Karen's Pen Pal part 2
Here's some more! Hope you all enjoy!
Chapter 6- Shells and Erasers
Karen tells her family she has to write a letter to her pen pal for homework and internally snarks our poor Andrew for not knowing what a pen pal is. ("It must be hard to be four and not know anything.") that's what being a big sister is, Karen. It's explaining stuff to your younger sibling who may not know the same things you do because they are younger. Jeez.
Andrew adorably asks if Santa is his pen pal because he writes to him every year. I want to scoop this kid up and hug him.
Karen starts her letter to Maxie. Maxie has an extraordinary eraser collection going, and Karen cannot stand someone else having anything good ever without her having it too, so she starts bragging about her shell collection. I have to admit, her collection sounds pretty impressive, and she has it all organized with the names of the shells written underneath them.
She sends Maxie her smallest shell even though Maxie gave her some of her coolest erasers.
She also humbly adds that "if Maxie started a shell collection, she would have to work hard to get as many shells as I have." Not everything is a contest, Karen.
She sends Maxie a copy of her school picture but does not tell her she's seven. Again, what is the big deal? She can add that she skipped a grade of she's that concerned.
Chapter 7
Maxie to the Max (or Karen to the max, which makes more sense)
The chapter opens with the start of a letter from Maxie. She tells Karen she wears contact lenses. Is it just me or eight years old really young for contacts? Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
So of course Karen begins comparing herself to Maxie immediately. She's also upset looking at Maxie's school picture and seeing that she has pierced ears and trendy clothes. Karen is not allowed to have pierced ears or contacts. She's starting to sound like our Mallory. Good thing Mallory isn't writing to Maxie!
Maxie starts bragging a bit when she talks about her fantabulous shell collection that she started before her eraser one, but again, Karen started it.
Maxie shares she is the pitcher on a little league team, and Karen is PISSED. Maxie one-ups her on everything! And seriously, if Maxie had been pen pals with ANYONE else, her talents and possessions and physical traits and shit wouldn't be a problem. But Karen makes everything into a competition. Everything is about someone being better than someone else. And that is why she is so damned unhappy every time she hears from Maxie. And why Maxie ends up acting the way she does later on. Seriously, when I was Karen's age (and still now), I had learning disabilities, no athletic ability, no adopted or blended family members, no collections, and no interesting talents. I just sat and read and that was it. If Maxie was my pen pal, she would certainly trump me at everything, but i wouldn't care at all. I would be happy to learn about a person who is different from myself and has different talents. It would be interesting (Maxie would probably find me quite boring though, hehe.)
Anyway, back to Karen. Because of her shitty and ridiculous attitude, she doesn't want to write to Maxie again. She says she is "Maxie to the max." Because she has a big shell collection and is a pitcher on a little league team? Damn, Karen.
She is afraid to write anything to Maxie because God forbid Maxie one up her again. But then she realizes "oh hey I can just be an asshole and lie to Maxie so that I can get my wish and trump her at everything!" So she says she has eight best friends, all the girls in her class, and that their class pet, Hootie, is a monkey. (He is actually a guinea pig for those of you who aren't familiar with the Karen books.)
And thus begins a vicious cycle of lies all started because of Karen's massive ego.
Chapter 8-
The big apple
Karen is doing math in school, and tells us she is good at it, which makes the events in "Karen's big lie" where Karen sucks at math, a continuity error.
The class settles down for a discussion about their pen pals and what they have learned about living in the city. Karen hasn't learned smack about that, which she blames on Maxie, saying they "had hardly written about our lives at all. Mostly, maxie bragged about things." I am sorry, Karen? Who is bragging about things? Are you sure it's Maxie?
Luckily, Karen starts to take some of the blame when she realizes that all her classmates love their own pals and are learning a ton and all she and Maxie talk about are their collections and eight best friends and monkeys and says that they are both braggers. Ann must have reduced her Kool
Aid batch before writing that, because I am shocked that Karen actually admitted she was bragging.
