Dawn and the School Spirit War! Part 2!
Well, goodness, gals! I should have gotten this up a lot sooner but life got in my way. In baddish news, Jynxie appears to be a little under the weather and I'm not exactly dripping with cash to take her to the vet. But in some news that made me believe in humanity again, I opened art commissions to help pay my vet bill and have had a general outpouring of support. Say what you will about Tumblr, but they do love kitties. So, I was busy working on commissions when my tablet cable crapped out on me. And since I can't sleep I was like, I really should work on my snark. So, I'm up too late reading about some of the stupidest shit to ever go down. I was also pleasantly surprised by some of it, as you will see. It's a long one! Well, let's go!
Part 1!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 6!
On Friday, Dawn confirms she wears nothing but Texas Tuxedos by wearing jeans and a blue work shirt. When she goes downstairs, Mary Anne is dressed in a yellow dress and yellow tights. As I said before, I'll forgive MA owning so much yellow because I remember her mentioning that it's one of her fave colours. Dawn starts panicking that she has no yellow in her wardrobe and again I find that a little weird since the sun is yellow and she loves skin cancer. Even weirder, she says she doesn't look good in yellow. I would never think Dawn of all people would admit to not looking good in something. She runs upstairs and finds a pair of yellow socks. She completes her outfit with a denim jacket so, yeah. She wears nothing but denim 24/7. Don't make up wardrobe terms like 'California Causal' if you can't think of what that means, Ann.
Because Ann knows how to write a believable world, the news van is at SMS today too. Because a middle school holding a spirit month isn't just a blurb that gets mentioned at the end of the news. Not in Stoneybrook! In Stoneybrook the news is so slow they cover that shit all month! Dawn recognizes the news lady as one Mimi Snowden. Really, Ann? You reused the name Mimi? Is nothing sacred? Mimi is talking to Grace and somehow Dawn doesn't mention their whole feud which throws me off because when does Ann skip pointless filler? Mimi spots Dawn and calls to her and Dawn stupidly goes over. Mimi is like 'Where's your yellow, hmm?!' and we get our cover picture. Mimi is like 'Where's your spirit, hmm?!' and Dawn is like 'I forgot'. And that's it. Not the epic throw-down the cover promised us.
In homeroom, everyone is commenting on Dawn's lack of yellow so, she pulls up her pants to show her socks. Because she has to show she is conforming, gawl! Don't think I'm an individual or something! Shawna Riverson is also not dressed in yellow and people are trying to tape yellow paper to her. I refuse to believe anyone would care to these extremes. Mary Anne tells the kids they should leave Shawna alone which is a little weird seeing as this is the bitch that framed Claudia. All throughout the day, people make remarks about Dawn and any other kid who isn't wearing their grades' colour. And I would have been right boned because I don't own any yellow or red clothes. I do have a bomb ass Slytherin shirt so I would have gotten away with the green. But really, the majority of my wardrobe is black or blue.
At lunch, Dawn notices that Stacey isn't wearing yellow but Robert is. It's kinda creepy how she has to check what Stacey is doing everyday. Dawn has all the makings of an excellent Facebook stalker. K. Ron is being a pain in the ass as per usual by asking Dawn where's her spirit, hmm?! And she says it with 'an edge in her voice'. God, Kristy, it's not like it was one of your ideas. It's not that big a fucking deal. Dawn says what's the point of it and K. Ron is like 'To cheer on our team! To help them win go go team!' And then we get to the meat of the problem when Dawn asks if it's a competition to show which grade has the most spirit and K. Ron says it is. Mm hmm! Well, if it's a competition no wonder K. Ron is so adamant about it. The girl could take a dump and brag about how big it is and that she's Queen Shit of Toilet Bowl Hill.
