Beware, Dawn! Part 1!

[road_baby]

So, I got my tablet cable and I should be working on my commissions but I wouldn't be me if I wasn't a slut for procrastination. Besides, I've learned to never draw when you're not int the right mood because you will produce garbage. At least that's the excuse I'm giving. Anyways, this book is thankfully not by Suzanne Weyn, but by Ellen Miles. I

Comments

[heymalice]

"That said, the perspective is all fucked up. Either that or that envelope is friggin' huge. I like the hazy Vaseline on the camera lens the left side has too. Gives it that nice softcore porn quality."
--you're right, the perspective is totally fucked, that envelope looks fucking huge. maybe that, taken in context with the softcore porn vibe the left side has going, is a sign that this huge envelope is a metaphor for something else, if you catch my drift. lol.

"Dawn is sitting for the Hobarts and reading a Highlights magazine with Johnny. Which is dangerously close to High Times magazine which is a fixture at the Schafer house. You know Sharon frames the centerfolds and hangs them over family pictures."
--LOL!!!!

"She explains that she loves to baby-sit and how all the kids have different personalities. Yeah, unless they like dresses or are a little clumsy. Then you bitch and whine whenever their parents call."
--word. i fucking hate when they pull that shit.

"So, we do get an answer to one of our questions. BSC members really do space out and start thinking of their and their friends life stories at random."
--LOL. it's a wonder none of them have gotten say, hit by a car while spaced out and chapter two-ing on their way to a meeting or something.

"Given his name and his asshole tendencies, I'm gonna picture this kid as a little Mel Gibson. Dawn waxes poetic about how some kids can be so mean."
--LMFAO!!!

[heymalice]

"Dawn thinks this. She would never be mean to someone she was friends with! She would never scare the living daylights out of a friend! She would never write the world's worst hate poem about someone she cared about! She would never get all her friends to turn against her best friend because she got a haircut! Mean?! Dawn doesn't even know how to spell it! I see you, Ellen Miles, you ain't cute."
--hadn't ellen miles never read a dawn book?!?!??!

"Dawn? The kids at SMS grew up with Claudia Kishi. She watched Zoolander and thought Derelicte sounded like a great fashion line and made a dress out of a trash bag. Stop trying to make yourself sound edgy and alternative when you're boring corn pone. Oh, sorry, tofu pone."
--LMFAO!!!

"I want to know why the Hobart boys even hang around those two. If I was hanging out with someone and they kept calling me taco or something, I'd burn a fucker down. Especially if I'd told them before not to call me that."
--seriously. there are so many other kids in this town, yet they continue to hang out with these douchebags? everyone in these books is like a glutton for punishment or something.

"Ben comes home from the library where he was studying with Mal. Dawn says they make a cute couple which surprises the Hell outta me that Ann would allow that word in the same sentence as Mal. A sentence that isn't 'And Mal isn't in any way, shape or form, cute.'"
--for real. it's always shocking when a nice comment involving mallory squeaks passed the censors.

"Dawn walks home thinking she'll have to give Mary Anne a 'report' on the Mal/Ben situation."
--ugh, none of anyone's fucking business but mallory's and ben's. this annoyed me when i reread this book.

"Like, really, Dawn. You know she's a crybaby who gets traumatized over the littlest thing yet you still saw it fit to scare the shit out of her because you made a mistake. I know I bring it up a lot, but Goddamn if that wasn't the worst thing I ever read. Because even when I read a book about a psycho killer qu'est-ce que c'est, they don't pretend to be friends with their victims afterwards! I reiterate, Dawn is a Goddamn sociopath."
--i wholeheartedly agree!!!

[heymalice]

"Dawn gets in a nice bitchy remark when she says Stacey knows how to apply make-up, unlike the hos at school who look like 'they should be on a stage under bright lights!' Which when you think about it makes no damned sense. Is she saying the look like Broadway actors? But Broadway is in New York! Capitol of cool! Why not compare them to clowns, you clod? That would make sense. What you did was a backhanded compliment. Jesus, not only is Dawn a sociopath she's fucking stupid."
--god, i hate dawn so fucking much. is she forgetting her make up experiment when lewis visited? i bet she looked worse than any of the girls at school.

