Babysitters Winter Vacation Chapters 12-17
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Chapter 12
Kristy is bitching because Dawn is a klutz and therefore Kristy’s team lost. Clearly Dawn just decided to be a klutz just to spite you. Granted, I have no doubt that if Dawn didn’t want to participate in the Winter War, she would have bitched nonstop about it and I wouldn’t put it past her to try and fuck up. But Dawn honestly tried her best. Anyone could have been klutzy. Anyone could have slipped in the snow or dropped the baton. I think this is why I wouldn’t participate in activities like this. I’m not very athletic and having people like Kristy screaming at me would make me even more nervous. I wouldn’t feel like dealing with Kristy screaming at me and acting like I slipped on purpose. I’d be too chicken shit to tell Kristy that I tried my hardest and my fucking up was a legitimate accident. I think I’d have just flipped her off behind her back. I also would have nailed her with a snowball, but I have a shit arm.
Kristy also says that she’ll quit asking Mary Anne to participate. You’ve known Mary Anne your whole life. Hasn’t it been established that she’s not athletic? Did you think she would just magically get some athletic skills? Kristy bitches again that she doesn’t want to have any klutzes on her team and says she likes winning. So do I. But I’m not going to talk shit about my friends just because they slipped and fell. I’m pretty sure Kristy is the type to take things way too seriously. I wouldn’t even play Candyland or Go Fish with her because I wouldn’t put it past her to throw a tantrum or act like the fate of the world is at stake. Now I just have the image of her playing a game with younger kids and throwing a tantrum when she loses.
Kristy ropes the Conway Cove kids into having a snowman building contest, and I would have laughed so hard if they said, “Nah, we’re cool.” Then again, Kristy would have whined that the kids were being ungrateful brats. Everyone else is either mad at Kristy or busy, so Kristy drags Claudia along to judge the contest. I’d have been pissed that I had to be dragged away from whatever I was doing to participate in Kristy’s dumbass idea. The second her back was turned, I’d have left so fast. Kristy hasn’t thought of a prize. I feel like Kristy would just have a really vague idea but have no idea how to execute it, so the BSC would have to do the work. Then Kristy would take credit. The kids have their contest and Claudia snaps a picture with the kids and their snow creations. Kristy says that Claudia comes up with good ideas. She comes up with better ideas than you. I’m shocked Kristy didn’t say something like, “Claudia comes up with good ideas, but not as good as my ideas.” We all know these girls hate to see anyone else be successful.
It’s time for the snow sculpture contest of the Winter War. Kristy is happy because she can’t tell what Mallory and Jessi are making and she hopes Claudia won’t be able to tell what it is either, because they’re on opposing teams. There’s friendly rivalry, and then there’s talking shit about your friends and wishing them ill. It’s a middle school competition. What prizes are they supposed to have? My guess is that they’d have certificates or pizza or something like that. It’s not like they’d get another vacation or something really cool. Would they? When we had to take the FCAT, the prizes were a pen and a pizza party. We could also get some parking permit and an Ipod. I got a five on the writing FCAT, so I got a pen. It was very cheap. The prizes were basically useless to me.
Kristy gets mad because Claudia chooses a Red Team Sculpture. She clearly did it just so that the Red Team would win. It can’t be because a Red Team sculpture was legitimately the best one. Nope, if these girls don’t win something, it’s never their fault. It’s because the teacher or judge is an idiot. It was mentioned that Claudia could have been a blind judge, so she could have stayed inside and not known who built what. This reminded me of Cutthroat Kitchen where the judges are in another room, so they don’t know what sabotages the contestants faced. So the judges don’t know that the contestants had to chop their stuff using a shovel. All they know is that it looks like a dog chewed on it. I bet that if Claudia had no idea who built what, Kristy would still have whined that Claudia didn’t choose her sculpture because Claudia was supposed to magically know that her friend built this sculpture.
Kristy whining that Claudia chose a Red Team sculpture reminded me of what one of my friends told me and our other friend when we had to give her feedback for a speech. She wasn’t the best at public speaking, but she told us don’t sugarcoat it just because we were her friends. She didn’t want a good review just because she was our friend. I feel like the BSC would expect free rides if one of their friends was judging something.
