Somebody Save Jennifer - Chapter Nine
Title: Somebody Save Jennifer
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing/Character(s): Nate/Jenny but other characters are apart of the story
Rating: M
Type: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Spoilers: Completely AU
Summary: We all have problems, but for Jennifer Humphrey they are much bigger. Will she be able to get over her addiction with his help?
Thank you so much to my beta, Jenna {_chngingx3lanes } Thank you so much for all your help.
Chapter Nine - The Lover In Me
Too long I've been
Denying myself
Hostage to thoughts I’m somebody else
And all the while you
Have been wishing to
Love on me
Mixed feelings and misgivings
That's all a memory now baby
When you saw me
For what I could be
Then I finally saw the same
Now the lover in me
Sees the lover in you
And I’m happy to say that I’m so not afraid
“What to wear? What to wear?”, Jenny asked the five different outfit choices scattered across Agnes' former bed. The room hadn't been the same since Agnes left, and Jenny made it her job to fill the bed up with clothes, making it her second closet, in order to hide the truth of Agnes never returning to school. The moment Agnes left, and Jenny returned to their room, it felt empty, small even. Like the walls were caving in, suffocating. She use to love the loneliness, the silence, but nowadays it was a never ending war between the three. Some days she wanted it, some days she hated it. Jenny didn't sleep in the dorm that night. She called her Uncle Rufus, begging him to come and rescue her, and he did. The first night Jenny spent in the dorm, she was so tired she didn’t think about her friends absence. The second night was hard, Jenny tossing and turning all night, until she told herself that Agnes was just out for the night and would be off to school before her. It worked. And it worked all the other nights after that.
Today was a big day, and she wanted to look her best. Which was code for Jenny wanted to look smoking hot for Nate, making his jaw drop to the floor. It was becoming a daily routine for Jenny, she would take just a little bit longer to get ready than the day before, all just to look her best for Nate. And everyday he would tell her she looked more beautiful than the day before, and Jenny loved that, she reveled in the love he had for her.
Deciding on the perfect outfit, Jenny grabbed what she could, burying herself in the bathroom. When she was done dressing, Jenny studied herself in the mirror. She was wearing a plaid mini dress, white button-down shirt, small tie, and purple tights. Just as she was leaving the bathroom, there was a small knock on the door. Smiling to herself, Jenny guessed who it could be.
“Good morning”, he smiled, his blue eyes shining in the dimly lit hallway outside. Nate was dressed in his school uniform, white paper bag in hand. “I brought you breakfast”.
Jenny accepted the bag from his hand, kissing the bottom of his chin. “My hero. I am starving”. She laughed, sitting down on the bed.
Nate closed the door, shaking his head at the mess of clothes on the other bed. “What's with all the clothes?".
Swallowing the mass of blueberry muffin she'd ate, Jenny answered, “I was trying to find the perfect outfit to wear”.
He smirked, sitting next to her on the bed, leaning closer. “Trying to impress someone?”.
Jenny smiled, feeding a piece of her blueberry muffin to him. “Yes, I am. He's tall, has these gorgeous blue eyes and I think his name is Nate”. She shrugged nonchalantly, gazing at him.
Nate smiled, capturing her lips with his, the taste of blueberry and cake mixing with her normal taste. “That Nate is one lucky guy because you look amazing”.
“I'll be sure to tell him that" she winked, finishing off the rest of the muffin. It amazed Jenny at how carefree she was around Nate. She'd never been this way with anyone, always holding back, not giving too much away, but with Nate it was impossible. She let the lover in her take over, accepting Nate fully into her life.
The clock showed, 7:35 a.m. The usual time Jenny headed out the door to meet with Eric in the quad near the Hartford Building. Gathering the rest of her breakfast, Jenny made quick timing of completing the rest of her outfit. Which included of a knitted plaid-green hat, gray jacket, black flats, bracelets, and school bag.
“I'll see you in Copperfield's class”, Nate kissed Jenny goodbye, throwing his school bag over his right shoulder.
“See you in Copperfield”, Jenny agreed before walking out the door. Nate waited in Jenny's room for ten minutes before exiting, completing the routine they practiced (and perfected) every morning that week.