After lunch, Dawn sees that the pep squad sprayed yellow silly string on her locker. I for one am surprised she didn't launch into a tirade about how silly string isn't biodegradable and all the wittle baby aminals that will eat it and die (hey, heymalice!). By the end of the day, she's pretty pissed everyone treated her like a leper for not conforming. And yeah, that would make me pissy too. It's probably the only time Dawn showed actual individuality in the whole series. Although it's probably more to do with people not bowing down to her than anything else. And it does show the problems with schools having spirit weeks because it divides everyone up. Then again, I don't see anyone caring this much about it. But maybe schools were just different during the Taft presidency when Ann went to school.
When they get home, Mary Anne runs to her room to cry. Dawn follows her and asks her what's wrong. MA tells her she's upset about what happened at school today, and because she's the most self-centered person in the world, Dawn says not to worry about her feelings, she was just annoyed. Hilariously, MA shuts that shit down and says she wasn't worried about her in the least. Ah hahahahahaha! I don't care if Mary Anne is a passive aggressive little shit, I love her for this. I love anyone telling Dawn she's not the center of the universe. Mary Anne says she's worried about when pyjama day comes along and she'll either have to wear her pjs or be ridiculed. And again, I really feel for her here. It's terrible when you get in those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations.
Before they can come to a solution, Sharon calls them downstairs. They're showing the news coverage and there's Dawn because of course she's there. Dawn has a chance to hear what Mimi said about her afterwards and she's like, 'Well, most of the student body has spirit! Just not this blonde bitch!' Sharon is like 'How very dare she!' and says she's gonna call the news station to complain. Wow. She's hasn't been this mad since the Cheech and Chong movie was checked out at Blockbuster. 'I spent all day rolling these blunts! Now what am I gonna watch?!' Mary Anne throws herself on the fainting couch and woes about the whole thing. Sharon tells them that they should start a petition to do away with spirit month and Dawn and MA look at each other like 'Do we dare?' Cliffhanger!
Chapter 7!
And make a petition they do!
'We, the undersigned, petition for the immediate elimination of School Spirit Month. We feel that the activities are dividing the student body in an unhealthy way and are sometimes even demeaning. Real school spirit is promoted by a sincere respect and concern for the well-being of all students. In calling for the end of School Spirit Month, we feel we are demonstrating out true school spirit and not some false show of meaningless zeal.'
Not bad, not bad. Of course, making a petition gives Dawn an excuse to ass pat herself about how she's always standing up for her beliefs. 1) I don't call being a shrill, sanctimonious asshole with a martyr complex the size of Betelgeuse standing up for your beliefs. You can stand up for your beliefs without putting other people down, ya know. 2) You only stand up for your beliefs till some cute guy comes around swinging his dick and then you throw everything out the window in an effort to ride him. You know if a guy Dawn was interested in was into spirit month, she would have got jaundice to prove how into the colour yellow she is. God, I hate Dawn! I hate everything about her! She's such a self-righteous fuck! *sobs* Hera give me the strength to get through this!
The girls get to school early and come across Emily Bernstein and ask her to sign their petition. She and another girl are all too happy to sign because of the totally believable idea that they're upset on how spirit month cuts into the time they could be doing schoolwork. Yup! Totally believable! Frankly, if I heard someone say that, I'd shove them into a locker where they belonged. Exactly why I hated Hermione so much. Brown nosers annoy me. Plus she was too self-righteous for my liking. Book Hermione is annoying but movie Hermione I despise. Anyways, where was I? Oh, Emily says that she'll print out some copies to hand around the school.
As they're getting more kids to sign, a school spirit supporter says that SSM is fun. She also says Dawn just wants Mimi to come back and put her on tv again. Ah hahahahahaha! Flawless victory! It would not surprise me in the least if that's all Dawn was up to. She's such a shit stirrer. I scream with laughter when someone writes 'Go back to California, you weirdo' on Dawn's locker. Oh, my God! Seriously, I'm laughing so hard I made myself sick. This is absolutely the greatest moment in BSC history! No matter what garbage this book throws at me, I'll deal with it because I can look back at this and howl with laughter. I hoping they really wanted to write 'Go back to Hell, you cunt' but Ann nixed that. Omg. This is too hilarious.
