BSC #40: CLAUDIA AND THE MIDDLE SCHOOL MYSTERY THE END!
OR THE ‘MYSTERY’ GETS SOLVED AND CLAUDIA GETS HER HAPPY ENDING! THE END!
Hello my peeps; I hope everyone’s having a great day! Thank you guys so much again for all your comments; it really does mean so much to me!
Now:
Chapter 10:
The girls spend the rest of their lunch period discussing how the fuck to pull off a breaking and a entering on a piece of private property; and why the fuck they’re even discussing this shit in a place where anyone can fucking hear them is BEYOND ME! Anyway, Claudia says that she overheard in the bathroom that the Pep Squad has a meeting after school and that’s the perfect time to do it. Uh…. NO YOU FUCKING DIDN’T! NO ONE MENTIONED A FUCKING PEP SQUAD MEETING IN THE BATHROOM, DUMBASS; I EVEN WENT BACK AND CHECKED THAT SHIT OUT AND IT DIDN’T HAPPEN! WHAT THE FUCK ELLEN MILES, DID NO ONE FUCKING PROOF READ THIS FUCKING THING? HOW THE FUCK DON’T YOU REMEMBER BULLSHIT FROM A FUCKING CHAPTER AGO?!
SO THIS IS THE TYPE OF SHIT THAT GETS PUBLISHED AND MOST OF US CAN’T FIND PUBLISHERS? FUCKING HELL!
Anyway, the girls decide to strike at three and I’m sorry; BUT WHAT FUCKING TIME DOES THEIR SCHOOL GET OUT? MY JUNIOR HIGH GOT OUT AT THREE THIRTY! HOW IS THEIR SCHOOL EMPTY BY THREE? Moving on, Claud worries that a teacher will catch them breaking into Shawna’s locker and Oh honey. The teachers are gonna so fucking HIGH by that time; they’re not gonna give a shit! TRUST ME! Then Mary Anne worries about the vice-principal Mr. Kingbridge; because he knows everything about the school. What does the fucker do; sit down in the boiler room with Mylo from Good Morning Miss Bliss and listen to everything that fucking goes on? Doesn’t matter anyway; Dawn says that he’s half-blind and Mary Anne FUCKING LAUGHS AT THIS! BITCH! YEA, SHE’S THE SENSITIVE ONE LIKE KIM KARDASHIAN’S A GOOD MOTHER AND KEVIN OWNS DOESN’T NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT!
Dawn says that it’s not a big deal anyway; because the old bat’s probably gonna think she’s at her locker and all the girls have to do is stand around and bullshit like always. Ok, I’ll give you that; but what happens if Shawna forgot something or if someone else who knows that’s her locker happens by? What the fuck are you all gonna do then, throw something shiny at her and fucking run away? Mary Anne says as much and Stacey says that she’ll stand guard where the hallways meet and warn the others if Shawna or the minions happen to come their way.
The rest of the day goes by quickly, and the next thing you know it’s time for the breaking and the entering. The girls send the junior buttmonkeys home; because they, like always must know their fucking places. Mary Anne gets sent home too; because we all know that bitch would start crying the second a sniff of danger came around. She’d probably end up ratting the others out, but somehow still make it all about her by still fucking crying about how hard it was for her to see her friends get into trouble. K-Ron gets sent home as well; probably because Shawna would be able to tell her locker’s been messed with just by the stench K-Ron leaves behind.
So, it’s down to Dawn, Stacey, and Claud to find the evidence. Too bad they have a lot of time to kill. Seriously, what time do they get out? They spend some time going from locker to locker, the water fountain, and the bathroom; which gives Claudia the novation to do the damn thing. Finally, it’s three o’clock and Dawn tells Stacey to stand guard and not to take her fucking eyes off the hallways; or it’s her ass. Dawn opens the locker and a mess of shit hits the floor, I guess Shawna can give K-Ron a run for her money in the messy slob department. No joke, there’s papers, notebooks, chewed up pens (Fucking EWW!) and ‘a picture of the most gorgeous guy Claud’s ever seen’. Let’s see, 1991; you guys think it was one of these guys:
Just sayin’.
Dawn tells Claud that she can take a cold shower later, and to look through the stuff. Claud says that Shawna’s a slob and FUCKING REALLY BITCH? YOU’RE ACTUALLY SAYING THAT SHIT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, YOU THE ONE WITH THE RAT’S NEST BEDROOM? YOU, THE ONE WHO HIDES CANDY AND CAN’T FIND IT FOR MONTHS?
