Glass Heart ( Let my heart be heard)
"Urgh" i fell to the ground on the sidelines, i was looking over to the boy who fortunately go unscathed. I crawled over to him and comforted him. I slowly gained back my strength but my heart was racing fast, i was afraid and at the same time, glad that the boy is okay. His mum hugged him and thanked me many times but i just smiled and went over to Emiline. Heven was speechless and Sophia just brushed off her surprise. I however, was too tired to acknowledge all the aftermath because it is afterall over and just a simple save. In the moment of relief, a guy called out my name. "Hei Felana!" I looked back and saw a guy somewhat familiar, he is with the boy i saved just now. "Must be his father or something." I thought and smiled at him back as kindly as possible but then again, i thought to myself "he is far too young to be his father". I just saw his mother across the street called "Lavender Street". " Hei" i came over and patted on the boy's head, I looked up to the guy who called me.
I looked at him wondering but he shrugged and was nudged by the boy. "Nudged?" i wondered and i was about to turn back to Emiline when the boy held me back. I was a little annoyed because i was drained out and my heart hasn't accustomed to the situation yet but i leaned over to him and he was smiling slightly . He pointed over to the guy and i looked at him again. "Sorry , he can't speak much so basically being with him is a must, i'm his brother " he extended his hand and i shook hands with him. I smiled casually with him and i sort of shrugged off for no reason. The boy then just pulled me over and crossed the street like nothing happened .Before i knew it, i was in his house , sitting on their spongy sofa seat. I tried to recall my logical thinking but i guessed my mind wasn't functioning as well.I sat on sofa properly but i always sank back in. I looked around the house and it reminded me of my old house nostagically.It has the homely smell of varnish and homemade food. Now Emiline is my precious home and "Decored springs" cupboards are all i have and appreciated them very much. I sighed heavily as i was reminded of Sophia, i couldn't understand what she wanted from me. I looked down to the boy's cat sitting on my lap comfortably, I stroke it calmly until it fell asleep. The boy who sat beside me leaned on me asleep. I guess all the things happening around him must be rather chaotic at times. I smiled and sort of stuck at the situation where the guy hardly speak a word and the parents stared at me in a weird manner. I noticed the cat is rather cute although it is bigger than Heaven because of its pure breed's nature of Wedgies or Norwegian forest cat. I like the way it looked when it slept on my lap and i took its picture quietly, the guy then came over to carry his little brother to his room.
Shortly after, his mum brought a bowl of simple spaghetti to me. I thanked her and slurped down slowly with much effort to eat cleanly. A while later, I felt a little full and i slowly put down the bowl on the table across me so as to not wake the cat up. " You like cats huh?" the guy asked and i nodded gently. He came over and sat beside him but i was wondering how old is he because he looked adult to me. "I'm Gragen" he said while i well, needless to say as he knew my name. "How did you know my name, anyway?" i asked him back. So he explained to me casually that Emiline used to be a house belong to them before he moved across the street. he reason bcause he could just stay with his parents. So before this, Sophia stayed for a while with Heven , i thought it out myself. "I'm 24 years old so people don't really get to know me because i am pretty much with my parents. I have a disorder so i have to be taken care by my parents too". I looked him and stared at him hard when his mother suddenly covered his eyes. I looked at her shocked, a little speechless and she sort of not very relieved by it. " Why she did that?" i asked him and he just got off, ignoring me completely. I was annoyed by his behaviour and a little offended by it too. I reall wanted to slam a door to his face and his sudden movement shook the cat and it ran off somewhere at the corner. I stood up , brushing my fluffy skirt angrily and they all are slightly surprised by my actions. I took my tote bag, my hairpin and was about to go out when the boy wide awake holding me back again. I looked at him surprised, he made me sat down again ( why do i always listen to him) but this time , he slept on my lap . I just smiled at him gently because i have no idea how to deal with kids and patted on his head while i read a book i bought for my new story.