No one knew about Nate and Jenny’s “relationship”, the news not hitting Gossip Girl yet and their great ability at hiding it. Jenny herself didn’t know what it was she had with Nate. They definitely weren’t friends and they couldn’t be dating because they hadn’t even gone on their first date yet. They were just two people that really liked each other, nothing yet defined. Besides, before anything was official, Jenny wanted to tell Dan and Rufus, making sure they agreed with her decision. The thought of being Nate’s girlfriend both thrilled and scared Jenny. She wanted to be close to him, have Nate love her just as much as she did him. She wanted them to kiss in public, hold hands, and go on dates. But the thing that scared Jenny the most was having him know her past. People would always tell her that a relationship was based on honesty and trust, even learning the same thing during her sessions in group therapy. But Jenny couldn’t have Nate find out about her past, she couldn’t have him look at her the way others did when they knew about what she'd been through, like she was a fragile doll that would break at the slightest movement.
They'd been “together” for a week now, keeping it all a secret. They would spend every morning together, eating breakfast in Jenny's room, until the scheduled time for them to depart. They would hold hands under the table in Copperfield's class, smiling stupidly at each other. Sure it was sort of Elementary school, but Jenny loved it. The feeling of his hands intertwined with hers, even if no one could see. Jenny would spend her lunch break with Eric, eating under their usual spot by the tree, and giving half her night to Nate. They’d talk and kiss in her dorm until curfew. Nate would always joke, saying the two of them were like a modern day Romeo & Juliet. Jenny would always laugh and agree with him.
“Hey, Jenny, why don’t you and Eric sit with us today”, Serena invited, as she was exiting the cafeteria. Jenny agreed, telling Eric their change of plans. He seemed happy to eat lunch with his sister for a change. Jenny was more than happy to agree, the thought of eating lunch with Nate increasing her heart rate.
Jenny and Eric sat down at Serena's table, Dan and Nate were there as well, talking sports and school. When Nate saw her, he smiled, and Jenny took the seat next to him.
“You never told me about your trip. How was it?”, Serena asked, genuinely interested.
“It was fun!”, Jenny smiled, remembering the good times she had with her uncle. “The shows were amazing. I’d seen my uncle play before, but I’ve never seen the crowd react to him the way they did. It was magical”.
Serena smiled, capturing her long blonde hair into a low ponytail. It surprised Jenny to know that Dan was dating a girl like Serena, a total beauty with a past. He would usually dated brainy girls. Serena was a smart girl that could hold her own in a heated debate, but she wasn’t really Dan's type, or so Jenny thought. Nothing about Dan had been the same to Jenny ever since he'd went away to school his sophomore year. He was like a new person. It sacred Jenny at first but she learned to live with it, just like all the other changes that were made in her life at the time.
“He is really amazing”, Serena admitted, growing up a fan of Rufus Humphrey's music. Her mother would play it all the time, she and Eric dancing to it in their rooms. “You wanna know what my favorite song from him is?”.
Tucking a clump of curls behind her ear, Jenny nodded. “Sure”.
“It's a tie between 'Love You Forever' and 'Blue Eyed Girl'. Those are like his most powerful songs”, Serena gushed, clapping her hands together.
Jenny shared a glance with Dan, the mention of 'Blue Eyed Girl' increasing her heart rate. She was never ashamed of the fact there was a song written for her, but the thought of Serena and Nate knowing scared her. The song was about her life: abuse, cutting, depression, and feeling lost in a sea of people.
“That's my favorite song, too”, Nate agreed, grazing Jenny's hand with his. “I played 'Blue Eyed Girl' forever in my ipod when he released it”.
“Me, too!”, Serena squealed, almost jumping out of her seat.
“The song is just too real, which I think is the best part of it all”, Eric piped in.
In the mist of all the gushing between Nate, Serena, and Eric, Jenny was freaking out! Her hands were clammy, eyes hurting, mouth branded with the taste of pennies, veins twitching, face hot. She could feel Dan's eyes on her, monitoring her reactions, getting ready for her to snap. Of course he knew the song was about Jenny but never said a word and whenever Rufus was asked about the song in the press, where his inspiration came from, he would reply, saying, “Brooklyn”. The song connected them: Dan, Rufus, Jenny, and her parents. It was their world, an unspoken truth, never sung, never played, and never discussed. It didn't occurred to them what the outside world would think, how they would react, or even if they would understand. To them it was a song, sung by an amazing talent. A number one hit, bound to sell millions of dollars, Grammy nominations, and a sold out concert tour. To Jenny and the Humphrey family it was a life, one they lived and witnessed. It was a curse, a problem, a sad thing to talk about.
