im just gonna be real honest with myself.

[btifuldisastr]

well now..
here i am
once again in the position i always use
as an excuse to get out of something i realized too late that im not so sure i want to be in
so you come along and ive decided
maybe ill pursue this
i know it will, at least,
be everything i want
or everything i want to stay away from
so ill try something new.
so yeah, maybe i have alot on my mind right now
do you care?...
probably not.
but thats not what i want
i dont need you to understand or care
just the fact that, i dont know....
the fact that you want to be next to me
i love the way u touch me
and thats all that seems to matter
yeah im scared
this is probably all wrong
your intentions are as sincere as a suicide note
and your expectations will probably exceed my limitations
but i can make u happy
and i can be that girl you take home,
and the girl who ur friends would love to see you with.
im up for the masquerade.
i see through your mask,
and,
past your goofy smile and dumb hair,
i see you and how empty you are.
hollow...
this wont be hard
but im not so sure im going to hate it as much as i think i will
theres a first time for everything
so lets all join in
and be as fake as we possibly can now, shall we?