I like cows.

[bshack]

oh man! did i tell you about last sunday? well, i was walking along the road, simply minding my own business, when out of nowhere...my nemesis, Franchesca pops up. alright, so, she's talkin about how she like...breeds hamsters or something...and how, like...one of them got eaten by a cat...and i'm all like, yeah i wish a cat would come along RIGHT NOW and gobble YOU up. so, then...like...outta NOWHERE!!!! this giant pussy comes up and just gobbles her down. so, i'm all like...WHOO! FRANCHESCA'S GONE! YEEEAH! then i do my happy dance, and keep walking down the street. then...i notice that darned furry feline's following me. i'm all like...WTF?!...whatever. so, i keep walking... then...outta NOWHERE!!! just UNEXPECTEDLY!! he GOBBLES ME UP! then i was all like... well, this sucks. i'm in a cat. so, like...i get to his tummy...and i'm all like...rummaging through the heaping piles of garbage in his stomach. so, like...i find a light, and i like, turn it on so, like...i turn it on, and almost poo in my pants, because lo and behold, there's Franchesca, smiling her peppy smile at me. gah. scared me to death and back. TWICE!!! so...she starts telling me about all the things her and her little hamsters do. so, ya know...after about a minute and a half of this torture...i can't take it anymore. so, i start banging my head mercilessly into the lining of the cat's stomach, until i think blood is about to come out of my ears. so, FINALLY she stops. then...we sat in silence for a few... then...she noticed a piano in the corner. so...she goes over to it... sits down...and starts thinking. then...she starts singing a song she just made up about me. it was sickening. something about how good of a friend i am, and how fabulously wonderful the world is. (talk about pukesville U.S.A.) aaaanyways... so, by the time she finishes her song...i'm all like... AGH! IM GETTING OUT OF HERE!!! and she's all like...well, how're you gonna do that? and i'm all ike...well.... like* i'm goin out the same way all this cat's food goes out...through...well, "the southern aperture"... so...i head off in search of the cats bung-hole... and meanwhile that little snitch sits there, giggling at me. like a young school girl...just giggling away. so, this whole giggle fit lasts about 10 minutes...and finally, i'm just fed up with it. i walked over to her...glared...and asked what on EARTH could be so funny... so...she keeps giggling. and by that time, i'm about ready to just reach out and biatch slap her. so, she points over to a corner...by the piano... i'm all like...WTF?!?!, but i went to check it out anyways... so, like...i get there... and like... guess what it was? i look up, and see a bright red, glowing sign...that says "EXIT" so, i'm pretty pissed off at that Francesca chick, so i just open the door and start to walk out. well, yeah, bad idea. so, like...i'm just steppin' out...and all of a sudden...there's no ground. so i'm like...shiiiit. i'm in a 10-story tall cat, and i'm fallin' from the 4th floor. so, by the time i finish that statement, i'm on the ground. remarkably enough, i'm not hurt. wanna know why? SHIT! yes, i landed in that precious warm pussy poo.

tune in next week for "Brandon gets laid". This has been, story time with slim.