Before My Eyes Part 2
Title: Before My Eyes
Rating: T
Summary: When Zack was five years old, he decided he wanted to marry Cloud Strife. Looking back, that was probably one of the best decisions he'd ever made. AU, Clack
Author's Note: Killed me to cut this in half, I feel like the whole impact of the story has now been lost. :( Stupid LJ. . .
Previous Chapter
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While everyone claimed they were excited to graduate, Zack was certain that no one was as excited and he and Cloud were. To them, graduating wasn’t just freedom from school. It was freedom on a much deeper level. They knew that after graduation, they wouldn’t see more than half of their classmates again, so they could care less if they knew they were gay. They decided that after they graduated, they would tell their parents, then the girls. As the weeks boiled down, they grew more and more excited, because as scared as they were of their loved ones reactions, they were tired of all the secrets and sneaking around.
Zack remembered how bummed he’d been that he and Cloud couldn’t stand next to each other when they graduated, because F and S weren’t exactly neighbors in the alphabet, and after he threw his cap he went right to work scoring the crowd of gowns for his boyfriend. Cloud saw him first and ran across the field, yelling his name, and Zack turned around just in time to catch him as Cloud all but hurled himself at him. When Cloud wrapped his legs around Zack’s waist and Zack put one hand on his back and one on his butt to support him, those around them had laughed, thinking they were pulling one last gay joke before they left school forever. They saw a flash and looking for the source, saw Aerith pointing her mom’s camera at them and snapping away, while Tifa rolled her eyes and Mrs. Gainsborough and Mr. Lockheart (Tifa’s mom had died in childbirth) stood behind them, smiling in one of those “kids these days are so strange” kind of ways.
Zack put Cloud down and they joined the girls in trying to find their own families. They found them quickly enough and had their pictures taken so many times they thought they’d go blind and were bombarded with hugs and kisses and tears, and overall it was really a great day. Afterwards they all went to Zack’s house (since it was the largest) for a small party, and halfway through Zack and Cloud managed to sneak off to the backyard. The sun was setting behind the woods, and the air was cool and refreshing as they walked together hand in hand.
Zack would always remember how hard his heart was beating that moment. He remembered how he stopped walked, forcing Cloud to stop with him, and how he’d taken Cloud’s other hand in his and how beautiful Cloud’s smile was when he did that. He told Cloud that he knew it was corny, doing this on their graduation day, but he really couldn’t think of a better time. Cloud had asked, “A better time for what?” but instead of answering him Zack reminded him that they’d been dating for six years. Cloud had smiled and replied that he knew, they had just celebrated their anniversary. Zack told him that maybe it was time they had a new anniversary. Cloud’s eyebrows drew together in confusion, but before he could say anything Zack had already moved on, talking about how he was going to get a ring, but when he looked, all of them had seemed kind of girly, so he opted for an earring instead, because he knew Cloud liked them, and he hoped that was okay. Cloud started to say something like, “Zack, what are you talking about?” but the sentence was only halfway out when Zack dropped to one knee and Cloud’s voice died as his eyes widened in realization.
Zack told him how much he loved him and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, and when he pulled a small black box out of his pocket (they were both still wearing the dress pants they’d been forced to wear under their gowns for the graduation ceremony), Cloud covered his mouth with both hands and started to cry. Zack opened the box to reveal the platinum (platinum because he thought Cloud looked best in silver jewelry, but the jeweler had promised him that platinum was better than silver, even though Zack thought they looked the same), diamond encrusted earring inside, and said the fated words, “Cloud, will you marry me?” and Cloud kept on crying as he nodded and said yes, yes of course he would, and Zack had stood and gingerly taken out Cloud’s current earring and replaced it with the new one before taking Cloud’s face in his hands and kissing him with as much love and passion as he was capable of.
They stayed in the backyard for a while, just kissing and holding each other, but eventually it started to get dark and they didn’t want anyone to worry so they headed back inside. Nobody seemed to notice they were gone (except maybe Aerith, whose eyes seemed to dart to Cloud’s ear like a magnet) and it wasn’t too long afterwards that everyone cleared out. That night Cloud met Zack halfway on the way to his house, carrying a few blankets, and suggested that they go to their clearing in the woods instead so they wouldn’t have to worry about being quiet. Zack had grinned and told him that was a fantastic idea. And it was.
They made love four times that night. They rested a bit in-between, and they talked during those moments. They decided to tell their families the next morning, and if they didn’t freak out too badly, they’d go ahead and tell the girls in the afternoon. They agreed that they didn’t want a fancy wedding, the courthouse would do, and they both wanted to get married before the summer was over, maybe the beginning of August. They were too exhausted to discuss much more than that, and they only slept a couple of hours before they put their clothes back on and trudged back to their respective homes, limbs heavy and hearts light.
They both ended up sleeping till after noon, ruining their initial plans, but they didn’t let it faze them. Cloud told his mom that Zack and he had something important to say, and brought her over to the Fair house, where Zack’s parents and Angeal were already sitting on the couch waiting. Ms. Strife sat down next to Mrs. Fair, and Zack and Cloud squeezed into the chair across from them all. There was a moment of awkward silence before Mr. Fair asked his son what all of this was about. They both fidgeted and Zack quietly told them that they’d been keeping a secret from them, for a very long time now.
Angeal raised an eyebrow while the parents exchanged glances. Ms. Strife cleared her throat and prompted, “What kind of secret, sweetie?” and Cloud immediately blurted out that they were gay. Nobody said anything for several seconds and Zack, unable to handle the silence any longer, blurted out that they had been dating each other for six years. Their parents kept on staring, Mrs. Fair’s mouth would occasionally open and close without sound, and Angeal looked like he was actually thinking about what they were saying, instead of just staring mindlessly. Zack and Cloud gave each other a nervous glance before Cloud all but whispered that they were engaged to be married. All eyes immediately fell to his hand, then Zack’s, (Zack remembered thinking it was kind of creepy, how in unison they were) until Cloud coughed and pushed his hair behind his ear (not that doing that ever did anything; Cloud’s hair was like a force of nature), drawing all attention to the glistening metal there.
And suddenly Cloud and Zack couldn’t seem to stop talking, putting their “finish-each-other’s-sentences” skill to use and babbling about why they didn’t tell them before, and that they didn’t want them to think they hadn’t trusted them, and they loved them all, and they hoped they could understand. They babbled on in this manner for several minutes (several minutes that felt like several hours) before Angeal held up a hand and they both clamped their mouths shut almost instantaneously. Then Angeal stood up and walked over to Zack before smiling and bending down to hug him and congratulate him, wishing him happiness. Zack didn’t respond, couldn’t respond. He just sat there gaping at his brother like he’d grown an extra head (or two). Cloud was in a similar state when Angeal crossed to him and shook his hand (it was a one-sided shake, because Cloud’s arm suddenly seemed to have all the consistency of jello), welcoming him to the family and asking him to take good care of his little brother. Cloud breathed out a small, “Thanks. I will,” while numbly nodding his head. He gave Zack a pat on the shoulder before going upstairs, giving his parents and Ms. Strife some privacy to talk to their children.
It had been an awkward conversation, and their parents didn’t seem to know what they really thought about it all. They were angry that they hadn’t told them sooner, but they assured them that they didn’t mind the fact that they were gay and eventually they started to loosen up. Ms. Strife jokingly mentioned to Mr. and Mrs. Fair that their son sure did have fine tastes in men, and both moms gushed a little over Cloud’s earring, while Mr. Fair wanted to know when they planned on getting married. By the end of the discussion both boys felt more relieved then they could ever remember feeling in their entire lives.
They were feeling great when they called Aerith and Tifa, asking them if they had some free time because they had some important news to tell them, and no Tifa, they couldn’t just tell them over the phone. Aerith suggested they meet at her house, because she’d made cookies, and Zack and Cloud agreed that was fine then relayed the message to Tifa. A few minutes later they were over Aerith’s house, asking the girls to sit down, then telling them what they’d just finished telling their parents (albeit, they did it in a much calmer manner this time around). Aerith had jumped up with a squeal and hugged them both, grabbing Cloud’s head and twisting it every which way so she could see his earring from different angles. Tifa stayed on the couch. Perfectly still, perfectly silent.
Zack noticed her lack of response immediately, and Cloud and Aerith noticed after about half a minute of Aerith’s fawning. Aerith put a hand on her shoulder and quietly asked if she was okay, and then Tifa started laughing. She told Aerith to stop being stupid (Aerith flinched at that. Zack was certain it was the first time Tifa had ever called her stupid.) and that Zack and Cloud were obviously joking. They were always flirting at school as a joke, and this was just an extension of that. The more they tried to convince her the more she denied it, until eventually she was on her feet, screaming and yelling until she was red in the face.
