Jessi and the Superbrat, #2
Oh good god, here we go again. Refresh yourself on part uno, and grab some wine. Or at least some chocolate.
Chap4
Like, oh ma gawd, guize! It's some kid who can't be so famous so fast! I'm amused that this e-book has what is probably a typo not in the print books. Becca called her little crush on the show, Lamont, "LamEnt" instead. Appropriate.
So Mal doesn't understand writing fiction? Jessi doens't understand acting.
"I was going to meet a real TV star! Every week people all over the country watched P.S. 162 and every week they laughed at Waldo and his silly science. Hmm. It suddenly occurred to me that maybe Derek would be able to help me with my science homework."
I just got Botox today (helps my migraines), and slapped my head, and now I have a headache from where all the needles were. This book is causing me some pain.
See, if acting as a science genius makes you a science genius, then I guess Jessi will be able to give us some pointers on how to be a swan by the end of this book. Like, a real swan.
*snickers* Oh, Baryshnikov. I'll let my fellow snarkers wonder what the hell that pic is about for a while.
Jessi gets to the house, has a panic attack because zomg tv star, and forces herself to ring the bell. Since she's a fucking idiot, she expected Derek to look like his character.
“Derek?” I don’t think I hid my surprise. The boy she introduced as Derek was just a regular-looking kid. Where were the glasses? And what about his spiky hair?
The stupid is strong in this book.
The poor kid is clearly used to stupid people because he immediately pops into a schpiel about how that's a costume and his vision is fine and he's a normal kid.
Jessi fangirls, and won't shut up about the show. Derek bemoans the long hours. Um, no. Laws in the 80's were sto strict that there's a reason younger kids cast in shows were usually twins. Kids can only be on set for a maximum number of hours, in any capacity. Makeup counts as time on the set, not just time the cameras are running. At his age, he'd have been limited to fours hours on the set. He says he has a tutor on the set, and that's actually a mandated law. Tutors might do the teaching, or they might make sure kids who go to public or private schools are doing their homework. Dakota Fanning went to a regular public school, so it does happen.
Of course, in this short hiatus, he'll be jumping back into his old class because time doesn't apply. Jessi finally realized that the kid wants to be a kid and not talk about work when he got excited to talk about school and Nicky. But she thinks it's only for now.
We get a bit about Derek playing with his little brother, Todd, and it's not at all snarkable. He calls "Candy Land" "Landy Cand," since his brother does, and he lets the tot win every other game. That's just plain sweet sibling...ing.
She gets back to Hollywoo stuff because the kid doesn't matter. Oh, head shots! She wonders if dancers are supposed to have head shots for auditions too! No, you moron, not in your world. But in the real dance world, sometimes yes. It just depends. Derek offers to coach her for Swan Lake auditions.
Jessi thanks him by being stupid and saying she's sure he'll do great in scoence at school, then being surprised when he says he doesn't even like science.
Chap5
Joy. Babysitting chapter. Pic a POV, and stick with it! Strangely, this is a Mal chapter, but is told from Jessi's first-person POV. Mal has an idea for a TV show called Babysitter for the Stars, and that's uncomfortably close to the title of other shows that are still on the air today.
Becca wouldn't shut up about going to the job Jessi had (Mal chapter?), and she's this book's Karen. So off she goes! Derek tried to be gracious, and offered Becca juice, and showed an interest in her life. Questions about school, stuff she likes to do, just a polite kid who has clearly been well-trained. Becca heads right into questions about the show. Only when he started getting pissy did Jessi finally, FINALLY, realize that he does NOT like to be grilled about the show.
I feel bad for the kid. We all see where this is heading.
Jessi gets the bright idea to take Derek to see his old friend, and off they go. Mal has a bit of a head injury since she's talking with extreme formality.
"We are very pleased to extend our hospitality, aren’t we, Nicky? Do come in.”
Poor Nicky looks sheepish, but I think he's embarassed. Derek is too a bit, but they both loosen up and get excited to go play when they hit the backyard.
