(no subject)
As i rode my sisters old bike down the middle of those loud dirty streets of downtown LA i felt fucking good.. real fucking good.. minutes before that i quit my new job.. i stood up for myself & i fucking walked out check in hand smile on my face.. the buses didnt scare me.. the metro bums didnt ask for a cent & i realized that i am doing exactly what i need to be doing..
I am disappointed that it did not work out but this is not my fault.. i cannot fix that place.. its too f'd up & i am sure as hell not going to do it for less money than what was agreed upon.. not what i was hired to do.. not what im interested in.. goodbye I'll chance it.. im out..
Soo here i am again..
meg told me the world was going to end in four years anyways & that i shouldnt waste one second on bullshit anymore.. she also talked a lot about detroit & about how shes moving closer to the city & about how she saw so n so & went this place & that place & how shes going to bad trips & working on this & that & i told her to just shut up because i am homesick & i dont want to fucking think about it.. she said oh why.. i asked her if she knew what it was like to leave your home & be across the country from everything you know & be forced to meet new people everyday & do new stuff everyday & not find anyone that understands really what you are talking about.. i asked her if she new what it was like to not be able to go see maki & popi & not be able to see her friends when she really wanted to.. she shut up & i rode my bike home.. here i am now..
its sunny & the dogs licked my face.. i like california a lot.. but i dont get it yet.. i feel good about leaving that job though.. i feel good about myself lately.. i was really sad back home & being out here has been really good for me.. its showed me whats important.. but thats also why i miss home.. most all my important things are out their..
its an odd feeling..
but tonight i will get drunk at the prospector with amber & i will sing karaoke & ride my bike to the ocean & puke on a sandcastle.. i will laugh & dance & try to make some more sense outta all this..
it will be good..
right now im going to make more art.. make more of a mess & take the chiweewees for a walk..
I am disappointed that it did not work out but this is not my fault.. i cannot fix that place.. its too f'd up & i am sure as hell not going to do it for less money than what was agreed upon.. not what i was hired to do.. not what im interested in.. goodbye I'll chance it.. im out..
Soo here i am again..
meg told me the world was going to end in four years anyways & that i shouldnt waste one second on bullshit anymore.. she also talked a lot about detroit & about how shes moving closer to the city & about how she saw so n so & went this place & that place & how shes going to bad trips & working on this & that & i told her to just shut up because i am homesick & i dont want to fucking think about it.. she said oh why.. i asked her if she knew what it was like to leave your home & be across the country from everything you know & be forced to meet new people everyday & do new stuff everyday & not find anyone that understands really what you are talking about.. i asked her if she new what it was like to not be able to go see maki & popi & not be able to see her friends when she really wanted to.. she shut up & i rode my bike home.. here i am now..
its sunny & the dogs licked my face.. i like california a lot.. but i dont get it yet.. i feel good about leaving that job though.. i feel good about myself lately.. i was really sad back home & being out here has been really good for me.. its showed me whats important.. but thats also why i miss home.. most all my important things are out their..
its an odd feeling..
but tonight i will get drunk at the prospector with amber & i will sing karaoke & ride my bike to the ocean & puke on a sandcastle.. i will laugh & dance & try to make some more sense outta all this..
it will be good..
right now im going to make more art.. make more of a mess & take the chiweewees for a walk..