Mrs. Gainsborough ran into the room to see what the commotion was and Tifa stopped yelling. Aerith told her mom everything was fine, and she should go back into the other room. She did, hesitantly, and the four of them were left standing there awkwardly. Cloud had his gaze fixed to the floor, but he had to have felt Tifa’s eyes on him, burning a hole into his skull. After what seemed like an eternity he finally looked up and locked eyes with her, and Tifa’s lip started to tremble and her shoulders started to shake, and then she was sobbing and running out of the house as fast as her legs could take her. Aerith told them there was nothing they could have done differently, and they just had to give her time, she’d come around. That didn’t stop them from feeling awful.
After that Tifa seemed to become a forbidden subject. Zack pretended that he didn’t notice when they were walking past her house and she came out, noticed them, and promptly went back inside. He knew Cloud was pretending not to notice either, the same way he knew they were both pretending they didn’t feel like their hearts were in a steel vice every time something like that happened. They got better at ignoring incidents like that, because they were so unbelievably happy. For the first time ever, Zack could walk around town with his arm around Cloud’s waist, or holding his hand. He remembered one time they were walking in the park and he had looked down at Cloud and was overcome by how cute his fiancé was (this was a revelation he went through at least once a day), and he bent down and gave him a chaste kiss, and they’d received some of the nastiest looks Zack had ever seen on a human face, and he was delighted to find that he really didn’t give a shit what they thought.
They got married in August in the courthouse, like they’d planned. Tifa didn’t come. After the ceremony Cloud had rested his head of Zack’s shoulder and told him that he had a confession to make. When Zack asked him what that was, Cloud told him that he didn’t actually agree with one part of their vows. Zack had grinned and kissed the top of his head, remarking, “Me too. The death due you part thing, right?” Cloud had nodded and they promised that if the other were to die, even if it happened tomorrow or an hour from now, they would still be faithful for the rest of their lives, because one day they would be in the Lifestream together and they didn’t need some stinky third person there with them, messing everything up.
They went to Costa Del Sol for their honeymoon, even though the trip to the Western continent was crazy expensive (their hotel was too, as a matter of fact). Their stay there was almost revolutionary. At least a third of everyone there seemed to be a couple, and everyone was so absorbed in their partners that no one gave them a second thought. And if they did get noticed, it was usually by girls who would coo or giggle at them as they chased each other down the beach, and one girl had even told them they were a cute couple. Her boyfriend (so Zack presumed) was with her and while he didn’t voice his agreement, he still grinned at them and said, “See ya,” as they left. As a couple, Zack and Cloud had never felt quite as socially accepted as they did in that moment. That was probably when they realized that some towns might be more accepting of homosexuality than others and they started considering building their lives outside of Kalm.
College came before home building though. A good portion of their senior year had been dedicated to finding the perfect university for the both of them (they decided on Junon University) and even before they were engaged they had taken a weekend to drive out and ensure they got a dorm together. When they came home from their honeymoon they only spent a couple of weeks in Kalm before they were packing their bags again and taking the train to Junon. Their first order of business was finding jobs. They applied to all the same businesses, but weren’t lucky enough to get calls from any of the same places as the other did. Cloud ended up in a flower shop (The florist had been crazy impressed with Cloud’s knowledge of flowers. Again, Zack blamed Aerith, who incidentally also found work as a florist in Midgar.) and Zack found himself working at a coffee shop. Even though Cloud liked flowers and Zack liked coffee, the jobs still kind of sucked, but it got them through college and that was what mattered.
Junon University seemed pretty split on the homosexuality issue. Overall it was pretty okay. They didn’t exactly go around campus flaunting their relationship, but of course everyone they ever shared a class with eventually realized they were married. Most didn’t care, some stopped talking to them when they found out, and others treated them like they were the coolest thing ever. They kept to themselves for the most part, though they did make a handful of close friends (their dorm neighbors Reno and Rude were two of the coolest people either of them had ever met) and they even met other gay people, which was a new experience for them.
One of the biggest bummers of going away to college (at least for them) was losing all their special, romantic date-sites. Their first summer home from college (they came to an agreement with their parents that they would alternate which house they stayed in each summer), they decided to go for a picnic in their old clearing in the woods. Cloud had suggested it, and Zack could remember the way his words started tapering off after “picnic” and he was sure the growing look of horror on Cloud’s face was mirrored on his own as they both realized the same thing. They’d left their basket and blanket in the woods. All year long.
Their beloved one gil basket and one gil blanket were trashed, destroyed, murdered by mother nature. Zack almost cried when he saw the basket, still in the bush they’d so carelessly left it in, but now torn and crippled. Cloud had hesitantly opened the top, checking to see if their blanket was alive, and a mouse scurried out (And Cloud shrieked and clung to him. It was definitely not the other way around, because Zackary Fair was not afraid of mice. No siree. Absolutely not. No.). It was with heavy hearts that they brought the basket home to throw in the trash (And Zack didn’t make Cloud carry it, Cloud insisted! And even if there was a chance that there was another rodent inside, it wasn’t like Zack cared. Pssht.) Zack’s parents had a cooler and they ended up using that instead (Cloud had pouted and complained that a cooler was very uncute, and Zack thought that was cute enough to make up for the cooler’s lack). That summer they agreed that when they got their own place, their first order of business would be to get a new basket.
While they missed their old date spots while in Junon, it was fun looking for new ones and they particularly liked going to the harbor (they decided seaside living had a certain special allure while in Costa Del Sol). Their favorite spot, though it might have seemed strange to others, was an old abandoned warehouse. Whenever they had the time, they would break in and climb to the roof of the flimsy old building (it was only a few years after they’d graduated that Zack actually looked back and realized that all those times they might’ve been in potential danger) to watch the sunset together. Zack and Cloud were both county boys at heart, growing up in such a quiet town as Kalm, and when they were atop that warehouse, with nothing but each other and the sun, they could let themselves forget about the industry around them.
Whenever they had a semi-long break from school (Major holidays excluded. They went home for those.), they traveled. They wanted to visit as many places as they could to try to get a feel of the area, in the hopes of finding the perfect place to move to when they graduated. It took them almost three years to find the perfect place, but eventually they fell in love with the town of Mideel. They discussed their plans with their parents, who weren’t too keen on the idea of their sons living on a different continent. Zack couldn’t count the number of times his mother reminded him that Angeal was planning on staying in Kalm after he got his degree (Angeal was going to be a doctor, which meant he was going to be in school a loooooooong time) and she hadn’t been exactly pleased when Zack’s reply was, “That’s great! That means we can visit both of you at the same time!”
For as long as Zack could remember, Cloud liked to write. When they were younger (and occasionally when they were older) he often did Zack’s English homework for him (which was okay, because Zack did Cloud’s math), so Zack hadn’t been surprised when Cloud told him sometime during highschool that he wanted to go to college for journalism. Zack knew he didn’t really want to be a journalist, he wanted to be a novelist, but Cloud explained that he didn’t need a degree to be a novelist and journalism would be something good to fall back on. Zack had agreed and that was that. He didn’t really expect Cloud to start writing his first novel when they were still in college, but he did (Are you crazy babe? You just wrote like, six essays!). He did expect it to get published and sell more copies in a week than Loveless did in all of its booky existence.
He was only half wrong. It was impossible to sell more copies of anything than Loveless, because it had been out for forever and it was a classic, even though nobody actually liked it (except Angeal’s weird friend that Zack didn’t like talking to anyway). His book did get published though (the name CLOUD FAIR stood out on the cover in shiny gold letters, and Zack loved looking at it because he could never really get over the fact that the greatest man in the world was married to him and had taken his last name), and it did sell fairly well. Well enough that they were able to put a down payment on a house (Zack’s parents still had to help them out a little bit with the finances), which they did before they had even graduated.
Even after they’d gone away to college, Zack had never really thought that he’d taken his house for granted. But when they walked into their home (their home!) he couldn’t help but feel like he’d never realized what amazing things houses really were. They didn’t have much stuff, which Zack was a little grateful for because he wasn’t too sure how moving vans felt about crossing continents. It did make the actual settling in part a little slow though. Thankfully, kitchen and laundry appliances came with the house, but the first two nights they had to sleep on the floor, because they didn’t have a bed yet, and it took them about a month to decide on all the furniture for their living room. Before they bought anything for the house though, they went up to one of the town shops and bought a picnic basket, and a blanket.
