Poor Mallory! Part 2!
Geeze, gals, I'm sorry this is so late! I've been totally addicted to my new Photoshop and have been doing nothing but drawing. And even though it kept biting at the back of my mind, I just couldn't seem to pull myself away and snark. And then I had a scare where I thought Jynxie was sick but she seems to be doing fine now. And since I've fixed my sleep schedule for now, I said, 'Stop playing around and work on your snark!' So, I did and here we are. There's not much to this snark because this book is mad boring. Like, way more boring than I remember. But I tried to work with what I gots. Well, lets go!
Part 1!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 6!
Mal and K. Ron are riding the bus to the rich people neighborhood, and K. Ron is giving a rundown on how to handle the Delaneys. She even tells Mal to call her if they're any trouble. Although...if I were a kid and someone threatened me with K. Ron's presence, I'd behave too. When Mal gets to the Delaneys, Mrs. Delaney tells her that the kids are allowed to swim in their new pool and they can have friends over to swim as long as the neighbor is home. That seems...sketchy. First of all, I would not let my kids swim when there's only an 11 year old in charge. Second of all, just what the Hell is a neighbor expected to do in an emergency? I always figured that the houses in Watson's real live millionaire neighborhood are pretty big and far apart. By the time you get to your neighbor, that kid is drowned. Third, I would not leave my kids swimming with an 11 year old in charge! Does she really expect Mal to be able to save a drowning kid?! A drowning person panics. They'll climb on top of you if you try to save them. An 11 year old isn't that big. So, worst case scenario, you have two drowned kids. File this under bad parenting.
When Mrs. Delaney leaves and the kids get home, Mal gives them a snack of fruit and Graham crackers. Amanda informs her that they always have Oreos and Coke as a snack and omg. Vomit! Oreos and Coke?! Seriously. Imagine those two tastes together. Imagine those textures together. Did you throw up in your mouth a little? I know Ann is twisted but does she really not know you drink milk with cookies?! Or at least juice?! I am seriously so grossed out right now.
Anyways! The kids ask Mal about her family and mention their $400 dollar cat. Now, I'm passionate about cats, like real passionate, not Dawn fake passionate. And I find the whole breeding industry pretty gross. So, I would have been a bitch and say, 'Oh, that's nice. While you were buying a $400 dollar cat with respiratory problems, millions of cats and kittens were killed. You could have rescued several cats for the price you paid for one status symbol. You little monster.' And then I'd lock her in a trunk the rest of the job.
After the kids are done making Mal feel bad about herself, they ask if they can go swimming. Mal says yes and they all head outside. Mal says she didn't bring a suit of course and feels 'like a dork' because she has to sit by the poolside to watch the kids. What? Why would that make her feel like a dork? Strange. Oh, wait, no it isn't. Ann wanted her to feel worse. Silly me. Some kids come over to swim and Amanda turns some of them down in a snotty manner which Mal chastises her for. She tells Amanda not to use her pool to punish kids or make friends, but Amanda is a snob and doesn't care. *sigh* I know I've said this before, but you're in charge Mal. If a kid is being shitty, do something about it. By the second time she does it, tell her she can't swim for five minutes. I'm so tired of the BSC acting so helpless with bad kids. If you can't act responsible, don't baby-sit. I will give Mal some leeway since she is only 11 and shouldn't even be sitting in the first place.
Chapter 7!
The Delaneys needed an emergency sitting job, so Stacey went to take it. She says the weather is gorgeous and I want to know what month it is that these kids are swimming but still in school? I'm guessing it must be May, but I don't know what the weather is like in the Northeast, so I don't know how plausible that is. One thing that's weird to me is that Stacey brings her swimsuit along on the job. First off, I would not want to get naked in someone else's house. Especially at a sitting job. Maybe she wore her suit under her clothes but that's still weird. Second, there's just something weird about the sitter wearing a suit. I mean, I guess I can see it if in case of an emergency she needs to jump in and help, but she can do that with her clothes on.
When Stacey gets to the Delaneys, they want to swim of course. They invite some friends over again and I wonder if the parents of these kids know there's no adult in charge? And oh, God. Karen is over. So, sorry if I skim. I have a strict 'No Karen' rule that I stand by. If only Ann had adopted it and banished her to Neptune. There's not much to this chapter anyways. Just kids swimming and being brats. Since that's boring, I'll tell you a story. Once my cousin was out by our pool and she called me and said to come out and bring our binoculars. So, I did and floating way up in the sky was this huge upright cylinder. It was silver and rotating. We watched it for a long time but it never moved. It was just up there turning around and around. It was pretty high and really big. And that's the only UFO I've ever seen.