“Jenny…Jenny, are you ok?”. She could hear Eric’s voice, snapping her from the cold thoughts in her cognizance, the color returning to her flesh. “You looked a little green”.
She sighed deeply, gaining her calmness back. “Just had a thought”. Nate looked at her concerned, she winked at him, the smile. The gesture going unnoticed to everyone around except Eric.
“Do you want to know what my favorite part of that song is?”, Serena asked to no one in particular. She thought to herself, getting the lyrics just right. “The line went, 'my blue eyed girl gone tell the world your problem now, don't be scared, I'll save you from this hell”.
Jenny smiled to herself, remembering the ballad in her head. No matter how many times she'd heard the song, that line was the one that stuck out the most, engraved in her memory forever. It was Rufus that found her that night, helping her to become better, and giving her the greatest opportunity she could ask for. He was her father now, the one she wished she’d always had. He told the world that he'd save, protect, and provide for her.
The bell sounded, ending the lunch period. They said there goodbyes, Jenny rushing away from the group, but was stopped short, when Eric grabbed her arm.
“I thought you were quote, through with Nate, end quote”. Eric pointed out, causing a blush to heat up Jenny’s face. “I saw the wink and I know you know that he and Vanessa broke up and why”.
Tucking a clump of blonde curls behind her left ear, Jenny thought back to entire week she'd spent with Nate. “What if I told you that Nate and I weren’t through with each other just yet”.
“I should have known, just do me a favor and be careful”, Eric said.
Jenny laughed, smacking Eric on the arm. “Nate is the nicest most sweetest guy ever. Why should I be afraid of him?”.
His face was serious this time, more serious than Jenny had ever seen him in all the time she’d ever known him. “You should be careful of his ex”.
Eric was right! Of course Vanessa would be bitter after the breakup, considering he’d broken up with her over some other girl, and that other girl was her. Jenny sighed deeply, thinking of the massive criticism and speculation that was going to come with her and Nate’s new relationship. What if Vanessa showed up again? What if Vanessa wanted answers, demanding who was the reason for her breakup with her first and only true love? Jenny could feel the taste of pennies in her mouth, hands clammy, face, hot, and eyes watering. Her heart was beating loudly in her ears, causing her to be on the bridge of passing out.
First bell rung, signaling the beginning of class, the last of the day. “I should get to class”.
“I should go, too. Mrs. Pepper goes crazy when someone’s late to her class”, Eric said, pulling the strap of his messenger bag further on his shoulder. He walked away, one last concerned glance at his friend.
Jenny walked slowly towards the Barnaby Building, trying to prolong the day. The last thing Jenny wanted was to go back to her dorm room alone, the silence swallowing her whole. Her room just wasn't the same without Agnes. Looking around, Jenny saw there were a few stragglers outside the building, posting on walls, making out, and sneaking smokes behind the buildings. Putting her head back down, Jenny counted the bushes and flower patches surrounding the school as she walked. So far, she'd counted thirty-seven bushes and fifty-five that were flower patches. She was so busy counting, Jenny was completely caught off guard when a strong figure, grabbed her into the dark confinements of an empty bathroom outside, letting out a high-pitched squeal. She was cut off immediately by the warmth of someone’s mouth. If the kiss weren't so familiar, Jenny would have pushed the anonymous person away from her with a slap to the face. She smiled against his lips, circling her arms and legs around him as she felt herself being lifted and placed on top of sink counter.
The final bell rung, signaling the both of them as being late to class. “You make it really hard for a girl to wanna go to English class”.
“Really?…”, Nate smiled, pulling Jenny closer to him. She relaxed against him, loving the feeling of his body pressed against hers. Jenny had never been with a guy this way before, feeling this strongly. She’d had crushes at her old school, those not going far, or only ending with the guy wanting to just have sex with her and be threw. “How about we ditch and go back to the dorms?”.