Anyway, Claud looks on the shelf and finds an old ass bathing suit (FUCKING EW!!!), AND an old ass orange! FUCKING WHAT? THAT SHIT’S FUCKING NASTY, SHAWNA’S A DIRTY BITCH! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP A CRUSTY BATHING SUIT NEXT TO A MOLDY ORANGE, THAT SHIT CAN’T BE SANITARY! FUCKING HELL!
They almost get caught by the janitor, but then Claud finds a piece of folded-up paper in the vent; basically saying that Shawna copied off of Claudia. Might as well have had a fucking arrow pointing to it saying it was fucking evidence; that shit was so fucking easy! So they grab the note and haul ass; but Claud gets a guility conscience. She realizes that she can’t even share the evidence with the faculty; because then they’d want to know how she even got it in the first place, so she’s screwed. She ends up returning the note to Shawna’s locker, so this whole chapter? WAS A BIG FUCKING WASTE OF TIME!!
Ellen Miles,
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU EVEN THINKING?!
Chapter 11:
Now the Cult’s pissed that Claud wasted their time; but realize that she couldn’t have used it anyway. Not without spending time in the Big House anyway. Mary Anne’s all; ‘I’m proud of you, Claud’ and FUCK YOU, WEEPY!
LIKE YOUR OPINION REALLY FUCKING MATTERS HERE, STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT ALL ABOUT YOU!
Claud knows that she’s basically screwed now, plus she has ANOTHER fucking math test coming up. She should just ask the teacher to move her seat during the test; I’m actually surprised he doesn’t make her actually. If he thinks she cheated, why not move her to the front of the class to take the test? But then again, I have fucking LOGIC! Stacey even tells her to ask the teacher to do that; and tells Claud that she’ll help her study. AWWW…. Janine’s already doing that! But still….AWWWW!
K-Ron says that they should just get Shawna to incriminate herself like they did with Cokie and we get exposition about all the times they tricked the stupid bitch into telling them about all the stupid shit she did. Fucking time warp; because all that shit happened THE SAME YEAR THIS BOOK IS GOING ON! FUCKING HELL, STOP BRINGING OUR ATTENTION TO THE FUCKING TIME WARP ANN! THE ONLY ONE I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IS THIS ONE:
And for the record K-Ron, COKIE DIDN’T WALK INTO YOUR TRAP! THE STUPID BITCH WAS FLAPPING HER GODDAMN GUMS AT YOU AND FUCKING GAVE HERSELF AWAY! AND WHEN THE FUCKING STUPID CHAIN LETTER BULLSHIT HAPPENED, SHE TOLD YOU TO MEET HER AT THE CEMETERY AND YOU GUYS JUST BEAT HER BY SCARING HER ASS FIRST! FUCKING HELL ANN, ELLEN, WHOEVER; PUT DOWN THE PIPE AND WALK THE FUCK AWAY! YOU’VE DONE ROTTED YOUR BRAIN!!
So, Claud decides to try to get Shawna to incriminate herself during class so that Asshole Zorzi can hear. Poor Claud spends half the fucking class asking Shawna to borrow a COPY of her worksheet, because she’d hate to CHEAT and ask for another one or STEAL one; ‘that’s no LIE’.
THAT’S SERIOUSLY THE BEST IDEA SHE CAN COME UP WITH? SHAWNA’S NOT GONNA GET THAT SHIT; THIS IS THE SAME BITCH WHO THOUGHT SHE HAD TO REALLY TAKE A FUCKING EGG TO THE DOCTOR!
Claud almost gets in trouble for talking; and starts paying attention in class. She decides to prove that Shawna can see her test by…. Writing a note and trying to get Shawna’s attention to read it. Wait, WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT PROVE? EVEN IF YOU WRITE A NOTE THAT SAYS ‘IF YOU READ THIS, YOU’RE A CHEATER AND YOU MIGHT AS WELL ADMIT IT’ AND SHE ENDS UP READING IT; IT PROVES NOTHING! ALL YOU’VE DONE IS WASTE CLASS TIME AND PISSED OFF MR. Z AGAIN!!