Chapter 8!
The first half of this chapter is boring. Pa Pike is just looking for a job. He's also slacking on watching Claire and I really don't care. I also wonder if Ann is trying to drop a hint that he's drinking because Mal says she finds him with a glass of 'something'. I hope it's straight bourbon. I know I would if I had to deal with the Pike apes. Ma and Pa get in a fight and I really don't care. This is a waste of a chapter. This book is a lot more dull than I remember. Because now that I think about it, the only thing that ever stood out to me was that disgusting mix of Coke and Oreos. And other then Ann making me want to vomit, there's not much else going on.
Chapter 9!
The boredom continues when Mal calls another meeting with the apes and I really cannot be assed to care. And that's all this chapter is! The kids are getting teased and try to come up with money making schemes. Lets see what dumb shit I have sitting in my files.
Chapter 10!
K. Ron sitting at the Papapapapadakisisisis and again, I don't care. The Papapapadakisisisis invite over Karen and David M and they play job agency because they saw it on, you guessed it, I Love Lucy. As an aside, I hate Lucy. When my great grandmother was staying with us she would only watch that and court shows and since I was keeping an eye on her, I went damn near crazy till I set up my PS2 in the adjoining room and just played Katamari Damacy the whole time. This was before smart phones or 3DS, see?
But anyways, what I'm saying is I find old shows like that incredibly boring and I did as a kid too. Basically, if something was in black and white, I avoided it like the plague. What I'm getting at is that Ann has no idea that TV shows came in color in the 80s or that most kids weren't watching Nick at Nite or some shit. How the Hell are you gonna write a childrens series when you know nothing about what children watch or enjoy? One of the only times I can remember Ann mentioning the kids having something contemporary was when she mentioned GI Joe and Rainbow Brite in the first book. I can only imagine what kind of corny, white bread family she comes from if that's what she thinks kids are into. It's like when you watch a corny, white bread old sitcom and they could only use public domain movies so you had kids watching old black and white cartoons and movies. It always drove me nuts because I knew it wasn't realistic. Yeah, I was a pain in the ass Capricorn even back in the day.
Part 1!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 6!
Mal and K. Ron are riding the bus to the rich people neighborhood, and K. Ron is giving a rundown on how to handle the Delaneys. She even tells Mal to call her if they're any trouble. Although...if I were a kid and someone threatened me with K. Ron's presence, I'd behave too. When Mal gets to the Delaneys, Mrs. Delaney tells her that the kids are allowed to swim in their new pool and they can have friends over to swim as long as the neighbor is home. That seems...sketchy. First of all, I would not let my kids swim when there's only an 11 year old in charge. Second of all, just what the Hell is a neighbor expected to do in an emergency? I always figured that the houses in Watson's real live millionaire neighborhood are pretty big and far apart. By the time you get to your neighbor, that kid is drowned. Third, I would not leave my kids swimming with an 11 year old in charge! Does she really expect Mal to be able to save a drowning kid?! A drowning person panics. They'll climb on top of you if you try to save them. An 11 year old isn't that big. So, worst case scenario, you have two drowned kids. File this under bad parenting.
When Mrs. Delaney leaves and the kids get home, Mal gives them a snack of fruit and Graham crackers. Amanda informs her that they always have Oreos and Coke as a snack and omg. Vomit! Oreos and Coke?! Seriously. Imagine those two tastes together. Imagine those textures together. Did you throw up in your mouth a little? I know Ann is twisted but does she really not know you drink milk with cookies?! Or at least juice?! I am seriously so grossed out right now.
Anyways! The kids ask Mal about her family and mention their $400 dollar cat. Now, I'm passionate about cats, like real passionate, not Dawn fake passionate. And I find the whole breeding industry pretty gross. So, I would have been a bitch and say, 'Oh, that's nice. While you were buying a $400 dollar cat with respiratory problems, millions of cats and kittens were killed. You could have rescued several cats for the price you paid for one status symbol. You little monster.' And then I'd lock her in a trunk the rest of the job.