Kristy gets pumped up about the skiing contest and tells her team to get into top shape. I’m surprised Kristy isn’t forcing her team off to practice skiing and ignoring their protests. Kristy joins Claudia and asks if she’s going skiing now. Claudia says she’s kind of tired and Kristy snaps that Claudia must think she’s so good she doesn’t need to practice. She just said she was tired, you twit. Claudia says that she may be good, but she isn’t stuck up. I know these girls say that they aren’t stuck up all the time, but seeing as how they throw tantrums when people don’t kiss their asses, I’d call them stuck up.
Kristy takes this to mean that Claudia is calling her stuck up. I’d have laughed so hard if Claudia called Kristy stuck up, bossy, a dictator, a control freak, and a sore loser, but Claudia probably has better things to do than deal with Kristy throwing a tantrum like a toddler. Claudia and Kristy go skiing. Claudia is better than Kristy. Kristy can’t resist taunting Claudia as they ski past each other. I enjoy friendly competition and trash talk sometimes, but if Kristy is talking shit to her friends and acting like they fucked up on purpose, she needs to take a step back.
Chapter 13
Claudia writes that she’s like to know what bullshit version of the contest Kristy wrote. She figures it’s something different than what actually happened. Claudia said that she legitimately thought the Chesire cat sculpture she chose was the best. Do I need to push the independent thought alarm button, Claudia? You know how Kristy feels about having an opinion that isn’t BSC approved. Claudia decides to take some skiing lessons because she might be good, but there’s nothing wrong with brushing up on her techniques. I think this is a better attitude to have than, “I’m perfect and I never need to practice and anyone who criticizes me doesn’t know what they’re talking about, even if they have 30 years experience on me.”
The ski instructor is a really hot French instructor named Guy. I saw a hot shirtless French guy my first year in college. He came into the lounge when my friends and I were watching TV to make some rice. I was really glad I have dark skin because I’d be blushing like mad if I were lighter skinned. Claudia wishes Guy were a bit younger. Then she figures, “Maybe this doesn’t matter. People fall in love with older guys all the time. Yes, and if the girl is thirteen, she and the guy can’t date because Chris Hansen will tell your boyfriend to take a seat over there. I’ve never actually seen To Catch A Predator. I think there are times when you don’t even have to see something, but you can recognize the reference.
I think some of us have had crushes on older and unattainable people. I personally just think they’re really hot, enjoy the eye candy, and that’s it. I don’t fantasize about a relationship because I know it’s not going to happen. When I was Claudia’s age, I had a crush on my mom’s ex boyfriend. He was old enough to change my diapers, I’m sure. He also had children older than me. I couldn’t fantasize about him because I kept going, “He’s old enough to be my father, he’s married, he has kids older than me, he dated my mom!” He was really good looking and cool, but I couldn’t get past the whole old enough to be my father deal.
Guy asks Claudia to let him see what she can do. I have the immaturity of a twelve year old and I’m probably going to go to hell, but Bow wow chicka chicka bow wow! Claudia tries to concentrate on everything she’s been taught. When she reaches the bottom and sees Guy’s expression, her pleasure turns to joy. I guess Claudia did okay for her first time. I have the sudden urge to start pelvic thrusting. I wonder if whoever wrote this was giggling like a twelve year old. I know I’m totally snickering.
Guy puts his hand on Claudia’s arm to give her a few pointers. Stacey would have already came by now. I’m trying to imagine what it would have been like if Wes was this touchy-feely with Stacey. I’ve heard that the French are more physical (in a non-dirty way) but I don’t know how true it is. Personally, I rarely initiate physical contact. I don’t think I initiate physical contact with my family very often. I guess that it might not be out of the ordinary for Guy to touch Claudia’s arm in his country, but knowing about her crush on him I’m just like, “Okay, then,” while I raise my eyebrow. I know it’s probably perfectly innocent, but after reading Stacey’s Big Crush…I guess I just have my radar up
Kristy sticks her tongue out at Claudia and Claudia internally rolls her eyes at Kristy acting like a five year old who lost a game of Candyland. Claudia can’t concentrate because Guy is touching her. She’d like to stick her tongue out at Kristy, but she’s too mature to do that when a handsome older man has his arms around her. I got nothing. I really don’t. Claudia goes down the trail again and Kristy skis next to her so that she can talk shit. I would have been praying for Kristy to crash in the snow. Not hard enough to get hurt, just embarrass her. Guy takes Claudia’s hands in his and says he wants complete concentration. Claudia is looking deep into his eyes and imagining kissing his lips. This seriously reads like a love confession. Guy also puts his arm around Claudia’s shoulders and calls her his star pupil. I know that some cultures are more physical affectionate than others and this wouldn’t cause someone to raise an eyebrow in some places, but I’m just like Uuuuhhh… I don’t know if it’s because of Claudia’s crush that my mind is jumping straight to the gutter.