But instead of getting Shawna’s attention by coughing or some shit; she ends up being so loud it pisses off the teacher! FAIL! Then when she finally decides to try and pay attention; she looks over at Shawna’s notes to see what she missed and ends up getting so fucking involved in a note she’s writing, Claud doesn’t notice the teacher watching her again and she ends up getting caught! AGAIN! YOU KNOW THIS AIN’T HELPING YOUR CASE RIGHT? IF ANYTHING, THIS IS MAKING YOU LOOK MORE LIKE THE ONE WHO FUCKING CHEATED!! DUMBASS!
Chapter 12:
Mal gets the trips to reenact the window breaking and it turns out all three of these stupid bastards caused it; one hit the ball and another didn’t catch it in time. SO ALL THAT BULLSHIT WAS FOR NOTHING, THEY COULDN’T JUST SAY THEY ALL FUCKED UP? NO, WE HAD TO GO THROUGH WEEKS OF THIS SHIT? WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER, I DON’T CARE! THE LITTLE SHITS ARE UNGROUNDED!
After hearing about all that; Claud gets a GREAT IDEA! She tells Janine that she and Shawna should reenact the test! This way, Mr. Z will see who really fucking cheated!
FUCKING REALLY? SHE DOESN’T FUCKING REALIZE THAT SHAWNA’S JUST GONNA FUCKING LIE AGAIN? YOU GUYS JUST KNOW JANINE’S LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW:
Janine gently tells her why that isn’t such a bright idea and tells Claud to relax; because Shawna’s ass isn’t getting away with this shit. Claud is so tired of all the bullshit at this point; she just doesn’t care anymore. Can’t say I blame her really.
Since that was so short; I leave you guys this:
Chapter 13:
So now Claudia’s in full FUCK-IT MODE; and she decides to dress for her state of mind.
Claud dresses a ‘The Sea’ theme, with: ‘blue skirt with brightly colored tropical fish printed all over it, a green blouse, a side ponytail with a sand-dollar barrette, and plastic jellie shoes with stickers of seahorses and shells on them’. HOLY HELL THAT OUTFIT!! SO BASICALLY SOMETHING KINDA LIKE THIS:
Strangely, that’s not the weirdest outfit she’s ever worn. Ma and Pa don’t think so though and she gets some pretty strange looks at the breakfast table. Fuck them anyway, they betrayed their own daughter; I couldn’t give a flying fuck what they think at this point, I really don’t care!
She has a decent day at school; even though K-Ron tries to tell a story about Shawna and FUCKING REALLY, NIMROD? YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO MENTION THAT BITCH’S NAME AROUND CLAUDIA, DUMBASS! GO SIT IN THE FUCKING CORNER WITH WEEPY!
After school, Claud runs into Janine who came to the school to finally set the record straight; that Claudia didn’t fucking cheat. AWWW…. Janine’s fucking awesome, coming all that way to help her sister…WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!
MA AND PA DIDN’T EVEN SHOW UP WITH HER, JANINE WENT ALL BY HERSELF?! FUCKING HELL, THEY SUCK! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT SINCE CLAUDIA TOLD THEM NOT TO GO TALK TO THE PRINCIPAL; THEY DECIDED NOT TO FUCKING DO IT ANYWAY? SHE’S YOUR CHILD, YOU HELP HER OUT EVEN IF SHE DOESN’T WANT IT; THAT’S WHAT BEING A FUCKING PARENT MEANS! SO BASICALLY, JANINE THE TEENAGER; IS A BETTER PARENT THAN MOST OF THE ONES IN STONEYBROOK!
Janine goes to tell the principal that Claud didn’t do shit and she doesn’t deserve a fucking F and that Mr. Z can go fuck himself; whilst leaving out all the illegal activity. After only a few minutes, Claudia gets to come in and tell her side of the story and now’s the time she starts to regret dressing like a reject from ‘Finding Nemo’. After all is said and done; THE PRINCIPAL DECIDES TO LET HER TAKE THE FUCKING TEST OVER! YOU KNOW, WHAT THIS ASSHOLE SHOULD’VE FUCKING DONE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE! AND MR. Z ACTS ALL HAPPY ABOUT THIS; AND REALLY? HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF TOO; THIS SHIT IS ALL HIS FUCKING FAULT! IF ONLY HE LISTENED TO CLAUDIA IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE, NONE OF THIS SHIT WOULD’VE HAPPENED AND THE BOOK WOULD’VE BEEN FUCKING SHORTER!
I HOPE SOMEONE FUCKING SUPERMAN PUNCHES YOU MR. Z;
OR RKO’S YOU;
OR FUCKING CURB STOMPS YOU:
FUCKING ASSHOLE!
