California Girls! Part 4!
Hee hee. Sorry, guys. I bought me Fantasy Life and have just been playing that instead of doing my snarking duties. It's been so long since I had a good fantasy RPG to play. I also apologise for this snark being super short, but I was raging so hard I couldn't even think straight. Plus, my hands are super achy because I'm old and creaky. I really need a mouse. Anyway, let's go!
Part 1! Part 2! Part 3!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 16!-Claudia
Jesus Christ. Already?! Already Stacey being a pain in the ass?! With this book and two other Stacey books getting snarked right now, I'm just like 'Ugghhhh. Someone clock this bitch with a 2x4.' At their US trip, Stacey is hounding Claudia to stay with Terry. Why the fuck is this so important to her?! She doesn't like him! They have nothing in common! Garrote the bitch with a candy necklace, Claud! She doesn't care about your feelings! Goddamn!
When they get home, Claudia is so desperate she calls Janine to ask about nerd subjects to talk about with Terry. Janine, not being a total dumbass like her sister, asks why she wants to know these things. Claudia tells her she's trying to impress a boy and Janine is like 'He's gonna find out you're stupid sooner or later. Just be yourself and if he still likes you, well, good.' She says to invite him along to their upcoming Hollywood trip and just be herself around him. Claudia agrees to this and actually thanks Janine for her advice.
The rest of the chapter is just blah blah blah about things in Hollywood. But Terry is enjoying himself and Claudia is too. She talks to him about things she actually knows about and he stays interested. So, I guess he's not a total tool though I still wonder why he said nothing about her crying after a date. When they drop him off, Claudia laments him living so far away and he gives her a kiss. Gross.
Chapter 17!-Jessi
Nononononononono. NO! Fuck this stupid shit! Jessi is thinking over her fight with Mal and thinks she's at fault. Fuuuuuuccckkkkk! Fucking no! You did nothing wrong, you damn idiot! I just! I!
Okay, I'm back. But what the fuck is wrong with Ann that when someone is being a total shit lord, the hurt party is the one to apologise?! Mal was being a total idiot pain in the ass, using her 'friend' and inwardly bitching about her but Jessi is the one who's at fault?! Jessi invites Mal to watch Derek Zoolander tape his show and I don't give a fuck.
I'm speed-running this bitch because I don't want the utter stupidity to leak out my laptop and give me the clap or something. There is some delicious schadenfreude when the director of the show asks for extras and Mal runs up and says she'll do it, and he's like 'No. I don't want to risk breaking the cameras. They're expensive, you know. Now, would you kindly go back under your bridge and eat a goat or something?' Mal starts whining her 'real California girl' crap and shut the Hell up, Mal. I thoroughly hate your guts.
Chapter 18!-Mallory
What's this? A chapter of nothing but whining from the biggest baby this side of Boh from Spirited Away?! Why no! I won't be covering this, Ann! Feel free for you and Mal to go get fucked in the ear! Okay, so some rundown. Mal realises she's a moron, calls herself rightfully ugly and dyes her hair back the right colour. Now excuse me but I need a drink.
Ginger tears! So refreshing!
Chapter 19!-Stacey
Stacey goes out again with those older friends of Dawn's and on the way back home they get in a wreck because teens are bad drivers or whatever. Unless you're Charlie. Then you're just plain sad. Everyone is okay and taken to the hospital for a once over. Stacey explains that she's visiting a friend so she has to call Jack since she can't call her parents. Jack is out but Carol says she and Dawn will be right over. When they get there, Carol says they have to tell Jack what happened and both Stacey and Dawn are shocked. What were you expecting, you idiots? They get home and Stacey tells about what happened. Boring.
Chapter 20!-Dawn
No. No I'm not covering that shit stain on a hobo's crunchy underwear known as Dawn being a horrible, horrible brat and bitching about Carol, and how every little fucking thing she does is wrong in Dawn's eyes. Although, Dawn ends the chapter saying she accepts Carol in her life and what a dirty ass liar. Since that was short and sassy, I offer you this gif. With no context. Because I need something to unclench my fists and jaw.
