#30 - Mary Anne and the Great Romance, Chp 1-4
I know someone did this yesterday, but this was the only book I could dig up in my room. Besides, I wanna give you my spin on it to see if it's as good as my one for Dawn's Wicked Stepsister.
Cover: (courtesy of Dibbly Fresh!)
Erright. For starters, is that pink dress supposed to be a wedding dress? I know they had an informal wedding, but couldn't you at least wear white? But, knowing Sharon, she'd probably get something gross on it or fall down. Dawn looks like she's about to pass out and Mary Anne (MA) doesn't look a thing like Mary Anne. The green dress and the blouse are just plain weird.
The dedication is to "IRS." That's kind of odd! There is no ghost. Yippee.
This book opens with Dawn stating that sometimes living with her mom is like living with a very tall child. What a way to open a book. Mary Anne giggles and says to the reader that their respective parents had gone out for the night. Dawn has found a high heel in the vegetable crisper. I understand that Sharon is a mess, but I don't get how anyone can be that stupid. Dawn says to the shoe, "I hope you thaw out okay." Note what I said about stupid.
Sharon has left a tofu casserole in the fridge, according to Dawn, and she's surprised that her mom didn't stick it in a closet. Honestly, so am I. Dawn assumes that MA doesn't want it, and obviously assumes correctly. I don't know why Dawn keeps asking. She knows nobody wants her shiznit. MA asks if Dawn has any peanut butter, and Dawn says yes, but it's all natural, with no sugar or salt. Ooooooooof course. Typical Dawn. MA makes a peanut butter and honey sandwich (I'm surprised Jamie Newton doesn't barge in and swipe it) and Dawn makes a salad. Opposite sides of the spectrum, anyone?
Then comes the "mandatory" explanation of Richard and Sharon's story. Blah, blah, blahhhhhh.Dawn suggests eating in front of the TV, 'cause there's a Hayley Mills festival on TV. Yet another example of Ann's strange obsession with obscenely old movies. Dawn's favorite HM movie is The Parent Trap (duh) and MA's is Polyanna. The festival features four movies: the aforementioned two (of course, cause if not the girls would get bitchy. But wait, that's the next book.), That Darn Cat, and The Moon-Spinners. Admittedly, I've only heard of the first two. But, duh. Basically nobody's heard of most of the movies mentioned in this series.
MA screams that it'll take hours. Dawn says at least ten, counting commercials and cable-TV ads. Aren't those the same damn thing??? The girls can only take about an hour, and Dawn remarks that there is such thing as too much of a good thing. Chickens. They go to Dawn's room and MA explains the passage, and admits that it scares her to death. HA-HA!
The phone rings. It's Jeff. Dawn and Jeff talk and talk and talk, and MA's mind wanders. Which leads us to Chapter Freaking 2.
Okay, I'll see what they say about Jessi here..."The difference between Mal and Jessi is, first of all, that Mal is white and Jessi is black." OMFG SHE IS?????? TELL US MORE!!!!!!
Chapter 3. The meeting is called to order and the club history has to be said. Claud says that her once-broken leg will hurt 'cause it's gonna rain. She quips, "I'm probably more accurate than the weather forecaster on Channel 4." I could just puke.
Mal looks for some M&M's in a box labeled WODCUT SUPPLISE. Another example of dumb spelling.
Mrs. Arnold calls and MA gets the job. Subplot introduction!
Chapter 4 is a baby-sitting chapter: the twins, duh-eth. Marilyn is the only one home 'cause she's a pathetic loser with a - well, wait just a minute. Marilyn ignores the Kid-Kit and says she has no friends, except for a "different" friend, named - you guessed it - Gozzie Kunka. AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!
According to Marilyn, they met on the playground and GK speaks with a kind of accent. She says that GK told her that she can ride bareback and once ate snails and frog legs in France. Damn, how stereotypical of French cuisine. Just add a croissant and that wicked long bread and you'll be set.
GK has also eaten sushi, elk meat, and rice paper. She has apparently been everywhere. Riiiiiiiiiight. She then launches into the infamous story about the crazy hijacker. She then complains about Carolyn and how she's hanging out with Haley and Vanessa, and apparently this is a big deal because they're a year older. Okay, you moron, my best friend is A) a guy, and B) two years older than I am. MA says that it doesn't matter and mentions Mal and Jessi. Of course she would.
Marilyn reads to MA from Pippi Longstocking. That book lost all fun in my mind when Karen dressed up as her for Halloween in that one LS book. They are reading about a tea party when Carolyn-with-a-mullet comes home. She says that she, Haley, Vanessa, and maybe Charlotte are forming a girls' club. Marilyn retorts that it's only for certain snobs. What a damn bitch. Carolyn gets mad and tells her to take it back. Marilyn refuses, says they're jerks, and storms to her room. MA coaxes her down after ten minutes and asks if she wants to draw. She obliges, but the twins keep snipping at each other over who will like their drawing best. MA wonders how two girls that wanted so much to be individuals are now turning into brats. Gee, I wonder.