And Claudia really needs to buy Janine a fucking gift basket or something!
Chapter 14:
Claudia thanks Janine for all her help and STILL HAS TO BE A BITCH BY SAYING THAT THEY DIDN’T STUDY TOGETHER LONG, BECAUSE JANINE WAS MISSING ‘VALUABLE TIME ON HER COMPUTER’. FUCKING REALLY? YOUR SISTER’S THE ONLY ONE IN YOUR FUCKING CORNER AT THIS POINT, THIS IS THE FUCKING THANKS YOU GIVE? FUCKING BITCH!
After that bullshit; Claud calls Stacey to tell her the whole thing and stupid bitch actually ends the call the same way she did before; ‘ By the time we have our next meeting, this will all be over’. Now you fucking jinxed her Stacey, I hope you’re fucking happy.
The next day rolls around, and Mr. Z tells her that they’ve decided to let her re-take the test.
JUST THINK ASSHOLE, IF YOU LET HER DO THIS BEFORE; THIS WHOLE BULLSHIT COULD’VE BEEN FUCKING AVOIDED! FUCK YOU FOR DRAGGING THIS BOOK OUT LONGER! DICK!
So, Claud re-takes the test and and Mr. Z is able to grade it then and there. And GUESS WHAT? SHE ENDS UP DOING BETTER ON THE RE-TAKE THAN THE ACTUAL TEST ITSELF!!
He apologizes and then calls Shawna up to the front and tells her that Claudia aced the test and she obviously didn’t fucking cheat; so now it’s time for her to prove that she didn’t. Although, he tells her that she can take it in the morning, which is some fucking BULLSHIT because Claudia didn’t get to do that. Doesn’t matter anyway, Shawna COMPLETELY FUCKING FLIPS HER SHIT AND TELLS THEM THAT SHE CAN’T TAKE THE TEST BECAUSE SHE’S SO STUPID; EVEN WITH STUDYING THERE’S NO WAY IN HELL SHE’LL PASS AND IT WAS REALLY HER WHO CHEATED OFF CLAUDIA’S PAPER!!
WOW, SHE REALLY WOULDN’T HOLD UP UNDER TORTURE, WOULD SHE? THE TRUTH CAME OUT OF HER QUICKER THAN STACEY’S LEGS GO UP ONCE A GUY CALLS HER PRETTY!
Anyway, Shawna tells her whole sad story and I really don’t give a shit. He makes her apologize for selling Claud up the fucking river and she ends up suspended for two days and gets a F on the test.
BITCH DESERVES IT!
Chapter 15:
Time for a meeting. The girls surprise her with chips, soda and chocolate chip cookies. HELL YEA, IT’S A MOTHERFUCKING PARTY NOW!!
They all tell her that they’re proud of her and Janine comes in and Claud gives her this collage she was working on, to say Thank You and that’s a sweet moment.
Mal says that the Pike Parents are taking the trips out for ice cream and a movie for finally telling the truth and they’re working off their punishment. Whatever, still don’t care.
Then we learn that Mr. Z’s still a fucking asshole, because instead of giving Claudia the better grade she got on the re-test; she still has the fucking A-; which is some fucking BULLSHIT!! FUCK HIM, WITH A TWIRLING LAWN MOWER!! SERIOUSLY, SOMEONE SEND SOME WWE SUPERSTARS TO GO FUCK HIM UP! PLEASE!!
That night, Claud’s parents are all like; ‘Your record’s always clear with us’ and I roll my eyes so goddamn hard; I swear, I relived being born for a second. BULLSHIT, YOU ASSHOLES PROBABLY STILL FUCKING THINK SHE CHEATED! YOU GUYS CAN FUCK YOURSELVES TOO! Anyway, they get her a celebratory cake and Claud’s really happy! Good for her!
This book freakin SUCKS! Everyone treats Claud so damn HORRIBLE; except for Janine. Janine is always AWESOME!! Well, that’s the end kids! Hope you all enjoyed it! Once again, thank you everyone for reading and commenting. Next week is Jessi and the Dance School Phantom; plus if I feel a rush of energy the next few days; some new stuff might be up on my personal LiveJournal page, so check back! See you soon!
P.S. I know there's a lot of wrestling gifs; I just really like the WWE and I hope no one minds them!
