#3 The Truth About Stacey (Covers - Chapter 5)
This book is actually one of the few books I was able to read in my school library. My library had a lot of Stacey books for some reason. I also made up a ranking of each babysitter last night, from kinda liked to most hated:
1. Abby (She's a BSC snarker too, and she hasn't drank the Kool-aid yet)
2. Claudia (Again, she used to be my comfort character)
3. Stacey (The number of Stacey books in the library helped this)
4. Mallory (I have a thing for characters who get dumped on)
5. Jessi (She was boring but at least she wasn't that annoying)
6. Kristy (She is the BSCult leader)
7. Mary Anne (“Sensitive” is just a synonym for passive-aggressive manipulative bitch)
8. Dawn (“Junk food is gross and California is so much better-” I GET IT, DAWN)
Also, my uncle has diabetes, which will totally affect my judgement of Stacey's books. Let's move on to #3, The Truth About Stacey.
COVERS
Here's the first cover by Dale Dyer:
Charlotte and Stacey actually look like children, but what the hell is Stacey wearing? Shades and an unbuttoned patterned shirt over a sweater? Pink and green can look nice together but the shades of color chosen don't look very good.
Here's the second cover by Hodges Soileau:
Stacey looks about 25. I think the look on her face is supposed to be wistfulness, but it looks more tired to me. At least Charlotte still looks like a child.
Here's the UK cover:
It's not as bad as the other UK covers, but Stacey's face and expression still look off.
AMM thanks a Dr. Claudia Werner for help on diabetes. I like to think that AMM was deliberately looking for a doctor with a fitting name.
CHAPTER ONE
Here's what was missing from the previous book: The BSC planning what to do when a baby is born! Why that's any of their business, I have no idea! My personal theory is that Kristy uses the BSC to indoctrinate the children into the Cult's beliefs. However, the BSCult spirit hasn't fully possessed Kristy yet, so she's just thinking of Jamie Newton.
It segues into a paragraph of exposition about the BSC, which segues into a paragraph of exposition about New York, which segues into a paragraph of exposition about Stoneybrook, which segues into a final paragraph of exposition about the girls. That's a lot of exposition, but at least it isn't as bad as the infamous Chapter Twos.
The girls start talking about what time they were born and MA pulls the “My mom is dead!” card by saying she doesn't know when she was born. MA knows that when she pulls that, she can get free support and sympathy.
Mimi (!) comes to check on the girls, and she knows when MA was born. MA curses under her breath, as the revelation takes away the free sympathy, but because it came from Mimi, she just smiles. Mimi turns to leave but bumps into Janine, who seems frantic.
After another “Janine has different interests so she's boring!” rant, Janine shows the girls a flier for the Baby-Sitters Agency! Gasp! Another babysitting business? In Stoneybrook? OH NO! It's not like two of those can co-exist or something! This means war, I tell you! WAR!
The BSCult spirit realizes how many children it wouldn't be able to induct, so it possesses the club, making the girls furious. Mimi and Janine leave, and the girls sit in the room, stewing in anger. HOW DARE SOMEONE ELSE MAKE A BUSINESS JUST LIKE THEIRS! HOW DARE!
MA puts on her reading glasses, which show up in this book and never again. I wonder if Mallory would've felt better about her glasses had this detail stayed in the books.
Kristy groans that they're dead. These sitters are older and can stay out late more! The girls conveniently forget that most of the children are more emotionally attached to them, therefore they would still get business from their regulars. But no! These girls are THIRTEEN! A whole year older, therefore much more mature! Haven't you seen the difference between 11 year-old Mallory and the 10 year-old triplets? They can't even clean up their own milk! Claudia can't spell and Liz and Michelle can smoke! SO MUCH OLDER!
Claudia snots about Liz and Michelle. They have smart mouths and sass the teachers, which I misread as “ass” the first time. But wait! They also hate school (like you, Claudia?) and hang out at the mall! Like the girls were planning to in the previous book! Wait, what? No no, you see, the BSC are different from those snotty, sassy 13 year-olds!
CHAPTER TWO
Kristy calls the Agency and says she's 7th grader Candy Kane and that she need a sitter for her brother, Harry Kane, as she's going on a date with a football playing sophomore named Winston Churchill. I can't believe Liz fell for that, despite being a superior and mature 13 year-old. Liz also asked her who the date was with, which is kind of unprofessional but at least not too bad.
