(no subject)

[bssnowboards]

sorry o don't have a pitty party all the time but here one goes

who do you think your kidding,
you don't think i see through your lies

everytime its the same thing,
what have i one to deserve
to deserve this thing that isn't even happening

(it isn't happening........ but oh, you know it is)

where did i go wrong.

am i not good enough
am i not bad enough

why can't i be enough

i don't want anything from you
i just want things to be the way they used to be
the way they really should have been
the way i want them to be

if they were it wouldn't even matter
i would still feel the same

useless
unwanted

alone

i will go on
pretending just like you

pretending everything is fine

that we just don't have the time

to bad its all just a big fat grey lie

i think to myself- its me, im being selfish

but i really don't think i am.

but im sure your not selfish

you do care about me

and not only when it benifits you

I can't believe you think i can't see

its rediculous the position im in

if i speak up you will laugh in my face and have a reason to act how you have been

if i don't you are in the clear all the same.

this is the game that has been played my whole life.

I should just give up and take my place.

My place twoards the back of the line

and to those who lag behind me

Forgive me for my grey lies, but it seems we all do the same.

all except for you in front of me.

I wish i could be content.

Would i be content if i had waht i wanted

or would i always want more

I guess i must lower myself

to find this answer for sure