The triplets play as a team for badminton, and try razzing Derek, Nicky, Becca, and Todd, but then get pissed when Derek single-handedly whoops them. The triplets retaliate by outright bullying Derek and harassing him about being on TV. Poor Derek gets angry, calls them a couple names in return, and storms home.
From what I recall of this book the last time I read it, Derek is pretty much 100% justified in everything he does in this book. The teasing will get worse, and since it's the 'Brooke, he'll be on his own to handle it.
Chap6
This chapter and the previous may as well be one. Jessi's trying to calm Derek down, and he's freaking out, pancking that school will be worse. He's right.
There should be a chapter break after that scene. So I'll shart chapter 6 here.
REAL Chap6
Another babysitting day. I swear D's mom has no interest in the kids. She says she's off to do legal stuff for Derek, but the attoneys and all would be in Hollywood, and there IS downtime for actors, especially during hiatus.
She's waiting for Derek after school, and is shocked that he had a bad day. Who else is? Show of hands? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? No? No one? Thought not.
The girls surrounded him and made him scared they'd hurt him or rip his clothes, and the press was there. I guess there were no teachers. They need out put the cigs out and get out of the bathroom and go do their jobs. The teacher finally DID do something though.
He kicked the reporter out after the bell rang, then made Derek stand at the front of the class and talk about the show and answer questions, and he had to put up with being called a "spoiled brat."
I wanna kick the teacher in his balls.
And it went downhill. The ONLY kid who was nice to him was Nicky. All the other bullied him all day long. So Derek suggests fighting back and playing tricks back. You know what? That actually works for stopping bullying. Since bullies don't like to be challenged, it makes them move on. It sucks, but that's how it works. When schools started telling kids to be passive when they're bullied, it got worse. I remember when it changed. One year teachers kept their heads turned if victims struck back, and the next, full-force victim-blaming started. It was awful and I was suicidal in fifth grade from it. I could no longer defend myself, which was the only way to keep the bullies from hitting me. When I couldn't hit back, they did it. I was a sitting duck. I'm not so much supportive of fighting, but I sure as hell support letting kids defend themselves! Derek's not talking about hitting first, just tricking them back, or fighting back, and as a parent who was bullied mercilessly, I am on his side on this one.
Jessi tells him just play nice. Since that worked so well that first day, right? It's not like the teacher helped at all.
So Derek tells her someone named John...John Doe, I'm sure...also did somethings. All of it was later in the day. Hint. Hint. HINT.
To her credit, Jessi stopped thinking about herself, and got angry on Derek's behalf.
Chap 7
We can skip this one. One sentence summary: Karen...
No, one word. That's all you need to know. Karen.
Chap 8
Finally some dance stuff. Audition morning.
I think we're in the twilight zone. Jessi's nervous about an audition. This is after Coppelia, so it isn't like she's never done this.
The audition is a bunch of professionals, and then an 11-year-old. Jessi loosk down on a group of dancers making "nasty comments" about other dancers as they audition. Well, it's not nasty to talk amongst yourselves about what other dancers are doing wrong. That's how you reinforce to yourself what to watch out for. Jessi thinks of herself as the true professional, and turns her back on them.
Jessi gets a call-back. Again, that's not how things work. Call-backs are posted after the first round. When you're called back on the spot, it means stay there and everyone else can leave. It's not a call-back if you're already there.
She calls Mal, and we get some whiplash groing from ballet to Derek throwing food in the cafeteria in two sentences, and Jessi swearing "John" pushed Derek too far.
And by Tyler, we mean John. in John we trust.
I'm leaving this section off at that because I can't even. I just can't. This book is surprisingly boring, which is saying something since this series doesn't exactly have a lot going for it in the first place. It has Richard Spier, the only character with multiple dimensions, and it has... What else does it have? I almost said Mrs. Newton for that one time she chastized the girls for ruining Jamie's birthday party; but then she turned around and let her sick 4-year-old go sailing with a couple barely-qualified (as in not qualified at all) teenagers, without regard to the impending weather. So she sucks too. Alan Grey! It has Alan Grey, and he's pretty harmless. He's not malicious. But that's all Richard and Alan.
