up down,up down.god damn.
one minute i'm great,and proud,and i feel i can do this.
the next i feel bad,uncomftable and out of my depth.
ugh.stoopid mood swings.
was meant to have 400 today and i kinda cheated.i've had pop corn and a croissent.
and i feel all bloated and sicky from all the tea and water.
i weighed myself today.i cried.i know i am never going to be able to get as low as others.i'm too tall,and my bone structure is large.but still?how did this happen?where was my ED when i needed it?
i feel kinda strange being here as well.but i cant do this on my own,and i have so far to go.
part of me is crying for all the others here.feeling so sad,and another part is telling me i'm in control unlike the others,and another part is SO jealous.its all mixed up and stupid.
and i'm too fat to be here.
everybody's worked so hard and i have spend 6 years on my arse mindlessly shoveling food in.
the next i feel bad,uncomftable and out of my depth.
ugh.stoopid mood swings.
was meant to have 400 today and i kinda cheated.i've had pop corn and a croissent.
and i feel all bloated and sicky from all the tea and water.
i weighed myself today.i cried.i know i am never going to be able to get as low as others.i'm too tall,and my bone structure is large.but still?how did this happen?where was my ED when i needed it?
i feel kinda strange being here as well.but i cant do this on my own,and i have so far to go.
part of me is crying for all the others here.feeling so sad,and another part is telling me i'm in control unlike the others,and another part is SO jealous.its all mixed up and stupid.
and i'm too fat to be here.
everybody's worked so hard and i have spend 6 years on my arse mindlessly shoveling food in.