#1 Kristy's Great Idea (Cover - Chapter 5)
I've been lurking around the archive for a while now and I decided, hey! Why not join the community?
Tell me how to edit these things, I'm not used to LJ's style yet.
So I made a post asking the members what should be snarked first (I only listed the books from my school library, but I found the Dropbox link to all the BSC books and thanks to road_baby's link I now have all of them!) and most of them asked for the first book, so here we are.
A lot of media that I've consumed such as Homestuck and Steven Universe fostered a love of little details and foreshadowing in me. Which BSC is bad at. I tend to notice when a detail given in the book is never mentioned again or disappears gradually over time. I also dislike exposition dumps.
Since this book is the first one, I don't expect it to be as crazy or stupid as the later books are, but it's the BSC. Anything can happen.
This is my first snark! Be kind.
COVER:
Drawn by Dale Dyer (I assume).
The first time I picked up this book in my school library, I was a bit confused because I couldn't see Kristy at all on the cover. Then I realized that the brunette on the floor in the dress was Kristy. I have to admit, it's weird seeing Kristy out of uniform, looking like an actual 12 year-old and not an 18 year-old.
Mary Anne is still Mary Anne. Stacey actually looks “sophisticated”, but Claudia's outfit is pretty tame.
This book got an updated cover by Hodges:
That's the Kristy I know. Mary Anne remains Mary Anne. Claudia's outfit looks more like something she'd actually wear (and something a teenager in the 2010s would wear too). It looks like Stacey had a nice tops picked out and a nice skirt and shoes, but she didn't know what to pair them with, so she just wore them all.
I see that Nancy Drew book on the floor. It doesn't look like one I own. Apparently it's Secret of the Old Clock. Nancy Drew was actually my introduction to ghostwriters. Turns out, Carolyn Keene is a pen name for a whole bunch of writers, but the first and original author is Mildred Benson.
There's no ghostwriter for this book, and it's all Ann M. Martin. While that's all good, I can't wait to dive into the worlds of Peter “Harrumph” Lerangis and (Ellen Miles) and the like.
CHAPTER ONE:
This book opens with Kristy saying that the BSC “was totally my idea, even though the four of us worked it out together.” Humble.
It's a hot day, and SMS does not have air conditioning, so the students were allowed to take up ten minutes of Social Studies to fold paper fans. I don't think it takes that long to make a paper fan, and it doesn't take much effort to, so you can do it during the lecture. Kristy also mentions that she's not wearing a ponytail, another instance of Early-Installment Weirdness.
The bell rings at 2:42 (that's an oddly specific time) and Kristy jumps out of her seat and yells “Hooray!” at Mr. Redmont's face. The real shocking part is that Kristy feels bad. The class leaves and Mr. Redmont tells Kristy to write a hundred-word essay on decorum, a word that she doesn't know. I actually didn't know that word either when I first picked this up at age 10.
Mary Anne's standing outside the classroom door biting her nails. Fun fact, I always read Spier like “Spy-er” and only now did I realize that it's pronounced “Spear”. I still can't read it like that though. This segues into a paragraph of exposition about MA.
Kristy pulls MA's hand out of her mouth (her whole hand was in there?) and asks how MA's supposed to wear nail polish, which segues into a paragraph of exposition about MA's father. Was it intentional that his name can be shortened to Dick?
Kristy realizes that it's her day to take care of David Michael, and she has to get home before DM does. I wonder why David Michael has to be referred to by two names and not just David. It doesn't roll off the tongue as easily as Mary Anne, and we don't call his sister Kristy Amanda either.
This segues into a paragraph of exposition about Kristy's brothers. She also mentions a girl named Kathy who babysits DM when his siblings can't. We never hear of Kathy again, so we can assume that Kristy had her executed after forming the BSC.
The girls find DM crying at the doorstep because he got locked out. They open the door and Louie the collie runs out (RIP Louie). Kristy offers to make DM lemonade, DM smiles, and this segues into a paragraph of exposition about how good with kids Kristy and MA are. I find that hilarious because by definition, Kristy and MA are still kids (*flashbacks to Mallory's I <3 Kids shirt*).
Kristy and MA discuss who's babysitting Jamie Newton, which segues into a paragraph of exposition about Claudia.
Claudia was the BSC member I identified the most when I was younger. Asian, artist, Nancy Drew fan. Then I read the later books and found out how dumb she was. Nowadays I identify with Janine more, which will probably affect my future snark of Claudia and Mean Janine (oh boy).
Claudia is not close to Kristy and MA, a detail I wish was brought up more in the BSC books. She also started getting interested in clothes and boys. That kinda messed me up a bit when I turned 13 and was not like that. Even now at 15, I'm not into fashion nor have I ever gotten a crush (some dudes have piqued my interest, but not a full-blown crush). I blame Claudia for making me think I was developing wrong.
Sam and Charlie get home. Charlie made the SHS football varsity team, a detail that will be forgotten as Charlie slowly transforms into the BSC chauffeur.
Charlie and Sam ask Kristy and DM if they wanna play ball in the backyard of the Hanson family, which I have never heard of outside of this book. Kristy declines to take DM to the brook, which I have never heard of outside of this book.