Even more hilariously, Dawn is staring at her locker wondering who would do such a thing. Like her bony ass wouldn't do the same thing to someone for eating a hamburger. She's the kind of annoying twat to dress up as the Grim Reaper outside a KFC. As she's trying to figure out who could ever be mean to her virtuous ass, Stacey comes up and asks to sign the petition. For some reason, seeing Stacey right after someone told her the truth is too much for her and she almost starts to cry. This book is great! I was going to go make me a mug cookie but this is so much sweeter!
At lunch, K. Ron and Claudia have sticks up their ass because Mary Anne and Dawn refuse to join the collective. K. Ron is especially bitchy, saying Logan probably doesn't want to be around Mary Anne because she's a traitorous bitch. MA tells her that Logan tells her to do what she feels is right. Yeah, unless it means not bowing to his whims and being ready to be at his beck and call. K. Ron almost endears herself to me when she tells Dawn she's only happy when she has 'a cause to crusade for'. Ah hahahahahaha! This book is killing me! The hilarity continues when K. Ron tells them to give up and Dawn says she thinks that just because she's president of the BSC, she thinks she can boss everyone around. Ah hahahahahaha! Oh, my Godddddd! This is so good! I never thought I'd say this, but go Suzanne Weyn! Mary Anne and Dawn go to eat lunch elsewhere.
Things keep getting better when the school gathers in the gym for Make a New friend Day. Dawn looks around for someone she doesn't know claiming she knows a lot of kids. Read: yelled at people for not sucking tofu and shitting in a box to save water. She spots a seventh grade girl and goes to introduce herself. But when she say who she is, the girl is like 'That bitch trying to ruin our fun? Thanks but no thanks.' I don't recall reading a book that made me laugh this much. She tries again with another girl but she recognizes her too and is like 'Bye, Felicia'. And since that girl is described as 'plump with black hair' I'm hoping I somehow made it into Ann's mind and she put me in the book declaring my hatred of Dawn. I'm magic!
Chapter 8!
As the week progresses, more and more people sign Dawn's petition. But the kids who are into it are being assholes to them. Some guy named Bruce tries to rip it up but Logan stops him. Bruce asks Logan if he's totally pussy whipped or what. Logan is like 'No, scrote, I'm the controlling one in my relationship.' Bruce says he should be embarrassed to date Mary Anne and Bruce? Logan is the embarrassing one. Need I remind you about his Cats inspired Halloween costume? Because he went out in public in that.
Dawn finds a hate letter in her locker saying people will get hurt if they don't stop their petition. Um, Schafer? Go to the principal. That is some worrying shit. But of course, getting adults involved in potentially dangerous situations isn't something Ann would ever recommend, so Dawn does nothing. It was probably just K. Ron anyway. The next day, Emily tells her that a lot of kids are signing simply because the pro SSM kids are being assholes.
At lunch, K. Ron is absent and Claudia says she said she had to study. Dawn realizes that she's annoying and says K. Ron is just avoiding her. She asks Claudia how she feels about it, and she tells her that she thinks they're making a big deal over nothing. Claud says that they're dividing the school and somehow Dawn doesn't point out that the whole SSM did that in the first place. Oh, wait. That would have been smart and defending herself justly. Some character assassination happens when Alan dumps his spaghetti on Dawn's head. So, he has his bully switch on in this book. Also, ah hahahahahaha! I just wish all of Dawn's hair fell out by being touched by meat. Claudia tries to throw her pudding at him (like Claudia would waste a dessert), but misses and hits some girl. And of course a food fight ensues. Because those always happen in Ann's world.