I'll try to get the next part up tomorrow. Try.
Yes, Yoda. You are right.
Chap4
Like, oh ma gawd, guize! It's some kid who can't be so famous so fast! I'm amused that this e-book has what is probably a typo not in the print books. Becca called her little crush on the show, Lamont, "LamEnt" instead. Appropriate.
So Mal doesn't understand writing fiction? Jessi doens't understand acting.
"I was going to meet a real TV star! Every week people all over the country watched P.S. 162 and every week they laughed at Waldo and his silly science. Hmm. It suddenly occurred to me that maybe Derek would be able to help me with my science homework."
I just got Botox today (helps my migraines), and slapped my head, and now I have a headache from where all the needles were. This book is causing me some pain.
See, if acting as a science genius makes you a science genius, then I guess Jessi will be able to give us some pointers on how to be a swan by the end of this book. Like, a real swan.
*snickers* Oh, Baryshnikov. I'll let my fellow snarkers wonder what the hell that pic is about for a while.
Jessi gets to the house, has a panic attack because zomg tv star, and forces herself to ring the bell. Since she's a fucking idiot, she expected Derek to look like his character.
“Derek?” I don’t think I hid my surprise. The boy she introduced as Derek was just a regular-looking kid. Where were the glasses? And what about his spiky hair?
The stupid is strong in this book.
The poor kid is clearly used to stupid people because he immediately pops into a schpiel about how that's a costume and his vision is fine and he's a normal kid.
Jessi fangirls, and won't shut up about the show. Derek bemoans the long hours. Um, no. Laws in the 80's were sto strict that there's a reason younger kids cast in shows were usually twins. Kids can only be on set for a maximum number of hours, in any capacity. Makeup counts as time on the set, not just time the cameras are running. At his age, he'd have been limited to fours hours on the set. He says he has a tutor on the set, and that's actually a mandated law. Tutors might do the teaching, or they might make sure kids who go to public or private schools are doing their homework. Dakota Fanning went to a regular public school, so it does happen.
Of course, in this short hiatus, he'll be jumping back into his old class because time doesn't apply. Jessi finally realized that the kid wants to be a kid and not talk about work when he got excited to talk about school and Nicky. But she thinks it's only for now.
We get a bit about Derek playing with his little brother, Todd, and it's not at all snarkable. He calls "Candy Land" "Landy Cand," since his brother does, and he lets the tot win every other game. That's just plain sweet sibling...ing.
She gets back to Hollywoo stuff because the kid doesn't matter. Oh, head shots! She wonders if dancers are supposed to have head shots for auditions too! No, you moron, not in your world. But in the real dance world, sometimes yes. It just depends. Derek offers to coach her for Swan Lake auditions.
Jessi thanks him by being stupid and saying she's sure he'll do great in scoence at school, then being surprised when he says he doesn't even like science.
Chap5
Joy. Babysitting chapter. Pic a POV, and stick with it! Strangely, this is a Mal chapter, but is told from Jessi's first-person POV. Mal has an idea for a TV show called Babysitter for the Stars, and that's uncomfortably close to the title of other shows that are still on the air today.
Becca wouldn't shut up about going to the job Jessi had (Mal chapter?), and she's this book's Karen. So off she goes! Derek tried to be gracious, and offered Becca juice, and showed an interest in her life. Questions about school, stuff she likes to do, just a polite kid who has clearly been well-trained. Becca heads right into questions about the show. Only when he started getting pissy did Jessi finally, FINALLY, realize that he does NOT like to be grilled about the show.
I feel bad for the kid. We all see where this is heading.
Jessi gets the bright idea to take Derek to see his old friend, and off they go. Mal has a bit of a head injury since she's talking with extreme formality.
"We are very pleased to extend our hospitality, aren’t we, Nicky? Do come in.”
Poor Nicky looks sheepish, but I think he's embarassed. Derek is too a bit, but they both loosen up and get excited to go play when they hit the backyard.
The triplets play as a team for badminton, and try razzing Derek, Nicky, Becca, and Todd, but then get pissed when Derek single-handedly whoops them. The triplets retaliate by outright bullying Derek and harassing him about being on TV. Poor Derek gets angry, calls them a couple names in return, and storms home.
