You can't fire me, I quit!
So this is pretty random, but I'm bored as hell tonight and as I was trawling through my computer, I found a write-up of my soundcheck experience at AJ's concert! I don't know why I never posted it. Probably because I also wanted to include the actual concert, but apparently that didn't happen.
I'm going to do this in list form, just because I personally find it easier to read.
- Y'all, I took my bike to the venue. I've never been able to take my BIKE to any kind of Backstreet related event. To me that was kind of crazy. It was right near my school, so it was 45 minute bikeride, but the sun was shining and I spent the whole ride in there listening to live AJ bootlegs and it was awesome.
- So I got there around 4, because I wasn't sure when the VIP thing started and I wasn't about to miss it. Turns out I needn't have worried. It didn't start till 7! And we were on the side of the street that had shade, so by the end I was freezing so hard I was shaking. But good lord, no matter. I had fun! I met up with awesome fans from the last concert (they'd made themselves a fangroup! The Izzlers! And they had sweatshirts and everything, it was precious) and it was super cool to see them again. It's amazing how quickly you bond over something like fannish interests. I felt like I was talking to old friends the whole time.
- So we got in for VIP around 7pm (Marcus is, as always, scary when he's herding people inside) and once we'd gotten our wristbands and were let into the venue, AJ was not there yet! Talk about intentionally creating buildup. I started getting nervous, which I didn't at Backstreet soundcheck when AJ was already on the stage once we were let in.
- But come on. What did I have to be nervous about? Once AJ came out, wearing his cute new t-shirt and his hat and his long HAIR that curled at the BACK nnguh, and he just walked on stage with that smile of his and said "hi!", I just started grinning like an idiot. He's tiny and precious and SO FUCKING HOT. Like, I don't know what he's been doing the past couple of months, but I am not complaining.
- So we got onto the questions pretty quickly, and. Well. He got good ones and bad ones. One girl asked him if she could buy his hat, which, come on. And there was another question that went "if you only had one word left to say, what would it be?" And I was already cringing, but AJ actually looked all thoughtful for a moment, and then he raised his mic and said a simple "thanks." I DON'T KNOW, MAN, it just got to me. So then it was asked who he's rooting for in the presidential election and he said Obama. He said he'd never been all that into politics, but he was behind Obama and "anything that isn't Bush is a good thing," which made us all laugh. And then he started talking about Kevin, how he used to get asked the political questions and how fans used to have banners the said 'Kevin for president', which he apparently was fully behind. I DON'T KNOW, YOU GUYS. He was just so him and it was lovely.
- So nearing the end I decided I had to ask a question and raised my hand. And I was picked! Granted, it wasn't hard, since I was near the stage and I just had to get eye contact with the tour manager ('the girl with the butterfly shirt', as he called me), but I wanted to whoop. And of course, OF COURSE you have to speak into a mic to ask your question. As soon as that mic got in my hand I just started fumbling, but I managed to say "hi AJ" and he said hi back. :D So then I told him that I was pretty sure I could speak for everyone in the room when I said we were all really happy he came to Denmark, to which other fans agreed and he smiled, and then I asked him if he was enjoying the tour so far. And he said, "I'm having a blast. I mean, I know when I went into this that I wasn't going to go directly to big arenas. You know, you gotta pay your dues. But I'm having a great time with these guys, with my band who's been with me for a long time, and Marcus who, you know, has been with me for thirteen years now. We're having fun on our testoterone-filled bus. But you know, I'm just being myself and working hard and it's, yeah, I'm having a great time." And you gotta understand. He was looking at me the entire time he replied to my question. It was such a lovely answer, but I kept being distracted by oh my god aj's looking at me jesus christ those EYES and i really like his hair like that oh god he's smiling i love his smile PRETTY PRETTY MOUTH oh god you gotta smile back you idiot! Which I did! I smiled and nodded like a dummy.
- One of my friends asked what he'd been doing the day before (Tuesday) and he went to see Indiana Jones with his crew! And apparently liked it. Someone in the crowd yelled 'Banana bar!', where he'd apparently been Monday when one of his trumpeters had turned 21. He was all, "don't tell me it's your birthday right before a show, I'm just saying. Because I WILL make a big deal out of it." THE CUTENESS, I CANNOT DEAL.
