Alice: Part Two
St. Helen’s Hospital was overcrowded. With no one dying to clear room for new patients, doctors and nurses scrambled through waiting areas, hallways, and packed rooms trying to care for everyone. None of them paid much attention to the figures that burst through the doors of the Emergency Department, only noticing that they were all upright, and seemingly uninjured.
“Captain Jack Harkness, Torchwood. We’ve come to test something. We might have a solution to your problem.”
A doctor finally looked up, “Unless it’s a way to help our dying patients actually stay dead, the answer is no.”
“That’s exactly what we think we’ve got.”
Jack watched as the doctor’s tense shoulders relaxed, “Come with me,” she said.
“Gwen, Rex, stay here,” said Jack. “See if you can help in any way.”
“Captain?” asked the doctor. “What is it? This cure you called it?”
“We think we’ve got something synthesized that will counteract what happened nine days ago to stop people from staying dead,” he said as they walked into a crowded room off of the Emergency Department. He tried to follow the doctor farther, but was stopped as a badly mangled arm blocked his path. He looked down, and felt his heart shatter.
“Alice?”
The body on the stretcher near the door nodded; a ventilator blocked her from speaking, but Jack knew what had happened. “You remembered, didn’t you?” he asked quietly.
She nodded as tears slipped from her swollen and bruised eyes, and she grabbed his arm tightly. The look on her face seemed to beg him for help. I can’t, he thought desperately. I can’t.
“Doctor? What happened to her?”
The doctor turned back around and looked at him, she shook her head and said, “Suicide attempt, nine days ago. She threw herself off a two story building. There was a note in her pocket and all it said was: ‘I’m sorry.’”
He bent down, and brushed his lips to her forehead. “You have nothing to apologise for baby,” he whispered. “It was what you needed.”
She shook her head; and although she wasn’t able to speak, her expression was easily read.
“Oh Alice,” he said quietly, “I can’t.”
She nodded slowly, and squeezed his arm.
“No, I can’t.”
Alice nodded again, and squeezed his arm tighter.
Oh God, why her? Of all the people to shake off the retcon, why her? He closed his eyes, steeling himself to help her even though it would kill him.
“Her,” he said tightly. “Doctor, we’ll test it on her. Is there a place this can be done without anyone around to watch? I don’t want people getting their hopes up if this ultimately fails.”
“Yes, one of the operating theatres is open. We’ll move her there.”
Jack nodded, “That’ll work, thank you.” He touched his daughter’s arm, “Alice, are you sure?”
She grabbed his arm as tightly as she could; her face plainly telling him that she was ready to move on.
“Okay,” he said. Jack held her hand as the ventilator and IV pole were moved, and as the stretcher she was on was rolled into the hall. He didn’t trust himself to let go while they were moving her, because he was afraid that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to do it.
“We’re here,” the doctor said simply. She pushed open the door and helped the orderly roll the gurney into the room. “Do you need my help?” she asked.
“No, it’s a liquid, I’ll just substitute it for the saline drip,” he said.
“Is she…?”
“She’s my daughter.”
“Oh.”
“If you’ll excuse me,” Jack said shortly.
“I’ll be right outside the door if you need my help.”
“I won’t,” he said, already pulling the drug out of the pocket of his greatcoat. He heard the door swing shut as he removed the bag of saline, and replaced it with the antidote. He opened the port, and watched the medicine begin to drip down the line into Alice’s arm. Jack picked up her hand again and whispered, “It should take effect quickly.”
She motioned at the ventilator with her other hand, mimed removing it from her body.
“Okay,” he said. He removed the tape from around her mouth, and gently slid the tube up her throat. “Sorry, I know that hurt.”
“It’s alright Dad,” she whispered hoarsely. “It’s alright. I’m ready.”
His eyes filled with tears before he could stop them, “I’m not.”
“But Dad, it’s time. I have nothing left anymore.”
“You have me,” he mumbled, brushing away the tears and breathing shakily.
“Dad, it’s okay. It’s okay,” she whispered. “Don’t cry, please.”
“Can’t be helped,” he muttered. He saw that Alice’s eyes were looking over his shoulder, and her hand was already going limp in his. “Alice?”
“Steven,” she whispered. “I see him. I see him, and Mum.”
Jack knew then that she was slipping away; he leaned down and lifted her partially off the stretcher, cradling her gently in his arms. “Then go with them baby, because it’s okay. It’s okay, it’s okay,” he whispered sadly. He felt her exhale once, and then go still. “Goodbye Alice,” he said softly. They always leave me.
