Recap 2.16 - Sacrifice
As usual, I don't know how to do a recap that isn't long-winded. But this time there's a hell of a lot of plot to cover, and it could have been twice this long. I've learned a thimbleful of restraint! Without further ado...
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We open on a computer screen, and a document entitled "The Cylon M.O." Oh, good, someone's figured out what that is, finally. The camera pans across a wall of news clippings and post-it notes, most of which appear to focus on various number Eights. (Sharon's in charge, really? That doesn't seem plausible...) Suddenly there's a photo and before we can nitpick that this frame has corners, we recognize HEY, that's Nurse Colleen McMurphy from China Beach! Cue The Supremes! And a guy who looks a lot like Michael Nouri in The Hidden, i.e. HOT. Until suddenly, he's in a spaceship, and he looks more like Craig Ferguson (no less hot) as the Cylons attack and he's sucked out into space. Oh. Well, that would explain Nurse Colleen's apparent anti-Cylon counter-M.O. A Post-it of note (heh) on the wall indicates that she also knows there's a Valerii copy currently cooling her heels on Galactica.
Over in Admiral Adama's bachelor pad, the old man's pow-wowing with President Roslin and Billy over news on the wireless that Galactica's harboring a Cylon. (Ha, Nurse Colleen, you're not so special!) Adama is insistent that Sharon holds military asset value and he'd pop a cap right between her eyes if he thought she posed a threat. "Well, um, sir, like maybe you should tell the fleet that," Billy snips. Laura shoots him a "Whoa there, tiger!" look, but doesn't seem to disagree. Which she confirms in the hallway, while also praising her aide's new-found vim and vigor. "Aw, shucks boss, tweren't nothin," Billy demurs. And he offers more political advice about handling the Sharon info leak that Laura is sooo down with. And then he has to go, because...
...Dualla walked by, and he corners her in her quarters and produces his debate team ring. OMG, debate nerd cuteness! And apologizing for the lack of bling in his offering, he proceeds to slip it on the wrong ring finger. OMG double dorkitude cuteness - he'd probably love to give her a sports team ring, only he never played sports! Dee stands there, slack-jawed and incapable of replying as Billy pours out his heart and asks her to marry him. And then, with a minimum of stammers, Dee sweetly yet firmly declines his proposal. (Leaving out the "because it would interfere with my impending plans to frak the CAG" part.) She departs to pack frilly underthings get back to work, leaving Billy standing alone to contemplate retriving his bashed heart off the floor.
Cut to Cloud 9, the fleet's number one choice for clandestine hook-ups! Dee is now sitting in the cocktail lounge looking fly in a low-cut sparkly pink number, yammering on about how mortifying Billy's proposal was. And lo and behold, she's spilling it to Apollo, who's twirling a chili pepper in his glass to indicate his hotness. (And he played sports and was on the debate team, we bet. Swot.) Meanwhile Nurse Colleen is loitering around the door of the lounge when Ellen Tigh sashays in and nearly plows her over, then makes straight for the bar. Naturally. Where she bumps into Lee who's gone to fetch another round and immediately tries to smile off the "last person I needed to run into tonight" squick factor. Then Nurse Colleen starts to spot-check various corners of the bar...ooh, look, there's a shady-looking non descript white guy who's obviously just minding his own beeswax... ooh, and there's another. And another! Frak. This isn't going to end well, is it?
Dualla is trying to remain inconspicuous while she waits for her hot date to return with more hooch when a friendly face appears over her shoulder. Yeah, it's Billy, because... yeah. Awww-kward! Which is exactly what Lee's thinking when he returns, and the three share an "Awwwk-ward!" moment full of excruciating cringe. Billy's all, "Wow. I'm the prize ass of the fleet." Lee's all, "Wow, this has never happened to me before with at least half a dozen of my brother's girlfriends (though unfortunately, not Starbuck)." He excuses himself so that Billy can deliver a crushing pout blow to Dee about how, "You know honey, I get it if you don't want to marry me. Them's the breaks, eh? I'm a big boy. But you should have given me the whole 411!" Dee... well, shit. Ain't got a comeback for that.