- I don't remember the context of this - I think it was whether Real Men In Dresses was an legitimate option for the album title or not - but he laughed and went, "my girlfriends have told me I look good in dresses." And the soundcheck manager guy was like, "...girlfriendS? As in plural?" And AJ was all, "Yeah! Apparently I have great legs." I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
- Then it was time for piiiictures! We had to stand in a single row line all around the venue (it was a tiny venue, so we ended up forming a big C) and we'd get an autograph and get a picture taken. Andre Csillag took our pictures! I felt dorkily privileged for some reason. And one of the first girls walked up to him, but as he was about to shake her hand she handed Andre her camera. And AJ did this cute little back-step dance while he waited for her to finish, and I was just completely struck with adoration for him. He's such a DORK, and I love that about him.
- When it was myyyy turn, I was inbetween this mix of nervousness and excitement. So I walked up when Marcus signalled that it was okay (dude had this little flashlight that he kept blinding us with and signalling us with) and handed Andre my camera. Then I turned to AJ, and I could feel myself just BEAMING as I extended my hand and said, "hi, nice to meet you." AND HE SAID, "HI, HOW ARE YOU, SWEETHEART?" I melted a little as I replied, "good, and you?" and he said "good." Look at us conversing! The second I got up to him, the first thought I had was, warm. He is so, so warm. He's all about eye contact and smiles and giving people endearments. And he's physically warm too! Like, he's got a lot of body heat when you stand next to him. So he signed my ticket and we got in position for the picture, and Andre took FOREVER to click that button, which, you know, was no problem, but my smile started wobbling. But then that was over and I said thank you and he said, "you're welcome. Have a great time tonight, sweetie." I was all TWO SWEETS IN A ROW, HELL YES while outwardly I said, "I will, have a great show tonight," and he said, "I absolutely will." And then it was someone else's turn. It was like fifteen seconds tops, but it was epic.
- Right, so after that he of course finished up and left the venue saying, "I'll see you guys soon. Enjoy the show!" And after that there was just a lot of waiting around. Yada yada, boring. We had an AWESOME DJ though. He played Backstreet (IWITW and Everybody), NSYNC (I Want You Back!), Britney, Justin and Nelly Furtado. MUCH love for him. When Freddie from the band came out, I was kind of star-struck. Because, I don't know. It's Freddie! Who makes us YouTube videos and has that awesome hair and a cute smile and is actually really hot. Luckily I was with people who weren't afraid to get a little loud, so one of them yelled "FREDDIE!" and he turned in our direction. We all waved at him and he started laughing a little, all incredulous, like, are you actually calling for me? IT WAS SO CUTE.
HI FREDDIE. ♥
- So then AJ finally came out, with that ADORABLE smile of his, and went into Drive By Love. He came out in a BLACK SHIRT AND TIE, you guys. Already I didn't think I was gonna make it. After that he launched directly into Love Crazy, and he's just. So full of energy. He gives everything up there, and every time he finishes a song, he breaks out in this GRIN that's just so happy and I really did it, I'm really doing it, and I just. I. ALEXANDER JAMES MCLEAN.
.....I DON'T KNOW WHY I STOPPED HERE. I have found an old chat of me gushing about the concert, so I'll insert those here. Because it was an epic night and it should be shared.
- During his first audience banter he was of course all, hi! Welcome to my show! Do you like the songs so far? But then he went, "This is a completely uncensored show, you guys. I can say what I want. I can do what I want. I can even lower myself down and fuck the floor if I want to. And I promise you that by the end of the night I will have." And, uh. Yes. It took SEVERAL MINUTES for the place to calm down again after that.
- He sang Fuck Marsha In the Eye! And we got the whole backstory too, of course. He was so cute with his scandalous little face when he talked about Marsha and this friend of his having sex in the pool right before she dumped said friend. Like, aren't you SHOCKED by this, audience? Hee, bless! He also did a little bit of You Can Let Go, JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. My heart skipped several beats, I'm not gonna lie. And he did snippets of Everyone and Not For Me when he had to introduce the songwriter for Sincerely Yours. IT WAS AMAZING.
- I don't remember when (damn me and my fickleness! The concert is too distant now and I'm just trying to piece this together from chats, alas), but it was during one of his banters with the audience that he was like, "For these shows, you guys, just call me Alex. Or Alejandro when I'm in Spain! *fingersnap* Or Alexander when I'm bad! Just don't call me Al." I do not have WORDS for how adorable that was. The whole night he was just happy and relaxed and NOT in big-concert-must-do-choreography mode. He made the audience laugh so many times! I was enamoured.