From what I recall of this book the last time I read it, Derek is pretty much 100% justified in everything he does in this book. The teasing will get worse, and since it's the 'Brooke, he'll be on his own to handle it.
Chap6
This chapter and the previous may as well be one. Jessi's trying to calm Derek down, and he's freaking out, pancking that school will be worse. He's right.
There should be a chapter break after that scene. So I'll shart chapter 6 here.
REAL Chap6
Another babysitting day. I swear D's mom has no interest in the kids. She says she's off to do legal stuff for Derek, but the attoneys and all would be in Hollywood, and there IS downtime for actors, especially during hiatus.
She's waiting for Derek after school, and is shocked that he had a bad day. Who else is? Show of hands? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller? No? No one? Thought not.
The girls surrounded him and made him scared they'd hurt him or rip his clothes, and the press was there. I guess there were no teachers. They need out put the cigs out and get out of the bathroom and go do their jobs. The teacher finally DID do something though.
He kicked the reporter out after the bell rang, then made Derek stand at the front of the class and talk about the show and answer questions, and he had to put up with being called a "spoiled brat."
I wanna kick the teacher in his balls.
And it went downhill. The ONLY kid who was nice to him was Nicky. All the other bullied him all day long. So Derek suggests fighting back and playing tricks back. You know what? That actually works for stopping bullying. Since bullies don't like to be challenged, it makes them move on. It sucks, but that's how it works. When schools started telling kids to be passive when they're bullied, it got worse. I remember when it changed. One year teachers kept their heads turned if victims struck back, and the next, full-force victim-blaming started. It was awful and I was suicidal in fifth grade from it. I could no longer defend myself, which was the only way to keep the bullies from hitting me. When I couldn't hit back, they did it. I was a sitting duck. I'm not so much supportive of fighting, but I sure as hell support letting kids defend themselves! Derek's not talking about hitting first, just tricking them back, or fighting back, and as a parent who was bullied mercilessly, I am on his side on this one.
Jessi tells him just play nice. Since that worked so well that first day, right? It's not like the teacher helped at all.
So Derek tells her someone named John...John Doe, I'm sure...also did somethings. All of it was later in the day. Hint. Hint. HINT.
To her credit, Jessi stopped thinking about herself, and got angry on Derek's behalf.
Chap 7
We can skip this one. One sentence summary: Karen...
No, one word. That's all you need to know. Karen.
Chap 8
Finally some dance stuff. Audition morning.
I think we're in the twilight zone. Jessi's nervous about an audition. This is after Coppelia, so it isn't like she's never done this.
The audition is a bunch of professionals, and then an 11-year-old. Jessi loosk down on a group of dancers making "nasty comments" about other dancers as they audition. Well, it's not nasty to talk amongst yourselves about what other dancers are doing wrong. That's how you reinforce to yourself what to watch out for. Jessi thinks of herself as the true professional, and turns her back on them.
Jessi gets a call-back. Again, that's not how things work. Call-backs are posted after the first round. When you're called back on the spot, it means stay there and everyone else can leave. It's not a call-back if you're already there.
She calls Mal, and we get some whiplash groing from ballet to Derek throwing food in the cafeteria in two sentences, and Jessi swearing "John" pushed Derek too far.
And by Tyler, we mean John. in John we trust.
I'm leaving this section off at that because I can't even. I just can't. This book is surprisingly boring, which is saying something since this series doesn't exactly have a lot going for it in the first place. It has Richard Spier, the only character with multiple dimensions, and it has... What else does it have? I almost said Mrs. Newton for that one time she chastized the girls for ruining Jamie's birthday party; but then she turned around and let her sick 4-year-old go sailing with a couple barely-qualified (as in not qualified at all) teenagers, without regard to the impending weather. So she sucks too. Alan Grey! It has Alan Grey, and he's pretty harmless. He's not malicious. But that's all Richard and Alan.
I'll try to get the next part up tomorrow. Try.
Yes, Yoda. You are right.