BSC TV Show Episode 1: Mary Anne and the Brunettes
Though I have been lurking around this community quite a bit, I just made an account and have yet to snark something. Since I unfortunately don't have any BSC books at the moment, I suppose the show will have to do for now. This was originally going to be posted as a liveblog on TV Tropes, but I want to do this without having to insert what would be the basic equivalent to every Chapter 2. Enjoy!
We start out in Claudia's room with what I assume is everyone arriving for a BSC meeting. Oh, fuck, Kristy's narrating. Goddamnit Kristy, this was what we wanted to avoid! Anyway, instead of torturing us with facts we've heard a million times, she decides that we'd like a recap of the week instead. My responses are confusion and WTFs aplenty:
1. Apparently Jenny was fingerpainting with Claudia and made a mess. Since when does Jenny fingerpaint? I could've sworn she pitched almost every time an art project was suggested. I'm not even a minute into the episode, and I've already uttered my first WTF.
2. While Mary Anne was babysitting Jamie, both he and his bike needed a good-night kiss. Not even going to respond to that.
3. Dawn babysat for the Rodowskys, and shit happened as per usual. No, Kristy, I have no idea what it's being like locked in a bathroom with three freckle-faced redheads. Also, why the hell are Dawn plus all three Rodowskys in the bathroom at the same time? I was never a huge fan of Dawn, so I skipped over most of her babysitting chapters when I was younger. Probably a good idea on my part. I love her reaction to the broken doorknob, though. "Gosh darn it! Jackie the walking disaster strikes again!"
4. Apparently Stacey made a cake (I'm just as confused as you are) with Karen and Andrew and they licked the bowl too early. Nothing else interesting for this one except for the fact that Karen and Andrew seemed to become brunettes overnight. Also, the subtitles identified Andrew as "Angelo." You had one job, subtitles!
5. Jessi tried (and failed) to teach two little kids to dance. Boooring.
6. Mallory babysat some kid who wanted to bring a wagonful of books to the park. I never wanted to go anywhere without a book when I was little, so I can definitely relate. Also, Mallory, pale pink is not a good color for you.
7. Kristy watched...a piglet? Uh...
Blah blah blah cheesy intro with equally cheesy music. Anyway, back to Claudia's room. Claudia is asking the ever-important question of whether she should paint faces or do portraits for the middle school fair. Apparently, little kids can't sit still for portraits, so face painting it is. Wait, didn't she just say it was a MIDDLE SCHOOL fair just two seconds before? My brain hurts.
Kristy starts the meeting, and in a shocking twist, there's a surplus in the treasury! Also, the club's so-called "bookworm" doesn't know what a surplus is. The hell? Jessi suggests a pizza party, but her idea is quickly shot down because she's black Kristy is sick of pizza. Funny, I thought pizza was one of the only foods that existed in Stoneybrook. Mrs. Rodowsky calls asking if someone can babysit the kids on Saturday. Mary Anne takes the job. Then, Logan calls (and Mary Anne conveniently picks up the phone). Apparently, Logan needs someone to watch his little brother and sister since he has to make up a math test. Claudia agrees to take the job. Then, Mary Anne asks Logan if he'll babysit with her. Is Logan considered an associate member in the TV show as well? If not, Mary Anne should know better than to invite Logan along. Seriously, that's unprofessional.
What the hell is "mookie" supposed to mean? Is it some late 80's/early 90's term I'm unfamiliar with (I was born in 1997, but the books were at least easy enough for me to read without being from that era).
The surplus is brought back up, and Mary Anne suggests splurging on Kid Kits. The club puts it to a vote, and the result is an almost unanimous decision to invest in Kid Kit supplies. Jessi is the lone voter for pizza. I'm sensing a pattern here.
