BSC #59: MALLORY HATES BOYS (AND GYM) OR TOO BAD THERE’S NO MCSTEAMY HER TO HELP US THRU IT! THE END
BSC #59: MALLORY HATES BOYS (AND GYM) OR TOO BAD THERE’S NO MCSTEAMY HER TO HELP US THRU IT! THE END!
Hi guys, hope everyone had a great weekend/Valentine’s/What-have you! I also hope that you’re all safe and warm somewhere, it looks NASTY out!
Thank you all again for your comments/follows/tweets/everything, it really means a lot to me! Now it’s time to end this thing and move on to something else!
*Just to warn you guys, this is gonna be short because the rest of the book is boring as Hell! Sorry!
Without further ado:
Chapter 10:
Mal goes into gym class TOTALLY READY TO PLAY SOME VOLLEYBALL, I SWEAR!
Even Jessi’s shocked by the turn of events, but does tell her that ‘she’ll be great’ BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT A GOOD FRIEND DOES! NOT BITCH AND FUCKING MOAN JUST BECAUSE SHE DARED HAVE DIFFERENT INTERESTS THEN YOU, MAL, K-RON, DAWN… BASICALLY EVERY-FUCKING-ONE IN THESE BOOKS!
So Mal joins the team, all of which crack wise about her coming back and how she sucks. This doesn’t bother our Ginger though, she’s vowed to play and play she will. However, she just CONTINUES TO DO THE SAME FUCKING THING SHE’S BEEN DOING THIS ENTIRE BOOK; TO JUST FUCKING ‘ACT’ LIKE SHE’S PLAYING, BUT NOT ACTUALLY DO IT! Somebody finally wises up that she isn’t doing Jack or Shit and decides to keep serving the ball right to her, leaving her to fucking DUCK EVERY SINGLE TIME! Ok, I get that she’s scared of being hit by the ball and all; BUT JUST SMACK, PUNCH OR TRY TO HIT THE FUCKING THING! Or barring that, just bench yourself again; it’s what you’ve been doing up to now.
Mal bitches and moans some more about being the only one under attack and I really can’t snark this, God knows I’ve been there and it sucks. What I can snark though is this shit; ‘Come on, Mallory! Don’t just stand there!’ SHE’S STILL JUST STANDING THERE, DOUG FUNNIE-ING IT?!
FOR FUCK’S SAKE, BENCH YOURSELF IF YOU DON’T WANNA PLAY! DON’T JUST STAND THERE!
Mal ends up doing just that and then the coach comes up to ask why she continues to bench herself and all Mal can say is that she has no fucking clue why she has to play. REALLY? YOU HAD A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO TELL THE FUCKING COACH WHY YOU DON’T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE AND YOU FUCKING BLOW IT? DUMBASS! This leads to coach talking about how this will lead to Mal quitting EVERYTHING under the fucking sun and I really don’t think quitting a FUCKING VOLLEYBALL WILL MAKE HER WANT TO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE, BITCH! FUCKING HELL!
Mal tells her the same thing and lies about having her parent’s support to not play; and I’m really surprised the coach didn’t laugh her ass of at that, but whatever. You can’t tell me the teachers aren’t aware of just how shitty the Pike Parents are. Whatever, so Mal gets detention again; but this time SHE’S MADE TO WASH ALL THE NASTY, SWEATY PINNIES IN THE HOME EC ROOM!
· WHO THE FUCK HAD A HOME EC ROOM IN SCHOOL? ESPECIALLY IN JUNIOR HIGH/GRADE SCHOOL?
· I’M TORN BETWEEN THE EW FACTOR OF HAVING TO WASH EVERYONE’S PINNIES AND WANTING TO APPLAUD THE PUNISHMENT IN SOME WAY!
· FOR FUCK’S SAKE MAL, JUST FUCKING TELL THE TEACHER THE REASONS YOU DON’T WANNA PLAY!
So Mal complains to Jessi about having to wash the pinnies and I really do feel bad for Mal, because they didn’t give her gloves or anything to grab the nasty clothes AND the door’s open for everyone to see her! Poor girl. And OF COURSE; the fucking assholes from class look in and crack stupid jokes at her and I would have just either shut the damn door or thrown the nasty pinnies at them, but that’s just me.
