Political Science Can Kill You, or, How I Learned About Narcotics
So when I was doing campaigning for Haszko, there was one afternoon when Hazel and Ross and I hung out in WUMF because my stomach was driving me nuts, and I was in pain. Trouble was, I also had to drive the vote van. So us plus Christine bundled out and spread Haszko love (and ate candy) and I took Maalox.
This happened a few more times when we campaigned, and it was unpleasant. But I drank my cherry maalox, and decided it was Dr. Pepper overdosage, and whatever.
Friday at 4 am I was about to discover that this was NOT caffeine OD'ing in polisci land, or too much Dr. Pepper. It was my gallbladder. That Bitch!
The nurse, amusingly, was the woman whose home I was at for Christmas Eve 2009- the 7 generations of Polish-Sicilian Americans with roasted meat, Dominic the Donkey, crude jokes about nuns orgasming, and Sicilian Lemonade. Oh, and wine. They put me on Dilaudid x2 and a double dose of muscle relaxers.
Let me tell you. Dilaudid is a narcotic pain med. IT IS AMAZING. I felt like I was flying. I felt like a million dollars. I felt like the world was my oyster. Then it wore off, and the side effects started.
What are the side effects?
* Irritability
* Shaking
* Wanting more
* Emotional instability
* Being drugged up
* Vomiting
* Feeling cold
* Vomiting some more
Like a hooker is Las Vegas, I had them all.
It's a long story, but basically, I signed a bunch of shit I don't remember, was completely incoherent, and told the nurses in the OR to fuck off, multiple times, when it took them 2 hours to do an intake. And when my mother called and I tried to communicate with her and the nurses realized my friend from knitting who was making sure I wasn't taken advantage of wasn't my mother. And when they told me I'd consented to having my gallbladder out at 7:30 am the next morning and I had to stay there in misery until then.
Then I lost it.
Rutland's hospital is a shithole, the end. It was truly horrible. I now understand why people in the city drive bleeding to Dartmouth Hitchcock or Springfield (neighboring county). I'm going to Bangor for the surgery.
They did release me, which was a shocker to me. I was completely a wreck, miserable, and unhappy. The only reason they let me go was because my friend Karen was there. I slept 15 hours.
It all makes sense now. The weight gain, the vitamin D going down the shitter, the indigestion. Gallbladder.
In a giant twist of irony, my father got an audit sheet this week to see if I had bee offered insurance through my employer. I technically was through ACorps, and declined it, because Blue Cross Blue Shield kicks ass. Well, regardless of whether I accepted it or not, because I was offered it, I can no longer be on my father's plan. I've reapplied for the ACorps plan, which will take affect March 1st. So as of March 1st, I can have my gallbladder out.
I just have to go 14 days without setting off my gallbladder. No coffee, soda, red meat, dairy, pasta, nuts, fatty fats, or excess sugar.
What's the worst that could happen?
Oh, not much, just go septic, gangrene, and die.
Thankfully, I went on a binge and got Lungs by Florence & The Machine, Two Suns by Bat For Lashes, and Middle Cyclone by Neko Case, so I'm full of excellent lady grooves.
This happened a few more times when we campaigned, and it was unpleasant. But I drank my cherry maalox, and decided it was Dr. Pepper overdosage, and whatever.
Friday at 4 am I was about to discover that this was NOT caffeine OD'ing in polisci land, or too much Dr. Pepper. It was my gallbladder. That Bitch!
The nurse, amusingly, was the woman whose home I was at for Christmas Eve 2009- the 7 generations of Polish-Sicilian Americans with roasted meat, Dominic the Donkey, crude jokes about nuns orgasming, and Sicilian Lemonade. Oh, and wine. They put me on Dilaudid x2 and a double dose of muscle relaxers.
Let me tell you. Dilaudid is a narcotic pain med. IT IS AMAZING. I felt like I was flying. I felt like a million dollars. I felt like the world was my oyster. Then it wore off, and the side effects started.
What are the side effects?
* Irritability
* Shaking
* Wanting more
* Emotional instability
* Being drugged up
* Vomiting
* Feeling cold
* Vomiting some more
Like a hooker is Las Vegas, I had them all.
It's a long story, but basically, I signed a bunch of shit I don't remember, was completely incoherent, and told the nurses in the OR to fuck off, multiple times, when it took them 2 hours to do an intake. And when my mother called and I tried to communicate with her and the nurses realized my friend from knitting who was making sure I wasn't taken advantage of wasn't my mother. And when they told me I'd consented to having my gallbladder out at 7:30 am the next morning and I had to stay there in misery until then.
Then I lost it.
Rutland's hospital is a shithole, the end. It was truly horrible. I now understand why people in the city drive bleeding to Dartmouth Hitchcock or Springfield (neighboring county). I'm going to Bangor for the surgery.
They did release me, which was a shocker to me. I was completely a wreck, miserable, and unhappy. The only reason they let me go was because my friend Karen was there. I slept 15 hours.
It all makes sense now. The weight gain, the vitamin D going down the shitter, the indigestion. Gallbladder.
In a giant twist of irony, my father got an audit sheet this week to see if I had bee offered insurance through my employer. I technically was through ACorps, and declined it, because Blue Cross Blue Shield kicks ass. Well, regardless of whether I accepted it or not, because I was offered it, I can no longer be on my father's plan. I've reapplied for the ACorps plan, which will take affect March 1st. So as of March 1st, I can have my gallbladder out.
I just have to go 14 days without setting off my gallbladder. No coffee, soda, red meat, dairy, pasta, nuts, fatty fats, or excess sugar.
What's the worst that could happen?
Oh, not much, just go septic, gangrene, and die.
Thankfully, I went on a binge and got Lungs by Florence & The Machine, Two Suns by Bat For Lashes, and Middle Cyclone by Neko Case, so I'm full of excellent lady grooves.