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F&E is very organic. No, Im not trying to state the obvious in relation to their products they sell. It’s the culture, the vibe, and how everyone interacts with each other. I don’t want to say hippie because they do work hard and get their shit done like there’s no tomorrow. But, everyone is very real and we have to talk a lot about feelings. A lot. I had my first “Catch up meeting, not to be confused with Ketchup.” This is how laid back everyone is. Meeting are more of a catch up time. It is something that can be scheduled weekly or it can be arranged on the fly when you walk by a person you haven’t touched base with in a while. I’ll hear people start off with, “hey, haven’t seen you in a while, want to go catch up?” Then they take their laptop and things they’ve both been working on and go have a meeting. I experienced one yesterday with Damon, the guy who made the training project and is hoping one day to pass full responsibility on to me. The meeting began with me getting asked, “how are you feeling today, whats on your mind, thoughts, concerns, stories you want to share from either work or home.” I shared my frustration about how I just finished my first full week at the office and I haven’t been able to get anything done due to outside barriers. I have gone on a lot of field trips basically and even though I enjoy that part, at the end of the week I don’t have anything real accomplished that I can show or be proud of. He was very happy to hear that. Not that I was frustrated, but that I shared a part of me that proves to be a good fit with the company. I forgot how he phrased it, but people there like to write next steps, or to-do lists, and at the end of the week or so, they have meetings to discuss what has been accomplished. For me to say going into my first weekly meeting that I felt uneasy without having anything to bring to the table, it let him know that I like to-do lists and being proud of when I get things checked off. He shared something personal about how he has been feeling off/under the weather the past two weeks. Then we took a deep breath to let it all go and began talking about work.
This Thursday our training project is being shown to the interns to gain feedback. It’ll be the first time to really show it to people in the office and find out what they liked/disliked, things they wish would be included and things that should be left out. This is like my adopted child. I wasn’t there from the very beginning to watch it be created and developed, but I am coming in now to take it to the next step and watch it continue to grow. I am a little nervous and excited to get the feedback. I haven’t been able to put much time into the project yet, but on Thursday from 9-12, Damon and I have a work session scheduled where will we just sit and crank everything out to make it ready for show time at 4. I walked away from my meeting with my next steps and a overall solid idea of what I can be working on while at my desk. I’ve had a lot of free time this past week as I waited for a computer, then had to wait for certain software to be put on my computer, that it feels good to have things settled.
The only thing I am still not settled in is lunch time. Everyone has that one weakness or fear that no one really understands, and this is mine. I am usually alone on my lunch break. I don’t bring my lunch because I have that nervous feeling of trying to find where to sit in the lunchroom. Its like high school again. People sit with their friends, their department, just cliques in general, and I haven’t found a group to eat with. I remember in high school on the first day of a new semester I would be so scared that I wouldn’t have any friends that have the same lunch period as I would. Then once I did find friends to eat with, I would be “too cool” to eat lunch. Most people would just talk and hang out during lunch. But also, I was uncomfortable bringing my lunch back then. I used to worry that what I brought wasn’t right. And if anyone has seen me eat something like a burrito or a big mac, its not very lady like. I make a mess like no other. The burrito breaks in half or I mysteriously lose the bottom bun on a cheeseburger. Ive always been self conscience eating around people. And it is still present today. Which is why I buy lunch every day and eat in my car. Part of me enjoys it actually. Im parking in a quiet area under a shady tree with my radio playing. Its nice to get away from people in the office and have my own time. But I know this is the important time where I need to be making friends. I know a girl in Rewards, but I never see her when I go on lunch. The other girl in Finance usually has had lunch already by the time I stop by her desk. I think I just need to plan things ahead of time.
Tuesday was a bit different. In fact, it is the way I hope it would usually be. For the 4th of July, we had a potluck in the cafeteria. I didn’t bring anything and neither did my Rewards buddy. So she came by my desk early in the day to see if I wanted to join her on lunch to avoid the potluck thing. Then later on, the people in my row invited me to come with them to the potluck. One girl made cornbread and really wanted everyone to try it. A lot of us didn’t bring anything and felt uncomfortable eating the food when we didn’t participate. But, we still all went. I grabbed a small plate and picked up a few things to try, then joined my table. Damon was there, my manager Valerie, the girl I share a desk with Kamaria, and then the girl Im working on another project with is the one who made the cornbread (Noel). It was good to sit and chat with everyone outside of work stuff. At the end, I went to meet Teneka in Rewards and we went to lunch.
Teneka is pretty cool. She always jokes about how she has a black name, yet she is half Chinese half white. We used to carpool together but then schedules started to change and we were needed to be in the office at different times. I was worried when it was my time to drive us since I am a radio nazi, even more so now with my new stereo. I made a mental note not to change the station all the time, but forgot after ten minutes. She caught me doing it and said, “whoa, you change the radio like every three minutes.” I laughed and started to apologize. She cut me off though and said how her friends would get so annoyed when she drove for this same reason. She said she has ADD when it comes to music and like to change the station even before the song has finished. That’s when I knew we’d get along ok. Haha.
That’s all Im going to share for today. Its 9:30am and I want to make it to a 10am yoga class. I worked long hours yesterday. I did the usual 8 at F&E. Then got called into YogaHop for a two hour shift. I left my house for work at 7am and got home at the end of it all at 8:45pm. I was hungry and tired. Haha.