Back at the bar, Lee's suffering through Ellen waxing philosophic about the people we choose to fall in love with (yeah, it's rich), changing the subject when he notices Nurse Colleen and decides to press barfly Mrs. Tigh for an impromptu sitrep. Nope, she's never seen the lurking redhead before, and gawds, did you see her fug outfit?! Dress code police! Fortunately for Lee his spidey-sense begins to tingle and he clocks a Glock shoved down the front of Nurse Colleen's pants. DO NOT WANT. Appealing to Ellen's baser instincts (like there's any other kind) to set his cunning plan in motion, he invites the cougar to join him in the lavatory, and predictably Ellen flies off that barstool in a nanosecond. Once they're inside the loo, Lee shushes her before she can get her paws on the real Arrow of Apollo, and scopes out the situation from behind the cracked door. Three men (who we'll refer to from here on out as Tom, Dick and Harry) and Nurse Colleen. Could be worse, but it ain't good. Especially not when Nurse Colleen decides she's done standing around and ready to get this dinner theater production of Dog Day Afternoon rolling! The gang fires their warning shots, sending Dualla and the others ducking for cover. And screaming. There's plenty of screaming.
Back on Galactica, Adama's having one of his high-priority intel sessions with prized asset Sharon, whose hair looks awesome. Maternity suits ya, mama! Though Bill won't answer her repeated questions about whether or not the fleet knows she's in hack on Galactica, she throws him a bone about some areas on the grid where the Cylons might be likely to strike and how the fleet should be prepared for the enemy to adapt. Unborn Baby Agathon kicks up a storm, making Mommy uncomfortable enough for Bill to take pity on her and give her the info she wants: Yes, they know you're here. Now back to your cell with ya. Saul appears to warn his bromantic partner about the dangers of trusting their prisoner so acutely, the first of his "Ohhhh, irony, the things we know now!" moments in this particular episode of Refrak.
Back in the Cloud 9 gents', Lee's ignoring Ellen's protests of "Why you gimme no sugar? Why don't we just talk to them?" and preparing to sneak through a hatch and continue his super-sekrit-spy shenanigans. He grabs her foggy drink, muttering that he needs the dry ice, and that's more than Ellen can handle... no booty and no booze? That's a dealbreaker, flyboy. Apollo scrambles to lure her back from certain doom, but she's already out the door crying "Don't shoot! I'm the XO of Galactica's wife!" BFD, sez Nurse Colleen... "Get in line with the others, blondie. No, wait... wife of the XO part is intriguing. Mental note, use that later." "Oh, but you're making such a mistake!" Ellen protests. "I totally know Tom Zarek, too, and like he's a famous terrorist... I could introduce you!" Dee and Billy are *eye-roll*.
Now, don't you think it's about time someone started issuing some demands? So does Team Terror, and CIC's got a ship to ship call from Nurse Colleen who we learn is actually called Sesha Abinell. (But who are we kidding, she's Nurse Colleen in our hearts!) After she lets Adama and Tigh hear Ellen screech in panic, she lays it out. "Here's the sitch, Adama. The Cloud 9 lounge is mine, dig? And I've got a load of your people over here making Hershey swirls in their shorts, and with good reason because I'm going to start shooting them unless I get what I want. Because this fleet is fakakta, and your military is meshuggah, and you're harboring the very bitch who tried to bump you off, Cochise. Send me Sharon Valerii so I can avenge my dead husband the fleet can have justice and we'll forget this ever happened! You have two hours." Impressive, coming from some bird no one's ever heard of until now, but Adama's not amused. He and Tigh ask Gaeta for a rundown on who they've got over there to handle this mishegoss, and Felix says "Well, Captain Adama, and some marines... ooh, and Starbuck! Holla, ass-kickings pending!" Bill agrees, as he requests Captain Thrace on the horn immediatement.
Over in the service duct of a dreamy ambrosia-like hue, Lee is searching for just the right oxygen sensor to work a bit of techno-flirtation on, hoping the carbon dioxide from the dry ice will fool the ship into thinking the lounge is losing air, requiring a rescue. He picks his victim, tips Ellen's drink toward it and blows... ohhh, so gently. And the O2 sensor titters, blushes and submits easily. No surprise. Although Harry, whom Team Terror have sent to look for "the other guy who was at the bar" is about to get a surprise of his own as he searches the men's room stalls, only to quickly faceplant into the floor after Lee bashes his noggin in from behind. Righteous.