“What?”, Jenny laughed, convinced that he was joking, because there was no way she was going to be able to cut class and he knew that. “You’re kidding, right”. Nate shook his head, guiding her towards the door.
Jenny tried to stop him, but he was too strong, basically carrying her out the bathroom. “I can’t skip class, Nate”.
He laughed, opening the door for them to exit. “Give me one reason why you can’t?”.
“Uh, because Dan will kill me”. She pointed out, knowing Dan would find some way of knowing she’d skip class. And if he knew she was with Nate that would send him into an overprotective spiral.
Nate kissed her, sending Jenny into the happy place she always found when Nate’s lips were on hers. “Dan will never know”.
Thirty minutes, close to an hour later, Nate and Jenny were tangled up in his bed, sharing a pack of sour Skittles, kissing one another in between, adding to the sugary sweetness. Nate smiled, popping another round candy in his mouth, then kissing Jenny, her tongue moving with his. He loved the feeling of her mouth against his, reveling in the feel of her body tangled with his, her sweet scent flooding his nose, making him want her even more. Jenny was unlike most girls he’d dated, especially Vanessa. With Jenny it was easy to be himself, laugh, and make corny jokes. She also provoked feeling within him that he hadn’t even known existed. He thought about her all the time, missing her even for just a few seconds. He had to touch her, feel her soft skin underneath his finger tips. She was additive to him, unable to stay away.
“These are really good”, Jenny smiled against his mouth before pulling away, popping another candy in her mouth. They weren’t as good as Nate’s kissed, but they came very close.
Nate kissed down her neck, earning a soft moan from Jenny. He took the bag of Skittles form her, feeding them into her open mouth. Nate groaned, when she sucked the tip of his finger into her mouth. He placed the bag on the table next to his bed, bending down to capture her lips with his again. Jenny moaned into his mouth, feeling him rub soft circles against her stomach. She arched into his touch, wanting him to feel more of her. With Nate, Jenny never wanted to be careful. She wanted him so bad, his body making hers react in ways it never had before. He was intoxicating, the smell of him, his voice, his hands, and his oh so wonderful touch.
Nate pulled away, taking in much needed oxygen. He kissed the top of her head, watching as Jenny intertwined their fingers. “I was thinking that maybe we should go out this weekend”.
Looking up into his eyes, Jenny hesitated. She wanted to badly to say yes, but there was something inside of her that made her keep quiet. Maybe it was the thought of Dan becoming angry with her or the entire school finding out. “Um, I don’t really think that’s a good idea”.
He sighed, running a hand though his hair, and rolling onto his back, untangling himself from Jenny. “Why not, because of Dan?”.
Nate could sense that Jenny was scared He had no idea what it was for sure, but his first guess would be because of Dan. He would no doubt freak out if he found out about them, just being the overprotective person he was when it came to Jenny. Maybe it was because Nate didn't have a younger sibling or because Blair was naturally tough, but he didn't understand Dan's reason for being so overprotective of Jenny. It was true that bad things happened to good people, but whenever Dan would speak of Jenny it was as if he was protecting her from something in her past, the two of them always arguing, Jenny countering with how well she was doing since before attending St. Jude's & Constance Billard. Nate never question them, it not his place, but now that he and Jenny were “seeing” each other, Nate was a little curious about her life before him.
Jenny wrapped her arms around him, kissing the place below his ear. “It's just that I have to tell him first that I like you”.
Nate sighed, running a hand over his face. “Why? You're a big girl”.
“I know...”, Jenny sighed, tucking strands of hair behind her ears. “...it's just that Dan is my cousin, mostly like my brother, and he has the right to know”.
“I agree”, Nate established. “...but in the end, the choice is made by you, not him, and whatever you decided is fine by me”.
Jenny's hear melted. How could someone so sweet and well put together be with a messed up girl like her. “You are beyond sweet”.
She kissed him, their mouths moving in perfect synch. Jenny let herself go, melting into his touch and kisses. They were so lost in one another, they didn't hear the lock becoming undone, and Dan returning from the library before scheduled time.
“You have got to be kidding me.”