Claudia muses on some boyfriend of the week from a Super Special. She likes Will and they’ve exchanged letters. Claudia feels a little thrill when he writes to her, but it’s nothing compared to what she feels for Guy. So Claudia is feeling that clenching of her stomach and rush of liquid when she’s with Guy, then? I’m sorry, but it is so easy for my mind to go to the gutter right now. Claudia goes back to the lodge so she can find Stacey and squeal about Guy, which is what I would have done. Claudia says Guy has a crush on her. No, he doesn’t. Granted, I think she has more justification than Stacey to think that Guy has a crush on her because he’s initiating physical contact and calling her his star pupil. I know it doesn’t mean anything, but at thirteen I would have thought shit like, “He’s putting his arms around me. He wants to be close to me.” There are times when I feel like the girls would think that a guy looking in their direction (not at them) means they want to bang. Everyone knows about Claudia and Guy soon enough.
Chapter 14
Jessi complains about Kristy’s bossiness, but says that you have to overlook faults in your friends. There’s being bossy and then there’s being a complete dictator. Jessi acts like she owes Kristy a lot because she let her into the club when no one in Stoneybrook was accepting her. I know Jessi is constantly talking about how no one accepted her in Stoneybrook, but do we ever actually see an example of this? I don’t mean Jessi referencing an event that happened off-screen, like that racist neighbor or that girl who made fun of the African statues. I mean has there actually been an example of someone not accepting Jessi because she’s black and it was made explicitly clear that was why she was rejected? There were some girls talking shit in Hello Mallory, but that was through Mallory’s point of view. Has there ever been a scene like that with Jessi’s point of view?
Jessi worries that no one will want to be in the production. Then she says she didn’t need to worry because they’re a bunch of show offs. That’s a surprisingly accurate description. Jessi brings her Swan Lake costume because it’s her personal right ( she actually uses this phrase) to dance a solo number. God forbid Jessi not be the center of attention for one goddamn night. I’m sure that if Jessi thought she could get away with it, she’d be the only performer at the Talent Show. Jessi tells people that she’ll pick and choose which acts to allow into the Talent Show and falls all over herself because people are listening to a lowly sixth grader. Not just a lowly sixth grader, but the only black sixth grader. She’s used to being ignored because of that. I’m honestly asking-when has anyone ever treated Jessi badly for being black? The very special racism book was narrated by Claudia. I feel like people don’t bother with Jessi and the rest of the BSC because they think they’re stuck up.
Blah, blah, blah, people audition and I don’t care that much. Jessi wants to put on a skit making fun of the teachers and Pinky protests because she’s racist. Actually, she protests because she doesn’t want to get in trouble. I think this is legitimate, but I was a little goody-two shoes teacher’s pet who was terrified of getting into trouble. Of course Jessi is upset because Pinky disagreed with her. I wonder how the hell these girls survive if they throw tantrums every time someone disagrees with them. Jessi says that Pinky has to accept that she’s in charge. I don’t think Pinky was protesting because Jessi’s black. She’s protesting because she doesn’t want to get in trouble. Are you guys seriously incapable of recognizing that someone might have a different opinion than you?
I don’t understand Jessi’s logic. Pinky doesn’t want to talk to her-it’s because she’s black. It can’t be because some people don’t like making small talk. Pinky doesn’t like the idea for a skit- it’s because Jessi came up with the idea and she’s black. It can’t be because Pinky might honestly think she’ll get in trouble. Nope, the only reason to disagree with Jessi is because she’s black. I feel like trying to talk to Jessi would be a pain in the ass because every time I disagreed with her she’d scream that I was being racist. And if she did something wrong she’d scream that the people telling her off are being racist. Some of my classmates accused my teacher of racism when he scolded them after they came bursting into the classroom late.