After the kids are done making Mal feel bad about herself, they ask if they can go swimming. Mal says yes and they all head outside. Mal says she didn't bring a suit of course and feels 'like a dork' because she has to sit by the poolside to watch the kids. What? Why would that make her feel like a dork? Strange. Oh, wait, no it isn't. Ann wanted her to feel worse. Silly me. Some kids come over to swim and Amanda turns some of them down in a snotty manner which Mal chastises her for. She tells Amanda not to use her pool to punish kids or make friends, but Amanda is a snob and doesn't care. *sigh* I know I've said this before, but you're in charge Mal. If a kid is being shitty, do something about it. By the second time she does it, tell her she can't swim for five minutes. I'm so tired of the BSC acting so helpless with bad kids. If you can't act responsible, don't baby-sit. I will give Mal some leeway since she is only 11 and shouldn't even be sitting in the first place.
Chapter 7!
The Delaneys needed an emergency sitting job, so Stacey went to take it. She says the weather is gorgeous and I want to know what month it is that these kids are swimming but still in school? I'm guessing it must be May, but I don't know what the weather is like in the Northeast, so I don't know how plausible that is. One thing that's weird to me is that Stacey brings her swimsuit along on the job. First off, I would not want to get naked in someone else's house. Especially at a sitting job. Maybe she wore her suit under her clothes but that's still weird. Second, there's just something weird about the sitter wearing a suit. I mean, I guess I can see it if in case of an emergency she needs to jump in and help, but she can do that with her clothes on.
When Stacey gets to the Delaneys, they want to swim of course. They invite some friends over again and I wonder if the parents of these kids know there's no adult in charge? And oh, God. Karen is over. So, sorry if I skim. I have a strict 'No Karen' rule that I stand by. If only Ann had adopted it and banished her to Neptune. There's not much to this chapter anyways. Just kids swimming and being brats. Since that's boring, I'll tell you a story. Once my cousin was out by our pool and she called me and said to come out and bring our binoculars. So, I did and floating way up in the sky was this huge upright cylinder. It was silver and rotating. We watched it for a long time but it never moved. It was just up there turning around and around. It was pretty high and really big. And that's the only UFO I've ever seen.
Chapter 8!
The first half of this chapter is boring. Pa Pike is just looking for a job. He's also slacking on watching Claire and I really don't care. I also wonder if Ann is trying to drop a hint that he's drinking because Mal says she finds him with a glass of 'something'. I hope it's straight bourbon. I know I would if I had to deal with the Pike apes. Ma and Pa get in a fight and I really don't care. This is a waste of a chapter. This book is a lot more dull than I remember. Because now that I think about it, the only thing that ever stood out to me was that disgusting mix of Coke and Oreos. And other then Ann making me want to vomit, there's not much else going on.
Chapter 9!
The boredom continues when Mal calls another meeting with the apes and I really cannot be assed to care. And that's all this chapter is! The kids are getting teased and try to come up with money making schemes. Lets see what dumb shit I have sitting in my files.
Chapter 10!
K. Ron sitting at the Papapapapadakisisisis and again, I don't care. The Papapapadakisisisis invite over Karen and David M and they play job agency because they saw it on, you guessed it, I Love Lucy. As an aside, I hate Lucy. When my great grandmother was staying with us she would only watch that and court shows and since I was keeping an eye on her, I went damn near crazy till I set up my PS2 in the adjoining room and just played Katamari Damacy the whole time. This was before smart phones or 3DS, see?
But anyways, what I'm saying is I find old shows like that incredibly boring and I did as a kid too. Basically, if something was in black and white, I avoided it like the plague. What I'm getting at is that Ann has no idea that TV shows came in color in the 80s or that most kids weren't watching Nick at Nite or some shit. How the Hell are you gonna write a childrens series when you know nothing about what children watch or enjoy? One of the only times I can remember Ann mentioning the kids having something contemporary was when she mentioned GI Joe and Rainbow Brite in the first book. I can only imagine what kind of corny, white bread family she comes from if that's what she thinks kids are into. It's like when you watch a corny, white bread old sitcom and they could only use public domain movies so you had kids watching old black and white cartoons and movies. It always drove me nuts because I knew it wasn't realistic. Yeah, I was a pain in the ass Capricorn even back in the day.