----------->> Chapter Ten
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing/Character(s): Nate/Jenny but other characters are apart of the story
Rating: M
Type: Hurt/Comfort/Romance
Spoilers: Completely AU
Summary: We all have problems, but for Jennifer Humphrey they are much bigger. Will she be able to get over her addiction with his help?
Thank you so much to my beta, Jenna {_chngingx3lanes } Thank you so much for all your help.
Chapter Nine - The Lover In Me
Too long I've been
Denying myself
Hostage to thoughts I’m somebody else
And all the while you
Have been wishing to
Love on me
Mixed feelings and misgivings
That's all a memory now baby
When you saw me
For what I could be
Then I finally saw the same
Now the lover in me
Sees the lover in you
And I’m happy to say that I’m so not afraid
“What to wear? What to wear?”, Jenny asked the five different outfit choices scattered across Agnes' former bed. The room hadn't been the same since Agnes left, and Jenny made it her job to fill the bed up with clothes, making it her second closet, in order to hide the truth of Agnes never returning to school. The moment Agnes left, and Jenny returned to their room, it felt empty, small even. Like the walls were caving in, suffocating. She use to love the loneliness, the silence, but nowadays it was a never ending war between the three. Some days she wanted it, some days she hated it. Jenny didn't sleep in the dorm that night. She called her Uncle Rufus, begging him to come and rescue her, and he did. The first night Jenny spent in the dorm, she was so tired she didn’t think about her friends absence. The second night was hard, Jenny tossing and turning all night, until she told herself that Agnes was just out for the night and would be off to school before her. It worked. And it worked all the other nights after that.
Today was a big day, and she wanted to look her best. Which was code for Jenny wanted to look smoking hot for Nate, making his jaw drop to the floor. It was becoming a daily routine for Jenny, she would take just a little bit longer to get ready than the day before, all just to look her best for Nate. And everyday he would tell her she looked more beautiful than the day before, and Jenny loved that, she reveled in the love he had for her.
Deciding on the perfect outfit, Jenny grabbed what she could, burying herself in the bathroom. When she was done dressing, Jenny studied herself in the mirror. She was wearing a plaid mini dress, white button-down shirt, small tie, and purple tights. Just as she was leaving the bathroom, there was a small knock on the door. Smiling to herself, Jenny guessed who it could be.
“Good morning”, he smiled, his blue eyes shining in the dimly lit hallway outside. Nate was dressed in his school uniform, white paper bag in hand. “I brought you breakfast”.
Jenny accepted the bag from his hand, kissing the bottom of his chin. “My hero. I am starving”. She laughed, sitting down on the bed.
Nate closed the door, shaking his head at the mess of clothes on the other bed. “What's with all the clothes?".
Swallowing the mass of blueberry muffin she'd ate, Jenny answered, “I was trying to find the perfect outfit to wear”.
He smirked, sitting next to her on the bed, leaning closer. “Trying to impress someone?”.
Jenny smiled, feeding a piece of her blueberry muffin to him. “Yes, I am. He's tall, has these gorgeous blue eyes and I think his name is Nate”. She shrugged nonchalantly, gazing at him.
Nate smiled, capturing her lips with his, the taste of blueberry and cake mixing with her normal taste. “That Nate is one lucky guy because you look amazing”.
“I'll be sure to tell him that" she winked, finishing off the rest of the muffin. It amazed Jenny at how carefree she was around Nate. She'd never been this way with anyone, always holding back, not giving too much away, but with Nate it was impossible. She let the lover in her take over, accepting Nate fully into her life.
The clock showed, 7:35 a.m. The usual time Jenny headed out the door to meet with Eric in the quad near the Hartford Building. Gathering the rest of her breakfast, Jenny made quick timing of completing the rest of her outfit. Which included of a knitted plaid-green hat, gray jacket, black flats, bracelets, and school bag.
“I'll see you in Copperfield's class”, Nate kissed Jenny goodbye, throwing his school bag over his right shoulder.
“See you in Copperfield”, Jenny agreed before walking out the door. Nate waited in Jenny's room for ten minutes before exiting, completing the routine they practiced (and perfected) every morning that week.
