Wound up in a movie with no story, and you are no where to be found
Okay so anyways, I'm going to Andover today...
Adam's family reunion is Saturday so I'm going with him...
Anyways...
That's not why I feel...off.
I'm off, because I'm afraid.
I've been blurting out all I feel...
I've been putting myself out there in ways I haven't before
grasping at straws...
like this is my last effort to keep what I want
because i'm so afraid he's already ruined this all
i'm so afraid in his mind it's already done
i just don't know why he's sticking around
and yesterday
i broke down and i explained to him everything
every little thing that hurts when people do what he did
and about how and why i'm scared.
i thought the fear would go away
and now i just feel worse
i feel like he hates me because now he knows that
seriously, i'm weak.
seriously, i'm nothing at all.
I played it like I was tough...
I always have.
But i'm not...
inside..i'm all shattered into a million pieces
inside i'm just a little kid
and i should just grow up
and not care
I don't want to feel bad anymore...
I wish they never hurt me...
I want to drop all this baggage...
He won't love me anymore because of this.
But it's his fault it's there too...
I just want this to be the end of the story
Close the book
End me happy, end it bitter sweet.
I'm depressed.
But I'm happy.
I'm happy with him.
And I don't want to be anywhere else - ever.
And if I have to move on at any point...
I'm not going to like it...
I'm going to always wanna be here with him.
I don't want to die regreting..
And I only want to live
If I'm with him.
So he knows i'm weak...
And I don't trust anyone enough to not kick me when i'm down
i don't trust him enough not to take the final stab at me
and end it while i can't move
We'll see...
I mean...if i hurt someone...
i rectified it...
i stuck by...
unless i was pushed away..
or told to go away...
I need someone who can stick with me when i break down
I need someone who isn't just going to hurt me...
just like every other person did...
So what do I do?
I want this to be the end of my search...
Because I've been looking too hard
and wanting too badly.
I'm just so tired.
I hope to whatever that i'm done
I'm done moving on
I'm done with starting again
I don't want to do it
It hurts so fucking much to try and trust people
Adam's family reunion is Saturday so I'm going with him...
Anyways...
That's not why I feel...off.
I'm off, because I'm afraid.
I've been blurting out all I feel...
I've been putting myself out there in ways I haven't before
grasping at straws...
like this is my last effort to keep what I want
because i'm so afraid he's already ruined this all
i'm so afraid in his mind it's already done
i just don't know why he's sticking around
and yesterday
i broke down and i explained to him everything
every little thing that hurts when people do what he did
and about how and why i'm scared.
i thought the fear would go away
and now i just feel worse
i feel like he hates me because now he knows that
seriously, i'm weak.
seriously, i'm nothing at all.
I played it like I was tough...
I always have.
But i'm not...
inside..i'm all shattered into a million pieces
inside i'm just a little kid
and i should just grow up
and not care
I don't want to feel bad anymore...
I wish they never hurt me...
I want to drop all this baggage...
He won't love me anymore because of this.
But it's his fault it's there too...
I just want this to be the end of the story
Close the book
End me happy, end it bitter sweet.
I'm depressed.
But I'm happy.
I'm happy with him.
And I don't want to be anywhere else - ever.
And if I have to move on at any point...
I'm not going to like it...
I'm going to always wanna be here with him.
I don't want to die regreting..
And I only want to live
If I'm with him.
So he knows i'm weak...
And I don't trust anyone enough to not kick me when i'm down
i don't trust him enough not to take the final stab at me
and end it while i can't move
We'll see...
I mean...if i hurt someone...
i rectified it...
i stuck by...
unless i was pushed away..
or told to go away...
I need someone who can stick with me when i break down
I need someone who isn't just going to hurt me...
just like every other person did...
So what do I do?
I want this to be the end of my search...
Because I've been looking too hard
and wanting too badly.
I'm just so tired.
I hope to whatever that i'm done
I'm done moving on
I'm done with starting again
I don't want to do it
It hurts so fucking much to try and trust people