looking backwards, some thoughts on friendship.
I got thinking about friends last night.
I wrote this for my first year seminar freshman fall.
What is a friend? A friend is someone who comes into your life, and may pass out of it, but their time in it is always remembered. They have a lasting impact on you, and possibly you on them. They share experiences with you, and through each other you see the world. They are someone who wants to be around you for whatever reason and you around them. They make your life more pleasant just by existing. They may have your back, and you probably have theirs in most situations. If you are that close, you might be willing to take a bullet for them. You can never assume your level of friendship is reciprocated with them; a tally sheet is useless. They enjoy your being and you enjoy theirs, and you get along decently. You have faults; they have faults. Despite each of your faults, you still care about each other.
I have four and a half kinds of friends.
#1) The modified acquaintance.
This is a friend you know through other friends. You know basic info about them and vice versa. You see them everyday at school or at work or in passing. You can make conversation, and you do care about them, but not usually beyond normal human compassion. This is the kid you sit on the bus next to, the kid who you've had classes with, or the kid you met through someone or something. When you leave school, work, or the location you are at, you probably won't speak again, but may curiously wonder how they are now & then. You don't dislike them, they just aren't that close to you. If there's a falling out, you won't cry over it.
#2) The friend.
The friend is someone you know quite well and hang out with pretty often. You have been around them for a concentrated span of time and therefore are close. Your better known classmates, your club members, your gym partner, that lady at church. You probably met them through another friend, or have several friends in common and met at a party. They know your fairly well, but they probably don;t know the real your or the complete you. They're your friend and you care about them, but time will tell how close you will remain through life. You probably shouldn't trust them too much with secrets, though, since you don't know them too well. A falling out will suck, but not all that much.
#3) The good friend.
This person knows you pretty darn well. They can tell a lot about you, and if something's off, they'll pick up on it. This kind of friend is the most fluid. Pending time and distance they may slide to being just a friend, or they may go up a notch to being a best friend. You like them quite a bit. Hell, you might love them! They might know almost everything about you, and they are there for you if you're in the same zip code. They will probably have your back through the good and the bad, mostly the good. Distance can make conversation hard but even if it's just a hello, they can make your day. You can not see each other for years and the friendship can still be there. They may talk a bit too honestly about you behind your back sometimes for your liking, but they're still your friend. In 5 years you will probably still be friends.
#3.5) The close friend- the person who is a mix of #3 and #4.
#4) The best friend.
The best friend has proven time and time again that they are your friend, through hugs and tears to helping you when you need it and making you laugh when you could use one. They have seen your good AND your bad sides and they still like you. Chances are in 10 years you will still be fairly close. They love you for the stupid freak you can be and you love them back. You have waaay too many inside jokes and silly stories. You've seen each other change through life, and despite that, you can still say you're pals. You love them. You've probably known them at least two or three years, probably longer. They can keep a secret, but if it is a secret that needs to be shared for your safety or someone else's, they'll do the right thing. If there is a falling out, you'll hopefully more than likely be able to fix it.
I wrote this for my first year seminar freshman fall.
What is a friend? A friend is someone who comes into your life, and may pass out of it, but their time in it is always remembered. They have a lasting impact on you, and possibly you on them. They share experiences with you, and through each other you see the world. They are someone who wants to be around you for whatever reason and you around them. They make your life more pleasant just by existing. They may have your back, and you probably have theirs in most situations. If you are that close, you might be willing to take a bullet for them. You can never assume your level of friendship is reciprocated with them; a tally sheet is useless. They enjoy your being and you enjoy theirs, and you get along decently. You have faults; they have faults. Despite each of your faults, you still care about each other.
I have four and a half kinds of friends.
#1) The modified acquaintance.
This is a friend you know through other friends. You know basic info about them and vice versa. You see them everyday at school or at work or in passing. You can make conversation, and you do care about them, but not usually beyond normal human compassion. This is the kid you sit on the bus next to, the kid who you've had classes with, or the kid you met through someone or something. When you leave school, work, or the location you are at, you probably won't speak again, but may curiously wonder how they are now & then. You don't dislike them, they just aren't that close to you. If there's a falling out, you won't cry over it.
#2) The friend.
The friend is someone you know quite well and hang out with pretty often. You have been around them for a concentrated span of time and therefore are close. Your better known classmates, your club members, your gym partner, that lady at church. You probably met them through another friend, or have several friends in common and met at a party. They know your fairly well, but they probably don;t know the real your or the complete you. They're your friend and you care about them, but time will tell how close you will remain through life. You probably shouldn't trust them too much with secrets, though, since you don't know them too well. A falling out will suck, but not all that much.
#3) The good friend.
This person knows you pretty darn well. They can tell a lot about you, and if something's off, they'll pick up on it. This kind of friend is the most fluid. Pending time and distance they may slide to being just a friend, or they may go up a notch to being a best friend. You like them quite a bit. Hell, you might love them! They might know almost everything about you, and they are there for you if you're in the same zip code. They will probably have your back through the good and the bad, mostly the good. Distance can make conversation hard but even if it's just a hello, they can make your day. You can not see each other for years and the friendship can still be there. They may talk a bit too honestly about you behind your back sometimes for your liking, but they're still your friend. In 5 years you will probably still be friends.
#3.5) The close friend- the person who is a mix of #3 and #4.
#4) The best friend.
The best friend has proven time and time again that they are your friend, through hugs and tears to helping you when you need it and making you laugh when you could use one. They have seen your good AND your bad sides and they still like you. Chances are in 10 years you will still be fairly close. They love you for the stupid freak you can be and you love them back. You have waaay too many inside jokes and silly stories. You've seen each other change through life, and despite that, you can still say you're pals. You love them. You've probably known them at least two or three years, probably longer. They can keep a secret, but if it is a secret that needs to be shared for your safety or someone else's, they'll do the right thing. If there is a falling out, you'll hopefully more than likely be able to fix it.