No one knew about Nate and Jenny’s “relationship”, the news not hitting Gossip Girl yet and their great ability at hiding it. Jenny herself didn’t know what it was she had with Nate. They definitely weren’t friends and they couldn’t be dating because they hadn’t even gone on their first date yet. They were just two people that really liked each other, nothing yet defined. Besides, before anything was official, Jenny wanted to tell Dan and Rufus, making sure they agreed with her decision. The thought of being Nate’s girlfriend both thrilled and scared Jenny. She wanted to be close to him, have Nate love her just as much as she did him. She wanted them to kiss in public, hold hands, and go on dates. But the thing that scared Jenny the most was having him know her past. People would always tell her that a relationship was based on honesty and trust, even learning the same thing during her sessions in group therapy. But Jenny couldn’t have Nate find out about her past, she couldn’t have him look at her the way others did when they knew about what she'd been through, like she was a fragile doll that would break at the slightest movement.
They'd been “together” for a week now, keeping it all a secret. They would spend every morning together, eating breakfast in Jenny's room, until the scheduled time for them to depart. They would hold hands under the table in Copperfield's class, smiling stupidly at each other. Sure it was sort of Elementary school, but Jenny loved it. The feeling of his hands intertwined with hers, even if no one could see. Jenny would spend her lunch break with Eric, eating under their usual spot by the tree, and giving half her night to Nate. They’d talk and kiss in her dorm until curfew. Nate would always joke, saying the two of them were like a modern day Romeo & Juliet. Jenny would always laugh and agree with him.
“Hey, Jenny, why don’t you and Eric sit with us today”, Serena invited, as she was exiting the cafeteria. Jenny agreed, telling Eric their change of plans. He seemed happy to eat lunch with his sister for a change. Jenny was more than happy to agree, the thought of eating lunch with Nate increasing her heart rate.
Jenny and Eric sat down at Serena's table, Dan and Nate were there as well, talking sports and school. When Nate saw her, he smiled, and Jenny took the seat next to him.
“You never told me about your trip. How was it?”, Serena asked, genuinely interested.
“It was fun!”, Jenny smiled, remembering the good times she had with her uncle. “The shows were amazing. I’d seen my uncle play before, but I’ve never seen the crowd react to him the way they did. It was magical”.
Serena smiled, capturing her long blonde hair into a low ponytail. It surprised Jenny to know that Dan was dating a girl like Serena, a total beauty with a past. He would usually dated brainy girls. Serena was a smart girl that could hold her own in a heated debate, but she wasn’t really Dan's type, or so Jenny thought. Nothing about Dan had been the same to Jenny ever since he'd went away to school his sophomore year. He was like a new person. It sacred Jenny at first but she learned to live with it, just like all the other changes that were made in her life at the time.
“He is really amazing”, Serena admitted, growing up a fan of Rufus Humphrey's music. Her mother would play it all the time, she and Eric dancing to it in their rooms. “You wanna know what my favorite song from him is?”.
Tucking a clump of curls behind her ear, Jenny nodded. “Sure”.
“It's a tie between 'Love You Forever' and 'Blue Eyed Girl'. Those are like his most powerful songs”, Serena gushed, clapping her hands together.
Jenny shared a glance with Dan, the mention of 'Blue Eyed Girl' increasing her heart rate. She was never ashamed of the fact there was a song written for her, but the thought of Serena and Nate knowing scared her. The song was about her life: abuse, cutting, depression, and feeling lost in a sea of people.
“That's my favorite song, too”, Nate agreed, grazing Jenny's hand with his. “I played 'Blue Eyed Girl' forever in my ipod when he released it”.
“Me, too!”, Serena squealed, almost jumping out of her seat.
“The song is just too real, which I think is the best part of it all”, Eric piped in.
In the mist of all the gushing between Nate, Serena, and Eric, Jenny was freaking out! Her hands were clammy, eyes hurting, mouth branded with the taste of pennies, veins twitching, face hot. She could feel Dan's eyes on her, monitoring her reactions, getting ready for her to snap. Of course he knew the song was about Jenny but never said a word and whenever Rufus was asked about the song in the press, where his inspiration came from, he would reply, saying, “Brooklyn”. The song connected them: Dan, Rufus, Jenny, and her parents. It was their world, an unspoken truth, never sung, never played, and never discussed. It didn't occurred to them what the outside world would think, how they would react, or even if they would understand. To them it was a song, sung by an amazing talent. A number one hit, bound to sell millions of dollars, Grammy nominations, and a sold out concert tour. To Jenny and the Humphrey family it was a life, one they lived and witnessed. It was a curse, a problem, a sad thing to talk about.