Outside the lounge, Gunny Burrell and his marine buddies storm down the hall looking peeved at having their R&R interrupted, except that they're about to plot some major whoop-ass with a smokin' hot Starbuck in a slinky black satin top. Could be worse! Inside the lounge, on the other hand, whoop-ass is about to be thwarted as Lee emerges from the toilet with Harry at gunpoint, just wanting a little chat. Chat shmat, Nurse Colleen says, instantly picking up on the body language between him and Dee and commanding Dick to aim his gun at her in turn. "Um, hello," Lee protests, "kill my sweetie and I kill your goon, dumbass." Huffs Nurse Colleen: "Bullcrap, Daddy's boy, you won't pull the trigger. My guy will." Lee, ever the peacemaker, blinks first and joins the peanut gallery. Dee's face is all "You tried, honey, thanks" while Billy's is all "Yeah, thanks for nothing, jackass. Well, I mean, I totally would have tried that myself if I felt comfortable handling a gun. But maybe I will pluck up the courage later...hmmm." Finally, the O2 sensor recovers from its Leegasm to remember it was supposed to go FUBAR, and it does. "Oh, gosh, the air's compromised. You probably nicked a line shooting the place up, Calamity Jane. Better get the admiral to send someone over here to fix it," Lee informs Nurse Colleen, who just sighs and thinks, "Great. More problems. I wouldn't be in this mess if they'd offered CSI to me instead of Marg..."
Adama and Tigh, meanwhile, are prepping Starbuck and her team of marines for their assault when Nurse Colleen's back on the line, clueing them in on the O2 crisis. Kara gets to listen in as Adama replies "Damn, that's a pisser, lady. I guess you all die, because we don't negotiate with terrorist scum like you." Nurse Colleen says, "Gee, that's too bad. See I've got no problem with dying to see this through, but did I mention your son's here? You willing to see him suffocate to protect your little Cylon prize?" Kara immediately busts out the "WTFBBQ, Lee?! Oh, this bitch is toast" face, while a protracted back-and-forth between Adama and Nurse Colleen (which you won't see capped because it's basically the same two shots over and over) has them bobbing and weaving over the finer points of justice and revenge. He won't accept that this is about more than her desire to avenge her husband's death, yet he understands her pain. She's done with trying to rationalize the military's mistakes, though, going all the way back to the defense mainframe being compromised on the day of the attacks. "You're being played, admiral," she barks. Time to pony up. Prince of irony Colonel Tigh is fine with the not giving in to terrorists plan but feels the need to remind Bill one more time that he's protecting a machine... not the sweet little nugget they thought they knew once. "Stow it," Bill says... "You don't think I know that? Now let's get someone in there to fix the whatchamathing."
Starbuck and the marines are still chillin' in the corridor when the electrician arrives to fix the air. "Ooh, look at that... your little electrician's cap goes perfectly with my outfit!" Kara coos. "Gentlemen, let's raise some hell." Ding-dong, repairman...er, repair-lady calling! Team Terror lets a freshly jumpsuited Kara enter the room and Nurse Colleen holds her at gunpoint while Harry frisks her. Over in the corner, Lee's blank face belies the fact that he's clearly thinking "Woohoo, Daddy sent Kara! ♥ Now we can play super-sekrit-spies together, it'll be just like Colonial Day!" Except Ellen, whose purpose as usual is to ruin everything, startles the moment she recognizes Kara. No sooner does Dick twig to this fact than Kara busts out her hidden sidearms and goes all John Woo up in this motherfrakker. She plugs Harry, who goes down like a sack of potatoes, but doesn't let up her fire long enough to avoid hitting Lee, who appears to be dashing to grab a gun but ends up with a round right in his chest. Kara hardly has a moment to register "O GODS, I shot Not-My-Boyfriend!" before Gunny Burrell gets to his feet and hustles her to the door, getting shot in both legs for his trouble. And the door to the lounge slams shut again. And Lee's bleeding. A lot.
