Dawn and the We ♥ Kids Club! Part 1!
Greetings, my lovlies! Well, well, well! So, I had a day yesterday wherein I ran out of my anxiety meds which basically takes away my ability to sleep, which means my sleep schedule is totally fubar and since I was awake and bored, I decided to snark. And let me tell you, ladies, this book is fucked. I've mentioned this before, but every Dawn book
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Depending on who you ask, veggie chips aren't exactly health food unless you make them yourself. And if I really want to get totally nit-picky, there's some recent studies that show cooking any food at high heat damages a lot of nutrition, so even if you shove kale into the oven at 450 degrees, you may not be getting what you think you're getting. In short, my life long dream is for Dawn to come to life and me and her go down in a nutrition health food war, because I would totally own that shit.
"One of the things she mentions is that Carol 'tries' to be hip. Three things here. 1) People over 30 are allowed to be cool. I'm fucking cool. My friends are fucking cool. You gals are fucking cool. Being cool doesn't have a fucking age limit. How does Ann, who was around for the fall of the Roman empire, act like people have to be young to be relevant? I'm cooler at 35 than I was at 13."
Totally expected out of the mouth of a 13 year old, but yeesh, Carol sounds pretty typical and actually like a lot of fun, and managed to lay the smack down on Stacey's arse when she ran with the dangerous surfer kids (omg teh tattoos!) in SS#5.
"'My stars and garters! Those chimichangas smell like the bee's knees! 23 skidoo! I haven't had such hotsy-totsy meal since Gatsby's!'"
You know, I can totally hear one of the Perkins kids saying this word for word.
"Anyways, at a W♥KC meeting, Sunny is giving Jill a lesson on surfing because that's the national sport of California."
As a kid this bugged me, mainly because saying your "practicing" surfing in your bedroom on a surfboard is like saying you're "practicing" childbirth by taking a very large dump.
"She also says Maggie looks cool because she has a rat tail"
Maggie + Rat tail = Cool. Ashley Wyath + a Long Skirt = Freak.
Oh, Dawn. You're going to get eaten alive in the real world, my dear.
"awn is described as a-'silken-haired beauty with a laugh like pealing bells'. That's a funny way to spell 'a Naugahyde-skinned harpy with a screech like a pterodactyl in heat'"
LMAO!
"Dawn realises that Sunny is using last year's calender. "
Um, wouldn't that throw them off by a day or more, depending on leap yearage? I don't even want to think about what my planner would look like if the days of the week didn't coincide with the dates. Brain fry.
I don't know why but I LOVE this book. Probably because Dawn's flawed coping mechanisms are called out and Sharon gains a lot of my respect, as well as K-Ron trying to make the Stoneybrook News bite onto her story about the BSC and they keep blowing her off. It's just...so...beautiful.
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