carry on my wayward son, peace will come when you are done.
oy. friends. it seems as if they're being ripped away from me; one by one, one after another after another...and it sucks.
i'm tired of apologizing. i'm tired of being the bad guy. maybe i am the bad guy. i'm sorry i'm so blunt. i can't help but to be myself around other people. why would i be someone else? i'm not trying to pretend, so why does everybody else? i can never count on anyone but myself. and maybe God. maybe i'm a mean spirited person. so what. i try to be nice, but that won't prevent me from being stepped all over. and so what i tell it like i see it. wouldn't you want someone to be honest with you? i know i would. i wanna know if that shirt looks like shit on me. and if my hair is all jacked up. maybe i want to look jacked up. tell me! everyone's got someone who's got their back. me, i got my own. envy me. having your own back takes talent. and flexibility. ha.
so what's up with all this drama? call me a drama queen, i guess. i like being vague, but today i'll put that aside...i have lost faith in the people i call my friends. i've figured it out: everyone has their own agenda. and here i am, looking out for the well being of others...turns out i can count my real friends on one hand. it aint so bad. i feel so much aware now. more awake and alive than i've ever been. having too many "friends" can cloud a persons perspective. don't get me wrong, i feel pretty bad for myself. but i guarantee a good long night at the karaoke bar and some non-caffeinated starbucks/coffee bean will fix me right up. i can't help it if all my guy friends begin to hate me because i hurt the feelings of the ladies they've got their eyes on. i don't mean to hurt the feelings of others. i like being funny. and apparently i'm not that funny. oh well. i make myself laugh. and that's all that really counts. i must sound like such a bitch. ha ha.
oh sweet confusion, lay your hand on my shoulder and misguide me. tell me which way not to go and make me go two steps to the left, straight on till morning. well, if anyone is doing something next weekend, i'm wide open. i've been at barnes and noble for the past two weeks on my down time. i find entertainment in reading about people who have the crappiest lives. and sadly, it makes me feel better. i guess you could say i appreciate the things i go through, which seem so minute and irrelevant when in comparison to the weightier things that go on in this world.
now, i paint.
i'm tired of apologizing. i'm tired of being the bad guy. maybe i am the bad guy. i'm sorry i'm so blunt. i can't help but to be myself around other people. why would i be someone else? i'm not trying to pretend, so why does everybody else? i can never count on anyone but myself. and maybe God. maybe i'm a mean spirited person. so what. i try to be nice, but that won't prevent me from being stepped all over. and so what i tell it like i see it. wouldn't you want someone to be honest with you? i know i would. i wanna know if that shirt looks like shit on me. and if my hair is all jacked up. maybe i want to look jacked up. tell me! everyone's got someone who's got their back. me, i got my own. envy me. having your own back takes talent. and flexibility. ha.
so what's up with all this drama? call me a drama queen, i guess. i like being vague, but today i'll put that aside...i have lost faith in the people i call my friends. i've figured it out: everyone has their own agenda. and here i am, looking out for the well being of others...turns out i can count my real friends on one hand. it aint so bad. i feel so much aware now. more awake and alive than i've ever been. having too many "friends" can cloud a persons perspective. don't get me wrong, i feel pretty bad for myself. but i guarantee a good long night at the karaoke bar and some non-caffeinated starbucks/coffee bean will fix me right up. i can't help it if all my guy friends begin to hate me because i hurt the feelings of the ladies they've got their eyes on. i don't mean to hurt the feelings of others. i like being funny. and apparently i'm not that funny. oh well. i make myself laugh. and that's all that really counts. i must sound like such a bitch. ha ha.
oh sweet confusion, lay your hand on my shoulder and misguide me. tell me which way not to go and make me go two steps to the left, straight on till morning. well, if anyone is doing something next weekend, i'm wide open. i've been at barnes and noble for the past two weeks on my down time. i find entertainment in reading about people who have the crappiest lives. and sadly, it makes me feel better. i guess you could say i appreciate the things i go through, which seem so minute and irrelevant when in comparison to the weightier things that go on in this world.
now, i paint.