"There's No Mistletoe in the Shower" - CJ/Josh
Title: There's No Mistletoe in the Shower
Author: Kel
Fandom/Pairing: The West Wing, CJ/Josh
Object: A shower with three showerheads
Spoilers: none really, current with the S6 TWW timeline (sort of)
Summary: “I’ll tell you what the bigger problem is, that no one’s realized we’re missing. Or that no one’s needed the bathroom since we’ve disappeared."
Author's Notes: Written for cjcregg and I do hope she forgives me for the lateness of this. Big thanks to alto2 for looking it over. Also to softeranswer, who paid for brunch and told me that the easiest thing to do was to just start over. She was right (as she so often always is.)
There's No Mistletoe in the Shower
“This is your fault, you know,” Josh accused.
“For the tenth time, no it’s not.”
“We wouldn’t be trapped in here if it wasn’t for you.”
“I’ll tell you what the bigger problem is, that no one’s realized we’re missing. Or that no one’s needed the bathroom since we’ve disappeared. This is a party, right?”
“She has two.”
“How nice for her.”
A slightly tipsy Josh Lyman was laid out in the bathtub staring at the ceiling while C.J. Cregg sat on the closed toilet glaring at him.
“Are you bitter because Kate has two bathrooms?”
“What?”
“ ‘How nice for her’” he mimicked. “Are you bitter about that?”
“You’re drunk.”
“I am not.”
She gave him a pointed look. “You’re in the bathtub, Josh.”
“I may be a little drunk,” he conceded. “You wanna go through her medicine cabinet?”
“JOSH!”
“Isn’t that what people do at parties?”
“We’re not invading her privacy like that.”
“Right…just her bathroom.” He grinned.
C.J. shook her head and rolled her eyes. Sometimes he really was just such a boy.
“Is this weird?” she asked.
“Us being stuck in the bathroom?”
“Well, that…and being stuck in Kate’s bathroom.”
“So it’s not the bathroom, but the fact we’re at Kate’s apartment?”
“I suppose.”
“It’s a party.”
“We don’t do that though, Josh.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Throw parties. I mean, we see each other all the time at work.”
“And she just wanted us to see each other outside work,” he offered.
“Why?”
“You’ve gotten cynical in the past seven years, Claudia Jean. It’s the holidays; she wanted us to take a break.”
“But…it’s Kate. Who is she anyway?”
“I think…she felt left out. Like the new girl, you know?”
“I guess. She should fix her bathroom locks.”
“I’m sure it’s right below National Security on her ‘To Do’ list.”
“It’s a pretty decadent bathroom, don’t you think?”
“Decadent?”
“Tub and shower? Not to mention those are some very expensive bath salts you’re sniffing there.”
“Yeah, they smelled expensive.” He replaced the glass jar on the ledge near the tub.
“And who really needs three showerheads? Isn’t that excessive?”
“Wouldn’t it be more efficient? You’d get clean faster?”
“Drink your beer, Josh.”
“I’m out. Now we really need to get out of here.”
“The music’s too loud. No one can hear us. Everyone’s having too much fun….”
“….Without us. Why did you follow me in here anyway?”
“I didn’t follow you in here. I needed the bathroom, and the door wasn’t closed all the way. How was I supposed to know you’d be lying in the bathtub?”
“I thought you saw…” He broke off his statement. Maybe he’d been mistaken.
“Saw what?”
“Never mind, I just needed a break.”
“Is this about Donna?” she asked quietly.
“No,” he answered too quickly.
“Her date seemed nice,” she offered up casually.
Josh grunted unintelligibly and she knew she’d hit the nail on the head.
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with that kiss under the mistletoe, would it?”
She had seen it. “What kiss? I didn’t notice anything.”
“You really are the worst liar.”
Josh closed his eyes and willed someone, anyone, to come looking for them. Anything to get out of this conversation he didn’t want to have.
“Donna brought a date, big deal.”
“She wasn’t going to wait forever, Josh.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, don’t play dumb with me. You know what I’m talking about. Everyone knows what I’m talking about. She wasn’t going to wait forever for…”
“For what?!”
“For you, Josh. She’s been there for nearly eight years now, and nothing. A girl needs a little romance.”
His stony silence was all the answer she needed.
“She looked happy with him,” he mumbled.
“I think she is happy. It’s been a long time since any of us were truly happy about anything.”
“This feels like therapy or something.”
“I bet that tub isn’t as comfortable as a couch.”
“It’s not bad.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
“We are talking about it.”
“Josh….”
“No, it’s okay.”
“Okay.”
She studied the hand towels on the rack. There was a lot of purple in this bathroom.
“We’re getting old, C.J..”
“Thanks for that comforting thought, Joshua,” she said wryly.
“Do you ever feel like you’re running out of time?”
“To do what?”
“You know…marriage, kids…life.”
It was Josh’s turn to press the conversation that she didn’t want to have.
“I’d settle for one of these showers.” She kicked off her heels and opened the glass door to step into the stall.
“I’m serious.”
“So am I. This is pretty impressive.”
