Life is still goin' great.
So yeah since my life isn't actually stressful right now, I guess it's time to actually pull up a chair with my demons.
Stuff I'm not afraid to talk about anymore.
Like for one, did you know I had an ex stalk me for 8 years?
I tell everyone about that now, because I just love to see the looks on their faces.
This person did everything they could to track me down, including using other unwitting people to carry out his dirty work.
So fun. That's all over now, I guess he aged out, or is too busy to care.
Good for him, I say. Healthy decision.
Also, I was really taken advantage of for the majority of my 20's and 30's.
Short list of culprits won't make this post, but they'll show up in others.
But yeah, I was suckered into some fucked up shit, on more than one occasion. I mean on some level, smarten up, right?
Well, I did. Now I'm really good at documenting shit and holding people accountable. So yeah, I don't recommend fucking with me any time soon.
But the thing that still really burns me up, was that I was made to feel GUILTY by the same people who I was exceedingly generous with, and that's not cool. They really need to take their part and at least own how demanding they were. At the very least.
See, my generosity was misinterpreted as naivete, first time around, second time I think the next person was genuinely naive themselves and couldn't even really comprehend the level of understanding they required.
And they just kept asking for it. Not considering that I was a person and not a human emotion-ATM. I never really got anything back. Like, ever.
Also, guess what, if someone needs something from you and the thing that drives you to do the thing is guilt-don't fucking do it. Do it for better reasons.
You know? Like that you actually want to. Just saying. I learned that lesson so hard, and now I help other people not fall into the same trap.
It's hard though, the people who set them are really good at it.
Either way I let my guard down and was kind and BOY that is something you just don't ever wanna do in this world.
No, I don't believe that, but hell I was being facetious.
What I believe now is that I am worth something. I am not a dickhead narcissist who does extremely transparent things to get their way in this world.
I just do me.
Until next time...