Some old stuff..
Just felt like posting some old stuff, from high school.. Mostly unfinished.
[Don't turn out the lights]
Pressure so deep it makes the wounded mind bleed.
Hatred, love double and fold.
As the support caves into desire.
Too soon it may be.
Trickling sensations down the spine
Opposite path for right of mind.
Girls’ jump of faith, that surely will fall.
A weak bridge to cross: dignity and lust.
Bite down hard and fall to the floor.
Pumped by the heart, innocence no more.
(Rather than unfinished, the beginning is not there... o.0 I never got around to it.)
Another little something I wrote for a guy named Chris. Could have been used for a better purpose, now that I have read over it again. But ....Ohhh well.
[...And..]
I'm so sorry,
that it had to happen to you.
It makes me sad to think about
what you must have gone through.
Now, I'm here...but I haven't made things easier.
..And.. I wish I could have endured your pain,
so that you wouldn't have to.
(Apparently about a rough time this guy went through :p)
Now finally, a story I have previously posted on another journal, that was revised since then. (In high school) It is still not finished, but I thought it was rather eye catching. :]]
[The un-named Story]
The crickets echoed throughout the front porch, as silence fell over the house. The sun had almost set now, and clouds cast over the soon to be night sky. The birds were no longer singing. All that stirred about was a lonely girl with a heart full of exhaustion.
She looked out her bedroom window, and watched as the wind blew through her tiny neighborhood, rocking the tree branches along the way. Wondering how the tree managed to be pushed back and forth, yet still stood tall after the storm had passed. She, unlike the tree, would have never been able to withstand the winds pressure. The tiniest nudge would have sent her tumbling down the sidewalk. It hurt to think of what he was doing to her, for the most part, she tried to ignore it. But it was times like these that kept the pain alive. It began to rain, and without warning, thunder cracked loudly. It ripped through the silence and shook the window frames. Thunder was always one of her biggest fears, but right now, it didn’t scare her, not at all. It seemed to add to her anger. The thunder grew louder and the rain poured harder as she took another sip.
“I hate guys!” she exclaimed, looking down into the cherry red glass of wine. “I don’t need this anymore!” Anger rushed through her veins and engulfed her heart. She couldn’t take it. It wasn’t fair. His mind games ripped away at her soul each time they were played.
Without haste, she threw the sweet glass of wine at the wall. Shattered glass flew everywhere. She fell to her knees, onto the broken glass. The tiny crystal pieces pricked her legs, but she didn’t care. It was no worse then the pain he managed to put her through already. She could feel her knees begin to tingle and she enjoyed it. They begin to numb; she liked it that way. The numbness freed her from her horrible reality. There was no way she could stand living in this life of peril any longer. The red wine had now poured down the wall and reached the floor. It was turning the thick white carpet into a shade of rose-pink. She stared at the stain that lay in front of her. She couldn’t see the shattered glass anymore, nor could she feel it. She wanted to see the damage on her knees, so she stood up and looked down. What she saw didn’t even cause her to flinch. She wanted to see the blood. She wanted to rub the blood on her legs; she liked the color and the feel. It made her feel accomplished. She noticed something that caused her stomach to unnerve, she was not bleeding anymore. This caused a swelling sense of failure to arise. She looked for the biggest piece of glass she could find and begin to press the sharp edge into her knees. At first gently, and then as she progressed she pushed harder, until the blood begin to seep through. Finally, a sense of relief overcame as the crimson color flowed down her knees, resembling the wine she had spilt. Now she could rest easy. She’d done something, and she’d done it right. It was the only thing that mattered at this point in time, and he was proud.
Suddenly, the phone rang and shook her violently from the prideful daze. It had been so quiet ever since she’d broken the glass she almost forgot about the surrounding world. The phone continued to ring, and she knew who it was. Startled and panicked, she reached for the phone, but could not bring herself to answer it. A million thoughts flooded her head as the ringing grew louder and louder. She imagined his voice bellowing deeply at her for being unaware of his phone calls. She wanted to drift away, back into her day dream of self praise. No matter what she did, or tried to do, it was never good enough for him. There was, and always would be, something he could criticize.
Once the phone stopped ringing, she decided it was time to clean the mess she had made. She didn’t want anyone to know she was drinking. Alcohol, like many other things, dulled her aching pains for acceptance and normality. It was something she just couldn’t control and even if she could, she would choose not to.
She begun to vacuum up the shards of glass, like diamonds on the floor, diamonds she would never deserve. A few times she’d stepped on the shattered pieces. She thought of putting on shoes, but later decided she liked her feet to feel free. She liked walking barefoot because it was risky. Risky wasn’t something she was at all familiar with, so reserved and isolated, she did as she was told.
She tried her best to avoid the spots where she could see the shards in plain view. She didn’t like failing. It was something she’d always tried to avoid, which was the reason she hadn’t given up on “him.” To see their relationship fail would surely mean she was not fit to succeed. But after tonight, she felt it was the best thing she could do. She needed to put an end to this. Somehow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I felt like posting all of this, mainly because I found it interesting. I do not at any cost write now days. I noticed, while procrastinating homework, that strangely, I have a large collection of writings. I'd written mostly all in high school, and found them hidden in the mess I call "My Documents."
Two out of three are insanely significant to my life. Especially one, that is now presently active in my everyday living. A small personal issue I am undergoing at the moment, that I dare not mention to any living soul.
