Not A Very Good Day :(
So today's sucked so far.
When I got to school, the hallway was flooded which was ass so we had to use the side staircase. Aside from the regular, normal, everyday traffic, there was a lot more than usual which annoyed me. To get to my locker, which is on the 2nd floor, I had to go allll the way up to the 3rd, walk across and go up the middle stair case to the 4th floor, then walk across to the OTHER side to take the other side staircase and walk down the stairs to go to the fourth floor. Then to go back was the same deal. Horrible isn't it?! Nothing unusual for Science High School though.
Then I didn't decide to do my Women's Studies homework (I'll do it tonight though ;D ). And I didn't type up the thing for English (I'll do it tonight...). AND Saturday I was SUPPOSED to take my placement test for Rutgers but I wasn't notified in any way so I'm doing it this Saturday (which sucks ass). Um...oh yea! That interview for that scholarship was complete ass. I didn't get shit. I was pissssed. I was cursing up a storm in Caprig's office. I can't believe I wasted my time on that bullshit. They're lucky I even gave them the honor of even taking the time to APPLY to their scholarship.
I went to ECC today and had to take a test.I got a 72 on it. I ended up getting a B in the class for the semester. There was only 1 A and 3 Bs so I feel awesome for getting on of the very few Bs in the class! But I'm still pissed I didn't get that B+ or A. Aww poo. Whatever. Sucky Day. So I had to do her a favor and ended up being at ECC until about 4:30-5:00.
So when I got home I already hear bitching and yelling and arguing because of me of course. Just because I'm going to college and my father is a cheap ass who doesn't wanna pay shit. He was telling me that I gotta take out loans and I told him there was no way I was taking out $17,000 loans every year for 4 years. He's fuckin crazy. Then there was a bunch of bullshit because of me having to pay for my deposit and room & board deposit fee thingy. Nevertheless, I got 2 checks. One for $125 for the deposit and the other for $100 for the room and board fee thingy. Not only that but I'm writing another for $175 or $200 for my Poconos money and Senior dues and a little pocket cash for prom shit. I'll just say it's for Rutgers LOL.
That's the other thing I'm pissed about. I have no fuckin idea what's going down for after-prom. So I was talking to Olga and she and I are thinking of getting a place in Wildwood. I'm talking to Yury to see if she wants to go to. Then if worse comes to worst I'll talk to my cousin and see if he wants to go down there. I figure if everybody else decides to be a dick shit, I'll resort to my cousin.
Then I was texting Ian and being that I was in ECC til god knows freaking when and I don't have service there, I didn't get 2 of his texts til like 4 or so. And then my mailbox was full so I deleted those texts since they weren't important anymore cause I read them and he talked to me already for like 3 minutes until my phone lost service again. Then when I was on my way home I was texting him and asked him to give me the number to his job so I could call him whenever I got home and he didn't wanna give it to me! URGH!!!!
I'm just very annoyed with everything. I guess I just need to run away for a while or something. If I was at Rutgers, this would be the point where I just hop on a random train to nowheresville and cry or punch someone or I dunno...do SOMETHING. I just feel like breaking down sometimes. I know I don't have it horrible or even bad. I can't handle the emotion sometimes. I'm very emotional but I guess I let them get the best of me. I'm strong inside but I'm really not. I've had the urge to cry for a few days now, but the tears don't seem to fall from my eyes and I just wish they would. I'm sure this is just my depression stopping by for a little but honestly, I just wanna cry. I try and try but it's just not working. I'm hoping I can go to Becca's this weekend because if I do, it'll help. I miss my girlies. I wanna go partying and drink the night away and have fun with the girls. I haven't done that in forever. Since my birthday to be exact. I guess I need my monthly dose of girls night drinking at Becca's.
Honestly, I don't know what to do. If it weren't so cold out, I'd do what I normally do. Climb out my window and look at the stars all alone and just think. And maybe cry a little even.
I just wish the tears would fall. Even if it was just one.
xoxo
~Chrissy~
PS: I'd like some comments.
