Dreams but not birds
What an uncomfortable night. I waited with the familiar feeling that I didn't belong there. Ten more minutes, and I would be shuffled out of his dorm, out of his life--again. Like her, I was dressed in my best clothes. We girls are so transparent. Why had I come? I have to admit, I had been feeling rather giddy. I don't feel the way I used to, and I don't care what happens with us, but I was so excited--just to have this in my life again. Two months had been erased by a kiss on the forehead, and she had disappeared as quickly as the photographs on his ceiling. It was as if the world was snapping right back to the way it had been. It felt so natural.
Yes, I realize now that it is not as simple as that. I had not really thought about it. It felt simple--so why wouldn't it be? If I wanted nothing from the situation, why was it so hard to just let things be? I had been looking forward to spending the evening with him again, but of course this made sense--he had to talk to her. Not a big deal. But I felt like I didn't belong there. Who knows what will happen? I don't know--or really care--, but I feel like that may have been my last time in his room. Our lives are too complicated.
What is it about beauty that has such power over us? Why do some faces continue to entrance us much longer than logic says they should? Here, he had two girls sitting awkwardly across from each other, both there with a goal in mind, both there for the same reason--that face. I glanced over my shoulder and caught sight of his haunting smile posted on the wall, frozen in time and somehow more lifelike than the hurried countenance in front of me. I probably won't be coming back, I thought. New classes, new schedule, I have a feeling we will not be in each other's lives.
Yes, I realize now that it is not as simple as that. I had not really thought about it. It felt simple--so why wouldn't it be? If I wanted nothing from the situation, why was it so hard to just let things be? I had been looking forward to spending the evening with him again, but of course this made sense--he had to talk to her. Not a big deal. But I felt like I didn't belong there. Who knows what will happen? I don't know--or really care--, but I feel like that may have been my last time in his room. Our lives are too complicated.
What is it about beauty that has such power over us? Why do some faces continue to entrance us much longer than logic says they should? Here, he had two girls sitting awkwardly across from each other, both there with a goal in mind, both there for the same reason--that face. I glanced over my shoulder and caught sight of his haunting smile posted on the wall, frozen in time and somehow more lifelike than the hurried countenance in front of me. I probably won't be coming back, I thought. New classes, new schedule, I have a feeling we will not be in each other's lives.