(no subject)
tonight i did a whole load of my boyfriends laundry. like, i was sorting and realized i could make an entire load of his clothing. i also realized how much time he's been spending here lately, and how much of his time he's given me and my family since this whole thing happened with my mother. the least i could do is clean his dirty clothes. the absolute least. poor guy had a hard day today. he's sleeping, and i want to call and talk to him but i think he should just rest and deal with it tommorow. sometimes i think about how much i love him and it makes me dizzy. i used to dream about jonathan, before i even met him. i used to think about this person who would awesome, compassionate, capable, thoughtful, funny, flawed - a real human being who loved me as much as i loved him. granted, i never dreamt about doing his laundry but knowing what i know now, i think i might have found a way to include that in the fantasy oh so many years ago.