When I got to school, the hallway was flooded which was ass so we had to use the side staircase. Aside from the regular, normal, everyday traffic, there was a lot more than usual which annoyed me. To get to my locker, which is on the 2nd floor, I had to go allll the way up to the 3rd, walk across and go up the middle stair case to the 4th floor, then walk across to the OTHER side to take the other side staircase and walk down the stairs to go to the fourth floor. Then to go back was the same deal. Horrible isn't it?! Nothing unusual for Science High School though.
Then I didn't decide to do my Women's Studies homework (I'll do it tonight though ;D ). And I didn't type up the thing for English (I'll do it tonight...). AND Saturday I was SUPPOSED to take my placement test for Rutgers but I wasn't notified in any way so I'm doing it this Saturday (which sucks ass). Um...oh yea! That interview for that scholarship was complete ass. I didn't get shit. I was pissssed. I was cursing up a storm in Caprig's office. I can't believe I wasted my time on that bullshit. They're lucky I even gave them the honor of even taking the time to APPLY to their scholarship.
I went to ECC today and had to take a test.I got a 72 on it. I ended up getting a B in the class for the semester. There was only 1 A and 3 Bs so I feel awesome for getting on of the very few Bs in the class! But I'm still pissed I didn't get that B+ or A. Aww poo. Whatever. Sucky Day. So I had to do her a favor and ended up being at ECC until about 4:30-5:00.
So when I got home I already hear bitching and yelling and arguing because of me of course. Just because I'm going to college and my father is a cheap ass who doesn't wanna pay shit. He was telling me that I gotta take out loans and I told him there was no way I was taking out $17,000 loans every year for 4 years. He's fuckin crazy. Then there was a bunch of bullshit because of me having to pay for my deposit and room & board deposit fee thingy. Nevertheless, I got 2 checks. One for $125 for the deposit and the other for $100 for the room and board fee thingy. Not only that but I'm writing another for $175 or $200 for my Poconos money and Senior dues and a little pocket cash for prom shit. I'll just say it's for Rutgers LOL.
That's the other thing I'm pissed about. I have no fuckin idea what's going down for after-prom. So I was talking to Olga and she and I are thinking of getting a place in Wildwood. I'm talking to Yury to see if she wants to go to. Then if worse comes to worst I'll talk to my cousin and see if he wants to go down there. I figure if everybody else decides to be a dick shit, I'll resort to my cousin.
Then I was texting Ian and being that I was in ECC til god knows freaking when and I don't have service there, I didn't get 2 of his texts til like 4 or so. And then my mailbox was full so I deleted those texts since they weren't important anymore cause I read them and he talked to me already for like 3 minutes until my phone lost service again. Then when I was on my way home I was texting him and asked him to give me the number to his job so I could call him whenever I got home and he didn't wanna give it to me! URGH!!!!
I'm just very annoyed with everything. I guess I just need to run away for a while or something. If I was at Rutgers, this would be the point where I just hop on a random train to nowheresville and cry or punch someone or I dunno...do SOMETHING. I just feel like breaking down sometimes. I know I don't have it horrible or even bad. I can't handle the emotion sometimes. I'm very emotional but I guess I let them get the best of me. I'm strong inside but I'm really not. I've had the urge to cry for a few days now, but the tears don't seem to fall from my eyes and I just wish they would. I'm sure this is just my depression stopping by for a little but honestly, I just wanna cry. I try and try but it's just not working. I'm hoping I can go to Becca's this weekend because if I do, it'll help. I miss my girlies. I wanna go partying and drink the night away and have fun with the girls. I haven't done that in forever. Since my birthday to be exact. I guess I need my monthly dose of girls night drinking at Becca's.
Honestly, I don't know what to do. If it weren't so cold out, I'd do what I normally do. Climb out my window and look at the stars all alone and just think. And maybe cry a little even.
I just wish the tears would fall. Even if it was just one.
xoxo
~Chrissy~
PS: I'd like some comments.