During the next period, the principal announces that the mural painting will be postponed so that they can hold an assembly to discuss SSM. Emily meets up with Dawn and MA and tells them that they should present their petition to Mr Taylor at the assembly. They did manage to collect about 300 signatures which is pretty impressive. I also wonder how damned big SMS is because I don't think we had 300+ kids in my middle school. Mr Taylor tells kids to line up to speak at the podium and the first girl to go up is a rabble rouser, who basically yells that if you don't support SSM you suck and should die in a fire. And because it was Drink a Bottle of Tequila Day for the faculty, they just let the screaming matches slide. But as soon as Logan gets up to tell them that the whole reason for SSM is to support the baseball team, Mr Taylor is like 'Get to the point, Bruno.' So, I guess it was also Do Crack in the Teachers' Lounge Day too. It's nice to know some things never change.
Finally, it's Dawn's turn to speak and someone yells, 'Sit down, you California freak!' and I wish you could buy a fictional character a car. You know it's burning Dawn's ass that they're saying coming from California makes her a freak when she thinks it makes her a special snowflake. Because, like Stacey, she thinks thinks coming from a certain place makes you better than everyone else no matter how many millions of people come from there. She tells that she's been collecting signatures and she's not the only one unhappy with SSM. She's meet with boos which makes me happy. I don't care if I'd be against SSM too. I'm more against sanctimonious sea hags. When she sits down, someone smacks her in the face with one of those vending machine sticky hands. Don't get me wrong. I'm against bullying. But this is Dawn. My enemy. And this is fucking delicious.
Chapter 9!
Weyn, you really can't expect me to care about what's going on at the Barrett/DeWitt house of horrors. Honestly...I can't even name a single DeWitt kid. Not only were they after my time but I think they're just pointless filler characters. I mean, I have read like, two books with them, but gun to my head, I can't remember a damned thing about any of them. They were all completely bland and undeveloped. Ann can't do characterizations at the best of times, but adding some filler kids for no reason other than to pad out some story lines? They basically fall under the Sexy Lamp trope. Can anyone name them or say anything about their personalities? I guess Ann used up all her 'creativity' when she came up with such characterizations like 'Speaks in rhyme' (Vanessa) 'Vomits in social situations' (Charlotte), and 'Is half potato' (Nicky).
Chapter 10!
When Dawn gets to school on Monday, Emily stops her outside the school paper office and tells her that the rival school Who Gives a Shit is having the same problem with SSM. How much do you want to bet the news station is ignoring that school in favour of hanging around the one the BSC attends? Dawn goes to her locker and finds that someone glued it shut. As she heads to homeroom, Mary Anne says she couldn't get her locker open either. Mr Taylor comes on the PA system and says that they'll be holding another meeting and this time parents are invited. He also says that any students found harassing anyone else will be dealt with. But let's be realistic here. This is SMS. This is the school that routinely hires it's faculty from the dumpster behind Big Crazy Al's House of Chicken and Sanatorium.
Before second to last period, Emily stops dawn and gives her a leaflet that says they're holding a protest. They'll sit out of the last two periods and stay in the cafeteria. Dawn takes it to Mary Anne and she asks Dawn if she's going to go. Dawn says she supposes they have to go. They were the ones who started it all. I gotta say, I'm a little surprised at Dawn's mettle. I'm so used to her caving in when things get rough. Is this the same Dawn that threw the world's most epic and expensive bitch fit because her dad was getting remarried? Anyway, they go to the protest and it's really boring.
Afterwards, as Dawn is heading out, she sees that the pro SSM kids were working on the school murals and admires one that she can 'tell' Claudia worked on. At the BSC meeting, Claudia is mad because someone smeared the paint on her mural. Everyone is surprised by this and when Mary Anne expresses her dismay, Claudia tells her she doubts she really cares. Logan says the real tragedy is that none of the murals had anything to do with baseball. Oh, my God. What a dingus! Claudia says that baseball isn't 'beautiful' enough to paint. Shannon says she hopes her school never has a SSM if they're this much trouble. K. Ron has to be an irritating taint stain and say that she hopes they do have SSM and that a bunch of killjoys don't ruin the fun. And fight nearly breaks out but Shannon breaks it up by bringing up the Barrett/DeWitt kids and my interest jumps down a hole like a Silent Hill protagonist facing the abyss.