Kristy and MA plan to chat with their flashlights at nine o'clock. Kristy says they have a code, but she doesn't elaborate what it is. It would be cool if it was Morse Code. Apparently MA can't use the phone unless it's for homework or babysitting. So, she can't use it for emergencies then?
The Thomas kids walk into the kitchen smelling cheese and pepperoni. Dammit, now I'm hungry, and I just had lunch. Their mom, Elizabeth, needs someone to watch DM because Kathy cancelled. The kids give their excuses, and Sam mentions Math club. Another detail that will disappear as he transforms into one of Stacey's many conquests.
Elizabeth calls a bunch of people to see if they could sit for DM. Finally, she asks Mrs. Newton if Kristy could bring DM along when she's sitting for Jamie. Why didn't Elizabeth try that first? I know it's so Kristy can get the idea for the BSC, but this is pretty contrived.
Kristy gets the idea for the BSC and almost chokes on her pizza. I just got struck by an idea as well.
#200 Mallory and the True BSC
Tagline: Mal found out the secret that she never wanted to know.
Kristy finds out that the BSC is an acronym for a cult led by Kristy's ancestors. Her father was the last leader, but after he left, the title has passed down to Kristy. She put stuff in Stonybrook's water to brainwash the parents into letting the BSC train the children in thei ways. Mallory finds out but no one listens to her because the world hates her. So at another BSC pizza party, Mal decides to make sure Kristy does choke on a pizza to prevent the BSCult from continuing their reign.
CHAPTER TWO
Ah, Chapter Twos before the formula took over. I'll enjoy my time here before it disappears like everything else.
Kristy does her essay and writes “The End” at the end to meet her word quota, which is something I would totally do. Then she plans for the BSC. I enjoy how she says “he or she” could call them, but there are barely any fathers in the BSC books.
Elizabeth knocks on her door and this segues into a paragraph of exposition about Kristy's own father. Hopefully the book version of Unsavory Patrick doesn't make sperm pancakes. Kristy also mentions that Elizabeth has a “terrific job at this big company in Stamford” but doesn't say what it is.
We get a sweet moment of bonding between Kristy and her mom, which will get rarer as parents become nothing but plot devices for the next sitting job. Kristy mentions that Elizabeth goes off to talk to Sam, which I love too.
Kristy tells MA about the BSC. Apparently MA's dad doesn't know about the flashlight code. I don't see why MA has to hide it. Maybe MA thinks she has to because of her dad's strict rules.
Elizabeth comes back to tell Kristy that she's going out with Watson. Kristy talks about how she doesn't like Watson, and that he's balding. I don't see how that makes you dislike someone. Later we see why she really doesn't like Watson. Kristy's scared that her mom remarrying would ruin the life that she has now, which is understandable.
Watson needs someone to watch his kids on Saturday morning because he's working. Later books would have him buying groceries or buying a birdbath. Kristy refuses, probably because she's already sensing Karen from mention alone. I'm dreading meeting her too.
CHAPTER THREE
MA's going to be sitting for the Pikes, specifically the silly-billy-goo-goo and the vomit dispenser. They decide to meet up at Jamie Newton's house to dicuss the BSC. Something I've noticed is the baby-sitters tend to bring kids over to other houses without notifying the parents. If I was a parent, I'd be mad if a baby-sitter took my kid somewhere else just so she could hang out with her friends.
Kristy and DM meet Jamie, who is 3 years old. DM questions the fact that Kristy expects him to play with a 3 year-old, another thing that will gradually phase away.
Jamie shows off his GI Joes (an actual 90s thing in a BSC book?) and he and DM run off to play with them. Mrs. Newton's baby is due for 8 weeks and Kristy shows signs of K. Ron by wishing it would hurry up. Kristy mentions that as soon as Mrs. Newton leaves, she calls MA, meaning she didn't mention the Pike kids to Mrs. Newton.
MA comes over. Claire and Jamie “hi-hi” at each other while Margo and DM stink-eye at each other. Kristy tries to tell MA about the BSC but Jamie falls off the swing, so they decide to meet up at Claudia's later. Jamie and DM are actually watching TV, and it's not I Love Lucy.
Kristy runs over to Claudia's which segues into a paragraph of exposition about Claudia and boys. Claudia wears a bra and gets crushes on boys. Kristy doesn't and thinks boys are dicks. Kristy isn't into dicks.
Claudia's wearing this:
And it reminds me of the wacky friend in a 90's Disney/Nick sitcom.
Claudia's wearing ugly make-up and Kristy tries not to insult her. Claudia says she just thinks it's exotic and that segues into a paragraph of exposition about Claudia being Japanese-American and “fashionable”.
Claudia wants to go to school wearing it, which segues into a paragraph of exposition about Claudia's parent's attitude towards her fashion. Claud only babysits for money, apparently.
Mimi makes a cameo (RIP Mimi) and Kristy asks where Janine is, which segues into a paragraph of exposition about Janine.