My brother went through an everything is racist phase. He called me racist for not pouring him some iced tea. He also called a white stray dog racist hound because he didn’t come when he was called. I’m just imagining Jessi trying to teach a dog with white fur tricks and calling the dog racist when he won’t do tricks. Jessi complains to Mal that Pinky is prejudiced. I don’t think not wanting to talk to someone and disagreeing with their idea automatically means that someone is prejudiced. Some people just aren’t talkers and there is such a thing as personal taste. No wait, there’s no such thing as personal taste-only what the BSC likes and god help you if you disagree.
Mallory tries to tell Jessi that Pinky isn’t racist, but Jessi knows better. I really wish Jessi’s grandmother was here so she could tell Jessi that Pinky might be scared and lonely after being away from home and being injured and just because someone disagrees with you doesn’t mean that they’re racist.
Chapter 15
Dawn wakes up feeling crummy because she and Mary Anne are fighting. She also doesn’t want Mary Anne to put the fight in the book to Logan, which I can understand. Dawn also doesn’t like when people are mad at her. Well, you can always apologize. I know that you didn’t do anything wrong, but in this world the wronged party always apologizes first where the actual party in the wrong grudgingly admits that they may have been a teensy bit at fault. Everyone is mad at each other- Kristy is mad at Dawn, Dawn isn’t too happy with Kristy, Mary Anne and Dawn are fighting, Kristy and Claudia are fighting, Stacey is too busy dreaming of Pierre’s dick to notice anything, and Mal and Jessi are acting normal. I’m surprised Jessi and Mal aren’t fighting because Mal disagreed with Jessi. We know the BSC can’t handle anyone disagreeing with them.
Claudia notices something is up with Mary Anne and Dawn and tries to get them to make amends. Then she’s like, “Fuck it, I’m not getting involved. Just be civil in front of the kids.” At breakfast Dawn and Mary Anne do that thing where two people in a fight are sickeningly polite to each other. Kristy and Jessi make announcements about the Winter War and the Talent Show. Dawn feels like a dud because she’s not going to be in the Talent Show and she can’t bring herself to participate in the Winter War because of what happened last time. Dawn says that she isn’t a quitter and that she has thick skin to survive the divorce, move to Connecticut, Jeff’s move back to California, and Sharon dating some guy named Trip. I don’t know if there was anything wrong with Trip or if Dawn didn’t like him because he wasn’t Richard.
Dori invites Dawn to play Monopoly with her and some other kids because it’s yucky outside and they aren’t going to participate in the Winter War. Dawn loses at Monopoly and runs off to cry. She runs to the bathroom and sees Pinky crying. I really like Dawn in this scene because she immediately forgets that she’s upset and asks Pinky what’s wrong. I like this scene because someone is actually showing her some compassion. Dawn asks if Pinky is lonely. I’m sure she is-after all, she’s ostracized by her classmates and her babysitter sees her as nothing more than a chore and throws tantrums when she disagrees with her. Dawn confides in Pinky about her fears and insecurities and Pinky opens up to Dawn because she feels homesick and scared.
Dawn realizes that Pinky was trying to be tough so she wouldn’t seem like a baby. I don’t get the impression that Pinky was being bold and bratty like Dawn said. I’m also irked that Dawn says that Pinky was giving Jessi a hard time. No, she wasn’t. Pinky didn’t want to talk to Jessi or play a game and Jessi took that as a personal insult because god forbid that a kid not shit themselves to participate in a dumbass BSC project. Pinky wasn’t doing anything wrong. Jessi is the one in the wrong for throwing a tantrum because a kid didn’t want to play what she wanted.
Dawn realizes that she might actually care about what people think of her and maybe she isn’t as independent or as much as an individual as she thought. I would have liked it if the BSC kept some of this self-awareness. I would have liked it if they were like, “I usually don’t care what some people think of me, but I have moments when I do.” Dawn takes Pinky to get some hot chocolate. I still don’t remember when Pinky was acting like a jerk to her classmates.
Chapter 16
Dawn and Mary Anne made up because Dawn apologized first. Clearly she had no right to feel upset at being laughed at when her best friend wasn’t seeing her boyfriend for five days. Now that Dawn has apologized for feeling hurt that her best friend ignored what she was saying and for not pushing aside her hurt feelings to assure Mary Anne that Logan isn’t cheating on her, Mary Anne can be sympathetic to what happened to Dawn. I feel like these girls would only show sympathy to someone if the person agreed with them or kissed their asses. If they didn’t agree with the BSC then they’re a brat not deserving of any sympathy.