Gragen just looked at me apologetically and i just ignored his sudden moodswing. He sat closer to me slowly and i just continued reading the book . I was wondering deeply of his disorder, I don't understand what disorder he had and i could not pinpoint any of those i know of. Like eating disorders, he looks fine by me. His mother just sat across us and observing me i think but at the same time looking towards Gragen. I was curious about what Gragen is doing when I peeked at the side. It happen in seconds that our eyes just seem to meet each other.For a moment i felt as if time stops. I could see his eyes are of hazelnut brown, his dyed hair of dark blue and skin that is as fair as the light pink of happiness. I observed his body when his shoulders are a little broader than me and his height happened to match mine when we sat together. I wanted to know so badly what is underneath his blue hoody, but i managed to tame my temptations as i was brought back to reality. I wondered what is wrong with me because i just don't seem to remember Heven as my love of my life. "Is he just my eyecandy?" i thought because i remembered crying for his lovelike a mad lady.
I must have made funny expressions because Adrian laughed at me and i laughed too. Adrian ( the boy) is an autistic boy but i must say he is a smart autistic one, he has lots of energy that made me green with envy. Adrian is hyperactive like most autistic kids are and he loved to dance weird dance moves. But he made my day as i just lost Heaven who is always making funny antics whenever i played with her. His mother is a little rough towards Adrian But i still could understand a little because having to educate an autistic requires time and effort . She looked like she needed a babysitter terribly and i do have a little experience with autistic kids since my cousin himself is an autistic boy. I came over to her with Adrian in tow,
"Do you need someone to take care of Adrian ?" i asked politely. She looked over to me and sat down with a sigh, she told me that Marley and her always busy with work and Gragen also working for most of his time so she was pretty worried that nobody taking care of Adrian.
Before this, she has to sent him over to a childcare centre which is rather costly for them. I just listened to her woes and took note of details that Adrian has.
I was careful of what he loves to eat and what he can't completely consumed in his lifetime. So i was rather sad for him because he can't enjoy sweet things like chocolates and ice cream. I however, confirmed that sherbet or smoothies would be no problem, so i was rather glad that there is at least something he can enjoy in his life. Adrian is like a replica of Gragen, his eye colour, his hair must be dyed together with his brother and his demeanour but he is happier and more mischievious as a child. He is rather sensible at times because he listened a lot more and rarely talked too. I observed him and realised that he loves to listen to stories , write one too. I planned my schedule carefully so that it fits to his needs and at the same time, allows me to cope my work before deadline. I called Mr Harold on the porch and i was rather glad that he allowed me to extend the deadline a little later. The next day, i was rather excited but i know it will not be easy as he is rather difficult to handle outside. However, he happened to be expecting, i extended my hand and he grabbed it with ease. We walked to his school and i made him a promise that i will make something he like if he behaved in school. He looked doubtful and i was guessing his parents must have broke a lot so i accompanied him in school. i observed his way of reacting and the way he eats, every moment i looked down to my paper and writing part of the stories, i felt a little feminine and responsible. I was then much determined to help Adrian's family as much as i can. I also realised that with Adrian in my life , i felt more occupied and happier because i don't need to worry about the adult's life and more. I felt restricting yet free, i looked up only to realise that Adrian was observing me. His teacher, Mrs Aleey was running towards him and was trying to bring him back to class but there is someting that kept Adrian standing in front of me." Is it because of my behaviour or is it the way i write the story?" , i wondered so i gestured over to Mrs Aleey and i held his hands gently. " I know you like stories and writing one so if you want i could teach you after school", i said as i gently tugged him to his class and he obediently listened to me.
I waited him to finish school and at the same time, my draft of my first chapter is completed as well. I was unsure of the quality of the period i should be able to polish my work and maybe get help from Adrian as i looked over to him. He is so different from most of the children whom i came in contact with. He is very much a fast learner than i expected but his behaviour categorised him as an autistic. I stared throught the fences of Adrian's school, in my mind memories whizzing by as if it is a media player on a computer. Memories of Avan for which once hurt me, slowly disappear but when it comes to Heven, it brought down a tear or so for it still hurt reminiscing them. I don't know whether i am in love with him or it is on or off effects. I don't know how to respond to my mixed feelings as i wished i could just erase the memories and start with a clean slate. I looked up to the light blue sky and saw Gragen's eyes and whatever i noticed in that very short moment when time froze. I wanted to fall in love again but just wasn't ready. I was now exhausted from all the dilemma and the drama caused by a mere girl who got caught with anyone i am with. Currently , in the last hour of Adrian's school, i spent my time reading the book the same one i used to avoid the eye contact of Gragen. I read the page but i couldn't seem to move away from it, i kept thinking of the yesterday's dreamy incident until Adrian tapped me on my shoulder. He looked at the book i was reading and tried to catch a peek of it.