Hello my peeps; I hope everyone’s having a great day! Thank you guys so much again for all your comments; it really does mean so much to me!
Now:
Chapter 10:
The girls spend the rest of their lunch period discussing how the fuck to pull off a breaking and a entering on a piece of private property; and why the fuck they’re even discussing this shit in a place where anyone can fucking hear them is BEYOND ME! Anyway, Claudia says that she overheard in the bathroom that the Pep Squad has a meeting after school and that’s the perfect time to do it. Uh…. NO YOU FUCKING DIDN’T! NO ONE MENTIONED A FUCKING PEP SQUAD MEETING IN THE BATHROOM, DUMBASS; I EVEN WENT BACK AND CHECKED THAT SHIT OUT AND IT DIDN’T HAPPEN! WHAT THE FUCK ELLEN MILES, DID NO ONE FUCKING PROOF READ THIS FUCKING THING? HOW THE FUCK DON’T YOU REMEMBER BULLSHIT FROM A FUCKING CHAPTER AGO?!
SO THIS IS THE TYPE OF SHIT THAT GETS PUBLISHED AND MOST OF US CAN’T FIND PUBLISHERS? FUCKING HELL!
Anyway, the girls decide to strike at three and I’m sorry; BUT WHAT FUCKING TIME DOES THEIR SCHOOL GET OUT? MY JUNIOR HIGH GOT OUT AT THREE THIRTY! HOW IS THEIR SCHOOL EMPTY BY THREE? Moving on, Claud worries that a teacher will catch them breaking into Shawna’s locker and Oh honey. The teachers are gonna so fucking HIGH by that time; they’re not gonna give a shit! TRUST ME! Then Mary Anne worries about the vice-principal Mr. Kingbridge; because he knows everything about the school. What does the fucker do; sit down in the boiler room with Mylo from Good Morning Miss Bliss and listen to everything that fucking goes on? Doesn’t matter anyway; Dawn says that he’s half-blind and Mary Anne FUCKING LAUGHS AT THIS! BITCH! YEA, SHE’S THE SENSITIVE ONE LIKE KIM KARDASHIAN’S A GOOD MOTHER AND KEVIN OWNS DOESN’T NEED ANGER MANAGEMENT!
Dawn says that it’s not a big deal anyway; because the old bat’s probably gonna think she’s at her locker and all the girls have to do is stand around and bullshit like always. Ok, I’ll give you that; but what happens if Shawna forgot something or if someone else who knows that’s her locker happens by? What the fuck are you all gonna do then, throw something shiny at her and fucking run away? Mary Anne says as much and Stacey says that she’ll stand guard where the hallways meet and warn the others if Shawna or the minions happen to come their way.
The rest of the day goes by quickly, and the next thing you know it’s time for the breaking and the entering. The girls send the junior buttmonkeys home; because they, like always must know their fucking places. Mary Anne gets sent home too; because we all know that bitch would start crying the second a sniff of danger came around. She’d probably end up ratting the others out, but somehow still make it all about her by still fucking crying about how hard it was for her to see her friends get into trouble. K-Ron gets sent home as well; probably because Shawna would be able to tell her locker’s been messed with just by the stench K-Ron leaves behind.
So, it’s down to Dawn, Stacey, and Claud to find the evidence. Too bad they have a lot of time to kill. Seriously, what time do they get out? They spend some time going from locker to locker, the water fountain, and the bathroom; which gives Claudia the novation to do the damn thing. Finally, it’s three o’clock and Dawn tells Stacey to stand guard and not to take her fucking eyes off the hallways; or it’s her ass. Dawn opens the locker and a mess of shit hits the floor, I guess Shawna can give K-Ron a run for her money in the messy slob department. No joke, there’s papers, notebooks, chewed up pens (Fucking EWW!) and ‘a picture of the most gorgeous guy Claud’s ever seen’. Let’s see, 1991; you guys think it was one of these guys:
Just sayin’.
Dawn tells Claud that she can take a cold shower later, and to look through the stuff. Claud says that Shawna’s a slob and FUCKING REALLY BITCH? YOU’RE ACTUALLY SAYING THAT SHIT WITH A STRAIGHT FACE, YOU THE ONE WITH THE RAT’S NEST BEDROOM? YOU, THE ONE WHO HIDES CANDY AND CAN’T FIND IT FOR MONTHS?