Chapter 11:
It would appear that K-Ron has lost her damn mind; it’s the only reason for her to refer to Karen as ‘an angel’ and the boys as ‘devils’. Or for Mal to be right about something.
FUCKING KAREN’S THE GOOD ONE? ARE YOU HIGH, K-RON?
And what’s the big problem the Almighty K-Ron had with the boys? David Michael hogs the TV and when he’s told that Emily gets to watch Care Bears instead, he throws his toys around and Andrew dares to take a Shark Attack game away from Emily because he thinks she’s too little and needs to learn to play it right.
AND WHY IS EMILY, THE TWO YEAR OLD; PLAYING WITH SHARK ATTACK? THAT GAME HAS LITTLE PIECES IN IT, FOR FUCK’S SAKE! AND HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT THAN ANY OTHER BOOK? JUST TELL DAVID MICHAEL TO GO PLAY IN HIS ROOM IF IT’S BOTHERING YOU AND SEND ANDREW WITH HIM; OR LEAVE THE ROOM WITH THE TWO GIRLS AND PLAY ELSEWHERE! YOU HAVE A MANSION, THERE’S ROOM FOR EVERYONE TO PLAY AND NOT SEE EACH OTHER!
K-Ron tries to do as much, but then David Michael starts playing music loud and refuses to leave. Then YOU TOTALLY CAN, K-RON! BUT NO, SHE RATHER THROW THE RADIO BATTERIES OUT THE GODDAMN WINDOW, THEN JUST TAKING THE GIRLS INTO ANOTHER ROOM!
Whatever, I don’t care.
Mal gets home and GUESS WHAT? SHE TOTALLY FORGOT TO CHECK THE MAIL AND GETS CAUGHT! She does end up talking to Dee about everything. And GET THIS SHIT; DEE ACTUALLY HAS SOME GOOD ADVICE TO GIVE; TELLING MAL TO TALK TO THE COACH ABOUT GETTING HELP WITH VOLLEYBALL OR GETTING THE OTHER KIDS TO BACK OFF A BIT! HOLY SHIT, I THINK HELL JUST FROZE OVER! NO WONDER THE WEATHER’S BEEN SO CRAZY! Dee tells Mal that everyone has to do things in life that they can’t run away from and REALLY? THE SAME BITCH WHO DOES FUCK-ALL TO RAISE HER KIDS IS SAYING THIS SHIT?
Then we get to a Cult meeting and the fucking ‘BOYS ARE EVIL AND MUST DIE’ theory comes up again, so I start skimming at warp fucking speed. Doesn’t matter anyway, the girls talk about all the times they sat in this book that haven’t been shown AT ALL, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF SAYING THAT SOME BOYS ARE GOOD, THEY GUESS! OR SOME SUCH SHIT, WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK AT THIS POINT?
Mal sure doesn’t and I roll my eyes so goddamn hard, I nearly headdesked… don’t ask me how! And after the meeting, she runs over to Ben’s for a hug. And she sees that his brothers are cleaning their bedrooms; which haven’t been cleaned in TWO WHOLE DAYS, WHICH MAKES HER MENTION HER ZOO ANIMAL BROTHERS WHO HAVEN’T CLEANED THEIRS IN…MONTHS! OK, again I’m torn between making fun of little boys who clean every day, because God knows most do that too or making fun of the boys for not cleaning EVER! WE ALL KNOW IT’S BEEN LONGER THAN MONTHS AND THAT MAL CLEANS EVERYTHING! MAYBE THE HOBART’S CLEAN SO OFTEN BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS ACTUALLY RAISE THEIR FUCKING KIDS THEMSELVES AND STAY ON TOP OF THEM!
Anyway, Mal starts wishing that she had brothers like the Hobarts and this leads into her and Ben swapping brothers for one night. And Mal starts hoping that having the Hobart boys over will whip everyone else in shape.
Chapters 12-13:
GUESS WHAT, NOT SO MUCH! No instead the Hobart boys act like normal boys, roughhousing and stuff and the Pike boys actually act like responsible, good boys. Which leads me to believe that a few days of boot camp or something would be good for them, until I realize Dee would just turn into Cartman’s mom and all that effort would be shot to shit anyway.
