(extremely loud & incredibly close, II)
he spread my legs. his palms pressed gently at the insides of my thighs. my thighs pressed back. his palms pressed out. birds were singing in the other room. we were looking for an acceptable compromise. the next week he held the backs of my legs, and the next week he was behind me. it was the first time i had ever made love. i wondered if he knew that. it felt like crying. i wondered, why does anyone ever make love? i looked at the unfinished sculpture of my sister, and the unfinished girl looked back at me. why does anyone ever make love? we walked together to the bakery where we first met. together and separately. we sat at a table. on the same table, facing the windows. i did not need to know if he could love me. i needed to know if he could need me.