I think I'm getting old.
Here's a nice wall of text for anyone who wants to read it.
Last Thursday, I came back from tennis and took a shower. As I was getting dressed, I turned on my computer, which automatically boots my instant messenger. At that moment, I noticed a screenname that I haven't seen in quite a while.
Now here's where I get to introduce Conrad. He's about five years older than me, and from New Zealand. We met on an online message board six years ago, and later worked together on implementing a fanfic archive in NewsPro. (Does anyone still use NewsPro anymore? I feel so old just saying it.)
We chatted for about 15 minutes, the awkward kind of conversation that you have with people that you used to be friends with a long time ago, but now you realize that you've both changed too much, and that you'll likely never be friends again. I'm not sad about it, because I'm a better person now, and he seemed so also. But it's also nostalgic in a way, because I just turned 19, and already I can think about my life as different stages, and the kind of things that really changed me as a person. When I was a kid, I measured time by how fast I grew out of my clothes, or how much older I looked. Now I think about how much wiser or more mature I am. Still not much of either, I'm afraid, but I can definitely sense myself changing.
Actually, I was thinking about Conrad a few months ago, because I heard from someone else that he had mentioned me in a conversation, and said something like "If women were men, Reeb would be the ultimate man." Five years ago I probably would have blown up over such a sexist statement, but now it just makes me smile; it's a special complement in his own way. I was more forceful back then, which might not be such a bad thing to revisit.
So as I was logging off, my roommate came in unannounced with her boyfriend. I don't normally think of myself as prudish, but if being upset about strange guys seeing me in my underwear is prudish, then YES I AM A PRUDE. I would have been a little happier if either of them had least apologized to me, but instead they BOTH came in and acted as if I wasn't there. I even wish that Kiri-Lin and I would fight with each other sometimes, because as it is now (and I'm guilty of this too) it's too easy to forget that the roommate is actually a person.
Last Thursday, I came back from tennis and took a shower. As I was getting dressed, I turned on my computer, which automatically boots my instant messenger. At that moment, I noticed a screenname that I haven't seen in quite a while.
Now here's where I get to introduce Conrad. He's about five years older than me, and from New Zealand. We met on an online message board six years ago, and later worked together on implementing a fanfic archive in NewsPro. (Does anyone still use NewsPro anymore? I feel so old just saying it.)
We chatted for about 15 minutes, the awkward kind of conversation that you have with people that you used to be friends with a long time ago, but now you realize that you've both changed too much, and that you'll likely never be friends again. I'm not sad about it, because I'm a better person now, and he seemed so also. But it's also nostalgic in a way, because I just turned 19, and already I can think about my life as different stages, and the kind of things that really changed me as a person. When I was a kid, I measured time by how fast I grew out of my clothes, or how much older I looked. Now I think about how much wiser or more mature I am. Still not much of either, I'm afraid, but I can definitely sense myself changing.
Actually, I was thinking about Conrad a few months ago, because I heard from someone else that he had mentioned me in a conversation, and said something like "If women were men, Reeb would be the ultimate man." Five years ago I probably would have blown up over such a sexist statement, but now it just makes me smile; it's a special complement in his own way. I was more forceful back then, which might not be such a bad thing to revisit.
So as I was logging off, my roommate came in unannounced with her boyfriend. I don't normally think of myself as prudish, but if being upset about strange guys seeing me in my underwear is prudish, then YES I AM A PRUDE. I would have been a little happier if either of them had least apologized to me, but instead they BOTH came in and acted as if I wasn't there. I even wish that Kiri-Lin and I would fight with each other sometimes, because as it is now (and I'm guilty of this too) it's too easy to forget that the roommate is actually a person.