The hostages, including Billy, cautiously get up, all except Dualla who didn't waste a second scrambling to Lee and trying to apply pressure to his wound. She screams at Billy to grab something to make a bandage, and Dick - because he's second in command, and Harry's dead and Tom has been uselessly cowering for most of the episode - pipes up with "Hey, I didn't tell you to move, Opie!" Billy taps right into that sass he was slinging around in the admiral's office earlier and replies, "No you didn't, but guess what, asshole?... Adama's son dies, and you get squat. Capice?" Nurse Colleen, reluctantly, agrees that Opie's got a point, so stand down Dick and chuck the boy a dish rag or something. Out in the corridor of rescue!FAIL, Kara is on the comm with Papadama and barely keeping it together. "Yeah, um we killed a badguy, which is good... um, but we lost a couple of our guys...I think...I don't know, boss, because I SHOT LEE omgitwastotallyanaccidentbut I SHOT LEEEE!" Bill, because he's Bill, scarcely bats an eyelash... yet EJO, because he's EJO, manages to still telegraph to the audience that the motherfrakking gloves are off now. Inside the lounge, Dee struggles to control the makeshift bandage material, and her emotions while staring at Apollo's pretty, pitiful face. And somehow, Billy checks his pride at the door, crouches down and comforts her as she weeps for the man she stood him up for. "He's going to make it," he whispers, holding her close... and that, ladies and gentlemen, is why Billy Keikeya is officially the best very-recently-ex boyfriend in the history of the Colonies. Respect! Gods, if anyone deserves to make it out of this alive, it's Billy. It would really suck if something awful were about to happen to him. Wait, why's he looking at Dick's gun like that? Oh, for frak's sake...
Sharp left-turn back to Galactica's brig, where Adama's putting the doubts others have tried to seed in him about Sharon to the test. "You playin' me?" he asks. "How many times have I saved your asses?" she answers. "Come on, toss me a crumb, kid...names of the other Cylons in the fleet would be a nice start," he prods her. No-go, says Baby Mama. Bill, remarkably, is okay with that... because, you see, he's known exactly the limits of trusting Sharon all along. And he feels there's just enough wiggle room of usefulness there to justify rolling the hard six, as he's about to do...
Lounge of Increasingly Angsty Terrorist Activities. Dick belatedly finds a conscience long enough to try to assure Billy and Dee that Lee will make it, but Billy's all "Oh, gosh, thanks for the concern. Doesn't change the fact that the Widow Terror over there feels like the world owes her an explanation." Dick defends Nurse Colleen by pointing out that her husband - who, by the way, was his brother - was a good man. "Oh, no doubt," Billy points out, "but I lost a brother too, on Picon. He was a good man, you don't see me shooting up bars trying to make someone pay. How you like them apples?" Back on Galactica, Laura has finally joined the party in CIC to attempt to put this all into perspective. Allowing themselves to be swayed by terrorist strong-arming could weaken the power structure of the fleet permanently, even if it means people they love are in mortal danger. "I get it, they've got your son, Bill...and your wife, Saul. Hell, Billy's the closest thing I've got to family now." (Ohh, man...) Adama kinda-sorta seems on board with Roslin's ruling, but suddenly Nurse Colleen's back on the line - and Dick's waving a gun in Ellen's face - so they've got to make a decision fast. Despite the president's solid argument, Bill agrees to hand over Sharon on one strict (and as we're about to discover, extremely sneaky) condition. Nurse Colleen isn't crazy about the caveat, but takes the bait. Saul listens to his wife's cries and stares down the old man with a distinct look of "I hope to gods you know what the frak you're doing..."