-A) Jump down the hole leadin to pschological terror B) Read about dull kids? A-
Part 1!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 6!
On Friday, Dawn confirms she wears nothing but Texas Tuxedos by wearing jeans and a blue work shirt. When she goes downstairs, Mary Anne is dressed in a yellow dress and yellow tights. As I said before, I'll forgive MA owning so much yellow because I remember her mentioning that it's one of her fave colours. Dawn starts panicking that she has no yellow in her wardrobe and again I find that a little weird since the sun is yellow and she loves skin cancer. Even weirder, she says she doesn't look good in yellow. I would never think Dawn of all people would admit to not looking good in something. She runs upstairs and finds a pair of yellow socks. She completes her outfit with a denim jacket so, yeah. She wears nothing but denim 24/7. Don't make up wardrobe terms like 'California Causal' if you can't think of what that means, Ann.
Because Ann knows how to write a believable world, the news van is at SMS today too. Because a middle school holding a spirit month isn't just a blurb that gets mentioned at the end of the news. Not in Stoneybrook! In Stoneybrook the news is so slow they cover that shit all month! Dawn recognizes the news lady as one Mimi Snowden. Really, Ann? You reused the name Mimi? Is nothing sacred? Mimi is talking to Grace and somehow Dawn doesn't mention their whole feud which throws me off because when does Ann skip pointless filler? Mimi spots Dawn and calls to her and Dawn stupidly goes over. Mimi is like 'Where's your yellow, hmm?!' and we get our cover picture. Mimi is like 'Where's your spirit, hmm?!' and Dawn is like 'I forgot'. And that's it. Not the epic throw-down the cover promised us.
In homeroom, everyone is commenting on Dawn's lack of yellow so, she pulls up her pants to show her socks. Because she has to show she is conforming, gawl! Don't think I'm an individual or something! Shawna Riverson is also not dressed in yellow and people are trying to tape yellow paper to her. I refuse to believe anyone would care to these extremes. Mary Anne tells the kids they should leave Shawna alone which is a little weird seeing as this is the bitch that framed Claudia. All throughout the day, people make remarks about Dawn and any other kid who isn't wearing their grades' colour. And I would have been right boned because I don't own any yellow or red clothes. I do have a bomb ass Slytherin shirt so I would have gotten away with the green. But really, the majority of my wardrobe is black or blue.
At lunch, Dawn notices that Stacey isn't wearing yellow but Robert is. It's kinda creepy how she has to check what Stacey is doing everyday. Dawn has all the makings of an excellent Facebook stalker. K. Ron is being a pain in the ass as per usual by asking Dawn where's her spirit, hmm?! And she says it with 'an edge in her voice'. God, Kristy, it's not like it was one of your ideas. It's not that big a fucking deal. Dawn says what's the point of it and K. Ron is like 'To cheer on our team! To help them win go go team!' And then we get to the meat of the problem when Dawn asks if it's a competition to show which grade has the most spirit and K. Ron says it is. Mm hmm! Well, if it's a competition no wonder K. Ron is so adamant about it. The girl could take a dump and brag about how big it is and that she's Queen Shit of Toilet Bowl Hill.
After lunch, Dawn sees that the pep squad sprayed yellow silly string on her locker. I for one am surprised she didn't launch into a tirade about how silly string isn't biodegradable and all the wittle baby aminals that will eat it and die (hey, heymalice!). By the end of the day, she's pretty pissed everyone treated her like a leper for not conforming. And yeah, that would make me pissy too. It's probably the only time Dawn showed actual individuality in the whole series. Although it's probably more to do with people not bowing down to her than anything else. And it does show the problems with schools having spirit weeks because it divides everyone up. Then again, I don't see anyone caring this much about it. But maybe schools were just different during the Taft presidency when Ann went to school.
