(no subject)
I feel so stuck right now. I have just come to the realiztion that I'm avoiding anything college related. I did the scholarships, because my mom made me, I looked at the colleges my mom found, I didnt apply to U of R because my mom said not to. She is handling all the money stuff. She's not paying, but I have no idea the amount of money college is because shes like hiding it. My parents did all the FASFA stuff, and i honestly know nothing about the finantial stuff. It's not even like I have a choice of colleges either. I dont really know anything about my situation right now, because i'm avoiding it.
I also feel stuck in other things as well, mabye even behind. I feel like I just need a whole new enviornment, but not the college one. Like mabey the hospital enviornment. haha, i know thats gonna take awhile. I just have this intense need to be vital in someones life. I need to be needed by someone, and I need constant reasurance that I am improving peoples lives, or even saving them. How cool would that be, to help people every day you go into work. That would be my greatest joy. I guess its kinda selfish that I want to be a doctor to fufill this need.
MY LIFE IS SO MESSED UP CURRENTLY, BUT I DONT EVEN CARE. WHYYYYYY?????
I also feel stuck in other things as well, mabye even behind. I feel like I just need a whole new enviornment, but not the college one. Like mabey the hospital enviornment. haha, i know thats gonna take awhile. I just have this intense need to be vital in someones life. I need to be needed by someone, and I need constant reasurance that I am improving peoples lives, or even saving them. How cool would that be, to help people every day you go into work. That would be my greatest joy. I guess its kinda selfish that I want to be a doctor to fufill this need.
MY LIFE IS SO MESSED UP CURRENTLY, BUT I DONT EVEN CARE. WHYYYYYY?????