“Jenny…Jenny, are you ok?”. She could hear Eric’s voice, snapping her from the cold thoughts in her cognizance, the color returning to her flesh. “You looked a little green”.
She sighed deeply, gaining her calmness back. “Just had a thought”. Nate looked at her concerned, she winked at him, the smile. The gesture going unnoticed to everyone around except Eric.
“Do you want to know what my favorite part of that song is?”, Serena asked to no one in particular. She thought to herself, getting the lyrics just right. “The line went, 'my blue eyed girl gone tell the world your problem now, don't be scared, I'll save you from this hell”.
Jenny smiled to herself, remembering the ballad in her head. No matter how many times she'd heard the song, that line was the one that stuck out the most, engraved in her memory forever. It was Rufus that found her that night, helping her to become better, and giving her the greatest opportunity she could ask for. He was her father now, the one she wished she’d always had. He told the world that he'd save, protect, and provide for her.
The bell sounded, ending the lunch period. They said there goodbyes, Jenny rushing away from the group, but was stopped short, when Eric grabbed her arm.
“I thought you were quote, through with Nate, end quote”. Eric pointed out, causing a blush to heat up Jenny’s face. “I saw the wink and I know you know that he and Vanessa broke up and why”.
Tucking a clump of blonde curls behind her left ear, Jenny thought back to entire week she'd spent with Nate. “What if I told you that Nate and I weren’t through with each other just yet”.
“I should have known, just do me a favor and be careful”, Eric said.
Jenny laughed, smacking Eric on the arm. “Nate is the nicest most sweetest guy ever. Why should I be afraid of him?”.
His face was serious this time, more serious than Jenny had ever seen him in all the time she’d ever known him. “You should be careful of his ex”.
Eric was right! Of course Vanessa would be bitter after the breakup, considering he’d broken up with her over some other girl, and that other girl was her. Jenny sighed deeply, thinking of the massive criticism and speculation that was going to come with her and Nate’s new relationship. What if Vanessa showed up again? What if Vanessa wanted answers, demanding who was the reason for her breakup with her first and only true love? Jenny could feel the taste of pennies in her mouth, hands clammy, face, hot, and eyes watering. Her heart was beating loudly in her ears, causing her to be on the bridge of passing out.
First bell rung, signaling the beginning of class, the last of the day. “I should get to class”.
“I should go, too. Mrs. Pepper goes crazy when someone’s late to her class”, Eric said, pulling the strap of his messenger bag further on his shoulder. He walked away, one last concerned glance at his friend.
Jenny walked slowly towards the Barnaby Building, trying to prolong the day. The last thing Jenny wanted was to go back to her dorm room alone, the silence swallowing her whole. Her room just wasn't the same without Agnes. Looking around, Jenny saw there were a few stragglers outside the building, posting on walls, making out, and sneaking smokes behind the buildings. Putting her head back down, Jenny counted the bushes and flower patches surrounding the school as she walked. So far, she'd counted thirty-seven bushes and fifty-five that were flower patches. She was so busy counting, Jenny was completely caught off guard when a strong figure, grabbed her into the dark confinements of an empty bathroom outside, letting out a high-pitched squeal. She was cut off immediately by the warmth of someone’s mouth. If the kiss weren't so familiar, Jenny would have pushed the anonymous person away from her with a slap to the face. She smiled against his lips, circling her arms and legs around him as she felt herself being lifted and placed on top of sink counter.
The final bell rung, signaling the both of them as being late to class. “You make it really hard for a girl to wanna go to English class”.
“Really?…”, Nate smiled, pulling Jenny closer to him. She relaxed against him, loving the feeling of his body pressed against hers. Jenny had never been with a guy this way before, feeling this strongly. She’d had crushes at her old school, those not going far, or only ending with the guy wanting to just have sex with her and be threw. “How about we ditch and go back to the dorms?”.