ANYHOO
because I am avoiding a massive amount of homework from my online class.... I MUST GOO! :]
[Don't turn out the lights]
Pressure so deep it makes the wounded mind bleed.
Hatred, love double and fold.
As the support caves into desire.
Too soon it may be.
Trickling sensations down the spine
Opposite path for right of mind.
Girls’ jump of faith, that surely will fall.
A weak bridge to cross: dignity and lust.
Bite down hard and fall to the floor.
Pumped by the heart, innocence no more.
(Rather than unfinished, the beginning is not there... o.0 I never got around to it.)
Another little something I wrote for a guy named Chris. Could have been used for a better purpose, now that I have read over it again. But ....Ohhh well.
[...And..]
I'm so sorry,
that it had to happen to you.
It makes me sad to think about
what you must have gone through.
Now, I'm here...but I haven't made things easier.
..And.. I wish I could have endured your pain,
so that you wouldn't have to.
(Apparently about a rough time this guy went through :p)
Now finally, a story I have previously posted on another journal, that was revised since then. (In high school) It is still not finished, but I thought it was rather eye catching. :]]
[The un-named Story]
The crickets echoed throughout the front porch, as silence fell over the house. The sun had almost set now, and clouds cast over the soon to be night sky. The birds were no longer singing. All that stirred about was a lonely girl with a heart full of exhaustion.
She looked out her bedroom window, and watched as the wind blew through her tiny neighborhood, rocking the tree branches along the way. Wondering how the tree managed to be pushed back and forth, yet still stood tall after the storm had passed. She, unlike the tree, would have never been able to withstand the winds pressure. The tiniest nudge would have sent her tumbling down the sidewalk. It hurt to think of what he was doing to her, for the most part, she tried to ignore it. But it was times like these that kept the pain alive. It began to rain, and without warning, thunder cracked loudly. It ripped through the silence and shook the window frames. Thunder was always one of her biggest fears, but right now, it didn’t scare her, not at all. It seemed to add to her anger. The thunder grew louder and the rain poured harder as she took another sip.
“I hate guys!” she exclaimed, looking down into the cherry red glass of wine. “I don’t need this anymore!” Anger rushed through her veins and engulfed her heart. She couldn’t take it. It wasn’t fair. His mind games ripped away at her soul each time they were played.
Without haste, she threw the sweet glass of wine at the wall. Shattered glass flew everywhere. She fell to her knees, onto the broken glass. The tiny crystal pieces pricked her legs, but she didn’t care. It was no worse then the pain he managed to put her through already. She could feel her knees begin to tingle and she enjoyed it. They begin to numb; she liked it that way. The numbness freed her from her horrible reality. There was no way she could stand living in this life of peril any longer. The red wine had now poured down the wall and reached the floor. It was turning the thick white carpet into a shade of rose-pink. She stared at the stain that lay in front of her. She couldn’t see the shattered glass anymore, nor could she feel it. She wanted to see the damage on her knees, so she stood up and looked down. What she saw didn’t even cause her to flinch. She wanted to see the blood. She wanted to rub the blood on her legs; she liked the color and the feel. It made her feel accomplished. She noticed something that caused her stomach to unnerve, she was not bleeding anymore. This caused a swelling sense of failure to arise. She looked for the biggest piece of glass she could find and begin to press the sharp edge into her knees. At first gently, and then as she progressed she pushed harder, until the blood begin to seep through. Finally, a sense of relief overcame as the crimson color flowed down her knees, resembling the wine she had spilt. Now she could rest easy. She’d done something, and she’d done it right. It was the only thing that mattered at this point in time, and he was proud.
Suddenly, the phone rang and shook her violently from the prideful daze. It had been so quiet ever since she’d broken the glass she almost forgot about the surrounding world. The phone continued to ring, and she knew who it was. Startled and panicked, she reached for the phone, but could not bring herself to answer it. A million thoughts flooded her head as the ringing grew louder and louder. She imagined his voice bellowing deeply at her for being unaware of his phone calls. She wanted to drift away, back into her day dream of self praise. No matter what she did, or tried to do, it was never good enough for him. There was, and always would be, something he could criticize.
Once the phone stopped ringing, she decided it was time to clean the mess she had made. She didn’t want anyone to know she was drinking. Alcohol, like many other things, dulled her aching pains for acceptance and normality. It was something she just couldn’t control and even if she could, she would choose not to.
She begun to vacuum up the shards of glass, like diamonds on the floor, diamonds she would never deserve. A few times she’d stepped on the shattered pieces. She thought of putting on shoes, but later decided she liked her feet to feel free. She liked walking barefoot because it was risky. Risky wasn’t something she was at all familiar with, so reserved and isolated, she did as she was told.
She tried her best to avoid the spots where she could see the shards in plain view. She didn’t like failing. It was something she’d always tried to avoid, which was the reason she hadn’t given up on “him.” To see their relationship fail would surely mean she was not fit to succeed. But after tonight, she felt it was the best thing she could do. She needed to put an end to this. Somehow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I felt like posting all of this, mainly because I found it interesting. I do not at any cost write now days. I noticed, while procrastinating homework, that strangely, I have a large collection of writings. I'd written mostly all in high school, and found them hidden in the mess I call "My Documents."
Two out of three are insanely significant to my life. Especially one, that is now presently active in my everyday living. A small personal issue I am undergoing at the moment, that I dare not mention to any living soul.
ANYHOO
because I am avoiding a massive amount of homework from my online class.... I MUST GOO! :]