Janine's a 15 year-old university student (which I would've been too, had the Philippines not adopted K-12) who corrects grammar. Janine apparently has a best friend: a 14 year-old math nerd who's also becoming a university student. Her second best friend is a computer. So is mine.
Kristy says that it's Janine's fault that Claudia focuses on art and does poorly in school. I can see her being one of the causes, but the way it's worded makes it sound like Janine makes Claudia do badly on purpose.
Kristy explains the BSC and Claud and MA like the idea. Claud mentions her personal phone line (which could not have been cheap back in the day) and they decide to have meetings in her room. Claud brings up Stacey, who Kristy and MA are wary of until Claud says the three magic words: New York City.
They all decide to meet the next day at 5:30, and the BSCult as we know it began.
CHAPTER FOUR
Kristy goes over to Claudia's, and she's wearing this:
Which is much better than whatever the hell the other outfit was.
Claudia mentions that Janine's home like it's a bad thing. I bet Janine wouldn't be so quiet and weird if the girls weren't dicks to her.
Janine compliments the BSC and corrects Kristy's misuse of hopefully. I would do that too; I hate when people use hopefully wrong. MA comes over and Kristy “warns” MA of Janine's presence.
They all meet Stacey and Kristy starts to feel self-conscious because Stacey's wearing this:
And Kristy and MA are wearing these:
(also, Kristy's in a dress? Willingly?)
Stacey talks about how her apartment building had 200 apartments and that she can stay out til 10 PM. Stacey wants to know the neighborhood better and get cash while doing it. MA asks why she moved out and Stacey changes the subject. This behavior towards her diabetes is weird if you didn't read The Baby-sitters Remember (which is a doozy).
Stacey used to go to a private school and she didn't have to wear a uniform. I go to a private school too and I have to wear a uniform. Being a t-shirt and jeans person, I don't really care about wearing one. Mary Anne orgasms at every detail of New York that Stacey mentions. Stacey joins and they start planning.
Claud mentions all the food stashed away in her room. I never got how the girls felt so comfortable in Claud's room. It sounds like it smells and it's messy. Stacey declines an M&M and claims she's on a diet, prompting Kristy to say she's skinny and ask how much she weighs. Kristy, not all diets are for weight. Some are for health in general. Plus, it's just one M&M. While it would kill Stacey, it's still a candy.
Kristy tells her that it's not good to diet when you don't need one (again, health diets) and asks if her mother knows. Staey's saved by Janine telling them that MA's dad called, so she has to go. They decide to meet up at recess.
The lunch at SMS sucks. The lunch at my school is pretty good, then again I'm in an agricultural area so fresh ingredients are easier to obtain where I am. No need for mystery meat.
Apparently boys putting mashed peas in their milk turns Claudia on. Girl loves her food. The girls meet up at the playground and plan advertising. Claud draws the logo, somehow without misspelling anything, and the BSCult has their official symbol.
CHAPTER FIVE:
They start spreading the news and the newspaper accepts their ad without charging them for some reason. They also start electing officers, and everyone fits a role. Stacey runs out to give herself an insulin shot and after an awkward moment they work on the fliers.
Kristy mentions Watson, Stacey asks who that is, and she explains that her parents are divorced. She asks if Stacey's parents are divorced too. I get a small twinge of sadness when Stacey says her parents have been married for 15 years. Claudia says hers were married for 20 years. MA ruins the mood by saying her mom died. Nice job, MA.
They disband. We're back at Kristy's house. DM loves Watson because he had no father growing up which gives me another small twinge of sadness. Watson brought Chinese take-out for the Thomases. Kristy snots about him. Kristy, balding or not, this guy is making your mom happy, being a father for DM, and giving you free food. Tolerate him, at least.
Kristy asks about his kids. She thinks it's “stinky” how Watson left his kids alone to eat dinner with them. Don't be mad now. In the future, Watson will be abandoning his kids for a birdbath. Watson says he got a baby-sitter and Kristy shuts up.
Charlie and Sam like Watson, which is a bit surprising. They're the eldest two, so they spent more time with Unsavory Patrick. I assume they'd be the ones who'd be wary of Watson. Then again, maybe the prolonged exposure to Unsavory Patrick and his sperm pancakes made them hate him more.
Charlie mentions his girlfriend Carol. I thought Charlie's girlfriend was Sarah. Isn't Carol the name of Dawn's stepmom? Unless...Dawn did say Carol was young...
Kristy refuses to eat Watson's food, so she looks for leftover chili and makes a PB&J sandwich. Watson is a little hurt and I feel the twinge of sadness again. Watson tries to start coversation with Kristy but she brushes him off, leading Sam to mention Math club again. ...Wait. Janine's best friend is a 14 year-old math nerd. Sam's a 14 year-old Math nerd. That makes so much sense! That's gonna be really awkward when Charlie and Janine start their weekly make-out sessions.
Watson calls GI Joes “dolls” which gives Kristy an opening to call Watson a bad father. He isn't, at least in this book. Kristy knows that but keeps pushing til her mom tells her to go to her room. Kristy feels bad though, so she apologizes to her mom via note. Her mom replies in the morning with “I love you too.” That twinge of sadness is back.
I leave it off here, tell me what you thought of it!