Cut to MA, Kristy, and Logan in what I'm guessing is a department store. Logan's a sweetheart and says he'll wait for MA while she's trying on earrings. After some convincing, he decides to go look at baseball mitts with Kristy. Meanwhile, three unnamed girls are trying on makeup. Apparently, there is a costume party after the confusing middle school fair, and they are going as hippies. They argue for a little bit about how apparently one of them didn't agree when, suddenly, EGADS! Logan appears! Unnamed girl #1 gushes about Logan's personality and his crappy accent. Girl #2 (apparently named Patti) points out the obvious fact that Logan is already going out with MA. Girl #1 is confuzzled, as MA is a "wimp". Understatement of the year, ladies and gents! Despite the fact that she knows Logan and MA are an item, Girl #1 seems to be very determined to get Logan in her pants to go with her to the costume party. Yay, sluts.
Cut to Claudia, who appeared out of nowhere and is now trying on earrings. Apparently, Stacey, Dawn, and Mallory have also magically appeared in the store. Mallory bitches about her nose. MA is suddenly with them and debates whether or not to buy a pair of earrings. I love how Claudia's just trying shit on in the background while the others are trying to convince MA to buy the earrings. MA decides to focus on buying art supplies for the Kid Kits like a good little slave and puts the earrings back.
Meanwhile, Logan has found a great new glove, a MOOKIE Wilson. Once again, my brain is broken. First "mookie" is an adjective, and now it's a proper noun. Unless it's being used as an adjective in both cases, which makes me wonder why the hell he'd want that glove with that kind of brand name. The glove is unfortunately at the semi-realistic price of $50, which of course is a ton of money in BSC-land. Girl #1 conveniently appears in the sports section and asks Logan for a favor. Not that kind, mind you. She apparently wants some input on skates.
Kristy, who is testing out a bat, overhears Girl #1 (who apparently is named Marci, if the subtitles are correct( asking Logan for some help and goes to spy on them. As if this wasn't suspicious enough, her exact words were "Oh nuts, I can't do it. Would you mind, Logan? You can get them really tight." If my mind wasn't in the gutter before, it certainly is now. Oh, she's just trying on skates. Last I checked, a 13-year-old girl can put a pair of skates on without help. She then asks Logan to come skating with her, as well as to the costume party. So subtle. Logan gives her a "maybe". Kristy bangs her head on a bag of beach balls, revealing herself and her crappy spying skills.
This entry's getting long and I don't know how much more I can take, so I'm going to stop here for now. Give me some feedback, and hopefully part 2 will come tomorrow!
We start out in Claudia's room with what I assume is everyone arriving for a BSC meeting. Oh, fuck, Kristy's narrating. Goddamnit Kristy, this was what we wanted to avoid! Anyway, instead of torturing us with facts we've heard a million times, she decides that we'd like a recap of the week instead. My responses are confusion and WTFs aplenty:
1. Apparently Jenny was fingerpainting with Claudia and made a mess. Since when does Jenny fingerpaint? I could've sworn she pitched almost every time an art project was suggested. I'm not even a minute into the episode, and I've already uttered my first WTF.
2. While Mary Anne was babysitting Jamie, both he and his bike needed a good-night kiss. Not even going to respond to that.
3. Dawn babysat for the Rodowskys, and shit happened as per usual. No, Kristy, I have no idea what it's being like locked in a bathroom with three freckle-faced redheads. Also, why the hell are Dawn plus all three Rodowskys in the bathroom at the same time? I was never a huge fan of Dawn, so I skipped over most of her babysitting chapters when I was younger. Probably a good idea on my part. I love her reaction to the broken doorknob, though. "Gosh darn it! Jackie the walking disaster strikes again!"
4. Apparently Stacey made a cake (I'm just as confused as you are) with Karen and Andrew and they licked the bowl too early. Nothing else interesting for this one except for the fact that Karen and Andrew seemed to become brunettes overnight. Also, the subtitles identified Andrew as "Angelo." You had one job, subtitles!
5. Jessi tried (and failed) to teach two little kids to dance. Boooring.
6. Mallory babysat some kid who wanted to bring a wagonful of books to the park. I never wanted to go anywhere without a book when I was little, so I can definitely relate. Also, Mallory, pale pink is not a good color for you.