Mary Anne apologizes for not giving a shit about Dawn and only caring about whether or not Logan was cheating on her. Dawn and Mary Anne are bunkies again. Mary Anne is alone because Dawn decided to participate in the Winter War after all, Stacey is making babies with Pierre, Jessi is with Ms. Halliday, and everyone else is in the snowball fight. Mary Anne decides to write a letter to Logan.
My dearest, darling Logan,
How I miss you. How I pine for you. How I yearn and long for you.
My life is not the same without you. You are in my every thought during the day, and my every dream during the night.
I read that and nearly choked on my own laughter. I also started snickering at Mary Anne saying that she yearns and longs for Logan. Mary Anne realizes that this might be over the top and she doesn’t want Logan to think that she wants marriage. Mary Anne writes a letter asking him how Aruba is and that she misses him and wishes he were here. She says it sounds dumb. It sounds better than your first attempt. I think she’s trying to channel a romance author with that first attempt and doing a bad job.
Mary Anne goes over the skit that the Conway Cove kids are supposed to put on and decides to change it so that the kids can do something original. She decides to write a play about a girl breaking up with her boyfriend and I’m wondering if she’s projecting her issues with Logan onto the play. She runs to show Jessi the play and miraculously Jessi doesn’t call Mary Anne racist for changing her skit. Jessi likes the play but the kids are looking forward to making fun of their teachers. The kids also don’t have time to memorize a new play.
Mary Anne wanders off and writes another letter to Logan, this time calling him the light of her life. I say this with all the sincerity in the world-seek help. I’m not even joking. Mary Anne gets a long distance call and Little Miss Sensitive snarks on her classmate Alvin because his mom called to make sure he took his allergy pills. Mary Anne says she hates to be placed in the same league as wheezy Alvin. You writers keep calling Mary Anne sensitive. You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Then Mary Anne figures that her father might be calling to tell her some bad news. It turns out to be Logan. After she chats with her boyfriend, she can act like a functional human again.
Chapter 17
There’s a storm. Kristy’s team won the snowball fight so they might have a shot at winning the Winter War. I’m so thrilled for Kristy. Mallory’s journal project has been a bust. She figures that the cook wasn’t trying to kill them. She also got busted trying to spy on Stacey and Pierre. She’s never seen anyone kiss and she was hoping that they would. My parents aren’t that physically affectionate and the only kissing they do is closed mouth pecks as far as I’ve seen. When I was in seventh grade I saw people kissing and I stopped to watch because I was finally seeing people making out. Pierre notices Mallory peeking and Stacey is like, “Wtf, Mal?” Mallory runs off and doesn’t hear Stacey yelling that she loves an audience and Mallory doesn’t have to leave.
Mallory also decides that she needs to get some observational skills and that spying probably isn’t the best way for gathering information. She also says that she shouldn’t let her imagination run away with her. I really love this self-awareness and willingness to admit their mistakes. Mallory says Jessi is doing the same thing. She’s not looking beyond her own problems to realize that Pinky is homesick. Jessi just automatically decided that Pinky was racist. Did you just say a BSC member should look beyond their own problems and try to empathize with someone else? Second, Mallory says that Pinky was unpleasant to everyone-not just Jessi. I don’t remember Pinky being mean to her classmates. I don’t remember interacting with them at all. I’m pretty sure the BSC would think that disagreeing with the majority of her classmates about the skit was her being mean. And she wasn’t being difficult with Jessi. Some people don’t like to talk or being forced into activities. Why is that concept so hard to grasp? Not everyone will want to do things your way. Seriously, if more kids acted like actual kids the BSC would be out of business. Now I want a story where the kids were being drugged into compliancy but the drug supply got damaged so now the kids are acting like kids and the BSC can’t handle it.
The lodge owner tells a scary story and everyone nearly shits themselves. There’s a power outage and Mallory’s like, “Yes! I won’t have to go to the dance.” Then the power comes back on. My school had a power outage and if the power’s out for a certain amount of time, we get to go home. The power came on when we had one hour left to go. I was not happy. Mallory is worried about making a fool of herself at the dance. Does she have to go? I’ve never been to a dance because I don’t like dancing and I’d rather be at home reading or on the computer
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