- He kept asking us if we liked the songs. Like, pretty much after every one. Which I found oddly vulnerable and so endearing. At one point he went, "So if the album came out tomorrow, you'd all go out and buy it?" And we all hollered, obviously. And he lowered his mic, CLEARLY struggled briefly to speak, then went, "Excuse me, I just choked up for a second." He LOVES those songs, and he loves our reactions to them. I couldn't believe how much he carried his heart on his sleeve that night.
- He explained pretty much all of the songs right before he sang them. I Hate It When You're Gone is his favorite lyrics-wise. And London is probably his favorite overall and the one he's rooting for as a single. (Which, ugh. Gorgeous, dammit!) He WOULD like to have Gorgeous as a single at one point though, and have him and his band in the video completely naked. I TOTALLY APPROVE. Freddie is hot stuff, yo.
- My favorite moment of the entire night, besides hearing all his great songs and seeing him sing his heart out, was near the end. We all started cheering for him, and for some reason, we did NOT stop. We kept going and going, and AJ got so SHEEPISH. Every time he tried to raise his mic to speak, we would cheer MORE, and he'd start laughing incredulously and look around the venue. It was like. I don't know. There was so much concentrated love on him in that moment and he could just NOT believe it, but he was so, so grateful for it. He could all see how proud he is of his work, how he beamed and said sincere thank you's every time he finished one of his songs, and I think we just wanted to let him know he did a good job.
So if you ever get an opportunity to see one of his solo shows, seriously, do yourself a favor and go. Because he puts his heart and soul into it, and he's in his element in a completely different way up there than he is with the Boys. Not better or worse, just different. He does everything he can to put on a great show, and he's AMAZING at it. I left that night feeling like he'd given me a little piece of himself home with me. He's pure emotion up on a stage, and I loved seeing the more casual side of him, the one who didn't have to censor himself as much and just wanted to talk about SO MUCH random stuff.
And you could feel the love emanating off of him. He kept saying, "If I could kiss all of you guys, I would." And we cheered, and he went, "You think I'm kidding, but man. You guys are amazing. Thank you for coming."
I'm going to do this in list form, just because I personally find it easier to read.
- Y'all, I took my bike to the venue. I've never been able to take my BIKE to any kind of Backstreet related event. To me that was kind of crazy. It was right near my school, so it was 45 minute bikeride, but the sun was shining and I spent the whole ride in there listening to live AJ bootlegs and it was awesome.
- So I got there around 4, because I wasn't sure when the VIP thing started and I wasn't about to miss it. Turns out I needn't have worried. It didn't start till 7! And we were on the side of the street that had shade, so by the end I was freezing so hard I was shaking. But good lord, no matter. I had fun! I met up with awesome fans from the last concert (they'd made themselves a fangroup! The Izzlers! And they had sweatshirts and everything, it was precious) and it was super cool to see them again. It's amazing how quickly you bond over something like fannish interests. I felt like I was talking to old friends the whole time.
- So we got in for VIP around 7pm (Marcus is, as always, scary when he's herding people inside) and once we'd gotten our wristbands and were let into the venue, AJ was not there yet! Talk about intentionally creating buildup. I started getting nervous, which I didn't at Backstreet soundcheck when AJ was already on the stage once we were let in.
- But come on. What did I have to be nervous about? Once AJ came out, wearing his cute new t-shirt and his hat and his long HAIR that curled at the BACK nnguh, and he just walked on stage with that smile of his and said "hi!", I just started grinning like an idiot. He's tiny and precious and SO FUCKING HOT. Like, I don't know what he's been doing the past couple of months, but I am not complaining.
- So we got onto the questions pretty quickly, and. Well. He got good ones and bad ones. One girl asked him if she could buy his hat, which, come on. And there was another question that went "if you only had one word left to say, what would it be?" And I was already cringing, but AJ actually looked all thoughtful for a moment, and then he raised his mic and said a simple "thanks." I DON'T KNOW, MAN, it just got to me. So then it was asked who he's rooting for in the presidential election and he said Obama. He said he'd never been all that into politics, but he was behind Obama and "anything that isn't Bush is a good thing," which made us all laugh. And then he started talking about Kevin, how he used to get asked the political questions and how fans used to have banners the said 'Kevin for president', which he apparently was fully behind. I DON'T KNOW, YOU GUYS. He was just so him and it was lovely.
