The Enemy Within

[bsg_remix_mods]

Title: The Enemy Within - Remix, by mserradaSummary: Set during the Pegasus arc, Cain gives Kara an order to execute

Comments

[scifishipper]

Wow. I love that you explored the depth of Kara's struggle, getting inside her head to examine the loyalties to Cain. I also admire that you gave her insight (or at least as much as she could have) to her own blind following of Cain's order. It's what was really necessary to bring the idea to life. I'm happy that you showed the confrontation with Cain and Kara and the way she had to think on her feet to keep herself alive. You showed what Kara learned through the experience - that was something really important to explore.

Thank you for this. It's going to keep me thinking for quite a while. Bravo.

[callmeonetrack]

Goodness, knowing what comes next makes the ending that much more conflicting and poignant.

What a great exploration into the myriad confusing issues at work. I love that you had Kara be smart enough to out-think (strategize) Cain and think that's very her. Love that Lee trusts her and just walks away too. Nice job.

[mserrada]

I was so hoping that people would catch what scene would naturally follow my ending and it would work. Thanks for letting me know it did :)

I debated showing Lee accepting Kara's promise and trusting her enough to just leave, but decided it actually might work better not shown.

[mserrada]

Glad the tension worked! I tend to get long-worded and am always afraid my pacing drags, so happy you didn't think so :)

I originally had a longer Kara/Kendra scene, but it seemed to slow the pace (see above ;^) so I pared it down but couldn't nip it out complete. Happy I didn't now. Thanks for the R&R.

[sunshine_queen]

The most impressive thing about this fic, in my opinion, is how my loyalties were tugged in all directions. I felt for everyone here- Admiral Helena Cain, Kara, Kendra Shaw, and, most of all, Gina. You did a wonderful job at giving everyone at least glimmers of humanity, which is something not all authors would do. Great job!

[mserrada]

One of the things that makes BSG a standout for me is how multi-layered the characters are.

I've always felt that people have reasons for what they do. We may not agree or like them, but the reasons exist and if we only understood them, we might have fewer conflicts. So, I try to bring some of that understanding to the page. Especially since canon BSG didn't go the White/Black hat route either.

I really appreciate your taking time to R&R :)

[lorrainemarker]

What a great tangle of emotional relationships you wove through the story. Kara's friendship with Helo, the tangled mess of her relationships with Bill and Lee Adama, her growing hero worship of Helena Cain made an amazing juxtaposition with the relationships on Pegasus between Cain and Gina, Cain and her crew, the crew and everyone else. I feel like you told several different intertwined stories of those relationships and the moral quandaries each presented. Lovely job.

[mserrada]

At heart BSG was always about the relationships, and such conflicted and complex ones at that.

Thank you for your R&R and I'm glad you found the interactions and knots interesting :)