Mystery #22 Stacey and The Haunted Masquerade, Part II
Well. I personally think this plot would be far better suited to a highschool series. Maybe that's why Stacey leads the charge, since she's so sophisticated and all. Here's the rest, plus the answers to the super-tuff quiz... :)
Chapter 8: “The Ocho!” Claudia sits for the Arnolds. Everything is heavily decorated, including Mrs Arnold. Disappointingly, Stacey, no description of Claudia-clothes. Because it’s the Arnolds, there are two options: It’s-hard-out-there-for-a-twin fights, or inventing.This time it’s the latter. The scientific one invented a ghostbusting machine. There are hilarious shenanigans involving a squirrel. That’s it, rly.
Chapter 9: Sharon says she can’t remember what she had for dinner last night, let alone 28 years ago. No shit, bless her hemp-strewn soul. Her and Richard were only in sixth grade (which would make them…nearly forty in this book, ergo, forever) but manage to remember a Mr Brown dying at the Mischief Night dance, and girls crying in the halls. The curious squirrels decide to go to the library to look up old issues of the town newspaper. Stacey informs us that they’re old hands at the microfiche because they’ve used it before for “other mysteries.” I can’t imagine living in a world where every now and then, a mystery with an episodic structure will present itself to me which I am then compelled to solve. And refer to as a mystery. Anyway, they find their story, there was indeed a Halloween dance 28 years ago (The Groovy Tangerine was the band!) At some stage during the dance, the lights went out, the fire alarm went off, there was a stampede, where several students were injured and Mr Brown had a heartattack and died. Sorry bout the run-on sentence, but heavy stuff, man. This is a bit more full-on than a “ghost cat”. At lunchtime the next day they look at old SMS yearbooks. There is a picture of Mr Brown, but the girls quickly get distracted by how funny everyone looks back then. You know. Big hair, that sort of thing. Conveniently, they find one Micheal Rothman, and also a Jerome Wetzler.
Chapter 10: A special assembly is held for a presentation from a community theatre group about not giving in to peer pressure. Stacey waxes smug about how she’s already been through it with her that-ain’t-prune-juice ex-friends. However, it turns out to be fun and funny. There is one especially cool actress, who has “big expressive eyes and a head full of red-gold curls.” I wonder if, like Mal, she has any idea how pretty she is.
Suddenly the lights go out, and the students go crazy. It’s actually kind of unsettling. There is a scream, and Stacey is holding tight to Claudia and Jessi’s hands. Suddenly the lights go back on, and it turns out that Curly Red-Gold fell off the stage and broke her arm.
Later, Stacey pretends she’s from the SMS express and interviews Mr Wetzler about the budget, but tries to get him to talk about the dance. Not bad sleuthing, to be honest. She manages to find out about an 8th grade girl who was jilted at the dance…and never came back to school…before Wetzler runs away in a hurry. And thank goodness because I’m sick of typing his name.
Chapter 11: They are at lunch, and Logan is sitting with them AGAIN. He is Mary Anne’s boyfriend and all, but still. Well, I guess he would find Kristy’s lunch descriptions funny, and if the conversation turns dull (inevitably) he can always stare at Stacey’s well-filled-out chest. They discuss trying to find this mystery girl in the yearbook, but Kristy says if she left in October she wouldn’t be in it. Then Claudia interrupts about this gorgeous guy in 6th grade, Roger Casey, who had “laser-beam eyes.” Kristy’s all, wtf? But Claudia - smart! - says that he moved to Kansas and she was really miserable and when she went to look for his picture in the yearbook he wasn’t there, just a note saying he’d moved to Kansas. SO, they should go back to the yearbooks to look for a similar list of people who had left and it would narrow down their search. Um, I know it was the sixties or whatever, but “Herbert Franks” and “Mark Whipple?” Anyway those two unfortunates are among the six kids who left that year.
