ever have?
Have you ever had a moment where you felt compeletly helpless?
I took a walk about an hour ago and while I was walking I thought about my life. I thought about the last time I was truely happy, and I thought about what I have to do in order to finally get there again.
First step is going home. Even if everyone is going to think less of me, its going to be ok...
Second step is in order for me to be happy, I need to let her have her space. I have been praying non-stop that she will wake up one day and see just how much I need and want her. I'd do anything to have her back in my arms. When she gave me my heart back, I never realized how heavy it was, its been so long since I had to carry it on my own, and its hard. Its very, very difficult...
Third step is to find my soul again. I lost it years ago when I stopped writing. Years had gone by and I felt that love was all I truely needed to live a happy life. Now without love, I have nothing left. So I will find my soul, hopefuly monseignor will be able to help me with it.
Fourth step is admitting to all I have done wrong. and by God it is a long list. As everyday goes by I think I am starting to believe more and more in a God, and I am not going to be one who pushes my beliefs on anyone, once I find out what exactly, my beliefs are.
Fifth is figuring out how to smile again. I've lost everything I have to smile about.
Sixth is to start the rest of my life. Hopefully it will be with her, if not then hopefully someday, someone will love me with all the faith, trust, beauty and honesty I have to put into the relationship. I want everything or nothing... I may end up being a very lonely man for the rest of my life.
These are what I have to do to become me again. #6 Will come once everything else comes, but not until then.
I still love her with all my heart, even if it is on my shoulders now...
Pray for me my friends that everything works out...
I love you all
Jim
I took a walk about an hour ago and while I was walking I thought about my life. I thought about the last time I was truely happy, and I thought about what I have to do in order to finally get there again.
First step is going home. Even if everyone is going to think less of me, its going to be ok...
Second step is in order for me to be happy, I need to let her have her space. I have been praying non-stop that she will wake up one day and see just how much I need and want her. I'd do anything to have her back in my arms. When she gave me my heart back, I never realized how heavy it was, its been so long since I had to carry it on my own, and its hard. Its very, very difficult...
Third step is to find my soul again. I lost it years ago when I stopped writing. Years had gone by and I felt that love was all I truely needed to live a happy life. Now without love, I have nothing left. So I will find my soul, hopefuly monseignor will be able to help me with it.
Fourth step is admitting to all I have done wrong. and by God it is a long list. As everyday goes by I think I am starting to believe more and more in a God, and I am not going to be one who pushes my beliefs on anyone, once I find out what exactly, my beliefs are.
Fifth is figuring out how to smile again. I've lost everything I have to smile about.
Sixth is to start the rest of my life. Hopefully it will be with her, if not then hopefully someday, someone will love me with all the faith, trust, beauty and honesty I have to put into the relationship. I want everything or nothing... I may end up being a very lonely man for the rest of my life.
These are what I have to do to become me again. #6 Will come once everything else comes, but not until then.
I still love her with all my heart, even if it is on my shoulders now...
Pray for me my friends that everything works out...
I love you all
Jim