It didn’t take them too long to settle in, overall. Zack secured a job at the school (it was a middle and high school, all rolled into one) as a gym teacher (What could he say? Mr. Highwind had been an inspiration.) and Cloud was already laying the groundwork for the sequel to his first novel. Mideel was great, and they loved it more than they could say. They loved that the ocean was only a 15 minute walk from their house, and they loved having woods as a backyard, because it kind of reminded them of their childhood. They loved the shabby old boardwalk that went above the town’s entrance, and the windmill that stood a little off from the center of town. They loved the people too.
Mideel’s community was one of the nicest either of them had ever experienced. After they decided on a house, they immediately made an effort to get to know their neighbors. On their left lived a couple about their parents’ ages. Their names were Lucretia and Vincent Valentine and, though they were a little quiet, they were nice enough. After they moved in, they learned that the Valentines’ son had gone to the same college as Angeal and the two were actually really good friends. (Small world, right?) To their right lived a single man named Barrett Wallace with his adopted daughter, Marlene. Barrett was a little rough around the edges, but he was a good guy and they liked and respected him (Not to mention his daughter was just the cutest little thing ever!).
The rest of the town was nice too. At first they had been treated like a bit of a novelty (apparently they were the first gay couple to live in Mideel in quite some time, and everyone seemed to think they were cute). Cloud had been a little miffed when the town housewives tried to include him in their circle, mainly because the town husbands tried to include Zack in their’s. He ranted for about a week that just because he was shorter, and a little less muscular, and he liked poetry and literature, did not mean he was the girl in their relationship. Eventually he calmed down and agreed to give the ladies lessons in cooking and flower arranging, because really, they were all hopeless.
Zack never thought an event could come along that would be more important than the ones they’d already been though. After all, was it even possible to top marrying Cloud? Apparently it was, because the biggest event of their lives happened when they were 26. It was during the summer and Zack and Cloud had actually been planning to leave in about two weeks to go visit their parents when it happened. As soon as they stepped outside they knew something was up. You could always tell when something exciting happened in a town like Mideel. It took them all of two minutes to find someone willing to share the story. A child had washed up on the shore in the middle of the night, presumably a survivor from a shipwreck, and was being treated at the town’s medical center. At the time they had felt bad for the kid, but they didn’t feel like it involved them personally so they didn’t think too deeply about the whole situation.
News about the boy’s condition was spread so thoroughly that the two of them couldn’t help but hear everything. His name was Denzel, he was seven years old, he was from Midgar, he had been on a ship that had crashed during a storm, they were sure he was the only survivor and he didn’t seem to have any relatives, he was very intelligent, but quiet, which was natural, given his situation. They received a lot of their information on the boy from the doctor himself, which was kind of odd, but the doctor liked them so they blew it off as the old man feeling gossipy. They started getting suspicious when Dr. Bugenhagen started lamenting how sad it was, and if only there was a nice couple out there that wanted a child, but perhaps were unable to, and how nice it would be if a couple like that would come along and adopt poor, sweet, adorable, well-mannered Denzel.
They said no. A thousand times they must have said no. But Dr. Bugenhagen had been persistent to the point that Zack swore he was hearing his little “Hohohos” in his sleep, and eventually he convinced them to visit Denzel before they made up their minds completely. So they did, and it was love at first sight. They called their parents and cancelled, telling them something urgent had come up, and started spending time with Denzel. Suddenly adoption seemed like the only logical explanation, but they wanted Denzel to get to know them first, because it was only fair that he got a say in the matter. They spend about a month and a half with him, and while they were sure Denzel didn’t love them as deeply as they did him (the sting of losing his real parents was still fresh, after all), he did like them well enough and they started to draw up the adoption papers.
They had a little less than half the summer left, so they asked Denzel if he wanted to go meet the rest of his family. He had shrugged, which was a very usual answer for him during that time, so they decided to visit their parents first, then go see Aerith afterwards. So they called their parents to let them know they were coming, and that they had a big surprise for them. They took a plane to the Eastern continent (Denzel wasn’t too keen on that, but he agreed that it would be better than taking a boat. They thought it was cute how brave he tried to be at first, but as soon as they took off he grabbed hold of Cloud’s arm and didn’t let go until they landed.) and then took a train from the airport to Kalm (Denzel didn’t have a problem with trains).
Zack would never forget the look on their parents’ faces when they introduced them to their new grandson. Mr. and Mrs. Fair already had three grandchildren from Angeal, but Denzel was Ms. Strife’s first, and they suspected she hadn’t really expected to have any at all. They could tell immediately that their son (Their son! Their precious, beautiful, gorgeous son!) was going to be spoiled rotten by his grandparents. True to his word, Angeal had moved back to Kalm with his family. Denzel seemed a little overwhelmed, suddenly finding himself with not only two new dads, but new grandparents, an aunt and uncle, and three cousins, but he got along well with everyone and in the few weeks they spend in Kalm they couldn’t help but notice how Denzel started to talk a little more, and smile more often. He started to hug his parents more often and hold their hands without them initiating it, and they’d been delighted when he’d complained about leaving because that meant he really liked being with his family and Zack and Cloud both thought family was incredibly important.
Eventually they convinced him that they had to leave, because they wanted to take him to visit his Aunt Aerith before the summer was over. They called her prior to tell her the good news, and make plans to come visit. Before the word “adoption” was fully out of Zack’s mouth, Aerith had squealed shrilly through the phone and started bombarding him with questions (Zack would swear for the rest of his life that he’d lost part of his hearing in his right ear that day.). After graduating from Midgar University, Aerith had decided to stay in the city (Zack and Cloud had been shocked, as they’d always expected Aerith to move somewhere picturesque, with flower fields and babbling brooks and the like) and she’d opened up her own flower shop, which she lived on the top story of.
They were a little uncertain how Denzel would react, returning to his home city, but he seemed happy enough with the familiar sights. Occasionally he would fall into a thoughtful silence, and they would leave him be, figuring he was thinking about his parents. More than he loved being back in Midgar, Denzel loved Aerith. He took to her immediately, which Zack and Cloud weren’t too surprised at, since Aerith was a creature who was loved by all. Sometimes they thought that part of the reason Denzel seemed so fond of Aerith was because like him, she wasn’t related to either of them by blood or marriage, and yet they still called her family. Either that or they were looking too deeply into it and the two had just naturally bonded. Either way Denzel would get crazy excited whenever they went to visit Aunt Aerith, and that was all that really mattered.
When they finally returned to Mideel (they had asked the Valentine’s to check in on their house every now and then), they immediately went about enrolling Denzel in school. The first day of school little Marlene had come knocking on their door, politely asking if it was okay if Denzel walked to school with her. Cloud told her that of course it was (Zack had already left, because Denzel had insisted that he didn’t need him to walk him to school, even though the middle/high school was right across the street from the elementary school), and lightly pushed Denzel out the door. After that day the two of them seemed to become best friends almost instantly, and Cloud and Zack couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic watching them, because they kind of reminded them of themselves when they were that age. (Especially when Marlene started kissing Denzel on the cheek to say goodbye. The first time it happened Zack could remember sharing a look with Cloud and asking, “When do you think we should talk to him?” and Cloud had responded, “Before he’s 14,” because while they did think of themselves as good role models, they didn’t want Denzel following in their every footstep.)
The years seem to fly by, and Denzel was growing up so fast. It took him a little less than a year to start calling them “dad” (Sometimes he called Zack “pops,” just like Zack called his dad, to differentiate between the two). When he was nine they took him to the Gold Saucer (Cloud got picked as a “lucky” member of the audience that got to be a Chocobo jockey for the day. Zack and Denzel teased him about it terribly.) and when he was ten they went to the Northern continent to stay at the famous Icicle Inn and try their hand at snow boarding. They visited their families in Kalm every summer, and they visited Aerith every year during Denzel’s spring break. Most people probably thought they were a far cry from a perfect family, but they felt like they were, and as far as they were concerned, they were the happiest people in the world.
The Geostigma epidemic started when they were about 30. Denzel was 11, and they hadn’t really worried too much because Mideel was such a secluded place. In fact they had been mostly worried for Aerith, because she lived in Midgar, where the outbreaks were the most frequent. Zack’s heart still clenched when he thought about the first time Denzel had pulled down the collar of his shirt to show them a bruise on his collarbone that he didn’t remember getting and that wouldn’t go away. They took him to Dr. Bugenhagen immediately, but all he could tell them was that it was Geostigma, it was caused by a rare blood disorder and wasn’t contagious, and as of that moment, there was no cure.