Anyway, Claud looks on the shelf and finds an old ass bathing suit (FUCKING EW!!!), AND an old ass orange! FUCKING WHAT? THAT SHIT’S FUCKING NASTY, SHAWNA’S A DIRTY BITCH! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU KEEP A CRUSTY BATHING SUIT NEXT TO A MOLDY ORANGE, THAT SHIT CAN’T BE SANITARY! FUCKING HELL!
They almost get caught by the janitor, but then Claud finds a piece of folded-up paper in the vent; basically saying that Shawna copied off of Claudia. Might as well have had a fucking arrow pointing to it saying it was fucking evidence; that shit was so fucking easy! So they grab the note and haul ass; but Claud gets a guility conscience. She realizes that she can’t even share the evidence with the faculty; because then they’d want to know how she even got it in the first place, so she’s screwed. She ends up returning the note to Shawna’s locker, so this whole chapter? WAS A BIG FUCKING WASTE OF TIME!!
Ellen Miles,
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU EVEN THINKING?!
Chapter 11:
Now the Cult’s pissed that Claud wasted their time; but realize that she couldn’t have used it anyway. Not without spending time in the Big House anyway. Mary Anne’s all; ‘I’m proud of you, Claud’ and FUCK YOU, WEEPY!
LIKE YOUR OPINION REALLY FUCKING MATTERS HERE, STOP TRYING TO MAKE IT ALL ABOUT YOU!
Claud knows that she’s basically screwed now, plus she has ANOTHER fucking math test coming up. She should just ask the teacher to move her seat during the test; I’m actually surprised he doesn’t make her actually. If he thinks she cheated, why not move her to the front of the class to take the test? But then again, I have fucking LOGIC! Stacey even tells her to ask the teacher to do that; and tells Claud that she’ll help her study. AWWW…. Janine’s already doing that! But still….AWWWW!
K-Ron says that they should just get Shawna to incriminate herself like they did with Cokie and we get exposition about all the times they tricked the stupid bitch into telling them about all the stupid shit she did. Fucking time warp; because all that shit happened THE SAME YEAR THIS BOOK IS GOING ON! FUCKING HELL, STOP BRINGING OUR ATTENTION TO THE FUCKING TIME WARP ANN! THE ONLY ONE I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT IS THIS ONE:
Click to viewAnd for the record K-Ron, COKIE DIDN’T WALK INTO YOUR TRAP! THE STUPID BITCH WAS FLAPPING HER GODDAMN GUMS AT YOU AND FUCKING GAVE HERSELF AWAY! AND WHEN THE FUCKING STUPID CHAIN LETTER BULLSHIT HAPPENED, SHE TOLD YOU TO MEET HER AT THE CEMETERY AND YOU GUYS JUST BEAT HER BY SCARING HER ASS FIRST! FUCKING HELL ANN, ELLEN, WHOEVER; PUT DOWN THE PIPE AND WALK THE FUCK AWAY! YOU’VE DONE ROTTED YOUR BRAIN!!
So, Claud decides to try to get Shawna to incriminate herself during class so that Asshole Zorzi can hear. Poor Claud spends half the fucking class asking Shawna to borrow a COPY of her worksheet, because she’d hate to CHEAT and ask for another one or STEAL one; ‘that’s no LIE’.
THAT’S SERIOUSLY THE BEST IDEA SHE CAN COME UP WITH? SHAWNA’S NOT GONNA GET THAT SHIT; THIS IS THE SAME BITCH WHO THOUGHT SHE HAD TO REALLY TAKE A FUCKING EGG TO THE DOCTOR!
Claud almost gets in trouble for talking; and starts paying attention in class. She decides to prove that Shawna can see her test by…. Writing a note and trying to get Shawna’s attention to read it. Wait, WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT PROVE? EVEN IF YOU WRITE A NOTE THAT SAYS ‘IF YOU READ THIS, YOU’RE A CHEATER AND YOU MIGHT AS WELL ADMIT IT’ AND SHE ENDS UP READING IT; IT PROVES NOTHING! ALL YOU’VE DONE IS WASTE CLASS TIME AND PISSED OFF MR. Z AGAIN!!
But instead of getting Shawna’s attention by coughing or some shit; she ends up being so loud it pisses off the teacher! FAIL! Then when she finally decides to try and pay attention; she looks over at Shawna’s notes to see what she missed and ends up getting so fucking involved in a note she’s writing, Claud doesn’t notice the teacher watching her again and she ends up getting caught! AGAIN! YOU KNOW THIS AIN’T HELPING YOUR CASE RIGHT? IF ANYTHING, THIS IS MAKING YOU LOOK MORE LIKE THE ONE WHO FUCKING CHEATED!! DUMBASS!
