Comments | bsg_slashathon: "The Sign" (Simon/Hotdog, R)

demonqueen666 in bsg_slashathon

"The Sign" (Simon/Hotdog, R)

Mar 23, 2008 18:24

Title: The Sign
Pairing: Simon/Brendan "Hotdog" Costanza
Rating: R for sex, dubious consent
Prompt: #6, stock image
Length: 2,510 words
Summary: It said "keep out", so you did.

( The Sign )

fic: hotdog/simon, event: blind ficathon

Comments 6

pairatime March 24 2008, 03:14:58 UTC

wow, dark and hard but very good

demonqueen666 March 24 2008, 03:42:14 UTC

Thank you :)

cynthia_arrow March 25 2008, 01:40:08 UTC

Ooh. Interesting. We don't get to see enough of the Simons, nor do we get many peeks inside Hot Dog's head, so this is cool. And I can totally see it happening.

I like how you keep to the pronoun 'it' throughout, even when this Hot Dog consciousness is willing to use the name label 'Simon.' It keeps that edge of alienness that makes the encounter as creepy as it's supposed to be (Its lips brush on the side of his throat). But yet, such tension, too. Bravo.

demonqueen666 April 16 2008, 02:57:03 UTC

(Wow, late reply. Sorry.)

I've always been intrigued by both Simon and Hotdog in canon and how they're somewhat under-utilized in the show (something that seems to be sealed fate for the former, now) and so basically decided to use this challege as excuse to write them both, smushed together.
But I'm glad you thought it all worked out okay, with the tension and the pronoun use and everything. Thank you!

millari March 26 2008, 00:43:30 UTC

I like how you slowly reveal what exactly happened to cause these two to interact, and then once you do, everything suddenly speeds up and intensifies. It's like a rubber band being slooowly stretched out and then suddenly snapped back.

I also found the description of him lying there in the bed, feeling nauseous from all the lights and the pain and the anxiety of what he's going through. And it was an interesting choice to have the machine be really trying to connect to Hotdog's humanity, and the human really trying to limit Simon to the parameters of machine. Created such a subtle, painful tension between them, besides all the other obvious tension of the circumstances.

I really liked the pathos of this line:
But he isn’t one of them: he’s Hotdog, the experienced rookie, the Fleet wash-out that got lucky enough to get a second chance when everybody better got killed.Poor Hotdog. Bodie Olmos does really does seem to play the character that way - like despite the bravado gave him his callsign, he doesn't really believe in himself ( ... )

demonqueen666 April 16 2008, 03:04:19 UTC

(Late comment reply, sorry!)

The build-up/speed-up was sort of an incidental by-product of just how the story ended up being written, honestly. I always find it interesting and rewarding when things just kind of happen like that during the writing process.

Bodie Olmos does really does seem to play the character that way - like despite the bravado gave him his callsign, he doesn't really believe in himself too too much.

I always did get that sense from him too (obviously, or I wouldn't have written him that way), so it's relieving and empowering to hear that other people are reading that vibe off him too.