And truthfully, it’s more Mal’s fault anyway; bitch does her homework without checking on them every so often and the tub overflows everywhere. TOP NOTCH JOB THERE, SPARKY! The night continues like that, with the girls sneaking into the boys for pillow fights and ghost stories; one kid even falls out of a bunk bed. Ben ends up calling the house and says that the Pike boys entertained them all night and basically calls her crazy for thinking that her brothers are zoo animals. AGAIN, IT’S YOUR PARENTS! IF THEY ACTED LIKE THE FUCKING HOBART PARENTS, NONE OF THIS SHIT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! BUT YOU PUT THREE BOYS IN A HOUSE WHERE ANYTHING FUCKING GOES AND THEY’RE BOUND TO ACT LIKE APE CHILDREN!
FUCKING HELL!
Chapters 14-15:
Mal FINALLY has that talk with the coach and they work out a deal; Mal tries and the coach has the boys let up on her. But since the book skips the last four classes, I don’t care.
Then we get to the archery unit and I would think that giving kids a FUCKING BOW AND ARROW IS JUST ASKING FOR TROUBLE, BUT WHATEVER! THEY PROBABLY HAVE SAFETY TIPS ON THEM OR SOMETHING, SO WHO CARES? And Mal ends up ruling over everyone and gets an invite to try out for the archery team, which she totally ends up making the team and we never hear of it again until she has to quit when she gets mono. Fucking Hell!
And the kids make a cake to celebrate.
That’s the end, guys! Sorry so short, but this book dragged at the end and I think I burned out snarking this crap book! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you soon!
I’ll probably be updating my other sites this week, so keep checking back. And… IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER VOTE!
Vote until Sunday, first part up Monday!
12. Claudia and the New Girl
22. Jessi Ramsey, Pet-sitter
23. Dawn on the Coast
45. Kristy and the Baby Parade
58. Stacey’s Choice
74. Kristy and the Copycat
75. Jessi’s Horrible Prank
Thanks for voting and see you soon!
Hi guys, hope everyone had a great weekend/Valentine’s/What-have you! I also hope that you’re all safe and warm somewhere, it looks NASTY out!
Thank you all again for your comments/follows/tweets/everything, it really means a lot to me! Now it’s time to end this thing and move on to something else!
*Just to warn you guys, this is gonna be short because the rest of the book is boring as Hell! Sorry!
Without further ado:
Chapter 10:
Mal goes into gym class TOTALLY READY TO PLAY SOME VOLLEYBALL, I SWEAR!
Even Jessi’s shocked by the turn of events, but does tell her that ‘she’ll be great’ BECAUSE THAT’S WHAT A GOOD FRIEND DOES! NOT BITCH AND FUCKING MOAN JUST BECAUSE SHE DARED HAVE DIFFERENT INTERESTS THEN YOU, MAL, K-RON, DAWN… BASICALLY EVERY-FUCKING-ONE IN THESE BOOKS!
So Mal joins the team, all of which crack wise about her coming back and how she sucks. This doesn’t bother our Ginger though, she’s vowed to play and play she will. However, she just CONTINUES TO DO THE SAME FUCKING THING SHE’S BEEN DOING THIS ENTIRE BOOK; TO JUST FUCKING ‘ACT’ LIKE SHE’S PLAYING, BUT NOT ACTUALLY DO IT! Somebody finally wises up that she isn’t doing Jack or Shit and decides to keep serving the ball right to her, leaving her to fucking DUCK EVERY SINGLE TIME! Ok, I get that she’s scared of being hit by the ball and all; BUT JUST SMACK, PUNCH OR TRY TO HIT THE FUCKING THING! Or barring that, just bench yourself again; it’s what you’ve been doing up to now.
Mal bitches and moans some more about being the only one under attack and I really can’t snark this, God knows I’ve been there and it sucks. What I can snark though is this shit; ‘Come on, Mallory! Don’t just stand there!’ SHE’S STILL JUST STANDING THERE, DOUG FUNNIE-ING IT?!