When they get home, Mary Anne runs to her room to cry. Dawn follows her and asks her what's wrong. MA tells her she's upset about what happened at school today, and because she's the most self-centered person in the world, Dawn says not to worry about her feelings, she was just annoyed. Hilariously, MA shuts that shit down and says she wasn't worried about her in the least. Ah hahahahahaha! I don't care if Mary Anne is a passive aggressive little shit, I love her for this. I love anyone telling Dawn she's not the center of the universe. Mary Anne says she's worried about when pyjama day comes along and she'll either have to wear her pjs or be ridiculed. And again, I really feel for her here. It's terrible when you get in those damned if you do, damned if you don't situations.
Before they can come to a solution, Sharon calls them downstairs. They're showing the news coverage and there's Dawn because of course she's there. Dawn has a chance to hear what Mimi said about her afterwards and she's like, 'Well, most of the student body has spirit! Just not this blonde bitch!' Sharon is like 'How very dare she!' and says she's gonna call the news station to complain. Wow. She's hasn't been this mad since the Cheech and Chong movie was checked out at Blockbuster. 'I spent all day rolling these blunts! Now what am I gonna watch?!' Mary Anne throws herself on the fainting couch and woes about the whole thing. Sharon tells them that they should start a petition to do away with spirit month and Dawn and MA look at each other like 'Do we dare?' Cliffhanger!
Chapter 7!
And make a petition they do!
'We, the undersigned, petition for the immediate elimination of School Spirit Month. We feel that the activities are dividing the student body in an unhealthy way and are sometimes even demeaning. Real school spirit is promoted by a sincere respect and concern for the well-being of all students. In calling for the end of School Spirit Month, we feel we are demonstrating out true school spirit and not some false show of meaningless zeal.'
Not bad, not bad. Of course, making a petition gives Dawn an excuse to ass pat herself about how she's always standing up for her beliefs. 1) I don't call being a shrill, sanctimonious asshole with a martyr complex the size of Betelgeuse standing up for your beliefs. You can stand up for your beliefs without putting other people down, ya know. 2) You only stand up for your beliefs till some cute guy comes around swinging his dick and then you throw everything out the window in an effort to ride him. You know if a guy Dawn was interested in was into spirit month, she would have got jaundice to prove how into the colour yellow she is. God, I hate Dawn! I hate everything about her! She's such a self-righteous fuck! *sobs* Hera give me the strength to get through this!
The girls get to school early and come across Emily Bernstein and ask her to sign their petition. She and another girl are all too happy to sign because of the totally believable idea that they're upset on how spirit month cuts into the time they could be doing schoolwork. Yup! Totally believable! Frankly, if I heard someone say that, I'd shove them into a locker where they belonged. Exactly why I hated Hermione so much. Brown nosers annoy me. Plus she was too self-righteous for my liking. Book Hermione is annoying but movie Hermione I despise. Anyways, where was I? Oh, Emily says that she'll print out some copies to hand around the school.
As they're getting more kids to sign, a school spirit supporter says that SSM is fun. She also says Dawn just wants Mimi to come back and put her on tv again. Ah hahahahahaha! Flawless victory! It would not surprise me in the least if that's all Dawn was up to. She's such a shit stirrer. I scream with laughter when someone writes 'Go back to California, you weirdo' on Dawn's locker. Oh, my God! Seriously, I'm laughing so hard I made myself sick. This is absolutely the greatest moment in BSC history! No matter what garbage this book throws at me, I'll deal with it because I can look back at this and howl with laughter. I hoping they really wanted to write 'Go back to Hell, you cunt' but Ann nixed that. Omg. This is too hilarious.