And this is what Bill's doing: Hopping the next Raptor to Cloud 9 to finish this in person. He runs into Starbuck in the hallway, her eyes awash with guilt, but she still wants to help. "Sucks to be you right now, Kara, I feel you," he replies, "But grab a seat, I got this." Inside the lounge, Billy is finally starting to verbalize the vigilante hero urges he's been having all night, which is just about more than Dee can stomach right now. "You're not a soldier!" she tries to warn him. Dick, meanwhile, is all "Hey, Colleen...um, Sesha, they sent the chopper and a million cubits! No, wait... damn. But they did send the Cylon. Squee!" The lounge door opens, and two officers wheel in a gurney containing a seriously rot-tastic looking corpse. Everyone in the audience has a hard time believing this is the same Sharon who was stonewalling Adama a few minutes ago, but the raw, gnawing hunger for revenge is too much for Nurse Colleen to think that clearly, and obviously she's seen Zombieland because she knows damn well to do the double-tap and make sure that toaster is dead as a doornail. Dick, on the other hand, has his head screwed on straight and points out that something ain't right... revealing a gnarly post-mortem stitch job on the body's chest. Now they know what we've already figured out: This Sharon is the wretched remains of Boomer. Baby Mama Sharon's very much alive and well on Galactica. And that right there is enough to make Nurse Colleen angrier than she is nowadays that she doesn't get to make out with Captain Tightpants on Desperate Housewives anymore. "Kill the girlfriend," she snarls...
...and just as Dualla looks up fearfully with a virtual bullseye on her forehead, Dick gets blown the frak away before he can do the deed. Blown the frak away by Billy! Huzzah! Only all the foreshadowing over the past forty minutes finally pays off and we see that Dick managed to pump lead into poor Billy's chest, too. Nooooo! About five seconds too late to prevent the further tragedy, the marines storm into the room and shoot Nurse Colleen to smithereens, and she martyrs herself stylishly across Boomer's corpse. Hot on the assault team's heels, Adama and the medics rush to Lee's side... which is a good thing, seeing as how Dee has completely abandoned her nurse's post to crawl over to Billy, who sadly no longer requires her gentle tending. And she sobs. And we sob. Damn, even Ellen Tigh is a sloppy wreck of tears. *wail*
And now it's the ugliest of uglies in BSG, a scene in Galactica's morgue. Because usually that means someone we care about has bit the big one, and this time the president is the erstwhile next of kin. She glares at Adama, asking him if this sorry excuse for a body is what he gave Team Terror. "It was a calculated risk," the old man determines. "It wasn't worth it," Laura hisses, before putting on her bravest face and walking toward the other side of the room where Billy's body lies cold and lifeless. Bringing herself to look at the young man who was so sharp as a tack and full of life that very morning, Laura completely falls to pieces and fumbles frantically for support. And if you could possibly attempt to narrow down just a handful of reasons why Mary McDonnell was robbed of an Emmy, this is surely one one of them. Laura regains her composure just enough that she can reach forward and, so very motherly, pluck a few stray hairs on Billy's head into place. "That's better," she sighs, before letting the tears flow again. "He was so young..." And now he's gone. And the poor boy won't know how his untimely death has opened the floodgates on a mighty quadrangle of shipper angst yet to come...
...Speaking of which, Lee's alive! Barely. And Dee is right there by his side, offering him comfort! Barely. Let's be honest, Apollo's barely hanging on to consciousness at this point, but he does spark to life just long enough to twine fingers with Dualla and make a crack that "It was a hell of a vacation." LULZ, Leemo. You're so cute when you're critically wounded. He starts to nod off again and Dee clutches his hand, demanding that he stay with her... she's not going anywhere, no sirree. Even if the greatest ex-boyfriend ever totally got himself shot to hell trying to protect her, this will not interfere with CAG-frakking. Nor will Starbuck, apparently, who even though she's sulking in the corner out of sight, clearly pining and backstroking in the ongoing sea of guilt, doesn't seem to have the guts to insert herself into this wee poignant moment. She's out the door, leaving the future Mr. and Mrs. Adama to the inevitable.
And what was it all for? So many lives lost, so much anguish.
The one person who might know the answer, lying in her cell gently caressing her pregnant belly, is Sharon.
And she's not talking.
(At least she's not talking now. Not that the eerie quality of this last scene is a red herring or anything, and Sharon's totally going to do them about eighty more solids before fully being accepted into the fold early next season. Nah, that'll never happen...)
GAH, BILLY'S DEAD, Y'ALL! THE END!!! DISCUSS THE FRAK OUT OF THIS SUCKER!