Discipline (the Regret mix), by puszysty

Apr 24, 2010 16:05

Title: Discipline (the Regret mix)
author: puszysty
Summary: After Gina is revealed to be a cylon, Admiral Cain looks back on the events of a few days prior
Characters: Helena Cain, Gina Inviere
Pairings: Cain/Gina
Rating: R
Beta Thanks: safenthecity
Title, Author and URL of original story: Discipline by rayruz.


She hadn’t wanted to believe it. In a world where everything else had gone to hell, you didn’t want to believe that what little you had left was all just an illusion. But Helena Cain was also a believer in hard evidence, and it didn’t get any harder than this.

“Get that thing off my bridge.”

It was hard to imagine that just a few nights before, Cain had beckoned her, it rather, to her quarters. The thought made her cringe.

I will have to see you in my quarters…

She knew Gina would come. It was a game they played, a game of cat and mouse. A breath into her ear, a beckoning tone, Helena knew that was all it would take. That’s why she chuckled as she walked away. It was never direct; the words “I want you” or “frak me” were never spoken. The orders and formalities had developed into a code of their very own.

And sure enough, Gina had come. Promptly at 2200 hours, she had slinked into Helena’s quarters, a report on the navigation system in her hands as a guise for anyone who might be watching outside.

“Here I didn’t think you’d make it Ms. Inviere.” That was a lie, but Gina already knew that. The mask of formality didn’t end as soon as the door closed, though Helena would be unable to explain why if asked. Her longstanding inability to let down her guard perhaps. Looking back upon that reflection now, it appeared that for once, she had actually let down her guard too much.

“Just following orders Admiral.” Gina set the report down on a table and began unbuttoning her jacket.

“Please, allow me.” Helena finished undoing the buttons on Gina’s jacket, and slid it off her arms. Gina flinched, which seemed odd.

“Tense?” Helena asked.

“Long day,” Gina replied. Helena had the feeling she was lying, but she didn’t really care. She wanted it too much at that moment, and she wasn’t going to let conversation distract her.

“Why don’t you let me help you relax then?” asked Helena, sliding her hand up Gina’s blouse. Her abs were taught for a moment, but then relaxed as Helena slid her hand higher. Something was definitely on Gina’s mind, but Helena didn’t ask what. If she wanted to tell her, she would. Helena had learned earlier it was best not to pry, it only made Gina clam up more.

Helena deftly removed Gina’s blouse, then her bra. Any tension Gina had shown earlier seemed to disappear as she responded to Helena’s touch. Helena ran a hand over Gina’s supple breasts, taking her time around each one. Then she traced a finger down Gina’s thigh, and back up towards the growing warmth between her legs. It always managed to drive Gina crazy, which was why Helena enjoyed doing it. It was fun to watch her usually stolid lover lose control. Given the look of anticipation in her eyes, Gina probably felt the same about her.

All of a sudden, Gina turned on like a switch. Whether it was the reminder of their encounter in the hall earlier that day or just hormones, whatever had been bothering Gina was just gone. Not that Helena minded any. She grinned and led her lover to the bed.

Helena cringed as the memory ran swiftly through her mind. She looked around the CIC at her officers, fighting and dying to drive off the cylons after the end of the world. Had this been what was on Gina’s mind the other night? The bitch.

“I’ll be in my quarters,” said Helena, excusing herself from the bridge. The last thing she wanted was to give away her emotions to her crew. Whatever those emotions were.

She needed a shower. Even though it had been a few days, she still felt the urge wash all traces of her off. She dared not look at the bed, or her desk, for that matter, as she made her way to the bathroom. The line that separated the past from the present was too blurred in this room. Her first urge was to toss the place, erupt in a frustrated rage and make a mess of her quarters. But Helena had learned a long time ago that throwing things was not the way to deal with anger, not if you really wanted to get something out of it. Still…

Helena chucked a paperweight across the room. A gift from Jurgen, another reminder of what happened when you trusted people. It shattered with a clash against the bulkhead. She didn’t feel any better.

Helena pulled open a drawer to find a towel. A pair of Gina’s- its- panties lay on top of the stack of laundry. How could she have been so blind not to see it? All the secrets, the silence, the perhaps too eager drive to have sex then talk later, if she felt like talking at all. Helena had always prided herself on being able to read people, why not now, why not when it mattered? How had a cylon been able to fool Helena Cain? And not even with guile, but with sex. She’d lost her head. She’d lost herself. And her ship had suffered because of it.

As Helena entered the bathroom and glanced at herself in the mirror, she realized, it wasn’t the cylon she was the most furious with. It was herself. And if there was one person she would never allow herself to second guess, refuse to be disappointed in, to ever think anything less of, it was Helena Cain.

The cylon was going to pay for this.
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