7. Kristy watched...a piglet? Uh...
Blah blah blah cheesy intro with equally cheesy music. Anyway, back to Claudia's room. Claudia is asking the ever-important question of whether she should paint faces or do portraits for the middle school fair. Apparently, little kids can't sit still for portraits, so face painting it is. Wait, didn't she just say it was a MIDDLE SCHOOL fair just two seconds before? My brain hurts.
Kristy starts the meeting, and in a shocking twist, there's a surplus in the treasury! Also, the club's so-called "bookworm" doesn't know what a surplus is. The hell? Jessi suggests a pizza party, but her idea is quickly shot down because she's black Kristy is sick of pizza. Funny, I thought pizza was one of the only foods that existed in Stoneybrook. Mrs. Rodowsky calls asking if someone can babysit the kids on Saturday. Mary Anne takes the job. Then, Logan calls (and Mary Anne conveniently picks up the phone). Apparently, Logan needs someone to watch his little brother and sister since he has to make up a math test. Claudia agrees to take the job. Then, Mary Anne asks Logan if he'll babysit with her. Is Logan considered an associate member in the TV show as well? If not, Mary Anne should know better than to invite Logan along. Seriously, that's unprofessional.
What the hell is "mookie" supposed to mean? Is it some late 80's/early 90's term I'm unfamiliar with (I was born in 1997, but the books were at least easy enough for me to read without being from that era).
The surplus is brought back up, and Mary Anne suggests splurging on Kid Kits. The club puts it to a vote, and the result is an almost unanimous decision to invest in Kid Kit supplies. Jessi is the lone voter for pizza. I'm sensing a pattern here.
Cut to MA, Kristy, and Logan in what I'm guessing is a department store. Logan's a sweetheart and says he'll wait for MA while she's trying on earrings. After some convincing, he decides to go look at baseball mitts with Kristy. Meanwhile, three unnamed girls are trying on makeup. Apparently, there is a costume party after the confusing middle school fair, and they are going as hippies. They argue for a little bit about how apparently one of them didn't agree when, suddenly, EGADS! Logan appears! Unnamed girl #1 gushes about Logan's personality and his crappy accent. Girl #2 (apparently named Patti) points out the obvious fact that Logan is already going out with MA. Girl #1 is confuzzled, as MA is a "wimp". Understatement of the year, ladies and gents! Despite the fact that she knows Logan and MA are an item, Girl #1 seems to be very determined to get Logan in her pants to go with her to the costume party. Yay, sluts.
Cut to Claudia, who appeared out of nowhere and is now trying on earrings. Apparently, Stacey, Dawn, and Mallory have also magically appeared in the store. Mallory bitches about her nose. MA is suddenly with them and debates whether or not to buy a pair of earrings. I love how Claudia's just trying shit on in the background while the others are trying to convince MA to buy the earrings. MA decides to focus on buying art supplies for the Kid Kits like a good little slave and puts the earrings back.
Meanwhile, Logan has found a great new glove, a MOOKIE Wilson. Once again, my brain is broken. First "mookie" is an adjective, and now it's a proper noun. Unless it's being used as an adjective in both cases, which makes me wonder why the hell he'd want that glove with that kind of brand name. The glove is unfortunately at the semi-realistic price of $50, which of course is a ton of money in BSC-land. Girl #1 conveniently appears in the sports section and asks Logan for a favor. Not that kind, mind you. She apparently wants some input on skates.
Kristy, who is testing out a bat, overhears Girl #1 (who apparently is named Marci, if the subtitles are correct( asking Logan for some help and goes to spy on them. As if this wasn't suspicious enough, her exact words were "Oh nuts, I can't do it. Would you mind, Logan? You can get them really tight." If my mind wasn't in the gutter before, it certainly is now. Oh, she's just trying on skates. Last I checked, a 13-year-old girl can put a pair of skates on without help. She then asks Logan to come skating with her, as well as to the costume party. So subtle. Logan gives her a "maybe". Kristy bangs her head on a bag of beach balls, revealing herself and her crappy spying skills.
This entry's getting long and I don't know how much more I can take, so I'm going to stop here for now. Give me some feedback, and hopefully part 2 will come tomorrow!