Then ms. Colman says they will have a sports day and the class should start practicing. I guess Karen learned nothing from her previous realization or just doesn't care, because she decides she will become the fastest runner in her class and possibly in the whole second grade.
Seriously, I need some chocolate.
Chapter 9- Karen's castle
Karen forces her loyal companions to do some serious sports day preparation because "we want to win it, don't we?" Her friends just say, "I guess" because they don't have an obsessive need to make everything into a competition and to win everything like Karen.
The work out they do is boring. Hannie and Nancy seem really unenthusiastic about it and I feel sorry for them, that they just do exactly whAt Karen wants All of the time.
Karen finds a letter from
Maxie in her book bag when she gets home and seems surprised which makes no sense. How did it get in there without Karen knowing about it?
Maxie's letter is full of very obvious lies: that her class pet is a cat and her dad is a rockstar. For someone who skipped a grade, Karen isn't very smart that she believes this shit. I know they're seven and eight, but the fact that they believe these lies is still crazy.
Maxie definitely should not be stooping down to Karen's level and lying to make herself look good. They're both in the wrong, here. But again, if Maxie's pen pal had been anyone else, this probably never would have happened. Whereas this probably would have happened with Karen no matter who she chose as her pen pal.
Because Maxie has "beaten me again" (a line that truly shows Karen's obsession with competition), she sends her a lying letter about her dad's huge castle. Honestly, a (real-live) mansion is pretty cool. If you really wanna one-up her, you can do that and still tell the truth about the real-live mansion.
Chapter 10
This chapter is just a bunch of lying and bragging letters back and forth. Karen and Maxie seem to believe each other's lies, crazily enough. Maxie describes an unrealistically large apartment with twenty-two rooms (is that even possible?) she also says she's been in a movie. things would be so much easier if Google was more popular (if it even existed) back then. Karen could google Maxie's name and when it didn't come up, she would know she's never been in a movie. Google would help Maxie too when Karen says she's written and published a book. Then they brag about how fast they each can run the 50-yard dash.
Gosh, the egos of these girls that they must stoop to these levels!
Chapter 6- Shells and Erasers
Karen tells her family she has to write a letter to her pen pal for homework and internally snarks our poor Andrew for not knowing what a pen pal is. ("It must be hard to be four and not know anything.") that's what being a big sister is, Karen. It's explaining stuff to your younger sibling who may not know the same things you do because they are younger. Jeez.
Andrew adorably asks if Santa is his pen pal because he writes to him every year. I want to scoop this kid up and hug him.
Karen starts her letter to Maxie. Maxie has an extraordinary eraser collection going, and Karen cannot stand someone else having anything good ever without her having it too, so she starts bragging about her shell collection. I have to admit, her collection sounds pretty impressive, and she has it all organized with the names of the shells written underneath them.
She sends Maxie her smallest shell even though Maxie gave her some of her coolest erasers.
She also humbly adds that "if Maxie started a shell collection, she would have to work hard to get as many shells as I have." Not everything is a contest, Karen.
She sends Maxie a copy of her school picture but does not tell her she's seven. Again, what is the big deal? She can add that she skipped a grade of she's that concerned.
Chapter 7
Maxie to the Max (or Karen to the max, which makes more sense)
The chapter opens with the start of a letter from Maxie. She tells Karen she wears contact lenses. Is it just me or eight years old really young for contacts? Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.
So of course Karen begins comparing herself to Maxie immediately. She's also upset looking at Maxie's school picture and seeing that she has pierced ears and trendy clothes. Karen is not allowed to have pierced ears or contacts. She's starting to sound like our Mallory. Good thing Mallory isn't writing to Maxie!
Maxie starts bragging a bit when she talks about her fantabulous shell collection that she started before her eraser one, but again, Karen started it.
