freaked ooot
Fuck its soo scary. Theres nothing i can do but worry. stefs had like 4 seiziers in the past month, normally he has like one/2 a year. its horrible, its like i completly lose him for a while, he has a fit, finally wakes up, doest remember anything, is totally spaced out, get frustrated and angry with himself then falls asleep for hours and hours. I wanna be there for him, which i am, but theres nothing as such i can actually do, apart from smile when he ocasionally opens his eyes. yesterday he went to bjj cause he was all pissed off about missing his comp. He ended up fucking his neck up bad, and even wore a neck brace to bed, along with that he was sooo crazy yesterday. he wasnt himself, it really scared me. And i know i probablly just sound paranoid, but even his mum and dad commented several time on how eird he was being, and if i was okay being with me. Its hard to explain, but in a way he was acting like a retarded kid. his voice had totally changed, he was insanely laughing at the stooidest thingshe kept sulking, almost to the point of crying, and screaming really loud. Im so worried about him.
anyway. i spoke to him this morning and he seems like hes back to normal, apart from the fact that he going back to bjj todday. he thanked me for putting up with his shit, and that it means so much that im their for him. he even told me that he's never really cared about anyone all that much, but he doesn't wanna lose me. man i cried like baby.
in other news, im sooooo sick of my job. Its hot and boring and the pay is shit, and almost everytime i finish im in a bad mood and go to sleep. its fucked i tell ya. I applied for a job online at trampoline, man i hope i get that, i love icecream. Speaking of applying. I got an email back from dance world today about their short time course, and i can have an audition. but i dont know if im gonna do it. its reall reall rushed. todays the 30th, and their class starts on the second. so it'd be audtion today/tom, then school in 2 days... fuck. i wish i had'v known bout it earlier!!!!
anyway. i spoke to him this morning and he seems like hes back to normal, apart from the fact that he going back to bjj todday. he thanked me for putting up with his shit, and that it means so much that im their for him. he even told me that he's never really cared about anyone all that much, but he doesn't wanna lose me. man i cried like baby.
in other news, im sooooo sick of my job. Its hot and boring and the pay is shit, and almost everytime i finish im in a bad mood and go to sleep. its fucked i tell ya. I applied for a job online at trampoline, man i hope i get that, i love icecream. Speaking of applying. I got an email back from dance world today about their short time course, and i can have an audition. but i dont know if im gonna do it. its reall reall rushed. todays the 30th, and their class starts on the second. so it'd be audtion today/tom, then school in 2 days... fuck. i wish i had'v known bout it earlier!!!!