They were scared, but they clung to the hope that a city doctor would know more about it. After all, Denzel was the only person in Mideel with the disease. Why would Dr. Bugenhagen know anything about it? So they took him to Midgar. The doctors told them the same thing. Sorry about your luck, but there’s nothing we can do. Spend as much time with your son as you can and pay your bill with the secretary. They refused to give up though, so their next course of action was to consult Angeal, since he was the best doctor either of them knew.
Angeal did everything he could to find a cure. He stayed up all hours of the night, for days at a time, doing all that he could. Zack couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty about the stress he was putting his brother through, because his son was dying and that was all that mattered. They stayed in Kalm, moving in with Zack’s parents since they had two empty rooms, so they could be close to Angeal. Months passed. Barrett brought Marlene to come visit on Denzel’s 12th birthday and it broke everyone’s hearts to watch the two of them. Marlene brought him a bouquet of flowers that he kept next to his bed. Even after they wilted and died he kept them, and made sure they had fresh water. When he couldn’t get out of bed anymore, Cloud changed the water for him.
Some people might say that losing an adopted child wasn’t as hard as losing a birth child, but Zack didn’t see how that was possible. Of all his memories, the day Denzel died would always remain the clearest. Sometimes, when he woke up in the middle of the night, he thought he could still hear Cloud crying and feel Denzel’s hand in his, so much smaller and so unbelievable cold. And sometimes he would wake up with tears dried on his cheeks, and he’d look down and see that Cloud had been crying too and he’d wonder if maybe they’d had the same dream.
They buried Denzel in Mideel. The bruises never reached his face, and the suit they had him in covered up all of them except the ones on his hands. Just looking at his face, Zack remembered thinking how easy it seemed, to believe he wasn’t dead. That he would just open his eyes, smile, and admit the whole thing was a bad joke. Look Pops, it was just paint! All this time! Man did I fool you! Of course that didn’t happen though. Denzel was dead, and there was no changing that fact, no matter how much he and Cloud cried and wished it weren’t true.
Their friends and families came to the funeral, of course, and it meant a lot to them, but nothing meant more to them than when Tifa walked into the room. She’d come as soon as she heard (Aerith had called her), and she’d cried when she saw them, hugging them both and apologizing for everything she had done, for being a terrible friend, and for not being there when they needed her most. They forgave her instantly, telling her they had never really been mad, and it was their fault too because they shouldn’t have lied. She paid her respects and as she looked down on Denzel, Zack could tell she was wishing she could have been part of his life. He wished so too. She turned to look at them, tears shining in her eyes, and told them their son was beautiful. They agreed.
They didn’t get as much time to grieve as they should have. Denzel hadn’t even been dead a full year when Zack noticed the small black mark on Cloud’s shoulder blade. They skipped the other doctors and went straight to Angeal this time, because they knew he had already done so much research and Cloud obviously hadn’t had Geostigma long. Zack had pulled his brother aside and demanded answers. How could Cloud just now be showing symptoms? If it was a blood disorder, why was he just getting sick now? He screamed at him until his voice was hoarse, even though he knew Angeal was doing his best, and he let his brother hold him as his knees gave out and his yells quieted into sobs.
Angeal promised to do his best, but they all knew there was nothing he could do, so Zack took Cloud back to Mideel, so he could at least be in the comfort of his own home. The others came to visit often, and it was kinda nice having Tifa around again. It was difficult (and expensive) for everyone to keep visiting though (Tifa lived in Nibelheim, which was quite a ways away), so for the most part it was just the two of them. Barrett and Marlene visited them every day, and Marlene always gave Cloud a flower when she came. Zack couldn’t help himself from thinking how sad it was, for such a sweet young girl to be surrounded by so much sadness. Sometimes he thought about what would have happened had Denzel lived. Like if they would have gotten married, and Barrett and them would have been family. He tried not to though. He knew if he started living in a world of “what ifs” it would only be a matter of time before he went mad.
The disease spread slower with Cloud than it did with Denzel (Angeal had said it would, because Cloud’s immune system was more developed), but it was still horrifying to watch as each day Cloud’s shoulder, and then his arm, became more and more encased in black. Near the end he started suffering violent fevers, during which he would often talk nonsense. One night, when Cloud was doing fairly good, Zack had taken his half black hand and kissed the back. Cloud had tried to pull away, softly telling him that he didn’t have to pretend his skin wasn’t disgusting. Zack didn’t let go, and placed a trail of gentle kisses up Cloud’s arm and to his shoulder. When he pulled back and told Cloud he didn’t know what he was talking about, Cloud had started crying and Zack held him through the night.
The fevers got worse and worse, and occasionally he would suffer from seizures as well. If Zack had anything at all to be grateful for, it was that Denzel had died before his Geostigma had gotten that bad. Watching Cloud go through it all was enough. One night, during a rare moment of lucidity, Cloud told Zack he was dying. He reached up to cup Zack’s cheek and wipe the tears there away, before asking him if he would make love to him, one last time. Zack agreed. They went slow, since Cloud was so weak, but that was okay because they weren’t really doing it for pleasure anyway. They just wanted to be close, as close as they could, and Zack put all his effort into memorizing every inch of Cloud’s body. He wanted to imprint Cloud’s touch on his skin, keep the taste of him on his tongue, and keep the sound of his voice in his ears forever.
Cloud died a few days later, at the age of 33. Zack buried him next to Denzel. His parents tried to get him to move back to Kalm, but he refused, even though his house did suddenly seem too large, and he didn’t want much of anything to do with the other residents of Mideel. Cloud had been in the middle of writing a five-part series when he’d died, leaving the last novel unfinished. Cloud had already told him how it ended, and he had all of his notes. Even though Zack hated writing, he knew if anyone could imitate Cloud’s style it would have to be him, because no one else knew how Cloud’s mind worked the way he did. So he started writing Cloud’s last book for him, as a way to pass the time. He told himself he wasn’t just waiting to get Geostigma.
He had to rewrite it more times than he could count, but eventually his writing improved enough that the book could reasonably pass for Cloud’s work. He had it published, and both of their names were put on the cover, and the editor wrote some little introduction piece explaining what had happened to the original author. He’d asked Zack to write it first, but he didn’t want to. The book took five years to write, and Zack remembered how devastated he’d been when it was finally released to the public and the realization that five years had passed and he was still alive had hit him like a brick. He knew in that moment that he was lying to himself when he said he wasn’t waiting for Geostigma.
Geostigma never entered Zack’s life again though. Even if it did, it really didn’t matter because a cure had been developed for it when he was 35, two years after Cloud’s death. He did his best to live his life, even though he didn’t want to, because he knew Cloud would want it that way. But he knew Cloud and Denzel were waiting in the Lifestream for him and that made it hard. It crossed his mind a few times that Denzel’s real parents were also in the Lifestream, and sometimes he wondered if that would be a problem. He really didn’t want to go to court for custody rights after he was dead, after all. Assuming there were courts in the Lifestream, of course.
Three days ago Zack had gone to Midgar to visit Aerith. She asked him to go out for eggs and chocolate chips (with the promise of cookies when he returned) and that was the last thing he really remembered. He knew he made it to the store, because there was a chocolate chip lying next to him on the asphalt. He was pretty sure he’d been hit by that big ol’ ugly truck a few yards away, because it was stopped at a weird angle while the rest of the cars were fairly straight. It bugged him a little that he couldn’t remember getting hit, but he was almost certain it hadn’t been suicide, because he’d REALLY wanted those cookies.
As Zack laid there in a puddle of his own blood, he thought about what people said about your life flashing before your eyes when you died. He supposed they were telling the truth, but he kind of wondered how they knew about it. Obviously none of them had ever died and he sure wasn’t feeling up to letting all the frantic people hovering about him know that he’d just relived his entire life in a moment (He assumed it was a moment. It was really difficult to tell how long he’d been lying in the road. He was in the city, after all.). He could faintly hear the sirens in the background, but he didn’t pay them much mind. They were too late, and he knew it.
And that was okay. He was 39, he’d had a great life, and he was ready to die. There was nothing left for him in this world. Sure his folks would be sad, but they had Angeal. And Angeal would be sad, but he had his family. Aerith and Tifa both had their own families, not to mention each other. Life in Mideel would go on without him; Marlene had grown up to be a kind, beautiful young woman. She actually reminded him of Aerith at that age, in a lot of ways.
He shut his eyes when the rain started to fall, and it crossed his mind that it wasn’t really fair. It was sunny out when Denzel and Cloud died, so how come he got the depressing death weather? But then he thought, maybe it wasn’t rain at all. Maybe Cloud was out there somewhere crying, and these were his tears. The idea made him smile, and his smile stayed in place even as all life left his body.
“Don’t cry babe. I’ll see you soon.”