“You’re avoiding the question.”
She shut the glass door behind her and glared at him in the tub through the distorted glass. “What do you want me to say? That I thought I’d have kids by now? Or at least have gotten married? I have friends who’ve done both and are now collecting alimony.”
“There’s no reason you shouldn’t have those things….except the alimony, of course.”
“I’ll put it on my ‘To Do’ list,” she joked.
“You look ridiculous.” She really did look silly standing fully clothed inside, but he also noticed that the slightly sad expression on her face.
“Says the man in the bathtub.”
“You’re standing in a shower stall.”
“A very decadent shower stall,” she argued.
“You gonna shower in there?”
“You wish.”
“Sometimes.”
The full weight of his statement didn’t hit her until she realized he was getting out of the tub and advancing on the door.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to experience this “decadence” for myself.”
“Well hold on, I’ll get out.”
“No stay.”
Before she could protest again, he’d opened and shut himself inside the shower, which had previously seemed large. It was…cozy now.
“This is nice.” He could smell her perfume.
“I don’t think it was meant for two people.”
“Liar.”
They were standing very close together in the small space. She was suddenly very aware of the sound of her own breathing and the beating of her heart.
“Too bad there’s no mistletoe.”
“Mistletoe in the shower?”
C.J. flattened herself against the tiled wall. She could smell his cologne. The conversation and situation had taken a turn for the weird.
“It’s the holidays, C.J.” He leaned in closer to her face, eyeing her mouth.
“I don’t want to be a substitute, Josh. Not because you saw Donna kissing some guy out there.”
“It’s a Christmas tradition.”
“You’re Jewish.”
“I’ll convert,” was the last statement he got out before his lips connected with her own.
His mouth was soft against hers, gentle and teasing. She found herself leaning into his slight embrace and then taking an active role in the kiss. His hand drifted down to rest on her hip. She tilted her head and parted her lips, deepening their connection.
Standing in the shower and kissing, they were both so caught up in the moment they couldn’t hear the fumbling with the doorknob. It wasn’t until the door flew open with the use of some excessive force that they even realized what was happening.
“Oh my god!”
C.J.’s breath caught in her throat at the sound of Donna’s voice and she instinctively pushed Josh away to the other wall of the shower. Josh was caught so unaware that he stumbled backwards and managed to grab onto one of the shower fixtures to save himself from falling. In doing so he ended up turning on the shower. All three showerheads came to life with freezing water.
“Okay, now that was definitely your fault.” Josh sputtered out.
*finis*
Author: Kel
Fandom/Pairing: The West Wing, CJ/Josh
Object: A shower with three showerheads
Spoilers: none really, current with the S6 TWW timeline (sort of)
Summary: “I’ll tell you what the bigger problem is, that no one’s realized we’re missing. Or that no one’s needed the bathroom since we’ve disappeared."
Author's Notes: Written for cjcregg and I do hope she forgives me for the lateness of this. Big thanks to alto2 for looking it over. Also to softeranswer, who paid for brunch and told me that the easiest thing to do was to just start over. She was right (as she so often always is.)
There's No Mistletoe in the Shower
“This is your fault, you know,” Josh accused.
“For the tenth time, no it’s not.”
“We wouldn’t be trapped in here if it wasn’t for you.”
“I’ll tell you what the bigger problem is, that no one’s realized we’re missing. Or that no one’s needed the bathroom since we’ve disappeared. This is a party, right?”
“She has two.”
“How nice for her.”
A slightly tipsy Josh Lyman was laid out in the bathtub staring at the ceiling while C.J. Cregg sat on the closed toilet glaring at him.
“Are you bitter because Kate has two bathrooms?”
“What?”
“ ‘How nice for her’” he mimicked. “Are you bitter about that?”
“You’re drunk.”
“I am not.”
She gave him a pointed look. “You’re in the bathtub, Josh.”
“I may be a little drunk,” he conceded. “You wanna go through her medicine cabinet?”
“JOSH!”
“Isn’t that what people do at parties?”
“We’re not invading her privacy like that.”
“Right…just her bathroom.” He grinned.
C.J. shook her head and rolled her eyes. Sometimes he really was just such a boy.
“Is this weird?” she asked.
“Us being stuck in the bathroom?”
“Well, that…and being stuck in Kate’s bathroom.”
“So it’s not the bathroom, but the fact we’re at Kate’s apartment?”
“I suppose.”
“It’s a party.”
“We don’t do that though, Josh.”
“Don’t do what?”
“Throw parties. I mean, we see each other all the time at work.”
“And she just wanted us to see each other outside work,” he offered.
“Why?”
“You’ve gotten cynical in the past seven years, Claudia Jean. It’s the holidays; she wanted us to take a break.”
“But…it’s Kate. Who is she anyway?”
“I think…she felt left out. Like the new girl, you know?”
“I guess. She should fix her bathroom locks.”
“I’m sure it’s right below National Security on her ‘To Do’ list.”
“It’s a pretty decadent bathroom, don’t you think?”
“Decadent?”