The Agency works like this: Liz and Michelle take the calls and find a sitter for the caller, which is not a bad idea. Liz calls back and offers three sitters, one of which is a boy: two thirteen year-olds and one fifteen year-old. We never hear of these babysitters existing in Stoneybrook ever again, so I'll assume Kristy had these three killed after the book ended.
The club is dismissed and Stacey runs home, which segues into a long exposition dump about her diabetes. It's actually needed here, as this is the first book to detail how Stacey found out and got diagnosed.
It started with a bunch of embarrassing incidents, involving fainting into her soup and pissing her pants at a sleepover. Stacey was diagnosed with diabetes by a psychologist, which is odd. Her parents were in so much denial that they kept trying to find treatments and cures and didn't tell anyone that Stacey had diabetes. Stacey ended up thinking she should hide it too, so everyone at school thought she was a freak, even her former best friend, Laine Cummings (hehe, Cummings).
I really hate those types of parents who deny that their child has an illness or disorder. Unless it's life-threatening, the parents insist their child's just a “little sick now and then” or “just having normal kid problems” or some shit. It's as if it's extremely embarrassing to the parent that their child has a disorder. Their main thought, instead of being “Is my child doing okay? How are they feeling? I should make sure they feel normal,”, is “What will the others say about me? They'll think I'm a bad parent!” It's disgusting.
CHAPTER THREE
Stacey turns her thoughts towards boys, specifically two: Sam Thomas and Pete Black. Stacey hasn't seen Sam as often as she thought she would, and Pete Black is only her sort-of boyfriend. Ah, normal preteen girl behavior. Also, Pete Black is my favorite non-BSC and non-charge side character.
Stacey comes home and her mom immediately freaks out because she's not hungry. It's the first instance of AMM inserting real people as characters, however this character won't be a mainstay unlike the Perkins girls. This instance is Dr. Werner, the same on from the acknowledgement. Like the Perkins girls, she gets one of those moments where characters go “Isn't this IRL person insert amazing?”
Stacey's parents are planning to bring her to New York to meet a doctor her Uncle Eric saw on TV. Stacey groans. This is another aspect of those disgusting parents I hate: when they try to look for treatments or even a cure for their children, just so that the kids can be more “normal” and the parents can be saved from the ire and criticism of their peers. (By the way, I have diabetic children and children with mental illnesses in mind when I talk about these parents.)
Her parents pull the “We do this because we love you and know what's best for you” card and Stacey is shut up. Kristy calls to announce their emergency meeting for the next day. At the meeting, Kristy comes up with ideas for how to improve services. She lists these:
1. Housework with no extra charge (haha, fuck no)
2. Special deals to regulars (You're already practically raising the kids, no need for deals)
3. Kid Kits (okay this one is actually good)
4. Lower rates (haha, fuck no)
5. Offering jobs to their older siblings (actually pretty good)
I've always wondered how big Kid Kits were. I always imagined a metal lunch box for some reason. Nowadays, I picture one of those huge printer paper boxes. But if Kits really were that big, I wonder how these girls carried it on their bikes. About that last one, everyone agrees until Kristy mentions Janine. Claudia forgets everything Mimi told her in the previous book and blows up.
Also, I've always wondered, why don't the older siblings ever interact, or even mention each other? They're close enough in age, plus they've also been living in the same area for all their lives. I mean, if Kristy and MA could be friends with Claudia but not close friends, why haven't we heard any stories of Charlie, Janine, and Sam hanging out when they were little kids too?
I like to think the three used to hang out when they were 6 or 7 and they gradually stopped being friends once Janine moved up to middle school at age 8 or 9. Janine would totally tell Charlie science stuff that he could use to prank Sam with.
Another thing, why don't we ever hear what Charlie does while the BSC meeting is going on when he starts being the chauffeur? Does he just jack off in the pimp wagon while waiting? Does he really spend some alone time with Janine in the next room? More G-rated, does he ever have awkward conversations with Janine?
Again, I like to think that Janine's telling Charlie what college is like and helping him write letters to universities.