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Rating: T
Summary: When Zack was five years old, he decided he wanted to marry Cloud Strife. Looking back, that was probably one of the best decisions he'd ever made. AU, Clack
Author's Note: Killed me to cut this in half, I feel like the whole impact of the story has now been lost. :( Stupid LJ. . .
Previous Chapter
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While everyone claimed they were excited to graduate, Zack was certain that no one was as excited and he and Cloud were. To them, graduating wasn’t just freedom from school. It was freedom on a much deeper level. They knew that after graduation, they wouldn’t see more than half of their classmates again, so they could care less if they knew they were gay. They decided that after they graduated, they would tell their parents, then the girls. As the weeks boiled down, they grew more and more excited, because as scared as they were of their loved ones reactions, they were tired of all the secrets and sneaking around.
Zack remembered how bummed he’d been that he and Cloud couldn’t stand next to each other when they graduated, because F and S weren’t exactly neighbors in the alphabet, and after he threw his cap he went right to work scoring the crowd of gowns for his boyfriend. Cloud saw him first and ran across the field, yelling his name, and Zack turned around just in time to catch him as Cloud all but hurled himself at him. When Cloud wrapped his legs around Zack’s waist and Zack put one hand on his back and one on his butt to support him, those around them had laughed, thinking they were pulling one last gay joke before they left school forever. They saw a flash and looking for the source, saw Aerith pointing her mom’s camera at them and snapping away, while Tifa rolled her eyes and Mrs. Gainsborough and Mr. Lockheart (Tifa’s mom had died in childbirth) stood behind them, smiling in one of those “kids these days are so strange” kind of ways.
Zack put Cloud down and they joined the girls in trying to find their own families. They found them quickly enough and had their pictures taken so many times they thought they’d go blind and were bombarded with hugs and kisses and tears, and overall it was really a great day. Afterwards they all went to Zack’s house (since it was the largest) for a small party, and halfway through Zack and Cloud managed to sneak off to the backyard. The sun was setting behind the woods, and the air was cool and refreshing as they walked together hand in hand.
Zack would always remember how hard his heart was beating that moment. He remembered how he stopped walked, forcing Cloud to stop with him, and how he’d taken Cloud’s other hand in his and how beautiful Cloud’s smile was when he did that. He told Cloud that he knew it was corny, doing this on their graduation day, but he really couldn’t think of a better time. Cloud had asked, “A better time for what?” but instead of answering him Zack reminded him that they’d been dating for six years. Cloud had smiled and replied that he knew, they had just celebrated their anniversary. Zack told him that maybe it was time they had a new anniversary. Cloud’s eyebrows drew together in confusion, but before he could say anything Zack had already moved on, talking about how he was going to get a ring, but when he looked, all of them had seemed kind of girly, so he opted for an earring instead, because he knew Cloud liked them, and he hoped that was okay. Cloud started to say something like, “Zack, what are you talking about?” but the sentence was only halfway out when Zack dropped to one knee and Cloud’s voice died as his eyes widened in realization.
Zack told him how much he loved him and that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with him, and when he pulled a small black box out of his pocket (they were both still wearing the dress pants they’d been forced to wear under their gowns for the graduation ceremony), Cloud covered his mouth with both hands and started to cry. Zack opened the box to reveal the platinum (platinum because he thought Cloud looked best in silver jewelry, but the jeweler had promised him that platinum was better than silver, even though Zack thought they looked the same), diamond encrusted earring inside, and said the fated words, “Cloud, will you marry me?” and Cloud kept on crying as he nodded and said yes, yes of course he would, and Zack had stood and gingerly taken out Cloud’s current earring and replaced it with the new one before taking Cloud’s face in his hands and kissing him with as much love and passion as he was capable of.
They stayed in the backyard for a while, just kissing and holding each other, but eventually it started to get dark and they didn’t want anyone to worry so they headed back inside. Nobody seemed to notice they were gone (except maybe Aerith, whose eyes seemed to dart to Cloud’s ear like a magnet) and it wasn’t too long afterwards that everyone cleared out. That night Cloud met Zack halfway on the way to his house, carrying a few blankets, and suggested that they go to their clearing in the woods instead so they wouldn’t have to worry about being quiet. Zack had grinned and told him that was a fantastic idea. And it was.
They made love four times that night. They rested a bit in-between, and they talked during those moments. They decided to tell their families the next morning, and if they didn’t freak out too badly, they’d go ahead and tell the girls in the afternoon. They agreed that they didn’t want a fancy wedding, the courthouse would do, and they both wanted to get married before the summer was over, maybe the beginning of August. They were too exhausted to discuss much more than that, and they only slept a couple of hours before they put their clothes back on and trudged back to their respective homes, limbs heavy and hearts light.
They both ended up sleeping till after noon, ruining their initial plans, but they didn’t let it faze them. Cloud told his mom that Zack and he had something important to say, and brought her over to the Fair house, where Zack’s parents and Angeal were already sitting on the couch waiting. Ms. Strife sat down next to Mrs. Fair, and Zack and Cloud squeezed into the chair across from them all. There was a moment of awkward silence before Mr. Fair asked his son what all of this was about. They both fidgeted and Zack quietly told them that they’d been keeping a secret from them, for a very long time now.
Angeal raised an eyebrow while the parents exchanged glances. Ms. Strife cleared her throat and prompted, “What kind of secret, sweetie?” and Cloud immediately blurted out that they were gay. Nobody said anything for several seconds and Zack, unable to handle the silence any longer, blurted out that they had been dating each other for six years. Their parents kept on staring, Mrs. Fair’s mouth would occasionally open and close without sound, and Angeal looked like he was actually thinking about what they were saying, instead of just staring mindlessly. Zack and Cloud gave each other a nervous glance before Cloud all but whispered that they were engaged to be married. All eyes immediately fell to his hand, then Zack’s, (Zack remembered thinking it was kind of creepy, how in unison they were) until Cloud coughed and pushed his hair behind his ear (not that doing that ever did anything; Cloud’s hair was like a force of nature), drawing all attention to the glistening metal there.
And suddenly Cloud and Zack couldn’t seem to stop talking, putting their “finish-each-other’s-sentences” skill to use and babbling about why they didn’t tell them before, and that they didn’t want them to think they hadn’t trusted them, and they loved them all, and they hoped they could understand. They babbled on in this manner for several minutes (several minutes that felt like several hours) before Angeal held up a hand and they both clamped their mouths shut almost instantaneously. Then Angeal stood up and walked over to Zack before smiling and bending down to hug him and congratulate him, wishing him happiness. Zack didn’t respond, couldn’t respond. He just sat there gaping at his brother like he’d grown an extra head (or two). Cloud was in a similar state when Angeal crossed to him and shook his hand (it was a one-sided shake, because Cloud’s arm suddenly seemed to have all the consistency of jello), welcoming him to the family and asking him to take good care of his little brother. Cloud breathed out a small, “Thanks. I will,” while numbly nodding his head. He gave Zack a pat on the shoulder before going upstairs, giving his parents and Ms. Strife some privacy to talk to their children.
It had been an awkward conversation, and their parents didn’t seem to know what they really thought about it all. They were angry that they hadn’t told them sooner, but they assured them that they didn’t mind the fact that they were gay and eventually they started to loosen up. Ms. Strife jokingly mentioned to Mr. and Mrs. Fair that their son sure did have fine tastes in men, and both moms gushed a little over Cloud’s earring, while Mr. Fair wanted to know when they planned on getting married. By the end of the discussion both boys felt more relieved then they could ever remember feeling in their entire lives.
They were feeling great when they called Aerith and Tifa, asking them if they had some free time because they had some important news to tell them, and no Tifa, they couldn’t just tell them over the phone. Aerith suggested they meet at her house, because she’d made cookies, and Zack and Cloud agreed that was fine then relayed the message to Tifa. A few minutes later they were over Aerith’s house, asking the girls to sit down, then telling them what they’d just finished telling their parents (albeit, they did it in a much calmer manner this time around). Aerith had jumped up with a squeal and hugged them both, grabbing Cloud’s head and twisting it every which way so she could see his earring from different angles. Tifa stayed on the couch. Perfectly still, perfectly silent.
Zack noticed her lack of response immediately, and Cloud and Aerith noticed after about half a minute of Aerith’s fawning. Aerith put a hand on her shoulder and quietly asked if she was okay, and then Tifa started laughing. She told Aerith to stop being stupid (Aerith flinched at that. Zack was certain it was the first time Tifa had ever called her stupid.) and that Zack and Cloud were obviously joking. They were always flirting at school as a joke, and this was just an extension of that. The more they tried to convince her the more she denied it, until eventually she was on her feet, screaming and yelling until she was red in the face.