- So nearing the end I decided I had to ask a question and raised my hand. And I was picked! Granted, it wasn't hard, since I was near the stage and I just had to get eye contact with the tour manager ('the girl with the butterfly shirt', as he called me), but I wanted to whoop. And of course, OF COURSE you have to speak into a mic to ask your question. As soon as that mic got in my hand I just started fumbling, but I managed to say "hi AJ" and he said hi back. :D So then I told him that I was pretty sure I could speak for everyone in the room when I said we were all really happy he came to Denmark, to which other fans agreed and he smiled, and then I asked him if he was enjoying the tour so far. And he said, "I'm having a blast. I mean, I know when I went into this that I wasn't going to go directly to big arenas. You know, you gotta pay your dues. But I'm having a great time with these guys, with my band who's been with me for a long time, and Marcus who, you know, has been with me for thirteen years now. We're having fun on our testoterone-filled bus. But you know, I'm just being myself and working hard and it's, yeah, I'm having a great time." And you gotta understand. He was looking at me the entire time he replied to my question. It was such a lovely answer, but I kept being distracted by oh my god aj's looking at me jesus christ those EYES and i really like his hair like that oh god he's smiling i love his smile PRETTY PRETTY MOUTH oh god you gotta smile back you idiot! Which I did! I smiled and nodded like a dummy.
- One of my friends asked what he'd been doing the day before (Tuesday) and he went to see Indiana Jones with his crew! And apparently liked it. Someone in the crowd yelled 'Banana bar!', where he'd apparently been Monday when one of his trumpeters had turned 21. He was all, "don't tell me it's your birthday right before a show, I'm just saying. Because I WILL make a big deal out of it." THE CUTENESS, I CANNOT DEAL.
- I don't remember the context of this - I think it was whether Real Men In Dresses was an legitimate option for the album title or not - but he laughed and went, "my girlfriends have told me I look good in dresses." And the soundcheck manager guy was like, "...girlfriendS? As in plural?" And AJ was all, "Yeah! Apparently I have great legs." I LOVE HIM SO MUCH.
- Then it was time for piiiictures! We had to stand in a single row line all around the venue (it was a tiny venue, so we ended up forming a big C) and we'd get an autograph and get a picture taken. Andre Csillag took our pictures! I felt dorkily privileged for some reason. And one of the first girls walked up to him, but as he was about to shake her hand she handed Andre her camera. And AJ did this cute little back-step dance while he waited for her to finish, and I was just completely struck with adoration for him. He's such a DORK, and I love that about him.
- When it was myyyy turn, I was inbetween this mix of nervousness and excitement. So I walked up when Marcus signalled that it was okay (dude had this little flashlight that he kept blinding us with and signalling us with) and handed Andre my camera. Then I turned to AJ, and I could feel myself just BEAMING as I extended my hand and said, "hi, nice to meet you." AND HE SAID, "HI, HOW ARE YOU, SWEETHEART?" I melted a little as I replied, "good, and you?" and he said "good." Look at us conversing! The second I got up to him, the first thought I had was, warm. He is so, so warm. He's all about eye contact and smiles and giving people endearments. And he's physically warm too! Like, he's got a lot of body heat when you stand next to him. So he signed my ticket and we got in position for the picture, and Andre took FOREVER to click that button, which, you know, was no problem, but my smile started wobbling. But then that was over and I said thank you and he said, "you're welcome. Have a great time tonight, sweetie." I was all TWO SWEETS IN A ROW, HELL YES while outwardly I said, "I will, have a great show tonight," and he said, "I absolutely will." And then it was someone else's turn. It was like fifteen seconds tops, but it was epic.
- Right, so after that he of course finished up and left the venue saying, "I'll see you guys soon. Enjoy the show!" And after that there was just a lot of waiting around. Yada yada, boring. We had an AWESOME DJ though. He played Backstreet (IWITW and Everybody), NSYNC (I Want You Back!), Britney, Justin and Nelly Furtado. MUCH love for him. When Freddie from the band came out, I was kind of star-struck. Because, I don't know. It's Freddie! Who makes us YouTube videos and has that awesome hair and a cute smile and is actually really hot. Luckily I was with people who weren't afraid to get a little loud, so one of them yelled "FREDDIE!" and he turned in our direction. We all waved at him and he started laughing a little, all incredulous, like, are you actually calling for me? IT WAS SO CUTE.
