all by myself
yeah i did break up with nic..like a while ago and now he has a new girlfriend who is my friend..if u want to get technical she is an acquantance...but the same feelings apply. it is weird to have a friend date my ex boyfriend and i dont know if i should even bother with this whole hoping that we will get back together. it seems pointless and i know that i could probably grow up and marry nic, but i dont think he will ever feel the same way about me.. again. yeah i screw up everything in my life. i really dont think i know what i want and so how am i supposed to say that i want nic. this weekend i actually had a revelation.. i had one of those moments where everything in my life was okay because i realized that nothing is perfect and that is the best way to have it. yeah and i think it is better to stay friends with nic and that is good for now because i dont want to lose him as a friend because he really is one of my best friends. i can tell him anything but somethings dont come up in casual conversation. i dont know about everything in my life that i havent told him, but i can feel it too that i havent told him.. maybe it has to do with my mom,,, or i think that it is about me. i cant believe that i thought that i could be open with everyone. it is hard and there are only a few people who i have told things and i really need to think about things before i start telling nic things about my life..i dont even know if he would care anymore. i really dont want to lose him..more than i have already. well i will write more later. i just had to get some things off of my chest. well bye
jessie!!!
jessie!!!