Even more hilariously, Dawn is staring at her locker wondering who would do such a thing. Like her bony ass wouldn't do the same thing to someone for eating a hamburger. She's the kind of annoying twat to dress up as the Grim Reaper outside a KFC. As she's trying to figure out who could ever be mean to her virtuous ass, Stacey comes up and asks to sign the petition. For some reason, seeing Stacey right after someone told her the truth is too much for her and she almost starts to cry. This book is great! I was going to go make me a mug cookie but this is so much sweeter!
At lunch, K. Ron and Claudia have sticks up their ass because Mary Anne and Dawn refuse to join the collective. K. Ron is especially bitchy, saying Logan probably doesn't want to be around Mary Anne because she's a traitorous bitch. MA tells her that Logan tells her to do what she feels is right. Yeah, unless it means not bowing to his whims and being ready to be at his beck and call. K. Ron almost endears herself to me when she tells Dawn she's only happy when she has 'a cause to crusade for'. Ah hahahahahaha! This book is killing me! The hilarity continues when K. Ron tells them to give up and Dawn says she thinks that just because she's president of the BSC, she thinks she can boss everyone around. Ah hahahahahaha! Oh, my Godddddd! This is so good! I never thought I'd say this, but go Suzanne Weyn! Mary Anne and Dawn go to eat lunch elsewhere.
Things keep getting better when the school gathers in the gym for Make a New friend Day. Dawn looks around for someone she doesn't know claiming she knows a lot of kids. Read: yelled at people for not sucking tofu and shitting in a box to save water. She spots a seventh grade girl and goes to introduce herself. But when she say who she is, the girl is like 'That bitch trying to ruin our fun? Thanks but no thanks.' I don't recall reading a book that made me laugh this much. She tries again with another girl but she recognizes her too and is like 'Bye, Felicia'. And since that girl is described as 'plump with black hair' I'm hoping I somehow made it into Ann's mind and she put me in the book declaring my hatred of Dawn. I'm magic!
Chapter 8!
As the week progresses, more and more people sign Dawn's petition. But the kids who are into it are being assholes to them. Some guy named Bruce tries to rip it up but Logan stops him. Bruce asks Logan if he's totally pussy whipped or what. Logan is like 'No, scrote, I'm the controlling one in my relationship.' Bruce says he should be embarrassed to date Mary Anne and Bruce? Logan is the embarrassing one. Need I remind you about his Cats inspired Halloween costume? Because he went out in public in that.
Dawn finds a hate letter in her locker saying people will get hurt if they don't stop their petition. Um, Schafer? Go to the principal. That is some worrying shit. But of course, getting adults involved in potentially dangerous situations isn't something Ann would ever recommend, so Dawn does nothing. It was probably just K. Ron anyway. The next day, Emily tells her that a lot of kids are signing simply because the pro SSM kids are being assholes.
At lunch, K. Ron is absent and Claudia says she said she had to study. Dawn realizes that she's annoying and says K. Ron is just avoiding her. She asks Claudia how she feels about it, and she tells her that she thinks they're making a big deal over nothing. Claud says that they're dividing the school and somehow Dawn doesn't point out that the whole SSM did that in the first place. Oh, wait. That would have been smart and defending herself justly. Some character assassination happens when Alan dumps his spaghetti on Dawn's head. So, he has his bully switch on in this book. Also, ah hahahahahaha! I just wish all of Dawn's hair fell out by being touched by meat. Claudia tries to throw her pudding at him (like Claudia would waste a dessert), but misses and hits some girl. And of course a food fight ensues. Because those always happen in Ann's world.
During the next period, the principal announces that the mural painting will be postponed so that they can hold an assembly to discuss SSM. Emily meets up with Dawn and MA and tells them that they should present their petition to Mr Taylor at the assembly. They did manage to collect about 300 signatures which is pretty impressive. I also wonder how damned big SMS is because I don't think we had 300+ kids in my middle school. Mr Taylor tells kids to line up to speak at the podium and the first girl to go up is a rabble rouser, who basically yells that if you don't support SSM you suck and should die in a fire. And because it was Drink a Bottle of Tequila Day for the faculty, they just let the screaming matches slide. But as soon as Logan gets up to tell them that the whole reason for SSM is to support the baseball team, Mr Taylor is like 'Get to the point, Bruno.' So, I guess it was also Do Crack in the Teachers' Lounge Day too. It's nice to know some things never change.