“Tub and shower? Not to mention those are some very expensive bath salts you’re sniffing there.”
“Yeah, they smelled expensive.” He replaced the glass jar on the ledge near the tub.
“And who really needs three showerheads? Isn’t that excessive?”
“Wouldn’t it be more efficient? You’d get clean faster?”
“Drink your beer, Josh.”
“I’m out. Now we really need to get out of here.”
“The music’s too loud. No one can hear us. Everyone’s having too much fun….”
“….Without us. Why did you follow me in here anyway?”
“I didn’t follow you in here. I needed the bathroom, and the door wasn’t closed all the way. How was I supposed to know you’d be lying in the bathtub?”
“I thought you saw…” He broke off his statement. Maybe he’d been mistaken.
“Saw what?”
“Never mind, I just needed a break.”
“Is this about Donna?” she asked quietly.
“No,” he answered too quickly.
“Her date seemed nice,” she offered up casually.
Josh grunted unintelligibly and she knew she’d hit the nail on the head.
“This wouldn’t have anything to do with that kiss under the mistletoe, would it?”
She had seen it. “What kiss? I didn’t notice anything.”
“You really are the worst liar.”
Josh closed his eyes and willed someone, anyone, to come looking for them. Anything to get out of this conversation he didn’t want to have.
“Donna brought a date, big deal.”
“She wasn’t going to wait forever, Josh.”
“Excuse me?”
“Oh, don’t play dumb with me. You know what I’m talking about. Everyone knows what I’m talking about. She wasn’t going to wait forever for…”
“For what?!”
“For you, Josh. She’s been there for nearly eight years now, and nothing. A girl needs a little romance.”
His stony silence was all the answer she needed.
“She looked happy with him,” he mumbled.
“I think she is happy. It’s been a long time since any of us were truly happy about anything.”
“This feels like therapy or something.”
“I bet that tub isn’t as comfortable as a couch.”
“It’s not bad.”
“You wanna talk about it?”
“We are talking about it.”
“Josh….”
“No, it’s okay.”
“Okay.”
She studied the hand towels on the rack. There was a lot of purple in this bathroom.
“We’re getting old, C.J..”
“Thanks for that comforting thought, Joshua,” she said wryly.
“Do you ever feel like you’re running out of time?”
“To do what?”
“You know…marriage, kids…life.”
It was Josh’s turn to press the conversation that she didn’t want to have.
“I’d settle for one of these showers.” She kicked off her heels and opened the glass door to step into the stall.
“I’m serious.”
“So am I. This is pretty impressive.”
“You’re avoiding the question.”
She shut the glass door behind her and glared at him in the tub through the distorted glass. “What do you want me to say? That I thought I’d have kids by now? Or at least have gotten married? I have friends who’ve done both and are now collecting alimony.”
“There’s no reason you shouldn’t have those things….except the alimony, of course.”
“I’ll put it on my ‘To Do’ list,” she joked.
“You look ridiculous.” She really did look silly standing fully clothed inside, but he also noticed that the slightly sad expression on her face.
“Says the man in the bathtub.”
“You’re standing in a shower stall.”
“A very decadent shower stall,” she argued.
“You gonna shower in there?”
“You wish.”
“Sometimes.”
The full weight of his statement didn’t hit her until she realized he was getting out of the tub and advancing on the door.
“What are you doing?”
“I want to experience this “decadence” for myself.”
“Well hold on, I’ll get out.”
“No stay.”
Before she could protest again, he’d opened and shut himself inside the shower, which had previously seemed large. It was…cozy now.
“This is nice.” He could smell her perfume.
“I don’t think it was meant for two people.”
“Liar.”
They were standing very close together in the small space. She was suddenly very aware of the sound of her own breathing and the beating of her heart.
“Too bad there’s no mistletoe.”
“Mistletoe in the shower?”
C.J. flattened herself against the tiled wall. She could smell his cologne. The conversation and situation had taken a turn for the weird.
“It’s the holidays, C.J.” He leaned in closer to her face, eyeing her mouth.
“I don’t want to be a substitute, Josh. Not because you saw Donna kissing some guy out there.”
“It’s a Christmas tradition.”
“You’re Jewish.”
“I’ll convert,” was the last statement he got out before his lips connected with her own.
His mouth was soft against hers, gentle and teasing. She found herself leaning into his slight embrace and then taking an active role in the kiss. His hand drifted down to rest on her hip. She tilted her head and parted her lips, deepening their connection.
Standing in the shower and kissing, they were both so caught up in the moment they couldn’t hear the fumbling with the doorknob. It wasn’t until the door flew open with the use of some excessive force that they even realized what was happening.
“Oh my god!”
C.J.’s breath caught in her throat at the sound of Donna’s voice and she instinctively pushed Josh away to the other wall of the shower. Josh was caught so unaware that he stumbled backwards and managed to grab onto one of the shower fixtures to save himself from falling. In doing so he ended up turning on the shower. All three showerheads came to life with freezing water.
“Okay, now that was definitely your fault.” Josh sputtered out.
*finis*