Chapter 12:
Mal gets the trips to reenact the window breaking and it turns out all three of these stupid bastards caused it; one hit the ball and another didn’t catch it in time. SO ALL THAT BULLSHIT WAS FOR NOTHING, THEY COULDN’T JUST SAY THEY ALL FUCKED UP? NO, WE HAD TO GO THROUGH WEEKS OF THIS SHIT? WHAT-THE-FUCK-EVER, I DON’T CARE! THE LITTLE SHITS ARE UNGROUNDED!
After hearing about all that; Claud gets a GREAT IDEA! She tells Janine that she and Shawna should reenact the test! This way, Mr. Z will see who really fucking cheated!
FUCKING REALLY? SHE DOESN’T FUCKING REALIZE THAT SHAWNA’S JUST GONNA FUCKING LIE AGAIN? YOU GUYS JUST KNOW JANINE’S LIKE THIS RIGHT NOW:
Janine gently tells her why that isn’t such a bright idea and tells Claud to relax; because Shawna’s ass isn’t getting away with this shit. Claud is so tired of all the bullshit at this point; she just doesn’t care anymore. Can’t say I blame her really.
Since that was so short; I leave you guys this:
Chapter 13:
So now Claudia’s in full FUCK-IT MODE; and she decides to dress for her state of mind.
Claud dresses a ‘The Sea’ theme, with: ‘blue skirt with brightly colored tropical fish printed all over it, a green blouse, a side ponytail with a sand-dollar barrette, and plastic jellie shoes with stickers of seahorses and shells on them’. HOLY HELL THAT OUTFIT!! SO BASICALLY SOMETHING KINDA LIKE THIS:
Strangely, that’s not the weirdest outfit she’s ever worn. Ma and Pa don’t think so though and she gets some pretty strange looks at the breakfast table. Fuck them anyway, they betrayed their own daughter; I couldn’t give a flying fuck what they think at this point, I really don’t care!
She has a decent day at school; even though K-Ron tries to tell a story about Shawna and FUCKING REALLY, NIMROD? YOU KNOW BETTER THAN TO MENTION THAT BITCH’S NAME AROUND CLAUDIA, DUMBASS! GO SIT IN THE FUCKING CORNER WITH WEEPY!
After school, Claud runs into Janine who came to the school to finally set the record straight; that Claudia didn’t fucking cheat. AWWW…. Janine’s fucking awesome, coming all that way to help her sister…WAIT A FUCKING MINUTE!
MA AND PA DIDN’T EVEN SHOW UP WITH HER, JANINE WENT ALL BY HERSELF?! FUCKING HELL, THEY SUCK! YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT SINCE CLAUDIA TOLD THEM NOT TO GO TALK TO THE PRINCIPAL; THEY DECIDED NOT TO FUCKING DO IT ANYWAY? SHE’S YOUR CHILD, YOU HELP HER OUT EVEN IF SHE DOESN’T WANT IT; THAT’S WHAT BEING A FUCKING PARENT MEANS! SO BASICALLY, JANINE THE TEENAGER; IS A BETTER PARENT THAN MOST OF THE ONES IN STONEYBROOK!
Janine goes to tell the principal that Claud didn’t do shit and she doesn’t deserve a fucking F and that Mr. Z can go fuck himself; whilst leaving out all the illegal activity. After only a few minutes, Claudia gets to come in and tell her side of the story and now’s the time she starts to regret dressing like a reject from ‘Finding Nemo’. After all is said and done; THE PRINCIPAL DECIDES TO LET HER TAKE THE FUCKING TEST OVER! YOU KNOW, WHAT THIS ASSHOLE SHOULD’VE FUCKING DONE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE! AND MR. Z ACTS ALL HAPPY ABOUT THIS; AND REALLY? HE CAN GO FUCK HIMSELF TOO; THIS SHIT IS ALL HIS FUCKING FAULT! IF ONLY HE LISTENED TO CLAUDIA IN THE FUCKING FIRST PLACE, NONE OF THIS SHIT WOULD’VE HAPPENED AND THE BOOK WOULD’VE BEEN FUCKING SHORTER!