FOR FUCK’S SAKE, BENCH YOURSELF IF YOU DON’T WANNA PLAY! DON’T JUST STAND THERE!
Mal ends up doing just that and then the coach comes up to ask why she continues to bench herself and all Mal can say is that she has no fucking clue why she has to play. REALLY? YOU HAD A GOLDEN OPPORTUNITY TO TELL THE FUCKING COACH WHY YOU DON’T WANNA DO THIS ANYMORE AND YOU FUCKING BLOW IT? DUMBASS! This leads to coach talking about how this will lead to Mal quitting EVERYTHING under the fucking sun and I really don’t think quitting a FUCKING VOLLEYBALL WILL MAKE HER WANT TO DROP OUT OF COLLEGE, BITCH! FUCKING HELL!
Mal tells her the same thing and lies about having her parent’s support to not play; and I’m really surprised the coach didn’t laugh her ass of at that, but whatever. You can’t tell me the teachers aren’t aware of just how shitty the Pike Parents are. Whatever, so Mal gets detention again; but this time SHE’S MADE TO WASH ALL THE NASTY, SWEATY PINNIES IN THE HOME EC ROOM!
· WHO THE FUCK HAD A HOME EC ROOM IN SCHOOL? ESPECIALLY IN JUNIOR HIGH/GRADE SCHOOL?
· I’M TORN BETWEEN THE EW FACTOR OF HAVING TO WASH EVERYONE’S PINNIES AND WANTING TO APPLAUD THE PUNISHMENT IN SOME WAY!
· FOR FUCK’S SAKE MAL, JUST FUCKING TELL THE TEACHER THE REASONS YOU DON’T WANNA PLAY!
So Mal complains to Jessi about having to wash the pinnies and I really do feel bad for Mal, because they didn’t give her gloves or anything to grab the nasty clothes AND the door’s open for everyone to see her! Poor girl. And OF COURSE; the fucking assholes from class look in and crack stupid jokes at her and I would have just either shut the damn door or thrown the nasty pinnies at them, but that’s just me.
Chapter 11:
It would appear that K-Ron has lost her damn mind; it’s the only reason for her to refer to Karen as ‘an angel’ and the boys as ‘devils’. Or for Mal to be right about something.
FUCKING KAREN’S THE GOOD ONE? ARE YOU HIGH, K-RON?
And what’s the big problem the Almighty K-Ron had with the boys? David Michael hogs the TV and when he’s told that Emily gets to watch Care Bears instead, he throws his toys around and Andrew dares to take a Shark Attack game away from Emily because he thinks she’s too little and needs to learn to play it right.
AND WHY IS EMILY, THE TWO YEAR OLD; PLAYING WITH SHARK ATTACK? THAT GAME HAS LITTLE PIECES IN IT, FOR FUCK’S SAKE! AND HOW IS THIS ANY DIFFERENT THAN ANY OTHER BOOK? JUST TELL DAVID MICHAEL TO GO PLAY IN HIS ROOM IF IT’S BOTHERING YOU AND SEND ANDREW WITH HIM; OR LEAVE THE ROOM WITH THE TWO GIRLS AND PLAY ELSEWHERE! YOU HAVE A MANSION, THERE’S ROOM FOR EVERYONE TO PLAY AND NOT SEE EACH OTHER!
K-Ron tries to do as much, but then David Michael starts playing music loud and refuses to leave. Then YOU TOTALLY CAN, K-RON! BUT NO, SHE RATHER THROW THE RADIO BATTERIES OUT THE GODDAMN WINDOW, THEN JUST TAKING THE GIRLS INTO ANOTHER ROOM!
Whatever, I don’t care.
Mal gets home and GUESS WHAT? SHE TOTALLY FORGOT TO CHECK THE MAIL AND GETS CAUGHT! She does end up talking to Dee about everything. And GET THIS SHIT; DEE ACTUALLY HAS SOME GOOD ADVICE TO GIVE; TELLING MAL TO TALK TO THE COACH ABOUT GETTING HELP WITH VOLLEYBALL OR GETTING THE OTHER KIDS TO BACK OFF A BIT! HOLY SHIT, I THINK HELL JUST FROZE OVER! NO WONDER THE WEATHER’S BEEN SO CRAZY! Dee tells Mal that everyone has to do things in life that they can’t run away from and REALLY? THE SAME BITCH WHO DOES FUCK-ALL TO RAISE HER KIDS IS SAYING THIS SHIT?
