Chicago, part 2
I can't believe I forgot to write about this in my first post.
Okay, here's the thing. A guy named Chris Lindsey decides he wants to be a wrestler, and develops a decent amount of in-ring ability. So he decides to call himself the gayest thing he can possibly think up. "RODERICK STRONG." He could've called himself BEAR MCBUTTFUCK and been less lame. He also assumes that since he has a job and a decent amount of in-ring ability that he can stop growing, producing body hair, and working out. So what we're left with is shapeless midget RODERICK STRONG, a guy who looks like a big leg in wrestling gear. I can't STAND him, and everyone else on the planet loves him.
So he's in the ring wrestling American Dragon, the best wrestler to come along in a decade, in their third one-on-one world title match. The first match went 37 minutes and ended with Rod tapping like a bitch in two seconds. The second match went 47 minutes and ended with Dragon elbowing Rod in the head over and over and over until the ref stopped the match. Basically he's outmatched COMPLETELY and looks like a BIG WRESTLING LEG IN WRESTLING GEAR in the ring next to my fucking paragon of virtue. I proceed to boo every thing he does. Such is my right.
So it gets quiet and they're circling each other about 20 minutes or so into the match (if I remember correctly, it might've been sooner than that) and I stand up and let out "YOU'RE A PUSSY, RODERICK!" as loudly and passionately as I can. Strong gives Dragon the "hold on a second" finger gesture, turns to me, and goes "WHOA WHOA WHOA, HEY." And then he just kinda stops. And I CRACK THE FUCK UP. As a professional wrestler you're going to get booed by people who don't like what you do. It's part of it. Dragon gets booed more than just about anybody in that company, but when he does, he knows how to handle it. Rod the Bod just gave me the retort equivalent of, well, fuck, he just told me WHOA HEY. Like, I'VE JUST NOTICED WHAT YOU SAID. Totally weak and totally hilarious.
The match ends with Roderick tapping out to the crossface chickenwing at the 57 minute mark because he is a total woman. I cheer and sing Dragon's themesong with the rest of the audience (The Final Countdown). All is well.
On night two, Roderick and Austin Aries, the tag team champions, are wrestling Blood Generation. It was a really good match, which, like the title match the night before, shows Strong's decent in-ring ability and capacity to be carried to something great. But about midway through the match Strong is standing on the apron waiting for a tag, doing this thing where he's bobbing his butt up and down in anticipation. I can't really describe it more aptly than that. I also want to note here that Strong has a frat boy light pink tan. That becomes important in a second.
Strong is butt bobbing, waiting for the tag, and the guys in the ring are in a resthold and everyone gets quiet again. I can't take the butt bob anymore and stand, yelling (simply) "YOU SUCK, STRONG." He hears my voice and instantly knows it's me, both because my voice is pretty easy to pick out of a crowd and because I'm really the only person in an arena of almost 2,000 giving him shit. He turns in a SPLIT SECOND to me (and he looks right at me again, so I made eye contact to let him know I'm not being shy about my feelings) and goes "HEY FUCK YOU" and turns back to the ring. The crowd starts laughing, and I again crack the fuck up. Now Roderick's pink tan has turned BRIGHT RED and he is SO PISSED OFF.
He gets the tag and runs into the ring hitting people as hard as he possibly can. Kicks CIMA in the center of the chest with all his might. He looks back at me and goes WHO SUCKS NOW, which prompts me to stand up again and yell YOOOOOU.
I met Jim Cornette, Dragon Gate, and Samoa Joe. I saw a 57 minute world title match, a chair riot, and a dozen other wonderful things. But nothing, honestly, was as fun as letting Roderick Strong know how terrible he is and having him truly understand.
Also, I think they should change Aries' name to "Todd Strong."
Okay, here's the thing. A guy named Chris Lindsey decides he wants to be a wrestler, and develops a decent amount of in-ring ability. So he decides to call himself the gayest thing he can possibly think up. "RODERICK STRONG." He could've called himself BEAR MCBUTTFUCK and been less lame. He also assumes that since he has a job and a decent amount of in-ring ability that he can stop growing, producing body hair, and working out. So what we're left with is shapeless midget RODERICK STRONG, a guy who looks like a big leg in wrestling gear. I can't STAND him, and everyone else on the planet loves him.
So he's in the ring wrestling American Dragon, the best wrestler to come along in a decade, in their third one-on-one world title match. The first match went 37 minutes and ended with Rod tapping like a bitch in two seconds. The second match went 47 minutes and ended with Dragon elbowing Rod in the head over and over and over until the ref stopped the match. Basically he's outmatched COMPLETELY and looks like a BIG WRESTLING LEG IN WRESTLING GEAR in the ring next to my fucking paragon of virtue. I proceed to boo every thing he does. Such is my right.
So it gets quiet and they're circling each other about 20 minutes or so into the match (if I remember correctly, it might've been sooner than that) and I stand up and let out "YOU'RE A PUSSY, RODERICK!" as loudly and passionately as I can. Strong gives Dragon the "hold on a second" finger gesture, turns to me, and goes "WHOA WHOA WHOA, HEY." And then he just kinda stops. And I CRACK THE FUCK UP. As a professional wrestler you're going to get booed by people who don't like what you do. It's part of it. Dragon gets booed more than just about anybody in that company, but when he does, he knows how to handle it. Rod the Bod just gave me the retort equivalent of, well, fuck, he just told me WHOA HEY. Like, I'VE JUST NOTICED WHAT YOU SAID. Totally weak and totally hilarious.
The match ends with Roderick tapping out to the crossface chickenwing at the 57 minute mark because he is a total woman. I cheer and sing Dragon's themesong with the rest of the audience (The Final Countdown). All is well.
On night two, Roderick and Austin Aries, the tag team champions, are wrestling Blood Generation. It was a really good match, which, like the title match the night before, shows Strong's decent in-ring ability and capacity to be carried to something great. But about midway through the match Strong is standing on the apron waiting for a tag, doing this thing where he's bobbing his butt up and down in anticipation. I can't really describe it more aptly than that. I also want to note here that Strong has a frat boy light pink tan. That becomes important in a second.
Strong is butt bobbing, waiting for the tag, and the guys in the ring are in a resthold and everyone gets quiet again. I can't take the butt bob anymore and stand, yelling (simply) "YOU SUCK, STRONG." He hears my voice and instantly knows it's me, both because my voice is pretty easy to pick out of a crowd and because I'm really the only person in an arena of almost 2,000 giving him shit. He turns in a SPLIT SECOND to me (and he looks right at me again, so I made eye contact to let him know I'm not being shy about my feelings) and goes "HEY FUCK YOU" and turns back to the ring. The crowd starts laughing, and I again crack the fuck up. Now Roderick's pink tan has turned BRIGHT RED and he is SO PISSED OFF.
He gets the tag and runs into the ring hitting people as hard as he possibly can. Kicks CIMA in the center of the chest with all his might. He looks back at me and goes WHO SUCKS NOW, which prompts me to stand up again and yell YOOOOOU.
I met Jim Cornette, Dragon Gate, and Samoa Joe. I saw a 57 minute world title match, a chair riot, and a dozen other wonderful things. But nothing, honestly, was as fun as letting Roderick Strong know how terrible he is and having him truly understand.
Also, I think they should change Aries' name to "Todd Strong."