They have three girls to choose from - Julia Berkman, Elizabeth Connor, and Susan Hsia. Logan brings up that this one time he and Allan were “poking around in the basement” - a euphemism, mayhaps? - looking at student records. This is against the rules, and he devilishly suggests they go look now. Amazingly, they all agree. I bet Mary Anne’s kinda turned on. They agree to go after school, and just to keep things subtle, Mallory and Jessi come along for the ride too. Claudia’s all, “I’m better than ready, I’m prepared!” and brandishes a large bag of M’n’Ms. Oh Claudia, I love you. Of course, they find the files easily and don’t get caught. Mary Anne asks if Sioux Falls (where Susan Hsia transferred to in December) is in Iowa. Didn’t she go to Iowa with her grandparents? Or was it Ohio…Stacey finds Mr Rothman’s file, he was on the football team and had an extreme fear of heights.
Elizabeth Connor left suddenly in early November - and her address is where the Johanssens live now! It’s where Mary Anne is baby sitting tonight! Everything falls into place so easily!
Chapter 12: How convenient. Stacey is sitting for the Braddocks, and it’s okay with all the parents if she brings them over to Charlotte’s place. There is a weird moment where Stacey mentions the time she was house sitting for the Johanssens and “somebody else” was there. She says “believe me, it wasn’t an easy mystery to solve, but fortunately, everything turned out all right.” Way to be vague, Stacey. Really friggin’ vague.
The kids all want to play Ghostbusters which works out well for MA and Stacey who want to snoop around looking for evidence of Elizabeth Connor. What they’re expecting to find, I don’t know. I won’t bore you with the details, but eventually they find some height markings for Elizabeth on a doorframe (which had been lightly painted over) and in the basement a heart etched into the concrete that says “LC + MR.” Stacey has a kerching! moment and says that it’s Liz Connor plus Micheal Rothman. Curiouser and curiouser!
Chapter 13: This chapter is basically Carrie-lite crossed with a smidgen of Never Been Kissed. Actually, in all due fairness, this book was published before NBK. Perhaps Drew Barrymore was a fan of the BSC and got inspired. It’s a nice thought!While decorating the gym, Stacey witnesses Mr Rothman getting all sweaty and nervous and delegatory about having to climb up a ladder to hang streamers. Proof! He’s MR! She then goes straight up to him and he’s like What’s on your mind Stacey? And Stacey’s all, “Liz Connor. Liz Connor is on my mind.” DRAMATIC!!!
This is when the teacher-student involvement thing gets way weird. Instead of saying “oh that’s nice, is she one of your babysitting friends?” (because of course he would know of the illustrious BSC already) Micheal Roth sits her down and tells her the whole damn story. Jeebus. That’s some dumb teaching. Long story short, he was popular but nice as an 8th grader, and his friends bet him $10 that he wouldn’t take geeky Liz Connor to the dance. Because popularity is so important to him (ohhkay, I could make some kind of Wicked reference here but it’s pretty self-explanatory) he did it and asked her to the dance. She wore this ‘ridiculous, elaborate, babyish fairy princess costume.’ While her mother chopped carrots violently. Actually I’ve blocked most of Carrie from memory so I can’t even reference that accurately. I’m a failure! Anyway, he danced with her heaps so that no one could spill the secret to her. Then just before the last dance, she went to the “powder room” (would it kill him to say toilet?) and then when she came back - the band started playing Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow - and then he said he couldn’t do it anymore and threw the $10 on the floor. What with inflation and all, I guess it was a bit of money back then.
So, all the kids start laughing and Liz is crazy looking and then she runs out of the gym. A second later the power goes off, along with the fire alarm, and that’s when the stampede starts, and the teacher had a heart attack. Okay that’s genuinely a kind of creepy story. Mr Rothman says that’s why he volunteered for this one, so he could make sure it turned out okay.
Then - the next morning - they walk into the gym to find a dummy, dressed in a pink fairy princess costume, hanging by a noose from one of the basketball hoops. Can I get an “Aaaaaugggh!” MR says “Liz is back.” Oh, right. Now she’s back. And that rather pointed graffiti didn’t bring back any memories for you? Stacey says it was the three scariest words she’d ever heard. Huh. How about:
- “Those. Weren’t. Frookies.”
- “Robert likes Logan.”
- “Permed hair blows.”
- “It’s actually fillit mig-nun.” (okay, kind of four words)
- “Robert likes Mallory.”
Chapter 14: So it’s the dance. And here’s the stupidest thing. Stacey and Mr Rothman discuss this whole situation and decide not to tell Mr Kingbridge because it would sound too stupid. But wouldn’t Mr Kingbridge have an idea of what happened 28 years ago since he was the one who mentioned it in the first place? And wouldn’t he be worried about putting the entire student body in danger? So, um, the dance goes ahead.