“What?”, Jenny laughed, convinced that he was joking, because there was no way she was going to be able to cut class and he knew that. “You’re kidding, right”. Nate shook his head, guiding her towards the door.
Jenny tried to stop him, but he was too strong, basically carrying her out the bathroom. “I can’t skip class, Nate”.
He laughed, opening the door for them to exit. “Give me one reason why you can’t?”.
“Uh, because Dan will kill me”. She pointed out, knowing Dan would find some way of knowing she’d skip class. And if he knew she was with Nate that would send him into an overprotective spiral.
Nate kissed her, sending Jenny into the happy place she always found when Nate’s lips were on hers. “Dan will never know”.
Thirty minutes, close to an hour later, Nate and Jenny were tangled up in his bed, sharing a pack of sour Skittles, kissing one another in between, adding to the sugary sweetness. Nate smiled, popping another round candy in his mouth, then kissing Jenny, her tongue moving with his. He loved the feeling of her mouth against his, reveling in the feel of her body tangled with his, her sweet scent flooding his nose, making him want her even more. Jenny was unlike most girls he’d dated, especially Vanessa. With Jenny it was easy to be himself, laugh, and make corny jokes. She also provoked feeling within him that he hadn’t even known existed. He thought about her all the time, missing her even for just a few seconds. He had to touch her, feel her soft skin underneath his finger tips. She was additive to him, unable to stay away.
“These are really good”, Jenny smiled against his mouth before pulling away, popping another candy in her mouth. They weren’t as good as Nate’s kissed, but they came very close.
Nate kissed down her neck, earning a soft moan from Jenny. He took the bag of Skittles form her, feeding them into her open mouth. Nate groaned, when she sucked the tip of his finger into her mouth. He placed the bag on the table next to his bed, bending down to capture her lips with his again. Jenny moaned into his mouth, feeling him rub soft circles against her stomach. She arched into his touch, wanting him to feel more of her. With Nate, Jenny never wanted to be careful. She wanted him so bad, his body making hers react in ways it never had before. He was intoxicating, the smell of him, his voice, his hands, and his oh so wonderful touch.
Nate pulled away, taking in much needed oxygen. He kissed the top of her head, watching as Jenny intertwined their fingers. “I was thinking that maybe we should go out this weekend”.
Looking up into his eyes, Jenny hesitated. She wanted to badly to say yes, but there was something inside of her that made her keep quiet. Maybe it was the thought of Dan becoming angry with her or the entire school finding out. “Um, I don’t really think that’s a good idea”.
He sighed, running a hand though his hair, and rolling onto his back, untangling himself from Jenny. “Why not, because of Dan?”.
Nate could sense that Jenny was scared He had no idea what it was for sure, but his first guess would be because of Dan. He would no doubt freak out if he found out about them, just being the overprotective person he was when it came to Jenny. Maybe it was because Nate didn't have a younger sibling or because Blair was naturally tough, but he didn't understand Dan's reason for being so overprotective of Jenny. It was true that bad things happened to good people, but whenever Dan would speak of Jenny it was as if he was protecting her from something in her past, the two of them always arguing, Jenny countering with how well she was doing since before attending St. Jude's & Constance Billard. Nate never question them, it not his place, but now that he and Jenny were “seeing” each other, Nate was a little curious about her life before him.
Jenny wrapped her arms around him, kissing the place below his ear. “It's just that I have to tell him first that I like you”.
Nate sighed, running a hand over his face. “Why? You're a big girl”.
“I know...”, Jenny sighed, tucking strands of hair behind her ears. “...it's just that Dan is my cousin, mostly like my brother, and he has the right to know”.
“I agree”, Nate established. “...but in the end, the choice is made by you, not him, and whatever you decided is fine by me”.
Jenny's hear melted. How could someone so sweet and well put together be with a messed up girl like her. “You are beyond sweet”.
She kissed him, their mouths moving in perfect synch. Jenny let herself go, melting into his touch and kisses. They were so lost in one another, they didn't hear the lock becoming undone, and Dan returning from the library before scheduled time.
“You have got to be kidding me.”
----------->> Chapter Ten