More later.
Cover: (courtesy of Dibbly Fresh!)
Erright. For starters, is that pink dress supposed to be a wedding dress? I know they had an informal wedding, but couldn't you at least wear white? But, knowing Sharon, she'd probably get something gross on it or fall down. Dawn looks like she's about to pass out and Mary Anne (MA) doesn't look a thing like Mary Anne. The green dress and the blouse are just plain weird.
The dedication is to "IRS." That's kind of odd! There is no ghost. Yippee.
This book opens with Dawn stating that sometimes living with her mom is like living with a very tall child. What a way to open a book. Mary Anne giggles and says to the reader that their respective parents had gone out for the night. Dawn has found a high heel in the vegetable crisper. I understand that Sharon is a mess, but I don't get how anyone can be that stupid. Dawn says to the shoe, "I hope you thaw out okay." Note what I said about stupid.
Sharon has left a tofu casserole in the fridge, according to Dawn, and she's surprised that her mom didn't stick it in a closet. Honestly, so am I. Dawn assumes that MA doesn't want it, and obviously assumes correctly. I don't know why Dawn keeps asking. She knows nobody wants her shiznit. MA asks if Dawn has any peanut butter, and Dawn says yes, but it's all natural, with no sugar or salt. Ooooooooof course. Typical Dawn. MA makes a peanut butter and honey sandwich (I'm surprised Jamie Newton doesn't barge in and swipe it) and Dawn makes a salad. Opposite sides of the spectrum, anyone?
Then comes the "mandatory" explanation of Richard and Sharon's story. Blah, blah, blahhhhhh.Dawn suggests eating in front of the TV, 'cause there's a Hayley Mills festival on TV. Yet another example of Ann's strange obsession with obscenely old movies. Dawn's favorite HM movie is The Parent Trap (duh) and MA's is Polyanna. The festival features four movies: the aforementioned two (of course, cause if not the girls would get bitchy. But wait, that's the next book.), That Darn Cat, and The Moon-Spinners. Admittedly, I've only heard of the first two. But, duh. Basically nobody's heard of most of the movies mentioned in this series.
MA screams that it'll take hours. Dawn says at least ten, counting commercials and cable-TV ads. Aren't those the same damn thing??? The girls can only take about an hour, and Dawn remarks that there is such thing as too much of a good thing. Chickens. They go to Dawn's room and MA explains the passage, and admits that it scares her to death. HA-HA!
The phone rings. It's Jeff. Dawn and Jeff talk and talk and talk, and MA's mind wanders. Which leads us to Chapter Freaking 2.
Okay, I'll see what they say about Jessi here..."The difference between Mal and Jessi is, first of all, that Mal is white and Jessi is black." OMFG SHE IS?????? TELL US MORE!!!!!!
Chapter 3. The meeting is called to order and the club history has to be said. Claud says that her once-broken leg will hurt 'cause it's gonna rain. She quips, "I'm probably more accurate than the weather forecaster on Channel 4." I could just puke.
Mal looks for some M&M's in a box labeled WODCUT SUPPLISE. Another example of dumb spelling.
Mrs. Arnold calls and MA gets the job. Subplot introduction!
Chapter 4 is a baby-sitting chapter: the twins, duh-eth. Marilyn is the only one home 'cause she's a pathetic loser with a - well, wait just a minute. Marilyn ignores the Kid-Kit and says she has no friends, except for a "different" friend, named - you guessed it - Gozzie Kunka. AAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!
According to Marilyn, they met on the playground and GK speaks with a kind of accent. She says that GK told her that she can ride bareback and once ate snails and frog legs in France. Damn, how stereotypical of French cuisine. Just add a croissant and that wicked long bread and you'll be set.
GK has also eaten sushi, elk meat, and rice paper. She has apparently been everywhere. Riiiiiiiiiight. She then launches into the infamous story about the crazy hijacker. She then complains about Carolyn and how she's hanging out with Haley and Vanessa, and apparently this is a big deal because they're a year older. Okay, you moron, my best friend is A) a guy, and B) two years older than I am. MA says that it doesn't matter and mentions Mal and Jessi. Of course she would.
Marilyn reads to MA from Pippi Longstocking. That book lost all fun in my mind when Karen dressed up as her for Halloween in that one LS book. They are reading about a tea party when Carolyn-with-a-mullet comes home. She says that she, Haley, Vanessa, and maybe Charlotte are forming a girls' club. Marilyn retorts that it's only for certain snobs. What a damn bitch. Carolyn gets mad and tells her to take it back. Marilyn refuses, says they're jerks, and storms to her room. MA coaxes her down after ten minutes and asks if she wants to draw. She obliges, but the twins keep snipping at each other over who will like their drawing best. MA wonders how two girls that wanted so much to be individuals are now turning into brats. Gee, I wonder.
More later.