Maxie shares she is the pitcher on a little league team, and Karen is PISSED. Maxie one-ups her on everything! And seriously, if Maxie had been pen pals with ANYONE else, her talents and possessions and physical traits and shit wouldn't be a problem. But Karen makes everything into a competition. Everything is about someone being better than someone else. And that is why she is so damned unhappy every time she hears from Maxie. And why Maxie ends up acting the way she does later on. Seriously, when I was Karen's age (and still now), I had learning disabilities, no athletic ability, no adopted or blended family members, no collections, and no interesting talents. I just sat and read and that was it. If Maxie was my pen pal, she would certainly trump me at everything, but i wouldn't care at all. I would be happy to learn about a person who is different from myself and has different talents. It would be interesting (Maxie would probably find me quite boring though, hehe.)
Anyway, back to Karen. Because of her shitty and ridiculous attitude, she doesn't want to write to Maxie again. She says she is "Maxie to the max." Because she has a big shell collection and is a pitcher on a little league team? Damn, Karen.
She is afraid to write anything to Maxie because God forbid Maxie one up her again. But then she realizes "oh hey I can just be an asshole and lie to Maxie so that I can get my wish and trump her at everything!" So she says she has eight best friends, all the girls in her class, and that their class pet, Hootie, is a monkey. (He is actually a guinea pig for those of you who aren't familiar with the Karen books.)
And thus begins a vicious cycle of lies all started because of Karen's massive ego.
Chapter 8-
The big apple
Karen is doing math in school, and tells us she is good at it, which makes the events in "Karen's big lie" where Karen sucks at math, a continuity error.
The class settles down for a discussion about their pen pals and what they have learned about living in the city. Karen hasn't learned smack about that, which she blames on Maxie, saying they "had hardly written about our lives at all. Mostly, maxie bragged about things." I am sorry, Karen? Who is bragging about things? Are you sure it's Maxie?
Luckily, Karen starts to take some of the blame when she realizes that all her classmates love their own pals and are learning a ton and all she and Maxie talk about are their collections and eight best friends and monkeys and says that they are both braggers. Ann must have reduced her Kool
Aid batch before writing that, because I am shocked that Karen actually admitted she was bragging.
Then ms. Colman says they will have a sports day and the class should start practicing. I guess Karen learned nothing from her previous realization or just doesn't care, because she decides she will become the fastest runner in her class and possibly in the whole second grade.
Seriously, I need some chocolate.
Chapter 9- Karen's castle
Karen forces her loyal companions to do some serious sports day preparation because "we want to win it, don't we?" Her friends just say, "I guess" because they don't have an obsessive need to make everything into a competition and to win everything like Karen.
The work out they do is boring. Hannie and Nancy seem really unenthusiastic about it and I feel sorry for them, that they just do exactly whAt Karen wants All of the time.
Karen finds a letter from
Maxie in her book bag when she gets home and seems surprised which makes no sense. How did it get in there without Karen knowing about it?
Maxie's letter is full of very obvious lies: that her class pet is a cat and her dad is a rockstar. For someone who skipped a grade, Karen isn't very smart that she believes this shit. I know they're seven and eight, but the fact that they believe these lies is still crazy.
Maxie definitely should not be stooping down to Karen's level and lying to make herself look good. They're both in the wrong, here. But again, if Maxie's pen pal had been anyone else, this probably never would have happened. Whereas this probably would have happened with Karen no matter who she chose as her pen pal.
Because Maxie has "beaten me again" (a line that truly shows Karen's obsession with competition), she sends her a lying letter about her dad's huge castle. Honestly, a (real-live) mansion is pretty cool. If you really wanna one-up her, you can do that and still tell the truth about the real-live mansion.
Chapter 10
This chapter is just a bunch of lying and bragging letters back and forth. Karen and Maxie seem to believe each other's lies, crazily enough. Maxie describes an unrealistically large apartment with twenty-two rooms (is that even possible?) she also says she's been in a movie. things would be so much easier if Google was more popular (if it even existed) back then. Karen could google Maxie's name and when it didn't come up, she would know she's never been in a movie. Google would help Maxie too when Karen says she's written and published a book. Then they brag about how fast they each can run the 50-yard dash.
Gosh, the egos of these girls that they must stoop to these levels!