I quickly brought him over to a bookshop well, I liked and hope he liked it too. He seems to be disinterested with the children's book and jumped straight to a more mature books, books that i read and bought. He seems a book titled "The Melody caught the Note" , i read it before, it is a good book . A completely safe book for him to read and so i bought a copy for him, i gave to him and he happily accepted it. The book cover newer and yet similar to my copy, has beautiful cover of like ancient romanian scrolls. Over at his house, i made him a strawberry blended and mine raspberry, I continued another part of my stories when he looked over and pointed to the book i just bought for him.
"Does he want me to read the book?" i wondered but he kept pointing the book and surprisingly seeing clean. I guess he knows the value of the book so i tried to read to him slowly. " There is a melody that yearns for a harmony, a melody that prayed to God that it will be heard by its love. For every sound it makes, it always hoping a note to come by soon. But it soon died down when it has lost hope. " I continued on and at the same time, it has a similar plot to what i am having. The life that i have which at times, poured down to losing hope and the strength to believe disappeared for every event that brought me down. I was clueless about what to do and yet the melody has a little more courage i do. Adrian looked over to me and pointed to a word, "dream" i looked at him and showed him a poem i wrote about dream. I let him read on his own and he looked to me smiling , he then, took the book and continued to read on his own. I cleaned up the smoothies and covered him with blanket. I finally sat down and stared at him , his sleepy look was cute and his cat, Marleya came onto my lap looking straight into me with his emerald blue eyes. It put its paw onto my shoulder like it was hugging me and i cried while hugging Marleya. I read the book before but i didn't realise the real meaning to it until Adrian probed me to. I stroke Marleya's fur until we both dozed off on the squishy couch.
I bet i was sleeping like a log because it took a while for Gragen to wake me up from my deep slumber. I yawned with Marleya and lazily opened my eyes. Adrian was still sleeping and hugging the book i bought him, i smiled at the sight of him and looked over to his mother. She was happier than yesterday,but i have a feeling of guilt because i was afraid i did something. She looked over to me and gestured gently over, i sat down with puff on the beanbag pillow and looked up to her. I was worried because i don't know if i have done differently from what she normally done. I was afraid until Adrian woke up running around showing everyone the book i bought for him. They looked over me and so i explained that i bought the book because he seems into it and able to understand its sultry of the language. They were amazed by the idea of it as they hardly knew Adrian is able to understand such complicated literature. I was not at all amused because Adrian is their son and should be more aware about his capabilities as compared to me, a complete stranger.
On the second day, i again accompanied him to school and as per usual, i sat over at the garden that allows me to keep an eye over Adrian.
I noticed that he loves music and the way he smiled at the music teacher, Mr Gabriel. Mr Gabriel called me over so that i could join in the fun . He asked what instruments i am capable of playing and i took violin out rightly from my violin bag, Adrian was amazed by the intricate nature of violin. Mr Gabriel was taken aback by the idea of allowing them the violin, i took each hands of the children and let them played with the strings and the feel the curvy sides of the violin. I then played the violin with much surprise to the children, i looked over to Adrian and he was crying. I stopped and rushed over to Adrian, he makes gestures that he really love the sound the violin made. I wiped his tears with a pink handkerchief that my mum gave to me when i was young. It was a nostalgic experience when i did it to Adrian, it was a feeling that i never felt before like comfort and warmth that my mum used to assure me with. Her soft hands and a gentle pat of her head makes me felt comforted enough to play for the rest of the day. Mr Gabriel just smiled to me , gently patted on my shoulders. he then brought to the benchseat over at the garden. He told me how much he love the children but he could never make Adrian smile as easily as the other children he taught. This was the first time, he saw Adrian's smile and cry , it was absolutely a different experience. I listened to him ,talked while i smiled over to Adrian. He just looked to me and walked away, i stood up in the middle of the conversation and excused myself to find Adrian. He pointed at the violin and played the action like mine , the children around him began to mock his gestures and he was saddened by them. I made a frown face over to them and they stopped as if they understood my gestures well. I picked up the violin and played a song called Allegretto, where he just listened to it quietly.
While i was playing the violin, i wondered what i am involving now. I lost focus for my life and my career may soon be gone once i lose interest but then again, i wonder what was my dream before i moved into this town alone.