Finally, it's Dawn's turn to speak and someone yells, 'Sit down, you California freak!' and I wish you could buy a fictional character a car. You know it's burning Dawn's ass that they're saying coming from California makes her a freak when she thinks it makes her a special snowflake. Because, like Stacey, she thinks thinks coming from a certain place makes you better than everyone else no matter how many millions of people come from there. She tells that she's been collecting signatures and she's not the only one unhappy with SSM. She's meet with boos which makes me happy. I don't care if I'd be against SSM too. I'm more against sanctimonious sea hags. When she sits down, someone smacks her in the face with one of those vending machine sticky hands. Don't get me wrong. I'm against bullying. But this is Dawn. My enemy. And this is fucking delicious.
Chapter 9!
Weyn, you really can't expect me to care about what's going on at the Barrett/DeWitt house of horrors. Honestly...I can't even name a single DeWitt kid. Not only were they after my time but I think they're just pointless filler characters. I mean, I have read like, two books with them, but gun to my head, I can't remember a damned thing about any of them. They were all completely bland and undeveloped. Ann can't do characterizations at the best of times, but adding some filler kids for no reason other than to pad out some story lines? They basically fall under the Sexy Lamp trope. Can anyone name them or say anything about their personalities? I guess Ann used up all her 'creativity' when she came up with such characterizations like 'Speaks in rhyme' (Vanessa) 'Vomits in social situations' (Charlotte), and 'Is half potato' (Nicky).
Chapter 10!
When Dawn gets to school on Monday, Emily stops her outside the school paper office and tells her that the rival school Who Gives a Shit is having the same problem with SSM. How much do you want to bet the news station is ignoring that school in favour of hanging around the one the BSC attends? Dawn goes to her locker and finds that someone glued it shut. As she heads to homeroom, Mary Anne says she couldn't get her locker open either. Mr Taylor comes on the PA system and says that they'll be holding another meeting and this time parents are invited. He also says that any students found harassing anyone else will be dealt with. But let's be realistic here. This is SMS. This is the school that routinely hires it's faculty from the dumpster behind Big Crazy Al's House of Chicken and Sanatorium.
Before second to last period, Emily stops dawn and gives her a leaflet that says they're holding a protest. They'll sit out of the last two periods and stay in the cafeteria. Dawn takes it to Mary Anne and she asks Dawn if she's going to go. Dawn says she supposes they have to go. They were the ones who started it all. I gotta say, I'm a little surprised at Dawn's mettle. I'm so used to her caving in when things get rough. Is this the same Dawn that threw the world's most epic and expensive bitch fit because her dad was getting remarried? Anyway, they go to the protest and it's really boring.
Afterwards, as Dawn is heading out, she sees that the pro SSM kids were working on the school murals and admires one that she can 'tell' Claudia worked on. At the BSC meeting, Claudia is mad because someone smeared the paint on her mural. Everyone is surprised by this and when Mary Anne expresses her dismay, Claudia tells her she doubts she really cares. Logan says the real tragedy is that none of the murals had anything to do with baseball. Oh, my God. What a dingus! Claudia says that baseball isn't 'beautiful' enough to paint. Shannon says she hopes her school never has a SSM if they're this much trouble. K. Ron has to be an irritating taint stain and say that she hopes they do have SSM and that a bunch of killjoys don't ruin the fun. And fight nearly breaks out but Shannon breaks it up by bringing up the Barrett/DeWitt kids and my interest jumps down a hole like a Silent Hill protagonist facing the abyss.
-A) Jump down the hole leadin to pschological terror B) Read about dull kids? A-