life as it used to be
i used to breathe and just go on with day to day life, but now that i am no longer the person who can just brush things off.... i dont know what to do. its hard enough to make something happen for yourself without the other variables getting in the way. for instance, i am totally infatuated with a guy who somehow comes in and out of liking me and it is driving me crazy. i dont know whether i want to continue to like him or if i want to "brush" him off like i did all my other crushes. my family is my other variable. nothing i do seems to be alright with them. i got really good grades and i didnt ever get into trouble with school and yet they turn to my older sister like she is something spectacular. she is pregnant, 19, and without a boyfriend. she just dumps on everyone around her and expects nobody to stand up to her.. life really isnt like in the movies, i cant write myself a happy ending.