Mrs. Gainsborough ran into the room to see what the commotion was and Tifa stopped yelling. Aerith told her mom everything was fine, and she should go back into the other room. She did, hesitantly, and the four of them were left standing there awkwardly. Cloud had his gaze fixed to the floor, but he had to have felt Tifa’s eyes on him, burning a hole into his skull. After what seemed like an eternity he finally looked up and locked eyes with her, and Tifa’s lip started to tremble and her shoulders started to shake, and then she was sobbing and running out of the house as fast as her legs could take her. Aerith told them there was nothing they could have done differently, and they just had to give her time, she’d come around. That didn’t stop them from feeling awful.
After that Tifa seemed to become a forbidden subject. Zack pretended that he didn’t notice when they were walking past her house and she came out, noticed them, and promptly went back inside. He knew Cloud was pretending not to notice either, the same way he knew they were both pretending they didn’t feel like their hearts were in a steel vice every time something like that happened. They got better at ignoring incidents like that, because they were so unbelievably happy. For the first time ever, Zack could walk around town with his arm around Cloud’s waist, or holding his hand. He remembered one time they were walking in the park and he had looked down at Cloud and was overcome by how cute his fiancé was (this was a revelation he went through at least once a day), and he bent down and gave him a chaste kiss, and they’d received some of the nastiest looks Zack had ever seen on a human face, and he was delighted to find that he really didn’t give a shit what they thought.
They got married in August in the courthouse, like they’d planned. Tifa didn’t come. After the ceremony Cloud had rested his head of Zack’s shoulder and told him that he had a confession to make. When Zack asked him what that was, Cloud told him that he didn’t actually agree with one part of their vows. Zack had grinned and kissed the top of his head, remarking, “Me too. The death due you part thing, right?” Cloud had nodded and they promised that if the other were to die, even if it happened tomorrow or an hour from now, they would still be faithful for the rest of their lives, because one day they would be in the Lifestream together and they didn’t need some stinky third person there with them, messing everything up.
They went to Costa Del Sol for their honeymoon, even though the trip to the Western continent was crazy expensive (their hotel was too, as a matter of fact). Their stay there was almost revolutionary. At least a third of everyone there seemed to be a couple, and everyone was so absorbed in their partners that no one gave them a second thought. And if they did get noticed, it was usually by girls who would coo or giggle at them as they chased each other down the beach, and one girl had even told them they were a cute couple. Her boyfriend (so Zack presumed) was with her and while he didn’t voice his agreement, he still grinned at them and said, “See ya,” as they left. As a couple, Zack and Cloud had never felt quite as socially accepted as they did in that moment. That was probably when they realized that some towns might be more accepting of homosexuality than others and they started considering building their lives outside of Kalm.
College came before home building though. A good portion of their senior year had been dedicated to finding the perfect university for the both of them (they decided on Junon University) and even before they were engaged they had taken a weekend to drive out and ensure they got a dorm together. When they came home from their honeymoon they only spent a couple of weeks in Kalm before they were packing their bags again and taking the train to Junon. Their first order of business was finding jobs. They applied to all the same businesses, but weren’t lucky enough to get calls from any of the same places as the other did. Cloud ended up in a flower shop (The florist had been crazy impressed with Cloud’s knowledge of flowers. Again, Zack blamed Aerith, who incidentally also found work as a florist in Midgar.) and Zack found himself working at a coffee shop. Even though Cloud liked flowers and Zack liked coffee, the jobs still kind of sucked, but it got them through college and that was what mattered.
Junon University seemed pretty split on the homosexuality issue. Overall it was pretty okay. They didn’t exactly go around campus flaunting their relationship, but of course everyone they ever shared a class with eventually realized they were married. Most didn’t care, some stopped talking to them when they found out, and others treated them like they were the coolest thing ever. They kept to themselves for the most part, though they did make a handful of close friends (their dorm neighbors Reno and Rude were two of the coolest people either of them had ever met) and they even met other gay people, which was a new experience for them.
One of the biggest bummers of going away to college (at least for them) was losing all their special, romantic date-sites. Their first summer home from college (they came to an agreement with their parents that they would alternate which house they stayed in each summer), they decided to go for a picnic in their old clearing in the woods. Cloud had suggested it, and Zack could remember the way his words started tapering off after “picnic” and he was sure the growing look of horror on Cloud’s face was mirrored on his own as they both realized the same thing. They’d left their basket and blanket in the woods. All year long.
Their beloved one gil basket and one gil blanket were trashed, destroyed, murdered by mother nature. Zack almost cried when he saw the basket, still in the bush they’d so carelessly left it in, but now torn and crippled. Cloud had hesitantly opened the top, checking to see if their blanket was alive, and a mouse scurried out (And Cloud shrieked and clung to him. It was definitely not the other way around, because Zackary Fair was not afraid of mice. No siree. Absolutely not. No.). It was with heavy hearts that they brought the basket home to throw in the trash (And Zack didn’t make Cloud carry it, Cloud insisted! And even if there was a chance that there was another rodent inside, it wasn’t like Zack cared. Pssht.) Zack’s parents had a cooler and they ended up using that instead (Cloud had pouted and complained that a cooler was very uncute, and Zack thought that was cute enough to make up for the cooler’s lack). That summer they agreed that when they got their own place, their first order of business would be to get a new basket.
While they missed their old date spots while in Junon, it was fun looking for new ones and they particularly liked going to the harbor (they decided seaside living had a certain special allure while in Costa Del Sol). Their favorite spot, though it might have seemed strange to others, was an old abandoned warehouse. Whenever they had the time, they would break in and climb to the roof of the flimsy old building (it was only a few years after they’d graduated that Zack actually looked back and realized that all those times they might’ve been in potential danger) to watch the sunset together. Zack and Cloud were both county boys at heart, growing up in such a quiet town as Kalm, and when they were atop that warehouse, with nothing but each other and the sun, they could let themselves forget about the industry around them.
Whenever they had a semi-long break from school (Major holidays excluded. They went home for those.), they traveled. They wanted to visit as many places as they could to try to get a feel of the area, in the hopes of finding the perfect place to move to when they graduated. It took them almost three years to find the perfect place, but eventually they fell in love with the town of Mideel. They discussed their plans with their parents, who weren’t too keen on the idea of their sons living on a different continent. Zack couldn’t count the number of times his mother reminded him that Angeal was planning on staying in Kalm after he got his degree (Angeal was going to be a doctor, which meant he was going to be in school a loooooooong time) and she hadn’t been exactly pleased when Zack’s reply was, “That’s great! That means we can visit both of you at the same time!”
For as long as Zack could remember, Cloud liked to write. When they were younger (and occasionally when they were older) he often did Zack’s English homework for him (which was okay, because Zack did Cloud’s math), so Zack hadn’t been surprised when Cloud told him sometime during highschool that he wanted to go to college for journalism. Zack knew he didn’t really want to be a journalist, he wanted to be a novelist, but Cloud explained that he didn’t need a degree to be a novelist and journalism would be something good to fall back on. Zack had agreed and that was that. He didn’t really expect Cloud to start writing his first novel when they were still in college, but he did (Are you crazy babe? You just wrote like, six essays!). He did expect it to get published and sell more copies in a week than Loveless did in all of its booky existence.
He was only half wrong. It was impossible to sell more copies of anything than Loveless, because it had been out for forever and it was a classic, even though nobody actually liked it (except Angeal’s weird friend that Zack didn’t like talking to anyway). His book did get published though (the name CLOUD FAIR stood out on the cover in shiny gold letters, and Zack loved looking at it because he could never really get over the fact that the greatest man in the world was married to him and had taken his last name), and it did sell fairly well. Well enough that they were able to put a down payment on a house (Zack’s parents still had to help them out a little bit with the finances), which they did before they had even graduated.
Even after they’d gone away to college, Zack had never really thought that he’d taken his house for granted. But when they walked into their home (their home!) he couldn’t help but feel like he’d never realized what amazing things houses really were. They didn’t have much stuff, which Zack was a little grateful for because he wasn’t too sure how moving vans felt about crossing continents. It did make the actual settling in part a little slow though. Thankfully, kitchen and laundry appliances came with the house, but the first two nights they had to sleep on the floor, because they didn’t have a bed yet, and it took them about a month to decide on all the furniture for their living room. Before they bought anything for the house though, they went up to one of the town shops and bought a picnic basket, and a blanket.
