(no subject)
so0o0o0o0 ok i have something to say to pretty much everyone involved in my life right now.
everyone keeps saying how much they dont like lying or being hurt. or not opening up or keeping secrets and this and that. and well id like to remind you all. that well, you have all done it all. i mean, not just how everyone does it to people but like really mean stuff.
if you dont remember, this whole year was a lie to me. everything i was ever told was a lie - or a secret. now im sorry, but that is NOT my fault that people felt they had to do that. its wrong no matter what to lie to your so called best friends.
im saying this because well, people "dont perticularly like me" because they say i cause to much drama. now i would like to bring everyone back to when it all began. people lied to ME, people went behind MY back, people treated ME like shit. when that whole time all i did was be a friend to you all. just because i dont like when people lie, go behind my back and treat me like shit (and i dont let them, no, so therefore sure i cause a fight but i would HAVE done it for any of you if i thoguht someone was treating you like shit too) dosnt mean that i "cause all the drama" and yes i said HAVE done it for any of you because really, the fact that people dont like me cause of that is kinda lame. i just want everyone to think back on this year like REAL hard and tell me what i did wrong to my friends. becase even me being jelous of meg n lysh was never wrong. it was and is perfectly normal to be jelous when your best friends starts to drop u for someone else. and i know all of you have felt that way....EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. therefore, i dont count that.and really, after you consider this year, maybe it will make u step back and think about how you have judged me. i did nothing but be a good friend to everyone. sure i messed up from time to time but everyone does. but i never "back stabbed" anyone. there is only one time i can ever think about something and i stepped right up and faced my consiquences (shut the hell up and sound it out ok?)
i guess i just hate not how everyone is fighting, but how everyone is being so hypocrytical....nothing can get solved that way.
when really, i dont think anything is gonna get completly solved which kinda sucks.BUT i have also been thinking....
i am sure i wrote this in here earlier but its the seriousness truth in my life. like the only thing i can REALLY know i think right now.cause even though im ok with people again, i cant really trust them anymore.
i am honestly tryint to live in this "whatever' kinda way. not like i dont give a shit about my life but like....hey, im here, im gonna have fun, im not gonna be a bitch in the process btu once something happens and you try to make it right u cant do anything else.
i mean ok...the first 2 weeks of summer let me tell you...i found out i got not 1 but 2 Ds in school, i had -90$ in the bank, none of my friends were getting along, one of my best friends and ex boyfriend says he dosnt ever want to talk to me again, and you know what? i was still ok. i was smiling and i was happy. and you know why? cause i couldnt do ANYTHINg about it. i mea really...its kinda a good feeling to know that your ok with someone just cause you cant fix it. i know i messed up in school but there was nothing i could do to change it.i dont know its a good feeling
i just wish everyone would be happy.
the end.
everyone keeps saying how much they dont like lying or being hurt. or not opening up or keeping secrets and this and that. and well id like to remind you all. that well, you have all done it all. i mean, not just how everyone does it to people but like really mean stuff.
if you dont remember, this whole year was a lie to me. everything i was ever told was a lie - or a secret. now im sorry, but that is NOT my fault that people felt they had to do that. its wrong no matter what to lie to your so called best friends.
im saying this because well, people "dont perticularly like me" because they say i cause to much drama. now i would like to bring everyone back to when it all began. people lied to ME, people went behind MY back, people treated ME like shit. when that whole time all i did was be a friend to you all. just because i dont like when people lie, go behind my back and treat me like shit (and i dont let them, no, so therefore sure i cause a fight but i would HAVE done it for any of you if i thoguht someone was treating you like shit too) dosnt mean that i "cause all the drama" and yes i said HAVE done it for any of you because really, the fact that people dont like me cause of that is kinda lame. i just want everyone to think back on this year like REAL hard and tell me what i did wrong to my friends. becase even me being jelous of meg n lysh was never wrong. it was and is perfectly normal to be jelous when your best friends starts to drop u for someone else. and i know all of you have felt that way....EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU. therefore, i dont count that.and really, after you consider this year, maybe it will make u step back and think about how you have judged me. i did nothing but be a good friend to everyone. sure i messed up from time to time but everyone does. but i never "back stabbed" anyone. there is only one time i can ever think about something and i stepped right up and faced my consiquences (shut the hell up and sound it out ok?)
i guess i just hate not how everyone is fighting, but how everyone is being so hypocrytical....nothing can get solved that way.
when really, i dont think anything is gonna get completly solved which kinda sucks.BUT i have also been thinking....
i am sure i wrote this in here earlier but its the seriousness truth in my life. like the only thing i can REALLY know i think right now.cause even though im ok with people again, i cant really trust them anymore.
i am honestly tryint to live in this "whatever' kinda way. not like i dont give a shit about my life but like....hey, im here, im gonna have fun, im not gonna be a bitch in the process btu once something happens and you try to make it right u cant do anything else.
i mean ok...the first 2 weeks of summer let me tell you...i found out i got not 1 but 2 Ds in school, i had -90$ in the bank, none of my friends were getting along, one of my best friends and ex boyfriend says he dosnt ever want to talk to me again, and you know what? i was still ok. i was smiling and i was happy. and you know why? cause i couldnt do ANYTHINg about it. i mea really...its kinda a good feeling to know that your ok with someone just cause you cant fix it. i know i messed up in school but there was nothing i could do to change it.i dont know its a good feeling
i just wish everyone would be happy.
the end.