Fade Away, for rebelliousrose

[bsg_remix_mods]

Title: Fade Away
Author: trovia
Summary: "She can’t even curl up into herself on her rack. The guards would think she’s malfunctioning. She doesn’t know if they’d be wrong."
Characters: Sharon, Gaeta, Helo
Pairings: Sharon/Helo
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Hera's supposed death, so please beware possible miscarriage triggers
Title, Author and URL of original

Comments

[rebelliousrose]

Oh, WOW!!! This is so much better than mine; I didn't say mine wasn't good, just that it wasn't my best. But this is GREAT- you have so many nuances and lines and nuances of emotion.....I have no idea what to praise first. I didn't have any real expectation of what would be remixed, just that like the one I wrote, it said something to you that wanted more attention or evolution.

(And yet again, the feeling that everyone will remix better than me rears an ugly head...)

I really like your style; I like the spareness of the numbering and the way you framed it. You and I both use a lot of words, but I can tell that you use them as precisely as I do- never repeating an important word in the story. You say you stole the good lines, but the whole thing is so organic that nothing says to me "that was mine" in any way- it's yours, and a gorgeous whole.

Things that speak to me specifically (and there are a LOT of them):

I like the repetition of the polished boots; it makes it clear that that's Gaeta in the first vignette as well.

He’s

[trovia]

I'm sort of surprised you didn't end on this- it's so incredibly powerful, and in a way, this version is more about Gaeta and his wounds than Sharon and hers. I really, really like what you have done with this. Can I send you my current remix and you can fix that? ;}

Hee. You have no idea how hard I laughed when I first read this. ;)

Sure I stole all the good lines. I broke your whole fic down literature analysis style, and then I gleefully copy&pasted all lines I could even remotely reuse into the appropriate chapter, and voilà, I had an outline. :) "Limn" is a beautiful fic. It says a lot in so few words (and made me wonder why Gaeta is even doing this, too). As you can see, I myself needed a lot more words to say basically the same. It was like unfolding an origami butterfly. Also, it was lots of fun. Plus, I was reluctant to tackle your Helo fic because I couldn't write Helo half as well.

Thank you for your lovely feedback. I'm very glad you liked it. And thanks for providing me with such an excellent source!

[brennanspeaks]

Very nice! I love the gradual transformation you show in this piece. Gaeta, as a relatively static character, makes a good reference point for Sharon's recovery. It's a very nuanced portrayal of both characters, and I quite enjoyed it. I love how you took lines from the original and made them mean something new.

Cheers!

[blue_crow]

I like how you drew the original out into a longer and more nuanced piece, turning what seemed like a fleeting and somewhat inconsequential encounter into a fleeting and inconsequential friendship. I also liked how you really seem to have studied the original and teased details into more significant character motivations.

[grey_sw]

Great work -- Sharon's life in the brig is something that never got enough attention on the show, and you've done a wonderful job fleshing it out. I love the subtle flashes of insight into Gaeta, Baltar, the Cylons, and even Adama.

I also like how resonant with irony this piece is. Thinking about where Gaeta, Sharon, Helo, and Hera end up really adds another dimension to it!

[lls_mutant]

This is lovely. So melancholy and angry and sad... it captures what I imagine Sharon's mind must have been like perfectly at that time. And her gradual healing, and Gaeta's part-role in it... very subtle and (as others have said) nuanced.

Great stuff!