I HOPE SOMEONE FUCKING SUPERMAN PUNCHES YOU MR. Z;
OR RKO’S YOU;
OR FUCKING CURB STOMPS YOU:
FUCKING ASSHOLE!
And Claudia really needs to buy Janine a fucking gift basket or something!
Chapter 14:
Claudia thanks Janine for all her help and STILL HAS TO BE A BITCH BY SAYING THAT THEY DIDN’T STUDY TOGETHER LONG, BECAUSE JANINE WAS MISSING ‘VALUABLE TIME ON HER COMPUTER’. FUCKING REALLY? YOUR SISTER’S THE ONLY ONE IN YOUR FUCKING CORNER AT THIS POINT, THIS IS THE FUCKING THANKS YOU GIVE? FUCKING BITCH!
After that bullshit; Claud calls Stacey to tell her the whole thing and stupid bitch actually ends the call the same way she did before; ‘ By the time we have our next meeting, this will all be over’. Now you fucking jinxed her Stacey, I hope you’re fucking happy.
The next day rolls around, and Mr. Z tells her that they’ve decided to let her re-take the test.
JUST THINK ASSHOLE, IF YOU LET HER DO THIS BEFORE; THIS WHOLE BULLSHIT COULD’VE BEEN FUCKING AVOIDED! FUCK YOU FOR DRAGGING THIS BOOK OUT LONGER! DICK!
So, Claud re-takes the test and and Mr. Z is able to grade it then and there. And GUESS WHAT? SHE ENDS UP DOING BETTER ON THE RE-TAKE THAN THE ACTUAL TEST ITSELF!!
He apologizes and then calls Shawna up to the front and tells her that Claudia aced the test and she obviously didn’t fucking cheat; so now it’s time for her to prove that she didn’t. Although, he tells her that she can take it in the morning, which is some fucking BULLSHIT because Claudia didn’t get to do that. Doesn’t matter anyway, Shawna COMPLETELY FUCKING FLIPS HER SHIT AND TELLS THEM THAT SHE CAN’T TAKE THE TEST BECAUSE SHE’S SO STUPID; EVEN WITH STUDYING THERE’S NO WAY IN HELL SHE’LL PASS AND IT WAS REALLY HER WHO CHEATED OFF CLAUDIA’S PAPER!!
WOW, SHE REALLY WOULDN’T HOLD UP UNDER TORTURE, WOULD SHE? THE TRUTH CAME OUT OF HER QUICKER THAN STACEY’S LEGS GO UP ONCE A GUY CALLS HER PRETTY!
Anyway, Shawna tells her whole sad story and I really don’t give a shit. He makes her apologize for selling Claud up the fucking river and she ends up suspended for two days and gets a F on the test.
BITCH DESERVES IT!
Chapter 15:
Time for a meeting. The girls surprise her with chips, soda and chocolate chip cookies. HELL YEA, IT’S A MOTHERFUCKING PARTY NOW!!
They all tell her that they’re proud of her and Janine comes in and Claud gives her this collage she was working on, to say Thank You and that’s a sweet moment.
Mal says that the Pike Parents are taking the trips out for ice cream and a movie for finally telling the truth and they’re working off their punishment. Whatever, still don’t care.
Then we learn that Mr. Z’s still a fucking asshole, because instead of giving Claudia the better grade she got on the re-test; she still has the fucking A-; which is some fucking BULLSHIT!! FUCK HIM, WITH A TWIRLING LAWN MOWER!! SERIOUSLY, SOMEONE SEND SOME WWE SUPERSTARS TO GO FUCK HIM UP! PLEASE!!
That night, Claud’s parents are all like; ‘Your record’s always clear with us’ and I roll my eyes so goddamn hard; I swear, I relived being born for a second. BULLSHIT, YOU ASSHOLES PROBABLY STILL FUCKING THINK SHE CHEATED! YOU GUYS CAN FUCK YOURSELVES TOO! Anyway, they get her a celebratory cake and Claud’s really happy! Good for her!
This book freakin SUCKS! Everyone treats Claud so damn HORRIBLE; except for Janine. Janine is always AWESOME!! Well, that’s the end kids! Hope you all enjoyed it! Once again, thank you everyone for reading and commenting. Next week is Jessi and the Dance School Phantom; plus if I feel a rush of energy the next few days; some new stuff might be up on my personal LiveJournal page, so check back! See you soon!
P.S. I know there's a lot of wrestling gifs; I just really like the WWE and I hope no one minds them!