HI FREDDIE. ♥
- So then AJ finally came out, with that ADORABLE smile of his, and went into Drive By Love. He came out in a BLACK SHIRT AND TIE, you guys. Already I didn't think I was gonna make it. After that he launched directly into Love Crazy, and he's just. So full of energy. He gives everything up there, and every time he finishes a song, he breaks out in this GRIN that's just so happy and I really did it, I'm really doing it, and I just. I. ALEXANDER JAMES MCLEAN.
.....I DON'T KNOW WHY I STOPPED HERE. I have found an old chat of me gushing about the concert, so I'll insert those here. Because it was an epic night and it should be shared.
- During his first audience banter he was of course all, hi! Welcome to my show! Do you like the songs so far? But then he went, "This is a completely uncensored show, you guys. I can say what I want. I can do what I want. I can even lower myself down and fuck the floor if I want to. And I promise you that by the end of the night I will have." And, uh. Yes. It took SEVERAL MINUTES for the place to calm down again after that.
- He sang Fuck Marsha In the Eye! And we got the whole backstory too, of course. He was so cute with his scandalous little face when he talked about Marsha and this friend of his having sex in the pool right before she dumped said friend. Like, aren't you SHOCKED by this, audience? Hee, bless! He also did a little bit of You Can Let Go, JUST BECAUSE HE WANTED TO. My heart skipped several beats, I'm not gonna lie. And he did snippets of Everyone and Not For Me when he had to introduce the songwriter for Sincerely Yours. IT WAS AMAZING.
- I don't remember when (damn me and my fickleness! The concert is too distant now and I'm just trying to piece this together from chats, alas), but it was during one of his banters with the audience that he was like, "For these shows, you guys, just call me Alex. Or Alejandro when I'm in Spain! *fingersnap* Or Alexander when I'm bad! Just don't call me Al." I do not have WORDS for how adorable that was. The whole night he was just happy and relaxed and NOT in big-concert-must-do-choreography mode. He made the audience laugh so many times! I was enamoured.
- He kept asking us if we liked the songs. Like, pretty much after every one. Which I found oddly vulnerable and so endearing. At one point he went, "So if the album came out tomorrow, you'd all go out and buy it?" And we all hollered, obviously. And he lowered his mic, CLEARLY struggled briefly to speak, then went, "Excuse me, I just choked up for a second." He LOVES those songs, and he loves our reactions to them. I couldn't believe how much he carried his heart on his sleeve that night.
- He explained pretty much all of the songs right before he sang them. I Hate It When You're Gone is his favorite lyrics-wise. And London is probably his favorite overall and the one he's rooting for as a single. (Which, ugh. Gorgeous, dammit!) He WOULD like to have Gorgeous as a single at one point though, and have him and his band in the video completely naked. I TOTALLY APPROVE. Freddie is hot stuff, yo.
- My favorite moment of the entire night, besides hearing all his great songs and seeing him sing his heart out, was near the end. We all started cheering for him, and for some reason, we did NOT stop. We kept going and going, and AJ got so SHEEPISH. Every time he tried to raise his mic to speak, we would cheer MORE, and he'd start laughing incredulously and look around the venue. It was like. I don't know. There was so much concentrated love on him in that moment and he could just NOT believe it, but he was so, so grateful for it. He could all see how proud he is of his work, how he beamed and said sincere thank you's every time he finished one of his songs, and I think we just wanted to let him know he did a good job.
So if you ever get an opportunity to see one of his solo shows, seriously, do yourself a favor and go. Because he puts his heart and soul into it, and he's in his element in a completely different way up there than he is with the Boys. Not better or worse, just different. He does everything he can to put on a great show, and he's AMAZING at it. I left that night feeling like he'd given me a little piece of himself home with me. He's pure emotion up on a stage, and I loved seeing the more casual side of him, the one who didn't have to censor himself as much and just wanted to talk about SO MUCH random stuff.
And you could feel the love emanating off of him. He kept saying, "If I could kiss all of you guys, I would." And we cheered, and he went, "You think I'm kidding, but man. You guys are amazing. Thank you for coming."