"And yes, she was lost in thought again while Mary Anne was trying to get her attention. Holding a conversation with a BSC member must be a fucking ordeal if they can't pay attention for more than a minute without thinking about what clothes their friends wear or their eating habits or some shit."
--LMFAO! seriously!

"t's interspersed with Mal and Jessi pissing their panties because Ben called Mal a 'bonzer Sheila'. Do we have any Australian peeps who can either confirm or deny that this is something people actually say or is this just more patented Ann stereotypes? I swear she makes It's a Small World look accurate and nuanced. I surprised she doesn't write the US as nothing but cowboys and Indians with sophisticated robots on one coast and a hippie commune on the other."
--LOL, for real. but to ann, anything outside of the states doesn't really exist, it's all make believe fairylands or some shit to her, filled with stereotypes. i guess when ann was a kid, they didn't teach you fuck all about other countries or cultures in school, so all she knows about anything outside of the US is TV and movie stereotypes. not that she knows much about the states, either, except for a tourist's version of NYC. she's a dumbs.

"I'll just pretend when it says 'Karen' it really says 'Nyogtha, The Thing Which Should Not Be'."
--LOL!

"Well, whatta ya know! Nyogtha, The Thing Which Should Not Be, is be a particular little brat wanting things done a certain way! Because there's rules to eating crackers! Mmm hmm! Did you know hypocrisy tastes just like sweet drain cleaner? Ann's favourite flavour! Okay, so her real favourite flavour is White Angel but hypocrisy is her second."
--LOL. and WOW, ANN! can you make me hate you even more?

"Dawn is like 'An arbitrary contest I can pin my self worth on?!' and starts foaming at the mouth."
--god, dawn is so fucking pathetic.

[heymalice]

To show she's a fun sitter, she has them play Let's All Come In because pleasing Nyogtha, The Thing Which Should Not Be, is always the top priority in the 'Brook. David M is like 'That sucks donkey balls' and because Nyogtha, The Thing Which Should Not Be, must be pleased, Dawn says they'll make it fun rather than come up with something they all enjoy in the first place."
--it's always all about what karen wants, isn't it? it's like the sitters are afraid she'll have them banished to the cornfield or something, if they don't cater to her constantly.

"Dawn strokes her boner some about how she has this contest in the bag."
--omfg, i nearly spit coffee all over my laptop screen! LOLFOREVER.

"There's no way she'll lose some piddling contest and not have her ego appeased. Because as we all know, Dawn is the best person in the world and everyone should grovel at her feet."
--ha, fuck you dawn, i hope you go down in fucking flames!

"Everyone agrees to keep their wits except K. Ron who just says she likes to win. Hssssst. I hate her so much. I really do. She's the kind of bitch who would say 'Well, I got the most scabies, so I win!'"
--LOL, totally. i can totally see her doing that.

"Like, I hate Dawn more than anything, but if me and K. Ron were running from zombies, I'd shoot her in the kneecap. Make sure she's alive when they catch her."
--LMFAO!

"Thinking about that fiasco makes everyone say, yeah, they'll keep their heads except K. Ron who's probably thinking of cookies powdered with mescaline and a lava light to entertain the kiddies. Anything to win!"
--LOLOLOL! i love this snark! can't wait to read more!

[road_baby]

Thank you! I might have to do two comics to show Dawn getting hit by a car while thinking about how Claudia has three ear piercings or something.

Don't you know? Rules don't apply to DAWN! If other girls want to wear make up they're shallow and look like clowns! If DAWN wants to wear make up to impress a boy, it's all cool! Only DAWN is allowed to ever do anything! Everyone else has to be looked down upon by Queen Organic Granola Douche!

[pi_beta_alpha]

"Organic Granola Douche!"

Oh hell with the soft core porn looking cover and the organic granola douche, this book is heading in a very disturbing direction, LMAO!!

Also, a side note, as a kid I always wanted to pronounce this book "BewarD, Dawn". Now it sounds like "Be-Weird, Dawn" which..lets face it, if you douche with granola, you're pretty screwed up.

[heymalice]

you so have to do those comics!! i would LOVE to see those! holy SHIT would i ever!!

LOL, "queen organic granola douche"!!! and that's exactly it.