It didn’t take them too long to settle in, overall. Zack secured a job at the school (it was a middle and high school, all rolled into one) as a gym teacher (What could he say? Mr. Highwind had been an inspiration.) and Cloud was already laying the groundwork for the sequel to his first novel. Mideel was great, and they loved it more than they could say. They loved that the ocean was only a 15 minute walk from their house, and they loved having woods as a backyard, because it kind of reminded them of their childhood. They loved the shabby old boardwalk that went above the town’s entrance, and the windmill that stood a little off from the center of town. They loved the people too.
Mideel’s community was one of the nicest either of them had ever experienced. After they decided on a house, they immediately made an effort to get to know their neighbors. On their left lived a couple about their parents’ ages. Their names were Lucretia and Vincent Valentine and, though they were a little quiet, they were nice enough. After they moved in, they learned that the Valentines’ son had gone to the same college as Angeal and the two were actually really good friends. (Small world, right?) To their right lived a single man named Barrett Wallace with his adopted daughter, Marlene. Barrett was a little rough around the edges, but he was a good guy and they liked and respected him (Not to mention his daughter was just the cutest little thing ever!).
The rest of the town was nice too. At first they had been treated like a bit of a novelty (apparently they were the first gay couple to live in Mideel in quite some time, and everyone seemed to think they were cute). Cloud had been a little miffed when the town housewives tried to include him in their circle, mainly because the town husbands tried to include Zack in their’s. He ranted for about a week that just because he was shorter, and a little less muscular, and he liked poetry and literature, did not mean he was the girl in their relationship. Eventually he calmed down and agreed to give the ladies lessons in cooking and flower arranging, because really, they were all hopeless.
Zack never thought an event could come along that would be more important than the ones they’d already been though. After all, was it even possible to top marrying Cloud? Apparently it was, because the biggest event of their lives happened when they were 26. It was during the summer and Zack and Cloud had actually been planning to leave in about two weeks to go visit their parents when it happened. As soon as they stepped outside they knew something was up. You could always tell when something exciting happened in a town like Mideel. It took them all of two minutes to find someone willing to share the story. A child had washed up on the shore in the middle of the night, presumably a survivor from a shipwreck, and was being treated at the town’s medical center. At the time they had felt bad for the kid, but they didn’t feel like it involved them personally so they didn’t think too deeply about the whole situation.
News about the boy’s condition was spread so thoroughly that the two of them couldn’t help but hear everything. His name was Denzel, he was seven years old, he was from Midgar, he had been on a ship that had crashed during a storm, they were sure he was the only survivor and he didn’t seem to have any relatives, he was very intelligent, but quiet, which was natural, given his situation. They received a lot of their information on the boy from the doctor himself, which was kind of odd, but the doctor liked them so they blew it off as the old man feeling gossipy. They started getting suspicious when Dr. Bugenhagen started lamenting how sad it was, and if only there was a nice couple out there that wanted a child, but perhaps were unable to, and how nice it would be if a couple like that would come along and adopt poor, sweet, adorable, well-mannered Denzel.
They said no. A thousand times they must have said no. But Dr. Bugenhagen had been persistent to the point that Zack swore he was hearing his little “Hohohos” in his sleep, and eventually he convinced them to visit Denzel before they made up their minds completely. So they did, and it was love at first sight. They called their parents and cancelled, telling them something urgent had come up, and started spending time with Denzel. Suddenly adoption seemed like the only logical explanation, but they wanted Denzel to get to know them first, because it was only fair that he got a say in the matter. They spend about a month and a half with him, and while they were sure Denzel didn’t love them as deeply as they did him (the sting of losing his real parents was still fresh, after all), he did like them well enough and they started to draw up the adoption papers.
They had a little less than half the summer left, so they asked Denzel if he wanted to go meet the rest of his family. He had shrugged, which was a very usual answer for him during that time, so they decided to visit their parents first, then go see Aerith afterwards. So they called their parents to let them know they were coming, and that they had a big surprise for them. They took a plane to the Eastern continent (Denzel wasn’t too keen on that, but he agreed that it would be better than taking a boat. They thought it was cute how brave he tried to be at first, but as soon as they took off he grabbed hold of Cloud’s arm and didn’t let go until they landed.) and then took a train from the airport to Kalm (Denzel didn’t have a problem with trains).
Zack would never forget the look on their parents’ faces when they introduced them to their new grandson. Mr. and Mrs. Fair already had three grandchildren from Angeal, but Denzel was Ms. Strife’s first, and they suspected she hadn’t really expected to have any at all. They could tell immediately that their son (Their son! Their precious, beautiful, gorgeous son!) was going to be spoiled rotten by his grandparents. True to his word, Angeal had moved back to Kalm with his family. Denzel seemed a little overwhelmed, suddenly finding himself with not only two new dads, but new grandparents, an aunt and uncle, and three cousins, but he got along well with everyone and in the few weeks they spend in Kalm they couldn’t help but notice how Denzel started to talk a little more, and smile more often. He started to hug his parents more often and hold their hands without them initiating it, and they’d been delighted when he’d complained about leaving because that meant he really liked being with his family and Zack and Cloud both thought family was incredibly important.
Eventually they convinced him that they had to leave, because they wanted to take him to visit his Aunt Aerith before the summer was over. They called her prior to tell her the good news, and make plans to come visit. Before the word “adoption” was fully out of Zack’s mouth, Aerith had squealed shrilly through the phone and started bombarding him with questions (Zack would swear for the rest of his life that he’d lost part of his hearing in his right ear that day.). After graduating from Midgar University, Aerith had decided to stay in the city (Zack and Cloud had been shocked, as they’d always expected Aerith to move somewhere picturesque, with flower fields and babbling brooks and the like) and she’d opened up her own flower shop, which she lived on the top story of.
They were a little uncertain how Denzel would react, returning to his home city, but he seemed happy enough with the familiar sights. Occasionally he would fall into a thoughtful silence, and they would leave him be, figuring he was thinking about his parents. More than he loved being back in Midgar, Denzel loved Aerith. He took to her immediately, which Zack and Cloud weren’t too surprised at, since Aerith was a creature who was loved by all. Sometimes they thought that part of the reason Denzel seemed so fond of Aerith was because like him, she wasn’t related to either of them by blood or marriage, and yet they still called her family. Either that or they were looking too deeply into it and the two had just naturally bonded. Either way Denzel would get crazy excited whenever they went to visit Aunt Aerith, and that was all that really mattered.
When they finally returned to Mideel (they had asked the Valentine’s to check in on their house every now and then), they immediately went about enrolling Denzel in school. The first day of school little Marlene had come knocking on their door, politely asking if it was okay if Denzel walked to school with her. Cloud told her that of course it was (Zack had already left, because Denzel had insisted that he didn’t need him to walk him to school, even though the middle/high school was right across the street from the elementary school), and lightly pushed Denzel out the door. After that day the two of them seemed to become best friends almost instantly, and Cloud and Zack couldn’t help but feel a little nostalgic watching them, because they kind of reminded them of themselves when they were that age. (Especially when Marlene started kissing Denzel on the cheek to say goodbye. The first time it happened Zack could remember sharing a look with Cloud and asking, “When do you think we should talk to him?” and Cloud had responded, “Before he’s 14,” because while they did think of themselves as good role models, they didn’t want Denzel following in their every footstep.)
The years seem to fly by, and Denzel was growing up so fast. It took him a little less than a year to start calling them “dad” (Sometimes he called Zack “pops,” just like Zack called his dad, to differentiate between the two). When he was nine they took him to the Gold Saucer (Cloud got picked as a “lucky” member of the audience that got to be a Chocobo jockey for the day. Zack and Denzel teased him about it terribly.) and when he was ten they went to the Northern continent to stay at the famous Icicle Inn and try their hand at snow boarding. They visited their families in Kalm every summer, and they visited Aerith every year during Denzel’s spring break. Most people probably thought they were a far cry from a perfect family, but they felt like they were, and as far as they were concerned, they were the happiest people in the world.
The Geostigma epidemic started when they were about 30. Denzel was 11, and they hadn’t really worried too much because Mideel was such a secluded place. In fact they had been mostly worried for Aerith, because she lived in Midgar, where the outbreaks were the most frequent. Zack’s heart still clenched when he thought about the first time Denzel had pulled down the collar of his shirt to show them a bruise on his collarbone that he didn’t remember getting and that wouldn’t go away. They took him to Dr. Bugenhagen immediately, but all he could tell them was that it was Geostigma, it was caused by a rare blood disorder and wasn’t contagious, and as of that moment, there was no cure.