Then we get to a Cult meeting and the fucking ‘BOYS ARE EVIL AND MUST DIE’ theory comes up again, so I start skimming at warp fucking speed. Doesn’t matter anyway, the girls talk about all the times they sat in this book that haven’t been shown AT ALL, JUST FOR THE SAKE OF SAYING THAT SOME BOYS ARE GOOD, THEY GUESS! OR SOME SUCH SHIT, WHO REALLY GIVES A FUCK AT THIS POINT?
Mal sure doesn’t and I roll my eyes so goddamn hard, I nearly headdesked… don’t ask me how! And after the meeting, she runs over to Ben’s for a hug. And she sees that his brothers are cleaning their bedrooms; which haven’t been cleaned in TWO WHOLE DAYS, WHICH MAKES HER MENTION HER ZOO ANIMAL BROTHERS WHO HAVEN’T CLEANED THEIRS IN…MONTHS! OK, again I’m torn between making fun of little boys who clean every day, because God knows most do that too or making fun of the boys for not cleaning EVER! WE ALL KNOW IT’S BEEN LONGER THAN MONTHS AND THAT MAL CLEANS EVERYTHING! MAYBE THE HOBART’S CLEAN SO OFTEN BECAUSE THEIR PARENTS ACTUALLY RAISE THEIR FUCKING KIDS THEMSELVES AND STAY ON TOP OF THEM!
Anyway, Mal starts wishing that she had brothers like the Hobarts and this leads into her and Ben swapping brothers for one night. And Mal starts hoping that having the Hobart boys over will whip everyone else in shape.
Chapters 12-13:
GUESS WHAT, NOT SO MUCH! No instead the Hobart boys act like normal boys, roughhousing and stuff and the Pike boys actually act like responsible, good boys. Which leads me to believe that a few days of boot camp or something would be good for them, until I realize Dee would just turn into Cartman’s mom and all that effort would be shot to shit anyway.
And truthfully, it’s more Mal’s fault anyway; bitch does her homework without checking on them every so often and the tub overflows everywhere. TOP NOTCH JOB THERE, SPARKY! The night continues like that, with the girls sneaking into the boys for pillow fights and ghost stories; one kid even falls out of a bunk bed. Ben ends up calling the house and says that the Pike boys entertained them all night and basically calls her crazy for thinking that her brothers are zoo animals. AGAIN, IT’S YOUR PARENTS! IF THEY ACTED LIKE THE FUCKING HOBART PARENTS, NONE OF THIS SHIT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED! BUT YOU PUT THREE BOYS IN A HOUSE WHERE ANYTHING FUCKING GOES AND THEY’RE BOUND TO ACT LIKE APE CHILDREN!
FUCKING HELL!
Chapters 14-15:
Mal FINALLY has that talk with the coach and they work out a deal; Mal tries and the coach has the boys let up on her. But since the book skips the last four classes, I don’t care.
Then we get to the archery unit and I would think that giving kids a FUCKING BOW AND ARROW IS JUST ASKING FOR TROUBLE, BUT WHATEVER! THEY PROBABLY HAVE SAFETY TIPS ON THEM OR SOMETHING, SO WHO CARES? And Mal ends up ruling over everyone and gets an invite to try out for the archery team, which she totally ends up making the team and we never hear of it again until she has to quit when she gets mono. Fucking Hell!
And the kids make a cake to celebrate.
That’s the end, guys! Sorry so short, but this book dragged at the end and I think I burned out snarking this crap book! Thanks for reading and I’ll see you soon!
I’ll probably be updating my other sites this week, so keep checking back. And… IT’S TIME FOR ANOTHER VOTE!
Vote until Sunday, first part up Monday!
12. Claudia and the New Girl
22. Jessi Ramsey, Pet-sitter
23. Dawn on the Coast
45. Kristy and the Baby Parade
58. Stacey’s Choice
74. Kristy and the Copycat
75. Jessi’s Horrible Prank
Thanks for voting and see you soon!