Part 1! Part 2! Part 3!
-Song of the Day!-
Chapter 16!-Claudia
Jesus Christ. Already?! Already Stacey being a pain in the ass?! With this book and two other Stacey books getting snarked right now, I'm just like 'Ugghhhh. Someone clock this bitch with a 2x4.' At their US trip, Stacey is hounding Claudia to stay with Terry. Why the fuck is this so important to her?! She doesn't like him! They have nothing in common! Garrote the bitch with a candy necklace, Claud! She doesn't care about your feelings! Goddamn!
When they get home, Claudia is so desperate she calls Janine to ask about nerd subjects to talk about with Terry. Janine, not being a total dumbass like her sister, asks why she wants to know these things. Claudia tells her she's trying to impress a boy and Janine is like 'He's gonna find out you're stupid sooner or later. Just be yourself and if he still likes you, well, good.' She says to invite him along to their upcoming Hollywood trip and just be herself around him. Claudia agrees to this and actually thanks Janine for her advice.
The rest of the chapter is just blah blah blah about things in Hollywood. But Terry is enjoying himself and Claudia is too. She talks to him about things she actually knows about and he stays interested. So, I guess he's not a total tool though I still wonder why he said nothing about her crying after a date. When they drop him off, Claudia laments him living so far away and he gives her a kiss. Gross.
Chapter 17!-Jessi
Nononononononono. NO! Fuck this stupid shit! Jessi is thinking over her fight with Mal and thinks she's at fault. Fuuuuuuccckkkkk! Fucking no! You did nothing wrong, you damn idiot! I just! I!
Okay, I'm back. But what the fuck is wrong with Ann that when someone is being a total shit lord, the hurt party is the one to apologise?! Mal was being a total idiot pain in the ass, using her 'friend' and inwardly bitching about her but Jessi is the one who's at fault?! Jessi invites Mal to watch Derek Zoolander tape his show and I don't give a fuck.
I'm speed-running this bitch because I don't want the utter stupidity to leak out my laptop and give me the clap or something. There is some delicious schadenfreude when the director of the show asks for extras and Mal runs up and says she'll do it, and he's like 'No. I don't want to risk breaking the cameras. They're expensive, you know. Now, would you kindly go back under your bridge and eat a goat or something?' Mal starts whining her 'real California girl' crap and shut the Hell up, Mal. I thoroughly hate your guts.
Chapter 18!-Mallory
What's this? A chapter of nothing but whining from the biggest baby this side of Boh from Spirited Away?! Why no! I won't be covering this, Ann! Feel free for you and Mal to go get fucked in the ear! Okay, so some rundown. Mal realises she's a moron, calls herself rightfully ugly and dyes her hair back the right colour. Now excuse me but I need a drink.
Ginger tears! So refreshing!
Chapter 19!-Stacey
Stacey goes out again with those older friends of Dawn's and on the way back home they get in a wreck because teens are bad drivers or whatever. Unless you're Charlie. Then you're just plain sad. Everyone is okay and taken to the hospital for a once over. Stacey explains that she's visiting a friend so she has to call Jack since she can't call her parents. Jack is out but Carol says she and Dawn will be right over. When they get there, Carol says they have to tell Jack what happened and both Stacey and Dawn are shocked. What were you expecting, you idiots? They get home and Stacey tells about what happened. Boring.
Chapter 20!-Dawn
No. No I'm not covering that shit stain on a hobo's crunchy underwear known as Dawn being a horrible, horrible brat and bitching about Carol, and how every little fucking thing she does is wrong in Dawn's eyes. Although, Dawn ends the chapter saying she accepts Carol in her life and what a dirty ass liar. Since that was short and sassy, I offer you this gif. With no context. Because I need something to unclench my fists and jaw.