Jack lowered her back down to the gurney and closed her eyes. He folded her arms and turned towards the door. Not yet, he thought to himself. I can’t go out there yet. He picked up her hand again and held it tightly, bowing his head.
He flinched as he felt someone place their hand on his shoulder; Jack reached over and gripped it with his free hand, knowing exactly who had interrupted his grief. “Gwen?”
“Jack? Jack, did it work?”
He turned and rounded on the brunette, “What do you think?” He gestured at Alice’s body and snapped, “Is my daughter still alive?”
“Oh Jack, Jack, I didn’t know it was Alice.”
“Well, it was her, and now she’s dead. Of course it worked Gwen, we knew it would.”
Gwen threw her arms around his neck hugging him tightly; she felt him sag into her embrace and begin to cry. “Oh Jack,” she said quietly as she rubbed his back. She held him in her arms as he rested his head on her shoulder, “Jack, if she was in pain…”
“I know, and she was. She hurt so much, this was the only way.”
Gwen let go of Jack, and held his face in her hands, “Don’t blame yourself. Don’t you go running away again. You gave Alice her release, freedom from all that pain. Do you hear me Jack Harkness? Don’t go running off to hide from this, because you didn’t do anything wrong.”
He nodded, the plucky Welsh woman was reading his mind again, because she knew exactly what he was thinking of doing. “Gwen, I need to go and -“
“No! No you don’t, don’t run away. You have me, and Rhys, we’ll help you through this.”
“Gwen, I need to go and talk to the doctor, let her know that it worked. That’s all,” he said quietly.
Gwen blushed; it had taken a few years, but she was finally learning to look suitably chastised when she overstepped her reach. “Okay,” she said.
He kissed her cheek, and moved past her to open the door. “Doctor?” he asked.
“Yes,” said the woman. “Well?”
“It worked,” he said simply and turned to go back into the operating theatre. “Gwen, can you take care of the arrangements for administering the antidote? I need to clear my head.”
“Sure Jack,” she said, brushing her hand over his shoulder. “Go on, but I expect you back at my home when your head is clear enough. We’ve not eaten a good meal in days; we can talk, and finally make some sense of this, this mess.”
He nodded and joked, “Sure, as long as you’re not the one cooking,” but Gwen could see that it was a half-hearted attempt to hold himself together.
“Oi! I’ll have you know that I’ve gotten better.”
“Better?” he mumbled.
“Okay, passable,” she said with a small smile. “You’ll be there though, yeah?”
“Yes Gwen, I won’t do a runner,” said Jack as he leaned down and kissed his daughter’s head. “Goodbye my Alice.”
He straightened and walked back through the door of the operating theatre and kept going, out the front door of the hospital, down the street, just walking, with no direction in mind. He walked through Cardiff, not watching anything, just walking. He kept going, turning down different streets, anything to just keep moving.
Finally he stopped; a small smile on his face because of where he’d found himself. He’d ended up right by where the invisible lift used to be. He turned round, taking in just how much the Plass had changed since he’d left. The remnants of the explosion had been all but removed since two years ago, a new tower stood in the place of the old one, and a new tourist office was almost complete. He turned again and saw it; the blue box, right where he’d jumped aboard, and joined in on a journey that had taken him to the end of the universe. He must need to refuel, Jack thought as he walked over.
“Jack?”
“Doctor? Time to refuel already?”
“No Jack,” the bow-tied Doctor said. “I was waiting for you.”
“You knew how it was going to play out, didn’t you?”
He nodded, “Couldn’t interfere though, fixed points and all.”
“Getting to be a habit with you isn’t it? Not interfering.”
The Doctor chuckled, “I know. I’m getting stodgy in my old age.”
“The 200 year old man, and the 900 year old alien, what a pair we make.”
“But we do look cool.”
“Yes we do. Doctor, I had to -“
“I know Captain. I know. It was the right thing to do. It gave her peace.”
“Will I ever get peace?”
The Doctor tapped the side of his nose, and said with a faint grin, “Spoilers.”
Jack sighed and looked down at the ground before asking the Doctor, “Can I hitch another ride?”
“Sure Captain, anywhere you want, I’ll even let you in this time.”
“How about this place?” he said, showing the Doctor an address on his mobile.
“Can do, but Captain this should be it for awhile, try to remember that the TARDIS is not a Time and Relative Dimensions in Space Taxi.”
Jack shook his head and chuckled softly, following the Doctor into the TARDIS. He paused in the doorway and wondered if Alice was somewhere beyond the darkness; he hoped she was, and that she was whole, happy, and reunited with Steven.
If you’re in peace, then I’ll be okay. Eventually, one day, I’ll be okay.