Sorry about that tangent, I just needed a little cool-off after the disgusting parents rant I went on earlier. Also this community has turned me into a Charlie/Janine shipper. The girls decide on making Kid Kits, giving deals, and saving the siblings thing as a last resort.
CHAPTER FOUR
Stacey's sitting for Charlotte Johanssen and Dr. Johanssen asks her about her blood sugar, which is kind of weird, but I guess since she's a doctor it's okay. ...What kind of doctor is she anyway? I like to think the reason why we're never told is because she's an OB/GYN.
CharJo wants to know what's in the Kid Kit. Because this was made by Stacey, it has A Cricket in Times Square in it. Because she's from NEW YORK. I wonder if AMM is aware that New York isn't just the city. What part of NYC is Stacey from anyway? Probably Manhattan. *checks* Yep. I'd love it if a movie set in New York took place somewhere other than NYC, or a movie set in NYC taking place somewhere other than Manhattan, like how Spider-man: Homecoming was in Queens.
Stacey takes CharJo on a walk without telling either of her parents (STOP BRINGING KIDS TO RANDOM PLACES WITHOUT ASKING!) and CharJo says she doesn't have any friends. She won't say why and sticks her thumb in her mouth. I'm pretty sure seven year-old shouldn't be doing that, unless the Johanssens are such bad parents that CharJo's still sucking her thumb.
They go to a candy store and CharJo wants some. Stacey says they shouldn't, since it's close to dinner. Why the hell did you bring her there then? She's seven, of course she'll ask for a sweet. They leave and CharJo notices some of her classmates.
Her classmates call her “Char-Char” like it's an insult and not a cute nickname and chant “Teacher's pet” at her. CharJo leaves in tears and Stacey consoles her. They bump into Liz Lewis, advertising the BSA with balloons. She mistakes CharJo for Stacey's sister (aww) and hands her a balloon. Stacey feels the breeze of the BSCult spirit rush past her and she starts thinking of what to do.
CHAPTER FIVE
The BSCult spirit continues to possess the club, especially Kristy, who gets angry enough to tell Liz to her face that she's the BSA's mortal enemy and number one rival. Liz has no idea why the hell this chick is taking having another babysitting service in town so seriously and tells Kristy to piss off, further angering both Kristy and the spirit. By the end of this book, I'm pretty sure Kristy contacted the spirit directly and started working alongside it. Wait, did I go this far without making a book idea about it?
Book #666, The BSCult Spirit and Kristy
Tagline: Don't drink the water!
Kristy's reminiscing. A few day after forming the BSC, she discovers that the BSC is actually an acronym for a cult that her ancestors led. She decides to contact the spirit that the cult worshipped and instead of fighting for freedom from the cursed acronym, Kristy forms an alliance with the spirit. She makes a concoction from an old cult book that she puts in the water supply to weaken the minds of the Stoneybrookites. Back in present day, Kristy tells all the BSC members what she's done. Because of prolonged exposure to the spirit, everyone's cool with it. First Stoneybrook, then the world!
If I had time, I'd totally write a fanfic about that.
Kristy and Stacey are sitting for Jamie because Lucy decided to pop out early. They decide to throw him a Big Brother Party and invite CharJo and three Pikes, Silly-Billy-Goo-Goo, Vomit Dispenser, and the first appearance of fugly-with-a-capital-fuck herself, Mallory “Spaz Girl” Pike. And I know I just said this, but STOP BRINGING KIDS EVERYWHERE WITHOUT ASKING. They start working on decorations and food.
An “Aughh!” cuts into the air as Kristy gets the call from the Newtons. It's a girl named Lucy Jane! Welcome to the BSCult-I mean, welcome to the world! Jamie gets sad because that means he wouldn't be sat by Kristy anymore. Stacey asks why and Jamie says his mom wants an older sitter so the sitter can take care of the baby too.
Stacey feels like a cold weight was dropped on her chest. Stacey, the BSC is made up of 12 year-olds. You guys don't know how to take care of babies! Hell, three of you will soon act like babies are breathing dolls to dress up. Stacey thinks Mrs. Newton is a “traitor”. Fucking hell, Stacey.
Stacey and Kristy decide this means war. And I decide this means break time because I haven't eaten in hours and I have rice to cook.
See ya later. Have the song I'm listening to, it's quite calming.
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