They were scared, but they clung to the hope that a city doctor would know more about it. After all, Denzel was the only person in Mideel with the disease. Why would Dr. Bugenhagen know anything about it? So they took him to Midgar. The doctors told them the same thing. Sorry about your luck, but there’s nothing we can do. Spend as much time with your son as you can and pay your bill with the secretary. They refused to give up though, so their next course of action was to consult Angeal, since he was the best doctor either of them knew.
Angeal did everything he could to find a cure. He stayed up all hours of the night, for days at a time, doing all that he could. Zack couldn’t bring himself to feel guilty about the stress he was putting his brother through, because his son was dying and that was all that mattered. They stayed in Kalm, moving in with Zack’s parents since they had two empty rooms, so they could be close to Angeal. Months passed. Barrett brought Marlene to come visit on Denzel’s 12th birthday and it broke everyone’s hearts to watch the two of them. Marlene brought him a bouquet of flowers that he kept next to his bed. Even after they wilted and died he kept them, and made sure they had fresh water. When he couldn’t get out of bed anymore, Cloud changed the water for him.
Some people might say that losing an adopted child wasn’t as hard as losing a birth child, but Zack didn’t see how that was possible. Of all his memories, the day Denzel died would always remain the clearest. Sometimes, when he woke up in the middle of the night, he thought he could still hear Cloud crying and feel Denzel’s hand in his, so much smaller and so unbelievable cold. And sometimes he would wake up with tears dried on his cheeks, and he’d look down and see that Cloud had been crying too and he’d wonder if maybe they’d had the same dream.
They buried Denzel in Mideel. The bruises never reached his face, and the suit they had him in covered up all of them except the ones on his hands. Just looking at his face, Zack remembered thinking how easy it seemed, to believe he wasn’t dead. That he would just open his eyes, smile, and admit the whole thing was a bad joke. Look Pops, it was just paint! All this time! Man did I fool you! Of course that didn’t happen though. Denzel was dead, and there was no changing that fact, no matter how much he and Cloud cried and wished it weren’t true.
Their friends and families came to the funeral, of course, and it meant a lot to them, but nothing meant more to them than when Tifa walked into the room. She’d come as soon as she heard (Aerith had called her), and she’d cried when she saw them, hugging them both and apologizing for everything she had done, for being a terrible friend, and for not being there when they needed her most. They forgave her instantly, telling her they had never really been mad, and it was their fault too because they shouldn’t have lied. She paid her respects and as she looked down on Denzel, Zack could tell she was wishing she could have been part of his life. He wished so too. She turned to look at them, tears shining in her eyes, and told them their son was beautiful. They agreed.
They didn’t get as much time to grieve as they should have. Denzel hadn’t even been dead a full year when Zack noticed the small black mark on Cloud’s shoulder blade. They skipped the other doctors and went straight to Angeal this time, because they knew he had already done so much research and Cloud obviously hadn’t had Geostigma long. Zack had pulled his brother aside and demanded answers. How could Cloud just now be showing symptoms? If it was a blood disorder, why was he just getting sick now? He screamed at him until his voice was hoarse, even though he knew Angeal was doing his best, and he let his brother hold him as his knees gave out and his yells quieted into sobs.
Angeal promised to do his best, but they all knew there was nothing he could do, so Zack took Cloud back to Mideel, so he could at least be in the comfort of his own home. The others came to visit often, and it was kinda nice having Tifa around again. It was difficult (and expensive) for everyone to keep visiting though (Tifa lived in Nibelheim, which was quite a ways away), so for the most part it was just the two of them. Barrett and Marlene visited them every day, and Marlene always gave Cloud a flower when she came. Zack couldn’t help himself from thinking how sad it was, for such a sweet young girl to be surrounded by so much sadness. Sometimes he thought about what would have happened had Denzel lived. Like if they would have gotten married, and Barrett and them would have been family. He tried not to though. He knew if he started living in a world of “what ifs” it would only be a matter of time before he went mad.
The disease spread slower with Cloud than it did with Denzel (Angeal had said it would, because Cloud’s immune system was more developed), but it was still horrifying to watch as each day Cloud’s shoulder, and then his arm, became more and more encased in black. Near the end he started suffering violent fevers, during which he would often talk nonsense. One night, when Cloud was doing fairly good, Zack had taken his half black hand and kissed the back. Cloud had tried to pull away, softly telling him that he didn’t have to pretend his skin wasn’t disgusting. Zack didn’t let go, and placed a trail of gentle kisses up Cloud’s arm and to his shoulder. When he pulled back and told Cloud he didn’t know what he was talking about, Cloud had started crying and Zack held him through the night.
The fevers got worse and worse, and occasionally he would suffer from seizures as well. If Zack had anything at all to be grateful for, it was that Denzel had died before his Geostigma had gotten that bad. Watching Cloud go through it all was enough. One night, during a rare moment of lucidity, Cloud told Zack he was dying. He reached up to cup Zack’s cheek and wipe the tears there away, before asking him if he would make love to him, one last time. Zack agreed. They went slow, since Cloud was so weak, but that was okay because they weren’t really doing it for pleasure anyway. They just wanted to be close, as close as they could, and Zack put all his effort into memorizing every inch of Cloud’s body. He wanted to imprint Cloud’s touch on his skin, keep the taste of him on his tongue, and keep the sound of his voice in his ears forever.
Cloud died a few days later, at the age of 33. Zack buried him next to Denzel. His parents tried to get him to move back to Kalm, but he refused, even though his house did suddenly seem too large, and he didn’t want much of anything to do with the other residents of Mideel. Cloud had been in the middle of writing a five-part series when he’d died, leaving the last novel unfinished. Cloud had already told him how it ended, and he had all of his notes. Even though Zack hated writing, he knew if anyone could imitate Cloud’s style it would have to be him, because no one else knew how Cloud’s mind worked the way he did. So he started writing Cloud’s last book for him, as a way to pass the time. He told himself he wasn’t just waiting to get Geostigma.
He had to rewrite it more times than he could count, but eventually his writing improved enough that the book could reasonably pass for Cloud’s work. He had it published, and both of their names were put on the cover, and the editor wrote some little introduction piece explaining what had happened to the original author. He’d asked Zack to write it first, but he didn’t want to. The book took five years to write, and Zack remembered how devastated he’d been when it was finally released to the public and the realization that five years had passed and he was still alive had hit him like a brick. He knew in that moment that he was lying to himself when he said he wasn’t waiting for Geostigma.
Geostigma never entered Zack’s life again though. Even if it did, it really didn’t matter because a cure had been developed for it when he was 35, two years after Cloud’s death. He did his best to live his life, even though he didn’t want to, because he knew Cloud would want it that way. But he knew Cloud and Denzel were waiting in the Lifestream for him and that made it hard. It crossed his mind a few times that Denzel’s real parents were also in the Lifestream, and sometimes he wondered if that would be a problem. He really didn’t want to go to court for custody rights after he was dead, after all. Assuming there were courts in the Lifestream, of course.
Three days ago Zack had gone to Midgar to visit Aerith. She asked him to go out for eggs and chocolate chips (with the promise of cookies when he returned) and that was the last thing he really remembered. He knew he made it to the store, because there was a chocolate chip lying next to him on the asphalt. He was pretty sure he’d been hit by that big ol’ ugly truck a few yards away, because it was stopped at a weird angle while the rest of the cars were fairly straight. It bugged him a little that he couldn’t remember getting hit, but he was almost certain it hadn’t been suicide, because he’d REALLY wanted those cookies.
As Zack laid there in a puddle of his own blood, he thought about what people said about your life flashing before your eyes when you died. He supposed they were telling the truth, but he kind of wondered how they knew about it. Obviously none of them had ever died and he sure wasn’t feeling up to letting all the frantic people hovering about him know that he’d just relived his entire life in a moment (He assumed it was a moment. It was really difficult to tell how long he’d been lying in the road. He was in the city, after all.). He could faintly hear the sirens in the background, but he didn’t pay them much mind. They were too late, and he knew it.
And that was okay. He was 39, he’d had a great life, and he was ready to die. There was nothing left for him in this world. Sure his folks would be sad, but they had Angeal. And Angeal would be sad, but he had his family. Aerith and Tifa both had their own families, not to mention each other. Life in Mideel would go on without him; Marlene had grown up to be a kind, beautiful young woman. She actually reminded him of Aerith at that age, in a lot of ways.
He shut his eyes when the rain started to fall, and it crossed his mind that it wasn’t really fair. It was sunny out when Denzel and Cloud died, so how come he got the depressing death weather? But then he thought, maybe it wasn’t rain at all. Maybe Cloud was out there somewhere crying, and these were his tears. The idea made him smile, and his smile stayed in place even as all life left his body.
“Don’t cry babe. I’ll see you soon.”
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