Okay, drumroll please, the answers to the hotly anticipated quiz! Most of you got it more or less correct.
MA: Dorothy
Stacey: Morticia (with a moustachioed Robert as Gomez)
Kristy: Amelia Earhart
Abby: Lucy Ricardo
Jessi: A cowgirl.
Mallory: A ballerina.
Claudia: A giant, cardboard twinkie. I know she’s not the real man-eater of the group, but I’m surprised she wore something so un-alluring. And that Stacey isn’t just wearing “lingerie and some kind of animal headgear.” Logan decided to dress as the Scarecrow to MA's Dorothy. I wonder if he stuffed his trousers with hay. Actually I think it would be quite a cool idea for a couple to dress up as that. It would have been more fun if he’d gone as Toto though. And maybe he’s wishing he could have come as Glinda. Anyhoodle…
Going by her outfit description, Kristy is utterly nude but for a leather jacket, boots, silk scarf, goggles and helmet. Sounds like Bart-man’s getting lucky tonight. (Though he might be off the scene now. Maybe Allan Gray, if he plays his cards right...) Stacey actually describes Abby’s dress as the “old fashioned” sort that Lucy used to wear. Another dig from the ghostwriter, methinks. And her hair is made red with “temporary dye.” I’m guessing it’s the same kind of temporary dye they sell in Sweet Valley. Mallory is wearing an old Swan Lake costume of Jessi’s. Picture that for a moment, if you will. She can’t be all that stocky or solid or whatever if she fits it, and no way in hell would my mum let me go to a school disco wearing a proper tutu. They’re expensive.
The gym looks great, and Cokie is dressed as Little Bo Peep. Kristy says she should be dressed as the Wicked Witch of the West. Hey! She’s not so bad, Kristy! The plot-device-that-never-ever-was is resolved, as we see Grace dancing with a really hot guy. Mr Rothman is there, dressed as a football player - for goodness sakes - and he’s dancing with Ms Bryan, a substitute teacher who’s a vampire in a long black hooded cloak. Cary Ritalin is dressed as a knight chess piece - hee! - and Stacey dances with him while he evades all of her questions on whether he is the Mischief Knight.
Then, Ms Bryan appears, shivering and wearing just a camisole and leggings. Someone spilled onion dip on her cloak and then snatched it off her when she tried to clean it in the bathroom. Okay I get that the cloak was her costume, but Ms Bryan sounds like she was seriously going to put out tonight. “Do you want to see what’s under my cloak?”
Anyway, Stacey is all “oh noes!” especially when she sees Micheal Rothman dancing with a woman wearing Ms Bryan’s cloak. Okay now this book is starting to resemble the SVH crazy Margo miniseries. Talk about heavy handed with their influences.
Everyone is about to take off their masks and reveal themselves (which goes against what’s on the cover where no-one is masked) and the lights go out. Someone screams, but they go straight back on as planned. There, standing before Micheal Rothman, is Liz Connor, wearing a tattered pink dress and smiling slowly. The chapter ends there. !!!
Chapter 15: Cut to the next BSC meeting, where Shannon-the-Underused is eagerly asking what happened. Turns out Liz started laughing like a hyena, and Rothman was like, “let’s go, Liz”, and took her out of the gym where she started babbling/confessing everything. We don’t find out what happened after that, like if people kept dancing or if girls were crying so who knows. Now she’s back in hospital. No word on whether or not any kids needed counselling or how it was all allowed to happen or whether there was an apology by the school for putting the kids in danger and whether any parents complained and alumni withdrew their generous donations towards a new science block ETC… but hey, taking the kids trick or treating was “a gas!” Ah, Halloween, the night where the BSC takes the kids, and the parents of Stoneybrook all have sex. Possibly in a group.
The book more or less ends there. I've said it once before but it bears repeating - this plot seems - to me - to be way to mature for thirteen year olds. Wouldn’t it be far more plausible for it to happen in high school? Especially with the whole $10/prom night feel of it. And the fact that it’s so unresolved - like, hey-ho, it’s over now! - when, if you think about it - it would be really disturbing to be involved in such a thing. Anyway, now you know the answers to the quiz!